Seized With Life
by Lord Malachite
Summary: Chapter 12-The aftermath of Raven's outburst finds Jinx ministering to Terra, but the blonde is happier in the realm of her fantasies than in that of the cold dark reality lying in wait for her. Meanwhile, Raven approaches Robin about a way to end the ongoing drama surrounding the raising of their daughter, Rain-if he can bear the cost. RobxRae eventual BBxTerra Updated 6/25/14
1. Yes  Part Of A Balanced Breakfast

Prologue:_ Yes_

Robin paced back and forth in front of Raven's bed, feeling a mixture of emotions. Surprise, shock, fear, elation, concern-they all radiated off of him, each separate emotion crashing against Raven's empathic shields like waves on the shore—neither forceful nor storming, but very much alive. "How did this happen?" He wondered aloud, not sure what to think.

"Conception generally occurs when a fleet of male sperm reach the female egg, penetrating the ovum and causing the chromosome pairs from each donor to unite into a new, single-celled organism. The zygote then begins to rapidly divide and embeds itself within the wall of the uterus where it will grow, gestating until-"

"I get the picture."

"You were the one who asked for the biology lesson."

"I know how it happened, Raven. What I meant was _how _did it happen."

Raven crossed her arms over her chest. "Contrary to social interpretation, reproduction is the biological reason for sexual encounters."

"But it's also meant as a way to show love and intimacy."

"That's only natural." Raven deadpanned. "Choosing a mate is a very serious thing. It's one thing to care for someone, it's another completely to choose them to create another life with."

"But we didn't choose-"

"No, we didn't plan." Raven explained. "Look, Robin, if there's one thing I figured you of all people would know about me, it's that I'm a very private person. I'm not exactly the kind of girl to hook up with the first good looking guy that comes along. Do you honestly think I would engage in sexual activities with someone if I wasn't willing to reproduce with them in the first place?"

Robin smirked. "So you planned this."

"No. As you recall, we were taking precautions. This was never my intent."

"But you just said-"

"And I meant it. But that was something I was assuming would come later. Significantly later. Looks like the timetable has been advanced."

Robin finally stopped his pacing and sat on the bed. "You're rather calm about this."

"I wasn't always. I'd just suspected for awhile and prepared myself for this outcome prior to taking any of the tests."

"Do you want to go through with it?"

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Do you not want to go through with it?"

"I want what you want, Raven."

"How noble." The corners of her lips upturned in that manner that always set his heart beating faster. "But there is something else we need to discuss."

"And that is?"

"I want to move back to Jump City."

"Why?"

"Because if we're going to do this, we'll need help. People to help us look after the baby, for example. And I think it might be in our best interests to see if we can't turn our talents towards the workforce."

"Are you saying I should get a job?"

"I'm saying that if we're going to raise a child together, it shouldn't have to worry about its parents not coming home. It deserves parents who will always be there. Preferably unhurt. And there would be the matter of godparents. We don't exactly know a lot of people. I think it should be one of our friends."

Robin crawled up the bed to where Raven sat coquettishly-she seemed rather pleased with herself for having thought things through so well. "Hmm..." He inhaled the scent of lavender from her hair. "I think I'm finally starting to recall how this happened."

"Oh really?" She inquired, leaning back and being immediately enveloped in his arms. "But you haven't said 'yes' yet, Robin."

"Haven't I?" He asked, trailing his nose down to her neck, where his lips quickly found purchase.

Raven leaned her head back instinctively, caught betwixt her desire for control and her desire to surrender. The latter was winning out at the time his right arm circled her back while the left ran feverishly through her hair. "No." She breathed in response to his question. "You haven't."

Taking her own initiative, she used his distraction to twist her legs, using them to grab hold of his torso, she locked him in by pressing her feet together against his back, pushing him against her and spreading a delightful fountain of warmth throughout her chest when she felt his heartbeat. With a low growl, she heard Robin acquiesce half a second before he crushed his lips against her own.

"Yes."

Chapter One: _Part Of A Balanced Breakfast_

_**THREE YEARS LATER...**_

"Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos. Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos. Azarath...Metrion...Zinthos."

The signature chant of Raven reverberated quietly around her private library. The room had once been Robin's living quarters, been upon her arriving back at Titans Tower years ago, Cyborg had taken on a remodeling project. Raven, Robin, and Starfire's rooms had been combined into one living area. Robin's former room now served as Raven's library and study, Raven's old living quarters were now a master bedroom, and Starfire had donated her room to Rain, Robin and Raven's daughter. Cyborg had even spent the time to add a new, full bathroom to their premises. The common room and kitchen on the main floor still met their other needs-Robin had explicitly stated he didn't want a situation where they lived completely apart from their friends-they were all family, and Raven had agreed to that effortlessly.

The morning, Raven had found, was when she could find the time to properly meditate and work out her emotional concerns in a safe environment. Robin tended to wake up at 8:30 so he could enjoy a hot shower and a full breakfast before heading to the car dealership for his dayjob. Being an auto salesman had proven a great boon not just for their little family, but Jump City as a whole. Robin never had an end of appointments with customers who would often end up buying from him just for the chance to meet him. It made sense from more than one standpoint-not only was there some basic hero worship from the general population, but Rohin was also a face customers knew they could trust more than some fly-by-night salesman with the word 'honest' in front of his name. He personally guaranteed the vehicles he sold on a separate but legally binding warranty than what the dealership would provide. Cyborg personally gave all the vehicles a once over and did any warranty work that might come up, and the two were splitting the profits amicably. They weren't getting rich, but there was plenty of money to feed seven people and a moth larvae, not to mention keep the Tower in good shape and its equipment up-to-date.

Rain also liked to get up early in the morning. But with Robin's schedule and the importance of Raven's meditation, this problem was happily solved by the girl's godmother, Terra, who faithfully brought the young girl downstairs each day for cartoons and breakfast. Rain took to Terra the way a pig took to mud, which sometimes caused Raven to question whether she was doing alright as a mother. Currently, that thought kept intruding on her meditation, and no matter how hard she tried to zen it away, it clung to her subconscious.

With considerable effort, Raven but up a mental block to contain the thought, using logic and rationality against it. Rain did not fear her or turn away from her. For all intents and purposes, Terra was just the type of personality that children would gravitate towards. And, deep down, she was grateful that the blonde girl filled a supportive role for her daughter. Rain had not inherited her destructive empathic power, something Raven was only too glad for. It was only fair that her daughter be able to live a more emotionally balanced life. It would be cruelly unfair for something as innocuous as childhood wonder and excitement to cause random destruction in the environment around her.

Due to complications in the pregnancy, her features were more human than Raven's own. This she had expected-being a hybrid herself, only a quarter of Trigon's genes would be passed down. And unlike Raven herself, Rain would be able to grow up and experience joy on her birthday rather than sorrow. Rain was her greatest accomplishment, and her proudest. Even in the aftermath of Trigon's brief reign over the earth, Raven had still feared her birthday each year, unwilling to lower her guard that the evil prophecy of her birth couldn't find a way to resurge and begin again. But, gradually, she began to realize that she had won, and it was only then that she truly became open to the possibilities of her life. It had once seemed so finite, but now it stretched onward, full of promises and opportunities, of triumphs and disasters, of joy and sorrow and all the many, many things in between. And slowly, she was learning to experience them all, to find ways to let her emotions out safely. To live life to the fullest extent that she could. Rain was her true triumph-her daughter's birth, clean and pure and unmarked by evil or wicked prophecy was her final victory over her father, and the knowledge that her mother's sacrifices were not in vain.

She had started a family. She was engaged in a steady, healthy romantic relationship with a man who accepted her for who she was and understood when she needed it. She was surrounded by teammates, friends...with a surrogate family that she had grown close to and held special meaning to her. She had beaten her own destiny. So why did she still feel that something was incomplete, like there was a puzzle piece missing?

Her thoughts were interrupted by her lover, clad in a towel around his waste as he ran his fingers through his hair, giving it an upsweep. "Raven, I'm getting dressed and heading down to breakfast. Are you coming down soon? I'll steep your favorite." He smiled.

Deciding that the meditation would have to wait until her head was clearer, Raven ceased her chant and extended her legs down to the floor to stand. "Why not? You have a big day today?"

"Clearance sale starts today. That reminds me, want to have a free laugh tomorrow night? There's a Push, Pull, and Tow auction."

"Push, Pull, and Tow?" Raven arched an eyebrow.

"Only vehicles that can't move under their own power anymore. It can be rather amusing."

"I'm not exactly a car aficionado."

"I know, but I just thought we should do something together. Well, not just us. Cyborg will have to come—he knows the parts. I'm just the handsome face that sells the cars without ripping people off."

"And so modest, too." Raven deadpanned.

"Think about it?"

"I'll think about it."

"I'm glad." Robin offered her a smile. He crossed over to their bedroom and opened the closet, pulling on his traditional combat uniform.

"You do know you look ridiculous selling cars in that outfit?" Raven asked.

"To be honest, I feel a little silly myself. But if I try to dress for business, it's nothing but questions all day long. 'Are you the _real _Robin?' Trust me, it's just easier this way."

"Give the people what they want, huh?" deadpanned Raven.

"You know, I'm sure they wouldn't mind seeing you too."

"No thanks."

"I've come to think it's important for the people of the city to see us like this. It lets them know that we're still just regular people. We're not better than them. And it gives the kids something to shoot for, knowing their heroes don't live in a world apart from them. It's something I want to instill in Rain."

Raven paused, unsure of what to say to that. He'd clearly thought this through more than she had, and his devotion to both herself and their daughter had never faltered, even when they'd genuinely fought. Deciding to let him have this one, she sent a wave of affection through their bond, letting the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. Robin led her by the hand to the kitchen.

Breakfast in Titans Tower was never a formal affair. Organized chaos was a better way of describing it. Beast Boy sat on the couch with Rain, the two of them enjoying some weekday morning cartoons. Rain clapped her hands whenever Beast Boy would mimic one of the characters on screen, doing impressions for her. Cyborg and Terra stood over the stove, Terra working on pancakes while Cyborg tended to eggs, bacon, and sausage. And some mysterious substance in a small pan that the package label had the audacity to classify as sausage. Cyborg hated the smell of Beast Boy's food.

"Good morning." Robin addressed the chefs as he sought a free burner to put water on to boil for Raven. "Something smells good this morning."

"It's not the white stuff, that's for sure." Cyborg told him.

Robin chuckled "No argument there."

"ROBIN!" beamed Terra, reaching out for her morning hug. He gladly reciprocated, and the upbeat blonde girl clutched him tightly, pulling back to kiss both sides of his cheek. It was a morning ritual to which he had grown accustomed. To the outside observer, one might mistake the affection that Robin and Terra shared to be romantic. They were frequently close, and took jogs together on the weekend. Indeed, there was a significant love between the two, but it was neither romantic nor physical. Robin had been the one to tirelessly restore her memories and stayed with her through her darkest times, never letting her for a second forget that the past was the past and if she only wanted a future free of pain, rage, and hatred, he would give it to her. There was a tentative, slow relationship between the blonde earth mover and the green changeling, but both parties were being careful not to take things too fast and allow their friendship to blossom into more naturally.

Robin ruffled Terra's hair, appreciating her energy. "Morning, Terra. How's Rain this morning?"

"As doe-eyed and full of wonder as ever. I think she's addicted to Beast Boy's faces." Terra smiled.

"Great, she's not even old enough for pre-school yet and she's already warped beyond repair." Raven stated. Pulling two slices of bread out of the breadbox and placing them into the toaster.

Terra looked over the goth's shoulder. "Dry toast and tea?"

"I don't feel so well this morning." Explained Raven. "A little nausea."

Terra took a half step backward. "Oh my gosh! You're not pregnant again, are you?"

Raven looked at the blonde girl and glared. "No."

"Oh." Terra looked deflated. "Well, if it's something to feel sorry about, I hope you feel better soon."

"Thanks."

Robin took a seat next to her. "You want me to pick you up anything, Raven? I can come home for lunch."

Raven looked at him, puzzled. It was not at all irregular for Robin to look out for her. He kept long hours between his full-time job and part time heroics, but he always took the time out to make sure that she was alright, and took an active interest in Rain's development. He always made it clear they were his first, best priorities, not with empty words, but consistent action. So why did she sometimes feel so…so…whatever it was she felt that made her dissatisfied. It wasn't him, she never regretted their time together. She would be miserable if he wasn't an integral part of her life. So why did she not feel happy when he was around lately?

The answer to that question would have to wait, as the family dynamic was about to complete itself. "Good morning, Friends!" Starfire exclaimed cheerfully as she floated down the staircase, pausing only to spread her arms out before the extensive window. "Is it not a glorious day, today?"

"It is, but I admit, I'd enjoy it more if I didn't have to go to work." Robin nodded.

Beast Boy turned back from the sofa. "Dudes, is the food ready yet? Because I'm ravenous, and Rain's about to eat my hand!"

"Bring her over, Beast Boy." Robin advised, standing up to grab the booster seat out of the corner. He sidled between Cyborg and Terra, snatching a piece of bacon off a plate on the stove

Terra whacked him on the behind with her spatula for his trouble. "Not until we say it's ready!"

"Tastes ready to me." Robin told her. He grabbed the pan with Beast Boy's meat substitute and carried it to the table, forking the contents onto his friend's plate, then deposited the pan in the sink. "Besides, I'm on a schedule, remember?"

"Ah, yes, our working man." Terra smiled.

Starfire claimed her seat at the table. "Robin, you are going to the dealer of automotives today?" the alien asked.

"Sure am Star. I've got a ten o'clock with a young couple. They're expecting twins and need to buy a family car. I'll take good care of them."

"Is it customary for expectant couples to purchase the automotives that sit high off the ground and achieve poor distance per resources consumed?"

"Something like that."

"Then is there a reason that you and Raven have no acquired one?" Starfire asked, confused.

"Because we have Cyborg." Robin grinned, and it reached the eyes concealed by his mask. "But it hasn't been an issue yet. Raven can fly, after all. And I'm fine on the R-cycle. We usually just go placed on foot or in the T-Car if we take Rain with us."

"I don't know, maybe we should consider building a car for your little family." Cyborg smiled. "It might be a fun little side project." Cyborg took a heaping plate of pancakes and began passing them out around the table, putting some on every plate except Raven's.

Terra followed the burly man around, scooping out scrambled eggs. Terra took the seat immediately next to Raven's, taking hold of Rain's plate. She pushed it in front of Raven. "Do you want to do the honors or should I?" She smiled.

Normally, the goth deferred to her daughter's godmother in the mornings, but something inside of her made her want to handle things. "You know what? I think I will." Raven stated, taking hold of the plate. She grabbed a knife and fork from the pile of silverware and set to work cutting the pancake into small, bite sized pieces for Rain. Beast Boy placed the happy little girl into a booster seat behind and to the side of Raven, and everyone stared in amazement as Raven proceeded to feed her daughter with relative ease.

"Hey," Robin remarked, clearly as surprised as the rest of them. "No fussing this morning!"

"I know." Beast Boy said in awe, a piece of tofu sausage dangling on his fork, brought halfway to his mouth and then stopped in its tracks by the wonderment of Rain's easygoing attitude. "Normally Terra and I have to put on a puppet show to get her to eat."

Raven's expression remained neutral, but even she was shocked at how cooperative Rain was behaving. As if to punctuate that, Rain looked up at her mother with an expression that showed she was quite pleased with herself. "Maybe she's growing out of it." Raven offered, but decided not to question some good fortune.

Terra decided not to look a gifthorse in the mouth and began wolfing down her own breakfast. "I can't remember the last time I actually had my eggs warm!" She said between mouthfuls, using the side of her fork to cut into the pancakes. "BB, syrup me!" The pint-sized jester wasted no time in grabbing the artificial syrup and slinging it across the table to his lady friend.

"We really ought to have meals like this more often." Cyborg grinned, setting the plate of bacon and sausage at the center of the table for all to enjoy. He took a healthy share and immediately felt like a new man.

Robin helped himself to three pieces of bacon and ate rapidly. It was already 9:35, he needed to be on his way. Pushing his plate away, he stood up. "I've got to get going."

Starfire looked up from her plate. "Will you be coming home for dinner?"

"I wouldn't dream of missing it." He leaned over to kiss Rain on the forehead, then squeezed Raven's hand. "I'll be home by eight. Call me if you need me to get anything, Raven." She nodded her assent at him, continuing to feed their agreeable daughter before the girl's mood shifted.

"Knock 'em dead dude!" Beast Boy called after him.

Cyborg grinned. "And remember…the spoiler makes the car!"

Terra waved pleasantly at him. "Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you take out the trash on your way out?"

Robin smirked at the blonde girl, crossing the distance to the door that led to the garage. "You cooked it, you take it out." He made a quick exit just as Terra vaulted the table to terrorize him for his teasing. It didn't show to any of the others, but Raven had a distinct look of bemusement on her face.

Half an hour later, the dishes from breakfast were in the dishwasher, Rain was being watched by a tag team of Terra, Beast Boy, and Starfire, Cyborg was in the garage working on dismantling a wreck of a car for parts, which meant Raven was left to her own devices. She longed to do some reading and spend some time bonding with Rain after lunch, but there wouldn't be time for either if she didn't spend enough time in meditation. Abandoning the idea of her library, Raven decided to ascend to the roof. There were no reminders of her daughter or her husband here, nor was anyone likely to disturb her. She didn't want any intrusions into her consciousness.

Finding a nice spot in the morning sun, Raven levitated herself off the ground slightly, crossing her legs and extending her arms, seeking her center. Taking a deep breath, she began her ritual chant. "Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos. Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…" She felt her emotions forming a circle in her mind. Most people would be overwhelmed by the power and personality each single one of them possessed, but Raven had learned longer ago how to master them with the age old tools of time and patience. She ruled her emotions, they did not rule her. But that did not mean that she never reached out to them for guidance.

Today, however, it was only one of them she sought. The problem was that she wasn't completely sure which one. Why did she feel so resentful towards Robin as of late? She briefly sought out Love, inquiring about the change. "We love Robin!" The hopelessly romantic part of her sighed contentedly. Not much help there, but Raven had doubted from the beginning it was a romantic problem. Robin would've likely noticed such a thing before she did.

Anger did not provide any other answers. As always, there was no shortage of things she had to be annoyed or angry over, but there was nothing that seemed to affect her balance or her mood. Briefly, Envy did pop up to say her two cents about Terra being too cozy with Robin, but this was not something that concerned her logic. Robin and Terra had been close for several years, it pre-dated her own romantic complications with him. He was the one who helped her restore her memory. She had been there that night, after all. That horrible night that had frightened even her. Raven remembered it all too well. Years back, when Terra had been Slade's apprentice, Raven remembered fighting the girl all too well. Terra had managed to tap into the kind of hatred Raven knew she should never allowed to be exposed—and she did it so effortlessly. It was one of the strongest, raw emotional experiences of her life. Raven's hatred had ran unfiltered that night, and never before had she ever wanted to visit so much suffering on one individual person.

But the night that Terra had her memories returned had psychically scarred her forever, and that dark night, Raven had seen firsthand what true suffering really was…

Author's Notes

Yes, I've started yet another story. I know, I have so many. But this is what my muse wants to do right now, and I've decided not to let the creativity in me die. So, for better or for worse, here it is.

I was talking with my best friend Pyrex Shards late on Saturday night, during our weekly marathon of shows. One of the series we're currently watching is Teen Titans, and after viewing the episode "Hide and Seek," we began talking about how Raven would actually handle motherhood. A lot of ideas were bounced around and I threatened to do something with them. Less than twenty-four hours later, I was doing exactly that. This thing has just been flowing out of me. Actually, a lot of it has been random scenes—you should see how much material I have for the different parts of this story—that file is easily twice the size of this one I've just uploaded. If I get an idea, I jot it down into a scene as quickly as possible. I'm very happy with what's going on at the moment. This story has a clear emotional path for its primary characters. I don't want to tell everything in this space, but I want it to chart the course of Raven's insecurities along with her good moments, and I've also decided to utilize Terra's character to the utmost, perhaps doing some new and exciting things with her. Or not. There are thousands of Teen Titans fics in the archive and I would hardly claim to own originality on anything at this juncture, but I will strive to tell my story, be it refreshingly new or completely old-hat, in the best possible way that will make you want to read it regardless.

That said, I tried to keep it simple for the opening, and just show a real slice of life. The scene shown here is meant to give you an idea of everyday life among the current Titans. This will be a story about people being people, from beginning to end. Yes, if somehow you couldn't tell from the story tags or the above narrative, it's a Robin/Raven story. One thing it is not is yet another story of Robin and Raven falling in love. I'm quite certain that's been done countless times before, and I'm sure more than once by someone who could tell it far better than I could. So I've decided to skip over all that and have them already be together. This is a story about where they've gone from there and the challenge of everyday life. Some things I have deliberately kept vague—my intent is to slowly, over time, have the stories for characters be told. Why Robin and Raven came together and had a baby, how Terra's memories were returned and how she coped, why Starfire is no longer pining over Robin, etc.

I'm hard at work on some flashback scenes as well as the immediate continuation of this. As I'm wont to do when I'm completely enamored by a story, I'm devoting all of my free time to this, so it's my fond hope to have another update ready in the near future. If you couldn't guess, I'm going to go ahead and reveal Terra's backstory—how she had her memories restored and gained her place in the current Titan dynamic. It's a dark but beautiful sequence I've been crafting in my head for the last twenty-four hours, and I've finally begun typing it out and telling the blonde girl's secrets. It will be submitted for your approval next time.

All right, I'm getting long winded. So about reviews for this thing—love it? Hate it? Does it make you scratch your head and say 'Que?' I'm honestly not entirely sure what reaction to this story is going to be, so I've decided to just run it up the flagpole and see if anyone salutes. If you've read this and had a reaction to it, please take the time to review and tell me. Rip it apart if you hated it—I'm a grown man, I can take it I think that I'm a good writer, but I'm playing in a new toybox now, so I have no allusions about the fact that I might be doing it wrong. If so, please tell me. Or if you think this story is wonderful, go ahead and inflate my ego for a few minutes. It helps when I'm at work, listening to some entitled twit prattle on about their minor inconvenience as though it is the worst thing to ever befall them in life. Oops, did I say that out loud?

So, as I always sign off, please send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

8/17/11

5:42 AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26


	2. The Human Stain Could'a Would'a Should'a

Chapter Two: _The Human Stain, Part One: __Could'a, Would'a, Should'a_

At the top-center of Titans Tower, Cyborg worked at a control panel feverishly, making adjustments beneath its dashboard. Several feet away, Terra sat in a chair with a tall, metal back. There were slots on the arms of the chair to secure her arms and wrists, but currently, the nervous blonde girl was not restrained. She would be, when they were ready to start—not for her imprisonment, but for her own protection. Robin was sure not to wander far from Terra's sight. It had been a joint effort between himself and Beast Boy to convince her to try this, and he wasn't willing to let the girl feel like she was on her own now. Beast Boy had gone out to get her a bit of comfort food for later, knowing all her favorites—but he had promised to return before anything started. As for Raven, she was in her room, meditating, Starfire was directly engaging Terra, offering her abundantly cheerful attitude and positive outlook as reassurance that things would turn out well. Of that, Terra felt uncertain.

The room's extra inhabitant paced back and forth in frustration, bored out of her mind and looking as though she wanted to be anywhere else. Her pink, matted hair was strewn about her head in a mockery of her normal hairstyle—she had been temporarily released from her imprisonment to assist the very people that were responsible for it, the irony was not lost on her in the slightest. She clenched her fists, skin chaffing against the manacles that bound her. It would serve them all right if she forced herself free and hexed their stupid tower a new one. It would certainly make her feel good. But it wouldn't do anything to ease her overall predicament. Three months cooling her heels in a prison cell that was very effective at deflecting her special brand of black magic had taught her something nothing else had—H.I.V.E. didn't care about her anymore. And she had burned a bridge with the Titans to boot. Surely H.I.V.E. would've sent _someone _to break her out, or the Titans would've used some influence to get her a suspended sentence. But ever since her confinement, there had been no visitors, no communications, not even a cake with a file in it. And then _he _had to come and show up and offer her a chance to do something. Smiling confidently through that stupid mask of his, offering her some fresh air, a change of scenery, something to _do—_and all he wanted was for her to accompany him back to their stupid tower and be on standby as some kind of insurance policy.

Jinx sighed loudly, the bindings on her wrists rattling loudly with her animations. It had been such an enticing offer. One night, even one night away from that torturous cell was worth almost anything, she had thought. And now that she was here, it was nearly as boring as prison. They wouldn't let her do _anything. _Not even watch TV under guard.

"Something wrong, Jinx?" Robin asked, inclining his head in her direction.

"You could at least let me do something." She moaned. "This is more boring than those rehabilitation films they force us to watch in prison."

"Actions have consequences." Robin told her. "You're here because we have a use for you and your recent prison record shows there's some hope you might pursue other interests."

"And you call yourself a hero. You could at least have undone these stinking cuffs now that I'm here. They're digging into my skin like leeches. Trust me, I'm not stupid enough to take all three of you on, plus the gloomy chick can't be far away. And I'm not naïve enough to think that even if I somehow beat all four of you I would get more than two lengths down the hallway without running into traps and defenses you've outfitted to resist my charms. You never would have let me in here otherwise unless you were desperate." Jinx sniffed. "And you're not desperate."

"All the same, I think we'll keep you the way you are, Jinx. Trust has to be earned."

"Does it matter, bird brain? It's common sense!" It doesn't matter whether we trust each other or not. The fact of the matter is that even if I was dumb enough to try something I'd get squashed like a bug! You could at least do me some common courtesy!"

Robin made a show of pondering her request. "Common courtesy…I guess it's a good thing you're uncommon."

"But I've helped you before!"

"Yes, you have. That doesn't excuse the shoplifting spree you went on at the mall."

"So I was blowing off steam!"

"Nice way of going about it."

"Look, we were downtown, having a nice lunch at this great little bistro. Here I am, the city's cutest little hearththrob, out with one of the biggest hunks around, and the jerk is sitting there, totally staring down our waitress' shirt, right in front of me! I mean, who does Flash think he is? And then he tries to deny he's been doing it when I call him on it! I was so angry, I decided I would show him a thing or two!"

"So in your frustration and grief, you wandered down to the mall and held up seventeen different stores and hexed the fountain and the escalators."

"Old habits, alright! Look, it was stupid, I admit it. I didn't exactly fight when the authorities arrived. Better to be caught by the ridiculous cops than to have you guys come down on me."

"I wouldn't have been too pleased. I'll give you one bonus point for ending it yourself."

"How generous." Jinx snorted. "I thought that maybe a little criminal activity would revive H.I.V.E.'s interest in me."

"You sided against them in battle, remember? With us?"

"And look what I get for my trouble. None of you even bothered checking up on me!"

Robin shook his head. "I really wanted to think you were changing, Jinx. But you can't just explain stuff like this away."

"I said I'm sorry! Look, I got angry, and I did something stupid, okay? I was just trying to hurt Flash the way he was hurting me. But…even he didn't come to visit."

"When you've finished serving your time, we'll talk."

"Don't do me any favors." She glared at him angrily.

"You don't want a second chance?"

"I…" She felt like a door was closing on her. Her past was gone, and the future would escape, a chance to be someone would escape…Kid Flash would escape.

"Jinx, if you help us out tonight, I'll make sure you get that second chance if you want it. But you have to want it."

"I'm here, aren't I?" She put on a lopsided grin. "I'll help out. And I won't try anything stupid. So can you let me out of these? Please?"

"For now, they're staying. I'm a little short on people to babysit."

Exasperated, Jinx raised her arms in a classic put-up-your-dukes pose, stretching the chain between her manacles so taut her wrists were screaming for relief. "What's the matter, Robin? Your girlfriend doesn't let you tie her up with handcuffs? I should've known you were the type to enjoy that type of thing."

Starfire temporarily abandoned her post to intervene. "I do not understand where this false idea started, but I can assure you that my boy does not utilize the handcuffs on me as I am not a threat." The red-haired alien grinned widely, floating just slightly off the ground and wrapping an arm possessively around Robin's shoulders.

Robin felt a combination of pride, embarrassment, and a bit of discomfort for having Starfire's considerable strength weighing down on his shoulders unexpectedly. "Erm…thanks Starfire." He smiled sheepishly.

"It was my pleasure to assist." Starfire said happily, always grateful to be praised by her leader.

"Whatever." Jinx rolled her eyes. "Look, can't you let me do anything? A deck of cards? A magazine? Some pots and pans to bang together?"

Robin rubbed his chin, looking up at Starfire. "I suppose we could always just gag her and stick her in the corner until we need her."

Jinx snorted. "Kinky, too." She looked the Boy Wonder over with exaggeration. "Well, I suppose we don't have common goals or values, but there may be _other _things we can come together on."

Robin grabbed her by the ear and began moving her towards the room's closet. "Ow! That hurts! Come on, don't be so rough!" Her eyes went wide when she saw the blackness she was about to be forced into. "Okay, okay! I'm sorry! I'll be good! It was just a joke! Please?"

Robin released her ear and spun her towards him.

"Please? Come on, not the closet, it's dark in there."

"Afraid of the dark?"

"Brother Blood put me in solitary once when I failed…that's enough to make anyone afraid of the dark."

Robin sighed in frustration. "We don't have time to babysit you, Jinx."

"I'll be quiet." She pouted. "Just let me out of these things, please. I'm not kidding, they're scraping me!"

"Toughen up." 

"They _hurt_!"

"Robin…" A voice came tentatively from the middle of the room, where Starfire was standing next to Terra again, both girls staring intently at the exchange. Starfire spoke again now that she had his attention. "I will watch her."

Jinx looked at the Tamaranian powerhouse in shock. "Huh."

Robin said nothing, but seized Jinx's left arm and pulled her towards the girls. "Fine, you two can keep her company." He let go of the hex princess when reaching Starfire, fishing inside of his utility belt and removing the keys. A little more gently, he took Jinx's arm again and fulfilled her desires, unlocking the restraints and removing them. To his surprise, the girl hadn't been lying—her pale skin showed angry red marks on both wrists.

Jinx caught him looking and thrust both her arms towards him. "See! I told you those things were killing me!" She blew on them gently, frowning at the marks that would undoubtedly be left behind.

"Terra, go get some lotion out of the first aid kit." Robin stated to placate the prisoner's whines. "Starfire, watch our guest. If she tries anything, if she even sneezes or breaks wind, I want to know about it immediately."

Jinx alternated rubbing her wrists. "I already told you, what am I going to try? I'm alone, I'm outnumbered, I'm outgunned, I'm not armed, and you've made it clear you can take me back to that horrible place at any time if I don't cooperate. Just because I've done stupid things doesn't mean I'm stupid."

Robin examined the girl with a hard stare. "Then why'd you go backwards? Doing hard time isn't fun when you know no one is coming to bust you out."

"I've still got another six months to go." Jinx moaned.

"And after that?"

"How should I know? Why do you care, anyway?"

"Because I like to offer choices."

"What you want me to join your little jamboree of girl scouts again?"

"You were well on your way to that before and didn't seem to have a problem with it. Why not start by deciding not to do the kinds of things that get you put in jail to begin with?"

"It would be most agreeable if we did not have to meet in battle again." Starfire nodded, wanting to encourage the girl.

"Yeah, well…look, why don't you look me up when they let me out for good and we'll see. I might get a better offer." Robin stared at her and said nothing. Finally, she relented. "I'll try if you'll have me."

"I'll be the one to pick you up when you've finished serving your time."

"First you argue with me, then you ask me out on a date? Maybe you're my type after all."

Robin rolled his eyes and went to check up on Cybrog's work.

Jinx watched the leader of the Titans walk off, shaking her head in confusion and wonder. "Is he always so-?"

"He is Robin." Starfire said. "He always wishes the best for others if they will only make the effort."

"Hmpf." Jinx crossed her arms over her chest, finally smiling when she saw the blonde girl coming back. She quickly snatched the tube of crème before Terra could even finish extending her arm, and practically purred as she rubbed it onto her wrists.

Terra looked at Starfire apprehensively. "Is she alright?"

Jinx responded before the green-eyed girl had a chance. "So I bruise easily." She scoffed, sticking her tongue out. "So what am I doing here, anyway?" Based on the fact two of you are absent and Goldilocks here is new, this isn't a fight. Too bad, I could've used some real exercises."

Terra spoke up. "Robin is going to help me with getting-"

"A good night's sleep every night." Robin stated, interrupting Terra's explanation.

"Huh? But you said-"

"And I meant it. But I think it's best if Jinx doesn't have all the specifics."

Jinx mocked him. "And how am I supposed to help if I don't even know what we're doing? You're supposed to be the brains of the outfit!"

"_We're_ doing something." Robin emphasized. "_You're _the insurance policy in case things go wrong."

Cyborg pulled himself out from beneath the console, checking a few connections. "Besides," he vocalized the thought Robin wasn't saying, "the less the hired help knows, the harder it is for them to be treacherous. Alright, I think we're ready for phase one."

"I'm not being treacherous!" Jinx stamped her foot, but the others continued to act as though she weren't there.

"What's phase one?" Terra asked nervously.

"Phase one is where we scan your brain and see if we can find the memory block."

"Will it hurt?"

Cyborg smiled to her. "Hurt? No, it won't hurt at all. Although it might tickle a little."

"Tickling I can handle." Terra smiled.

"So what should I do?" Jinx asked, following their conversation.

"You should wait for us to call you." Robin told the witch.

Jinx kicked at the floor. "The hospitality in prison is better."

"I could put you in the closet and you can pretend it's your cell." Robin offered.

Almost immediately, Jinx's attitude changed. "No, no, that's quite alright! I think I'll just sit on the floor…over there…out of everyone's way….with Starfire watching me. Yeah, that's it. I've been looking forward to it all week…"

Starfire half-pulled, half-carried the coquettish villainess-turned-heroine-turned-prisoner away from the chair Terra sat down in,. Cyborg lowered a helmet from the top of it and fastened it around the blonde's head. "Okay, Terra. We're going to do a brain scan. We're just going to try and make a map of your mind. I promise no one will do anything until Beast Boy comes back."

"Okay." She held her hands together nervously.

Cyborg and Robin looked at each other. Casually, the dark-skinned man activated the machine, causing the helmet around Terra's head to glow slightly. Almost immediately, data began pouring in from the wires that connected the helmet to the main apparatus, which parsed the information and began constructing a mental map of Terra's head. She grimaced slightly, and Robin reassured her.

"It won't hurt, Terra. Just clear your head and let the helmet probe you. We won't try to reach the locked memories until you're ready."

"It feels like something…rummaging through my head…I'm dizzy."

"Relax." Robin moved closer to her and reached for her hand, squeezing it. "We're here. We won't let anything bad happen to you.

Terra screwed her eyes shut and let the machine have its way.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Seventy-Five minutes later, Terra was not only free of the machine (for the time being), but also indulging in an oven-cooked cheese and macaroni casserole. Beast Boy sat across from her, offering his best support and encouragement.

"Robin and Cyborg said you did great!" The changeling beamed, spooning his would-be girlfriend a second helping and taking a plate for himself as well.

"I just sat there." Terra shrugged, popping another mouthful of the gooey dinner into her mouth. "It felt really weird."

"Did it hurt?" Beast Boy asked with concern.

Terra thought about it for a moment, unsure of the right response. "Not exactly. It didn't hurt per se, but I don't know if I'd want to go through it again."

"It don't think you'll have to. Now that your mind is mapped, we can help find the damaged parts of your memory and help you remember before."

Terra put her spoon down, frowning. "Beast Boy?"

"Yeah?"

"You said…that what I can't remember…I did some bad things."

The green changeling seemed to deflate. Sure, he knew Terra would remember the bad times if they were successful—but she would remember the good times, too. "I, you see, Terra…yeah…" He looked down into his bowl.

"How bad, exactly."

"Terra…"

"Tell me the truth, please."

"Bad." Beast Boy admitted.

"Did I hurt people?" She asked earnestly, afraid to know the truth but feeling she had to.

"You could say that." The green boy failed to meet her gaze.

Terra shut her eyes, afraid she was about to cry. "Then why would I want to remember things like that?"

"Because that's not all there is. We were friends, Terra. We were really good together. It wasn't all bad things. And the good times…they were some of the best memories I have, Terra. The bad stuff, it doesn't matter. We would've moved past all that."

"You're not going to tell me what happened, are you?"

"I don't _care _what happened anymore, Terra. None of us do. Why would any of us want you around so much if we cared about the past."

"Then why do you care if I remember it?" Terra cried. "I'm here now. You claim you once took a chance on whoever I once was. Well I'm willing to take your word for it that this other life happened. Isn't that enough? Why do I have to remember things if they're so terrible?" she pleaded with him like one would pleas for their own freedom. "I don't know anything about this other life you say that I had and I don't want to."

"But it wasn't all bad."

"If it wasn't, then why won't you tell me, really tell me what happened."

"I…" And therein was the problem. He had no real answer to give her. Fortunately, he would be spared having to admit that…for the moment.

"Beast Boy." Robin walked into the kitchen from the stairway, concern evident on his face as well as in his voice.

"Robin?" The Titan in question responded.

"We need to talk about something." The masked lad inclined his head at Terra sheepishly. "In private."

Terra nodded her head. "Should I go?"

"No, wait here." Robin told her. "You and I also need to have a private chat when we're done."

"Okay." She replied nervously, swirling her spoon in her pasta casserole.

Robin wasted no time, pulling Beast Boy into the alcove off of the common room. "We have a problem."

The changeling frowned. "What kind of problem?"

"The brainscan."

"I thought you said you finished it."

"We did."

"So what's the problem?"

"Her brain."

"Say what?"

Robin sighed. "Beast Boy, her brain is…something doesn't add up. Cyborg and I are having trouble sifting her memories. I'm not sure she is blocked."

"So what's the problem?"

"That girl…she may really not be Terra."

"What? You're out of your mind! Come on, of course it's Terra! I _know _Terra. She looks like Terra. She sounds like Terra. She smells like Terra. I don't care what some stupid computer says! I'm telling you, it's her."

"Is it? Or do you just want it to be her?" Robin asked.

"I know the difference between fantasy and reality. I'm telling you, it's her."

Robin said nothing for a moment, letting Beast Boy's declaration speak for itself. "I'm not saying she's not. I can't prove it either way at this point. But we have a hard decision to make here. If I go inside her mind with her to unblock those lose memories, and she doesn't have them because she's not really Terra, then we're putting a lot of anguish on a nice girl for no reason."

"Well that's not going to happen, because it _is_ Terra! I'll swear it in a court of law!"

"So lets say she is, and we find those memories, and we unblock them. She's happy now, Beast Boy. Do you really think she still will be when she remembers being Slade's apprentice?"

"What about the good times? She was more than just Slade's plaything, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was. That's why we tried to reach her even when she seemed intent on killing us."

"Robin…"

"Beast Boy, what I'm saying is…this is starting to feel more and more like a lose-lose situation."

"But…we might be able to help her get her powers back. She could be a Titan again!"

"What if it isn't her?"

"Then where did her statue go? I don't know what's happened to Terra since we last saw her, but I won't write her off!"

"Okay." Robin breathed. "But whatever we do next, it has to be her decision. Let me talk to her. I want to try a few things."

"You're not giving up, are you?"

"No. I'm going to try everything I can to get more information before we commit to doing or not doing anything."

Beast Boy's frustration couldn't be more evident, but Robin had promised he wasn't giving up. For now, he would take comfort in that. "You believe me, right?"

Robin offered him a soft look. "I believe that you believe it's her. That means something. But I also know how much you want it to be her. I'd rather not decide whether she is or isn't without better information to go on. But I will do everything in my power to prove it one way or the other. Even if she isn't Terra, these coincidences are entirely too big to be explained away. If it truly isn't the Terra we know, someone's playing a game with us. And I think we both know who likes to play games."

If he had looked concerned before, he was downright crestfallen now. "No…Slade."

"Exactly."

"You can't let him have her again, Robin!"

Robin placed a hand on his friend's shoulder and spoke with confidence. "_We_ won't."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

When Robin moved back to the kitchen, he found Terra sitting at the table by herself, the lighting dimmed. She stared into the bowl of cooling food, looking through it rather than at it. Beast Boy had gone upstairs to check out the brainscan, leaving the leader of the Titans alone to talk with the troubled girl.

"Terra?" He asked gently, putting some water on to boil and taking the seat directly across from her.

She looked up, here beautiful, doe like eyes moist. She was holding back tears. Robin normally kept himself emotionally neutral to most crises, even among his team. Being supportive was important, and he always tried to do that. But he couldn't afford to become too attached to any of them—split second decisions in battle could just as easily result in him having to leave one of them in harm's way.

Terra, however, was not a part of the team. She had been, once. Or the other Terra had. She was one of the better things to have happened to them. And also one of the worst. Still, in spite of everything, Robin couldn't bring himself to harbor anger against her. She had been his responsibility. He should have been able to reach her. He'd been through what she was going through, been a puppet for Slade. Terra represented one of his two greatest failures as leader of the Titans, something that still kept him awake some nights. If she was back, it meant more than a second chance for her. It meant a second chance for _himself_.

"I thought I knew who I was." She sniffed, struggling so hard not to let the tears come.

"You do know." Robin told her.

"But everyone keeps saying that this isn't who I am. But they're not me. You're not me."

"I know."

"So why shouldn't I just run away? You can't keep me here!"

"If you really want to leave, we won't stop you. You're not a prisoner."

"I want to leave." She wiped her arm across her eyes. "I just want to go back to school and see my friends and pretend that we never met." She finally pushed the food away from her, not being able to look at it any longer. "But every time I try to, something stops me. I don't know what it is, I don't know how I let it get this far. I keep thinking that Beast Boy is crazy…but then there's this voice whispering inside me that keeps saying to listen to him. That he's telling the truth. I just…I just want to know who I am! Do you have any idea what it's like to wake up in the morning in the place you think you've always known and suddenly be afraid that it's a lie? That nothing in your life is real?"

"I want to know who you are too." Robin answered as the kettle began to whistle. Standing up, he took it off the burner, then opened the cabinet and rummaged in Raven's stash of tea. Idly, Robin wondered if she actually counted the bags. If so, there would probably be hell to pay later. Regardless, he helped himself to two servings, and placed each bag into a mug.

"You said you knew who I was." Terra asked, now more confused than ever.

The masked teen placed a mug in front of her, then added sugar to his own before proffering it to the blonde. She accepted gratefully, it was as though something hot and relaxing was exactly what she needed. "Could I have some cream?"

One hand on the back of his chair, Robin spun around, opening the fridge and removing the small cruet of half-and-half kept on hand for coffee. He placed it in front of the girl, shutting the fridge and sliding into his chair in one fluid motion. "I thought I did."

Terra added a few dollops of cream to her beverage and stirred with the spoon from her bowl, blowing on the tea and then taking a sip. She instantly felt the warmth spread into her throat like an embrace, and was grateful for Robin's keen observation. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I." Robin shrugged his shoulders. "We did the brainscan. But we're having trouble pinpointing any definitive memory blocks."

"So what does that mean?"

"There's more. Everything seems too organized, too…artificial. Typically, a brain is like a messy room. Everything's in there and you generally know where to find it, but it's not exactly organized and alphabetized. Your mind is…very organized. It's like looking through a filing cabinet."

"So, you mean I'm not her? This other Terra?"

"Actually, I'm not certain. There are a lot of possibilities. I didn't want to tell Beast Boy exactly what was on my mind until I can be more certain."

"Can you tell me? Please, Robin, I need to know who I am!"

"That's what we're going to find out." Robin took a sip of his own tea, rubbing his chin in thought. "Alright, I can give you a basic rundown."

"Please!" Terra insisted.

"The first one would be what we initially were expecting. That you really are Terra, our Terra, the one we keep talking about. That somehow your memories were blocked, or overwritten, or something."

"That's what Beast Boy keeps saying."

"And he may be right. But he may not be either. We'll have to find out."

"So what else could it be?"

"Well, you could just be a schoolgirl who happens to look incredibly like our Terra. Identically like her. But unless you have a long lost twin sister, or an evil twin, I'm kind of ruling that one out. There are too many other coincidences that I can't just ignore."

"Okay." Terra breathed, drinking more of her tea. "So, let's say for a minute that it's not a coincidence, but I'm not your Terra either. Then who the heck am I?"

"If that turns out to be the case, I'd rather not say."

Terra stood up, knocking her chair away. "Don't play games! Tell me the truth! I need to know who I am!" She yelled, and tears finally broke through her fragile visage. "I need to know, please…I'd rather know I was some kind of monster and be sure of it than question everything I've ever known for the rest of my life."

"Terra…"

"Please…don't do this to me. It's my life, Robin. It's my choice."

"You…she…she wasn't a monster."

"Beast Boy said that she…that I…did bad things. Really, really bad things. I need to know the truth. Why won't any of you tell me?"

"She was our friend. Those bad things…she didn't do them because she was born that way. She didn't start out trying to hurt…she was just…slowly made into one. I should have stopped it. I should have seen the warning signs and pulled her back."

"Pulled her back from what? Robin, please…"

Clutching the mug so tight he was afraid it would break, Robin downed most of the tea in one gulp and stood up. "Come on, there are some things I should show you." He took her hand and led her upstairs.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Robin walked down the dark hallways briskly, Terra in tow. They marched through the general living areas and beyond the series of bedrooms that each one of the Titans had made into their own personal refuge, before finally reaching the end of the hall. Yellow police tape had been across the door, but sometime recently, it appeared to have been cut.

Robin sighed. "Looks like Beast Boy has been busy."

"With what?" Terra questioned.

"After we lost you…her…"

"Robin?"

"Yeah."

"For now, just act as though I'm her. It's okay. If it turns out I'm not, we'll go from there."

The masked lad nodded, squeezing her hand once before letting go. "After we lost you, we did a meticulous search over your room to make certain there wouldn't be any unpleasant surprises. Once we were satisfied that it was clear, we all worked to put your room back to the way it was when you were still living here, with us. We got it as close as possible, anyway. Beast Boy was a lot of help. And then I had it sealed."

"You were trying to preserve it."

"We all cared about you, Beast Boy most of all." Robin explained. I didn't want your room or your memories to become some kind of storage dump. And I didn't want to get it all messy. For awhile, Beast Boy used to come in here on his own. He wanted to be close to you. I let him for awhile. But I had to help him move on. All of us have lost people in our lives before. Just because you go on with life, doesn't mean you forget that person or stop caring. I just felt it was time. I sealed the room so that we would always have a reminder."

"It was nice of you to do that for him, to preserve his memories of me. Thank you."

"It wasn't just for him." Robin explained. "Or you. My room is on the other side of the hall, we passed it a few moments ago. I see this sealed door every day. It's a reminder of my own mistakes. So that I never make them again. You needed more help, Terra. And I should have given it. But I was too busy obsessing over someone else to see what should have been so clear. How many times did you beg each of us to save you?"

"I did?"

"Not with words." Robin told her. "Come on. Let's see if anything triggers a memory." Robin showed her inside, flicking on the light switch. He crossed over to the closet, where the few articles of clothing Terra had owned remained. Carefully, he removed a pair of her customary shorts and black top from a hanger, placing them onto a bed, and took a pair of earth tone shoes out of a rack on the floor.

"Were those…mine?"

"Yes. I thought it was time to try it. Why don't you get undressed?"

Terra gripped the hem of her skirt, stepping backwards. "Um…"

Robin blanched. "I mean, out of that outfit and into this one. Not with me here!" He waved his arms in front of his face. "I, uh, have some stuff I need to show you from the evidence room. So I'll just go and get them while you, y'know…"

For the first time that day, Terra laughed, the tension around her finally being broken. "Robin, it's fine. If I had thought you were some kind of sexual predator, I wouldn't be walking down dark hallways alone with you."

Robin cocked an eyebrow. "Sexual predator?"

"Hey, I've seen those shows on TV. Aren't you going to ask me to get in your van?" She giggled, pushing him backwards playfully until he was standing outside the room. "Go get what you need, I'll be ready when you get back." She smirked, the door sliding shut in front of Robin as if to punctuate her statement.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The trip to the Evidence Room had been another walk down Memory Lane. Especially when Robin took hold of the box he was about to bring to Terra. Losing one member of his team to his greatest adversary was a failing Robin had to face every day. Nearly losing a second one…that was something he wasn't willing to consider. Much like with Terra, it still hurt inside to think of how truly and utterly he had failed Raven, to see her stop fighting the destiny that had been gnawing at her, for her to be so accepting of the end of herself, let alone the fate of their world. He had gotten his second chance, after that. He had been able to go after her, rescue her, make a difference. Robin had been lucky, and he remembered that every day. Those kinds of chances rarely came along in life. For him, it might be happening twice.

Robin returned to Terra's room with the box as well as a manila folder containing some photographs he had taken. Maybe something could be brought out in the girl to determine the truth about her. Hoping that this would give him the lead he needed, the leader of the Titans thumbed the door chime to announce his presence.

Inside, Terra was standing in front of the mirror, examining her new attire. It felt comfortable, agreeable even. But she didn't feel anything special. It was more like a new look she was only just discovering. Intrigued, she struck a few poses, trying to make herself appear heroic. "Just a minute!" She called to the door when she heard the buzzer, finally deciding to untuck the shirt from the shorts, and tighten the laces on the shoes. The gloves that had been tucked in the short pockets remained on the bed. For some reason, she just wasn't sure about putting them on.

Smiling, Terra opened the door, leaning against the frame slightly after it slid open. "Well?" She asked, running a hand through her hair nervously. The effect was enough to cause the hero to take a step backwards.

"My God, you could be her twin." He said quietly, but it was easily heard by the girl.

"Or I could be her." She spoke softly. "Maybe I am." Her voice dropped. "If I'm not, maybe if you wish hard enough, I can be."

"If you aren't, none of us would ever try to make you into her. No matter what, you should be yourself."

"Robin…were you and me…her…close?"

"No." Robin told her gently but firmly, not wanting her to feel rejected but also worried she would get the wrong idea. "You and Beast Boy were the close ones." He smiled. "We were friends."

"He is kind of cute." She smiled. "I just…you're going to so much effort, and…you always seem to know what to say. So I guess I thought…"

"Hey," Robin smiled. "I think your life is getting complicated enough right now. Why don't we find out the answer before you start worrying over who's taking you to the prom?"

"Okay." She giggled, and Robin mussed her hair playfully.

"Alright, so I took some photos from the tapes of a training session you once did with us. Pretty impressive stuff." He opened the folder and passed several photographs to the girl, action shots of her acrobatic skill, her ability to move rock and earth, battle stances she had adapted.

"This was me?"

"Yes. You were a pretty impressive girl. Your powers were incredible. You…ah…well, you had a little trouble controlling them sometimes."

"Did I hurt anyone?" She asked worriedly.

"A little. When you lost control, things kind of got, um, big. See, turns out that was the entire problem. You didn't want anyone to know you didn't have the control, and because of a misunderstanding, you ran away from us and to…someone else."

"Who?"

"Someone bad." Robin clenched a fist.

"Is this about the bad things I did?" Terra asked, shaking a bit.

"Yeah."

"What did I do?"

"It's…complicated."

"Robin! I'm tired of this, no one will give me straight answers! What happened? What did I do?"

"You secretly went to work for one of our greatest enemies while pretending to be on our side. It was a daring plan. A bomb planted right into the heart of our infrastructure and set to detonate at the worst possible time."

"Robin…why did I…"

"You were scared, you were confused, you were hurt. Look Terra, whatever happened back then, there was something with you. It was bigger than us. Bigger than Slade."

"Slade?" The word came off of her tongue with hatred. Maybe, just maybe, it was something.

"Yes. Things are never easy when it comes to him. Everything is like some kind of elaborate chess game, back and forth. I would say that the only way to win is to not play, and if we don't, he'll only keep putting innocent people in danger." Robin fingered the box, opening the lid carefully and removing one of Slade's masks he made sure to keep track of. "This is one of his masks. You worked for him. So I was hoping, if you are her, maybe it would trigger something."

Terra breathed shallow, taking hold of the talisman Robin pushed towards her. She hated it. She did recognize it, not from memory, but like an echo. A stone thrown into the pool of her mind, its effects rippling outwards. Hesistantly, she traced the contours, the way it curved, the way it seemed to stare back without needing to be worn. She began to shake her head, screwing her eyes shut and letting the mask clatter to the floor.

"Terra!" Robin asked with concern. "Do you remember something? Anything?"

"I…I don't know. It's not so much a memory as a feeling." She kept her eyes shut, her voice whispering as though she might be overheard by someone other than Robin. "I don't know where, but I've seen that face somewhere before."

"In your memories?" Robin pressed.

"In my mind." She covered her face with her hands.

Robin felt sorry for her, truly. Having Slade on the mind was something no one should have to go through. Too often, he himself was obsessed with the malicious gamemaster. Slade liked to play five and six moves ahead, Robin strove to always stay at least half that far ahead. But no one should have to give a sick mind like Slade's more than a passing thought. "There's one more thing I think I should show you."

The girl's entire body seemed to tense at that idea. "Please Robin, no more."

"It's not my intention to hurt you, but I think this is important. I won't force you…but I am asking you."

"It's important?"

"It's the reason why Beast Boy was so adamant about you to start with. It's why I decided to try to find out the truth. It's not just about him, or me, or the Titans…it's about you."

"Alright." Terra sniffed, pulling down on her shirt, tugging at the hem for support. "Show me."

Robin nodded. "We eventually caught up to both you and Slade. You began to realize that we weren't the ones you should be fighting. You turned on him. He almost destroyed everything, but in the end, because of you, we won. It wouldn't have happened without you. In the end, when we needed you, you came back to us. What was it that Starfire said? 'You were punished too much for doing too little.' I don't think any of us could have put it better." Robin stated, pulling another photograph from the folder—taken after the battle with Slade had ended

Terra stared, fingers trembling, as she took the picture into her hands, looking at it in detail, the image of her own stone visage staring back at her. "Oh my god." She breathed. "It's me, isn't it?"

"Until Beast Boy found you recently…this was the last time we saw you. The amount of power you unleashed to save our tower and prevent catastrophic destruction, it was too much for you, would've been too much for anyone. No one knows for sure what happened. But it didn't kill you. Or maybe it would have. Our best guess is that you did it to yourself."

"Myself?"

"Underground earthquake. Falling rocks. Lava. There were too many things certain to kill you, but you stayed behind and gave it your all. We think you might have turned your powers on yourself in the end in an effort to save yourself. Being turned to stone is a pretty terrible thing, but it still beats being dead." Robin explained. We decided to make you into a monument of sorts. I probably should have visited more often, but it wasn't exactly easy to get down there.

"So if this happened…how did I get out?" Terra asked, afraid to know the answer.

"No one knows." Robin stated. "This is why Beast Boy is so certain it's you. And I've begun to have the same suspicion." He handed her one last photo, taken much more recently. "Beast Boy decided to visit your memorial after he saw you. He had to know the truth."

Terra looked in shock as she saw the absence of the statue girl that occupied the other picture, an eerie before and after. She couldn't hold it back anymore, and dropping the pictures she cried, clutching onto him like he was a log keeping her from being swept into the undertow. Robin stiffened at first, afraid of getting too close, of confusing her even further, but it was clear in that moment that she just needed to feel safe, that she needed someone to hold onto. He had failed her once before. He would not do so again. "It's alright. Just relax, don't let it overwhelm you."

"What can I do, Robin?" She sniffed, trying to regain her composure and beginning to sob a second time. "If I'm not her, then who am I?"

"I don't know." Robin admitted, hating to tell her the truth, knowing he couldn't afford not to. "If you are her, the one thing that everyone has to recognize, including yourself, is that you aren't anymore."

"But if I am her, then whoever I am now…I'm false. I don't want to be a ghost living her life."

"Then let's find out the truth. There is a way, I'm hoping."

"How?"

"I can go into your mind, with you. Raven can meld our minds together. If the memories of the other Terra are there, together we can find them. But it's up to you."

"I said before I was willing to try."

"That was before we gave you part of the bigger picture."

"If she's buried in there, and we bring her out, what will happen to me?" Terra asked, knowing the answer to the question but needing to hear it.

"There can only be one of you." Robin told her. "Otherwise your mind would fracture. One of you will have to yield…or, perhaps, you can merge."

"Will she hurt me?"

"I can't pretend to be you…either of you. But I think you might be able to help each other."

"Will you and Beast Boy be with me?"

"Yes."

Terra shut her eyes again, finding her center. "Then I will try. I have to know. I don't want to live a lie…even a pleasant one is a nightmare if I know that none of it is true."

"You're a brave girl, Terra." Robin smiled, pulling back to look into her eyes/ "We'll find the truth, no matter what it takes."

Terra squeezed him tighter for a moment before letting go. "Careful, I might hold you to that."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven answered the knock on her door with a lot of aggravation. She was deep in research and hated to be disturbed at times like this—it was very easy to lose your place in a scroll and have to start all over again. "Yes?" She asked, her voice indicating that she was busy but also assuming that the interruption was warranted.

Robin delivered his news without delay. "Terra's decided. We're going to try linking minds to see if the memories of our Terra are there to find."

Raven slid her door open fully. "You'd better come in."

"I thought you hated people coming in=="

Raven fixed him with a glare that indicated she was in to mood for taunts or word games and got straight to the point as Robin entered and the door shut behind him. "Are you sure about this?"

"She deserves the truth, one way or another. I wish I could send Beast Boy, he's the one who deserves this, but if anything happens, I'm the only one of us I'm willing to put at risk inside of her mind."

"Are you sure this is how you want to proceed?"

"I'm not willing to come this far and not see it through to the end."

Raven looked at him intently, trying to find the right words. "What you're asking of me is difficult. And dangerous."

"I can handle it."

"You probably can. But what you need to understand is if you do this, you might not come out the same person."

Robin's eyes widened behind his mask. "What do you mean."

"If you link your mind with Terra's, the two of you will merge into a shared consciousness. All her knowledge, all her feelings, all her secrets…they'll be open and exposed to you. And yours to her. The sharing of minds on this kind of level…it's intimate. She might learn things you don't want her too.

"I'll keep her focus on the task, push my secrets awy."

"You can try. But understand the consequences. The two of you will be bonded in a way that is very intimate and lasting. You can't go backwards from something like this."

Robin looked at the gothic sorceress closely, so she would know he was being serious. "You joined our minds once."

"It's not the same." Raven shook her head. "What I did was much less powerful, not nearly so deep. I couldn't have joined us further than I did. The darkness inside of me would've tried to take you, and I might not have been able to protect you from it."

"I'm not letting go of her, Raven."

"You feel responsible."

"How am I ever supposed to stop thinking about the things I could've done, would've tried, should've seen…I'm not just going to walk away from a second chance. Whatever it takes."

"Even if you lose yourself?"

"I walked the line for you, Raven."

"I know that."

"I've got to walk it for her, too. I'll be okay. I promise."

"This is about more than being okay, Robin. I want you to be you. All of us do."

"I am being me. That's why I can't just sit back and do nothing when she needs my help. It's not fair to her. We owe her that much."

"Is it fair to Beast Boy that you'll become closer to her than him? Is it fair to Starfire that you'll be that intimate with another girl? Is it fair to-?" She stopped, unwilling to complete the thought. A cornucopia of emotions were all vying to speak their mind, and that was something she wouldn't allow to happen.

"Talk to me, Raven. I know things got particularly nasty between you and Terra back then."

"She fooled everyone so easily. But I never let go of all my suspicions. Not when she was using her powers so well."

"We saw what we wanted to see."

"Perhaps." Raven admitted. "But I was never very close to her. In a way, I guess that makes me partly to blame."

Robin started. "You blame yourself too?"

"I didn't give her a reason to betray us." Raven explained. "But at the same time, I didn't give her a reason not to. In rhe end, I was a poor friend. And she knew it. If I had known, I would have done things differently. I could have been a better friend. I should have gotten the truth about her powers."

"See? I'm not the only one with regrets."

"That doesn't make your intentions any less foolish."

"It'll be all right, Raven. I won't let anything change me. I promise. Please. I need your help to make this happen."

"Robin, what you're asking me to do is too much. I carry enough with me every day as it is. I don't want to be responsible for losing you."

"You won't lose me."

"It's a lot easier than you think."

"Raven…please. I need your help. I'm not asking you as a fellow Titan. I'm asking you as a friend. Help me. Help me to help her."

Raven visibly stiffened. "If you order me to do this, Robin, I will do it. But don't ask this of me as your friend. And as your friend, I can't willing put you in this situation."

"I promised her, Raven. What else would you have me do?"

"Something else."

"We've done all we can without getting to the root of the problem. I'm taking the bull by the horns. It's my call. My prerogative."

"I'm begging you to reconsider this, Robin. For the sake of the others it will effect if not your own."

"You won't help me, as a friend?"

"As a friend, I am helping you, Robin."

The masked boy sighed. He hated arguing with the people he cared about. "Fine. Then I'm ordering you to assist me as the leader of the Teen Titans. I need you upstairs in half an hour."

Raven had always prided herself on keeping her emotions behind a mask, but the look of hurt that lingered on her face for several seconds was unmistakable. She turned her back on him, fearing that this might be the last conversation she would have with him before he fundamentally changed. She struggled to find something to say to reach him, but their mutual stubbornness was like a barrier that neither could overcome. If she were more like Starfire, she could have reached out for him. If she were more like Terra, she would have asked him not to do this. If she were honest with herself, she should have never let it get this far. "Understood." She said quietly, shutting her eyes and refusing to meet his gaze yet desperately wanting to.

Raven remained like that until she heard the door open and shut, marking Robin's exit. She knew in her heart that she should have said _something_. But what would she, what could she have said?

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

_Author's Notes_

I'm absolutely exhausted from penning this. Before I started, I had the entire Terra backstory in my head. It was simple, and easy, and I thought that tackling it would be a great way to simultaneously tell the blonde girl's story as well as loop back into the conflicts of Raven's character. Seemed like a slam dunk to me.

Nearly nine thousand words later, and I'm still not there. This entire chapter simply bled out of me with almost no control. I came to realize that this deals with more than just Terra. It's the instrumentality of her character combined with the people around her. There were so many raw emotional thoughts that came to me as I tried to put myself in the position of different characters, things I'd never even considered before. And so this thing just became the gift that keeps on giving, growing ever longer but also showing me more about the cast than I could have considered otherwise. Long update is long, but I like to entertain the notion that it's also something worth reading.

If for some reason there's some confusion, this entire chapter, and likely the next one as well, is a giant flashback going back a few years. Hence why I gave the hint that Robin/Starfire is still going on earlier in the chapter. Eventually, I'll get around to telling how that changed, but this Terra flashback is already going on for much, much longer than I intended. So once Terra's finished, I think I'll be telling some more parts of the main storyline first. It's kind of a strange case where I know where I'm going and what I'm doing with this story, but as far as how I'm telling it, I'm making it up as I go along. Bear with my, pardon our dust, and all that jazz. Techne, my muse, is much more into the emotionally driven material than she is about presentation, so I'm just kind of muddling through. Thanks for being understanding.

So, it's like 7AM, I've literally been up all night, and I'm about to keel over. This is the end of the line for now. I need to upload this and go crawl into bed. Special thanks to those of you that reviewed the first chapter—the encouragement is a big help. I know there's tens of thousands of fics to read…you took the time to look at mine, and for that, I'm quite grareful. I hate to beg for reviews, but really, let me know how I'm doing people. I'm sure it can always be better, and I'm always willing to take generally constructive criticism.

If you're so inclined, you may also reach out to me via e-mail or AIM. As always, I remain:

Lord Malachite

8/19/11

6:59AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26

Private Messaging always open, always accepted


	3. The Human Stain: When The Past Is A Pres

Chapter Three: The Human Stain, Part Two: When The Past Is A Present

It was with trepidation yet purpose that Raven followed her most recent order. A wide range of emotions carried their voices in her head and she did her best to set them aside. Emotions were already running high between Beast Boy, Terra, and Robin regarding the blonde and what her fate might me. Bringing her own into the situation could only result in chaos.

Still, Robin could be so stubborn when he decided on something. Especially when he felt that things were at stake. He still blamed himself for Terra becoming a pawn of Slade. And what was more frightening was that he didn't bother denying it. Mistakes were something that he hated. But he was far more forgiving of her and the other members of the team than he ever was of himself. Part of her understood. You can't help someone else's mistakes, and the five of them worked coherently as a team. It was rare that something negative occurred where the blame fell squarely on any of them.

But Robin carried every mistake, every failure with him as though it was a cross to bear. Herself, Raven knew the value of learning from one's mistakes. Robin took it to a new extreme. And it seemed to be compounded with Terra. Indeed, the dichotomy was a bit striking. The Terra they had originally encountered was fun loving and projected confidence even when she wasn't feeling it. She played well with the team, and that had made her easy to accept. And easy for her to betray.

This new Terra was different. She was tearful and afraid. Indeed, Raven even felt a little sorry for the girl. She had been better off in ignorance. For whatever reason, she had been given a new life. Who were they to interrupt it? Now, Raven could sense the girl's roiling emotions through her empathy. Nothing like the time they had clashed in battle, Terra was now frightened and insecure, and she was latching onto Robin in a manner that Raven wasn't sure was entirely healthy. There was not the slightest doubt in Raven's mind that joining their two psyches together would fundamentally change the Boy Wonder. And there would be no reset button. There was no greater form of unity than what the two were about to share. Physical love, sex, was a poor substitute for literally being inside of someone's consciousness, touching the private, intimate parts of one another's minds in a way that would be otherwise impossible.

It was not something Raven would normally recommend even among two people who were both physically and emotionally bonded already. To do what Robin intended now with a girl as potentially unstable as Terra was simply unthinkable. How could he be so reckless? The thought of what was about to occur caused a tightness in her chest. He was going away from them, from her…and what would he become when he came out of the bond?

Raven carried herself with renewed purpose when she entered the room where final preparations were taking place. Robin was her friend. She had to get him to listen to her. Fortunately, her eyes saw a potential ally in the debate, hovering excitedly around the throne like chair Terra was currently sitting in.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Starfire seemed to be positively glowing, circling Terra excitedly. "You will see Friend Terra! Robin will help you bring your memories back, and we will all be proper friends again! I will be sure to make a large bowl of Pudding of Remembrance, so that we may all tell stories of the good times we shared and the ones we will soon be able to make."

Terra arched an eyebrow, looking confused, while Cyborg stayed out of Starfire's vision and made a silent gagging gesture to indicate what he thought of Starfire's cooking. The effect caused the younger girl to giggle. "I hope we have something to celebrate, Starfire."

Beast Boy squeezed her hand. "Of course we will Terra. No matter what, we won't give up on you."

"Thank you." She told him earnestly, kissing the green animorph's cheek.

"No problem!" Beast Boy blushed, looking as though he were about to melt. It was a sight that made a warm, pleasant feeling spread throughout Robin. Terra was denied that chance to be truly happy once before. If he could truly bring her back, maybe this time, that couple could finally be allowed to grow healthily.

Cyborg finished fine-tuning the mental map that had been created earlier in the day. "Okay, I think we're all set on this end. We're going to hook you up again, but this time, the machine is just going to track where you and Robin go in your mind and monitor the activity. The rest will be up to you." He explained.

"You mean this thing can't just…make me remember?" Terra asked.

"Not exactly. We might be able to help the process along if we find what we're looking for, but I don't think it's a good idea to start randomly peeling away at your mind." He smiled.

"Thanks." Terra nodded, grateful at how everyone was treating her with care.

Robin spoke up. "It's okay to be scared. But don't let it overwhelm you. Remember, I'll be with you inside every step of the way. And everyone else will be right here while it's happening. If anything looks like it's going wrong. Raven will terminate the link."

Jinx sat dejectedly in a folding chair several feet away. "I've been good _and_ quiet." She pleaded her case. "Now can you please tell me what we're doing?"

Robin sighed, glancing at Cyborg, who shrugged as though it didn't matter to him. "We're helping an old friend." Robin told the pink haired witch.

"And where do I fit in?" she asked earnestly. "Let me do _something_."

"I figured you'd just be happy to get out of prison for one night." Robin admonished. "I told you earlier, I brought you as insurance. There's a few variables at work here none of us can be completely certain of. I'm hoping you'll be able to stop things at a moment's notice if we need it."

Jinx cocked half a smile. "So you'll fight bad luck with bad luck?"

"Something like that."

"At least I have something to do. I guess that means I'm on standby?"

"Right."

Jinx blew out a breath, which traveled upwards, mottling her already disheveled hairdo. "It still beats a night in jail. Just say when." She resigned herself to having a minimal role. It was so frustrating to not be taken seriously, but the Titans were her best chance at making something of herself. She had worked on honing her powers for too long to rot away doing nothing. And, she had to admit, it was something of a rush to be one of the good guys back when the Brotherhood of Evil was rising. She still wanted to wipe that arrogant smirk off of Madame Rouge's face. Sometimes, she hesitated. But maybe she really could have done a lot better as a heroine all alone.

Robin looked over to see that Starfire and Raven had stepped aside for a private conversation. Grimacing, he had a pretty good idea what it was about.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Starfire, talk to him. You two are close. He'll listen to you." Raven pleaded.

"I do not understand why I should dissuade Robin from helping our friend." The orange skinned Tamaranian continued to look puzzled. "Is he not doing a good thing for Terra?"

"I'm all for helping Terra." Raven explained. "But this is a very intimate thing Robin is about to do." Raven tried to explain.

"I understand. But we must let him try."

"This is someone we know, Starfire. And he's going to join with her. Would you feel the same way if Robin and I were to do the same thing."

"If it were necessary for either of you, I would understand. I trust Robin. He feels that this is what he must do. It would be wrong of me to hold him back from this. I understand that this means that Robin will become close with another girl. But I cannot believe that he would no longer desire me to be his mate because of this. The hurt it would cause to Beast Boy would be great."

"That's one of the things I'm worried about." Raven said. "This could change everything, Starfire. When a man and a woman share their bodies with each other, it creates a bond that can't ever be undone even if they later part ways. Try to imagine how much stronger that bond is when sharing mind and heart. The things you take away from each other, they can change you."

Starfire nodded, showing apprehension but refusing to back down. "I understand what you are saying. You are a good friend, Raven. To both Robin and myself. Now we both must be good friends to him…and trust him. I know that you will take care of both Robin and Terra when you aid their joining. I trust Robin. And I also trust you." The alien placed a hand on her shoulder.

Raven felt a degree of shock at what her friend had admitted so freely. Starfire _was_ scared. But she was willing to trust.

"Raven." Robin walked over to the girl, taking her right hand in his and gently lacing fingers, the material of his gloves feeling tight and slick against her daintier skin. "I'll be okay. Trust me not to be lost…and trust yourself to pull me back."

Something inside of Raven seemed to click. His earnest plea for help, the strength and gentleness of his hand in hers, his desire to make a difference…these were the things that had caused her to confide in him when Slade's had first returned as Trigon's herald. Robin had trusted her to the end, believed in her through it all, even when she had stopped believing that she could be anything more than the embodiment of a dark prophecy. This time, it was Robin asking her for the power to help someone else. How could she go on denying him? "Don't get too comfortable with her." Raven told him sarcastically. "You'll make Beast Boy jealous." It was hard to see unless you knew what to look for, but to Robin, there was no mistaking her wry smile and sarcastic joke.

"I won't." He said, placing a hand over his heart in a kind of mock seriousness. "I'm not that kind of guy."

Starfire wrapped him in a hug, "You will be careful." Her words were posed as something halfway between a question and a command.

"Very." Robin smiled for her.

Cyborg wheeled a stretcher borrowed from the medical bay towards the chair Terra sat in. "Okay, Robin, you lie here and we'll strap Terra in. Then we let Raven do her thing."

Terra nervously spoke. "I'm afraid."

"I know." Robin told her gently, hopping onto the stretcher, he pulled off his gloves, grateful that Beast Boy had taken her hand and was gently rubbing it. "We're here for you. We're going to help." He laid back as the stretcher was wheeled directly next to the chair. Reluctantly, Beast Boy released her hand, and Cyborg strapped the girl's arms and wrists in place.

"We just want to make sure that you don't start going wild on this end, or fall out. If you and Robin succeed, all those memories coming back might be a little overwhelming."

"Here." Robin stated, letting his arm dangle off the stretched next to her left arm. "Take my hand. No matter what happens to either of us in your mind, don't forget that it's all in your head. I'm right here."

Terra had little room to maneuver, but she was easily able to grasp Robin's proffered hand, grateful for something to hold onto. "Thank you."

"Just relax, Terra." Robin advised her. "Raven?"

The sorceress' cloak billowed behind her as she stood at the head of the stretcher, placing her right hand on Robin's forehead, she extended her left arm and placed the other hand on Terra's head. Nevermore itself seemed to quake with a maelstrom of emotion. _Stop this madness. It is dangerous. We must do our best. You know how this will end. You will lose him. Terra can't be saved. Terra will be saved. She will take him from you. She must be made whole. You must try harder. Robin is ours!_

Instantly, Raven sought the void, quelling the cacophony within herself and focusing only on the feel, the essence, of Robin and Terra's souls. Carefully, she let the bridge between the two form, going through her own being without interference, like a river passing under a bridge. Her amethyst eyes widened as she felt her charges begin to merge, and then a quiet emptiness—as though Robin and Terra now existed within a bubble that she could see inside but not touch.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Robin?" Her voice seemed to echo, like she was in some kind of chamber, her voice reverberating off of every wall, reverberating. She squealed at the presence of a hand on her shoulder, but relaxed when she realized it was only Robin, staying with her as he had promised. "Robin! Where are we?"

"I think we're in our minds. Or, more like our mind now. Close your eyes and reach out with your thoughts."

The blonde girl nodded, doing exactly that, gasping when she felt a foreign presence that was somehow alien, and yet somehow agreeable. Gentle ripples of thought seemed to bump against her like waves in a kiddie pool, and it was as though she could inhale his scent. "Robin…"

The masked teen felt as though he were in a wave of sunlight, memories and experiences flowing into him from Terra. School friends, family…she was so normal, and happy. Or at least she had been before meeting them. Were they doing the right thing?"

Terra felt her experiences opening up to the boy, and again her breath caught at how much he was seeing….she recoiled as the unbidden memory of getting her first period in school seemed to play out in slow motion around them. She buried her face in her hands. "I feel so naked." She expressed, shrieking in horror when, as if heeding her thoughts, her clothes dissolved.

"Terra, take control!" Robin told her, doing his best to keep her in sight without directly looking. The blonde screwed her eyes shut in some kind of concentration, clinging to her familiar school memories and drawing upon them to form her school uniform around her.

"I…I'm okay…I think…"

"I'm here." Robin told her. Concentrating on his own thoughts, he reached out for the girl, gently pulling her. Robin kept his thoughts on something familiar, thinking of the common room at Titans Tower, the roaring fires on cold winter nights in Wayne Manor, warm, pleasant things that could quell the girl's nervousness. With a nearly audible pop, the two worlds seemed to become one.

Terra opened her eyes, confirming indeed she know had the familiar white dress blouse and blue checkered skirt from the private academy she attended. The schoolyard was alive with her classmates playing, and she could see her friends coming towards her. Everything was the way it was supposed to be…until that beautiful day, that horrible day, that damned first day that Beast Boy had asked her to go out with her for pizza after school. The wind rustled through the trees, and Terra looked towards her favorite oak, eyes widening as she saw that half of the oak was rooted in the ground, while the other half appeared to have been dug into marble floor. Beyond the tree were two oversized chairs, and a roaring fireplace. There was a window on the other side of the room, snow falling outside of it, in obvious contrast to the warm, sunny day that enveloped Terra in the schoolyard.

Cautiously, she stepped towards the room-that-was-not-a-room, hesitantly allowing one of her shoes to strike the marble floor, the sound of it echoing. Reassured that it was real, she stepped inside, looking up in wonder as suddenly, it was as though there was a roof above her, though behind her, she could still see clearly into schoolyard.

Robin arose from one of the chairs that was facing the fire, adding a log to it and using the poker to push it properly into the hearth without burning himself."Robin…" Terra whispered in sheer marvel, moving towards the window to see the snow piling up. "What is this?"

"Wayne Manor." Robin told her simply. "This was a place I sort of grew up in. Of all the rooms, this one was my favorite. This is where I liked to do my homework or relax. There was nothing more comfortable than sitting in front of this fireplace until bedtime on a cold winter's night. Sometimes reading, sometimes talking, sometimes, we even listened to this old-fashioned radio. There was a station that would rebroadcast radio dramas and sitcoms from the 40's, and we would just sit there, listening, sharing our enthusiasm for the stories…it was nice."

"We?" Terra asked. "With your parents, you mean?"

"I…no." Robin spoke softly, memories he didn't want to think on at the moment coming unbidden to him.

Above, Terra could hear the roar of a circus crowd, the ceiling was gone, now stretching on seemingly forever to the peak of a circus tent. On a series of trapeze swings and high wires, an acrobatic trapeze act was unfolding. Robin looked up, a scene playing out before him, and his heart ached. If only he could have…

No! Robin centered his thoughts and emotions, willing the circus act to vanish. "We're here fot you, Terra. Never mind about me."

"Robin, what happened-"

"Nothing you or anyone else can do anything about. Let me help you, please."

"Where do we go?"

"I'm going to take us to a place from my mind. If you're our Terra, it should be in yours somewhere as well. He joined hands with the blonde girl.

High upon the branch of the schoolyard tree, a black raven cawed forlornly, its red eyes watching intently.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The ravine was a place that Robin had trouble forgetting. After all, it was the place that she had first come into their lives. Like a breath of fresh air, Terra seemed to fill in a while that he'd never really noticed was there on the team. She was fun like Beast Boy, determined like Raven, kind like Starfire...it was as though she were the answer to a prayer each of them had but none of them asked. How could something so right have gone so wrong?

Robin opened his eyes, slowly releasing his charge as he took a look at the vision around them. "We're here."

Terra looked out, seeing the rock formations stretch onward. "Robin? What is this place?"

"This is where we first met, all of us." Robin told her, listening to the wind running through the caves and tunnels, picking up dirt in places.

"I don't like it." Terra shuddered, drawing closer to her costumed friend. "Something about this place feels wrong to me. She clutched at him tightly, like a child with a teddy bear.

"Remember, it's all in our minds. You're still holding my hand out there. You won't lose me."

"_Why did you bring him here?" _A desperate but unmistakable voice called out, echoing among the rocks. It was enough to make poor Terra even more clingy.

"I knew this place wasn't right." She sniffed.

"_You will ruin everything, everything!"_

Robin stiffened, unwilling to allow this to continue. "I brought her here, Terra. It's you, isn't it?"

"_Leave us be. We have paid for our sins_."

"Then come back to us." Robin persisted. "We want you to come back to us."

"_There is no place for us anymore. Take her back. She is happy now. She is free of me. Seek me no further_."

"I seek the friend of the Teen Titans. We don't care about what's passed. We care about the future."

"_We told Beast Boy no_."

"You'll find me more stubborn."

"_You will take her back as she is, or you will not go back_."

Terra pleaded with her partner. "Robin…"

The masked boy held up his free hand to quiet her, preferring to speaking directly to the mysterious voice. "She wants to know the truth. Won't you share it with her?"

"_Let us decline in peace, Robin. We have used the last of our strength to give her a life free of the burden_."

"It's a life that's a lie!"

"_A lie is better than the truth_."

"It will destroy her." Robin said angrily. "You're killing her, even as we speak. You can't ask her to go back and live a lie."

"_Beast Boy would not relent. He has poisoned us_."

"Come out, Terra."

"_We do not wish to return_."

Robin didn't think it was possible, but an additional, much more dreadful voice added itself to the mix. " Oh, but you must, Terra."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Back in Titans Tower, Cyborg examined Terra's psychograph closely. A few minutes ago, it had started to spike, but now it seemed to be increasing exponentially. Cyborg frowned at the readings. From as far as he could tell, Robin had taken the girl off the map as it were, perhaps to a place he could remember but she could not. Something seemed to be going on, but he couldn't tell whether it was good or bad. Sparing a glance at the patients, he noted that Raven seemed to be in some kind of intense concentration within her role as the conduit between the two minds, but it didn't look as though she were trying to break the bond.

Wondering if he was making a mistake but wanting a second pair of eyes that might be useful, Cyborg asked his question. "Hey, Jink!" He called across the room. "Mind taking a look at something for me?"

The pale witch looked at Starfire for assent, and then made her way across the room, swaggering her hips. "Miss me, Stone?" She asked with a tease, enjoying the uncomfortable reaction she got out of the largest Titan. "Relax, I'm just having a little fun." She smiled. "Believe me, I've got enough boy problems at the moment. So what's up?"

"I figure it's a longshot, but I was wondering if you knew anything about psychographs?"

"Not per se, but I'm not helpless around electronics. I had to get some experience under my belt—it was always way too much trouble if Gizmo was unavailable." She shook her head. "Why did I ever get stuck with such a bunch of losers?" She lamented, studying the display. Deciding she wasn't sure she wanted Cyborg to answer that, Jinx quickly shifted the discussion away from herself. "If I'm reading this right, Bird Boy and Goldilocks are off the grid."

"Which means I have no idea where in Terra's mind they are."

"They could be in his." Jinx offered. "I can tell from the psychograph that wherever they are, something's happening. I wonder if it's good or bad."

"I'm hoping good. Whatever it is, Raven isn't trying to stop it."

Jinx nodded. She couldn't help it. It was awkward helping them. It wasn't even about being good or bad anymore, these were still the same heroes she had locked horns with countless times. Standing next to Cyborg now and not trading threats, insults, and attacks felt surreal. But, it also meant that things in her life were changing. She was finally seeing the outside of her prison cell. She had been offered a real chance to prove herself. Standing against her former comrades in that gigantic free-for-all with the Brotherhood of Evil had been easy. Doing the right thing was easy when everyone else was doing it too. But when the time had come to do the right thing by herself, she had lashed out, lapsing into old habits. The worst part of it was that it hadn't even felt fun. And now she was paying the price for it. Where could you go when you alienated both the villains and the heroes.

Cyborg could sense the coquettish witch's brooding, and for some reason, felt like he should do something. "Hey," Cyborg offered. "So you screwed up once. It happens. Beating yourself up over it isn't going to change what happened. What you should focus on is what you really want to do with the rest of your life."

"It's hard, okay?" She said quietly. "Look, all I'm really good at is evil. It's what I do. I bring bad luck, I break things, I turn the tables. It's an evil power."

"No, it's not."

"Spare me the platitudes, okay? I don't need them."

"It's not your power, Jinx, it's what you do with it. You just have to give yourself the chance to be more."

"I can't just bury my past with one or two good deeds."

"No one said you could. So keep doing good things. Not for us, not for Kid Flash, but for yourself. The future's not written, you have the ability to keep changing it until the day someone throws dirt on your casket."

"Morbid much?" Jinx raised an eyebrow.

"I'm just trying to show you what you have. Look at me. My life could've been over after the accident that made me this way. Yeah, some days it's hard, and there are things I miss about being fully human, but it also means I'm unique. Long before I joined the Teen Titans, I used to be so angry all the time about what I was. Being with them helped me realize that maybe this was what I was always meant for. Maybe I had to lose all that other stuff I thought was so important to gain something else. You're not evil, and neither is your power. You just didn't give yourself the chance to be more. Start over now."

"Just like that?" She asked. "What about everything I've done?"

"What you've done isn't as important as what you do going forward. You know, almost everyone we fight has some kind of story about how they became a villain. It seems only fitting if you have a turning point story on how you became a hero. You have way too much potential to waste on getting your butt kicked."

"Why is everyone taking such an interest in my future lately?"

"Because we want you to be more. And we know you want it for yourself, too. Stop thinking about the past and start planning for the future. Maybe give Kid Flash a call? Start over? Look, I'm not defending what he did, but why not sit down and tell him how it made you feel. You know he cares. I'm willing to bet you can have him eating out of your hand. And if not, well, maybe he just needs a little bad luck to make him realize what he's missing out on."

Jinx shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever get used to this." She looked up at the taller man's smiling visage, and she couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her own face. "But I'll try."

"We've got until midnight before we have to get you back. Maybe when this is over, we could try calling Kid Flash and you two can work it out."

Jinx wasn't good at showing gratitude, but Cyborg was pretty sure she mumbled something akin to a thank you. He turned his attention back to the instrument readout. A moment later, Jinx did too. She was smiling.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Slade." Robin said darkly, as his most hated nemesis appeared, and Robin assumed a fighting stance. Slade spread out his hands in front of him.

"Please, Robin, let's not be so predictable. There is nothing either of us can do here of any consequence. Although the irony is not lost on me. My two apprentices, now joining together as one. An unintended consequence to be sure. May I give the bride away?"

"You're not getting your hands on her again, Slade."

"But you see, Robin. I already have. Did you think it would be so easy a second time. When you left my services, I was forced to decide on something more permanent when I recruited our dear, sweet, young Terra."

"What have you done to her?"

"I am what I've done to her. Or, rather, what Slade has done to her. Have you forgotten so easily, Robin? Slade can't really be here, this is her mind, and yours."

"Then who are you?"

"Think of me as a little part of Slade he left in Terra—something to remember him by. I've been roaming her memories and consciousness since she first started working for me. How do you like the new one, by the way? The original I can show you, but you might not like what you see."

Terra seemed to stiffen a bit. The grim visage of Slade seemed to chill her. She wanted to hide, bury her face in Robin's chest and not let go until she was safe. But this was what she wanted. She had to know the truth, no matter what it took. She promised herself she wouldn't back down.

"Show me." Robin demanded. Slade pointed to a cave above and to the side of them. "You first." The Titans' leader insisted.

"As you wish." The masked criminal took a brisk stride to the rockface, pulling himself upwards. Robin thought it seemed odd. Slade, or this version of him, did not seem to possess the same attitude or concerns or even mannerisms of the real thing. He seemed bored with the situation, resigned to a certain inevitability. Robin followed closely, helping Terra along, pulling her upwards when necessary. It was not a high climb, but still treacherous in a few places.

Slade stood to the side of the cave entrance, gesturing inside. "You shouldn't have come, Robin. You shouldn't have brought her here. I know full well the extent to what Slade has done to her."

"Since when do you care?" asked Robin.

"Her mind is my home. If it goes, I go. I have followed the parameters of my programming to preserve myself. But I prefer not to destabilize the only home I have."

"You'd betray your own master for the sake of your own survival. You really are like a part of him."

"My fate is sealed either way. I don't have the ability to betray. But I interpret my orders as I see fit."

Robin walked into the cave, stopping when he realized Terra's advance was being halted by Slade. "Let go." The girl pleaded, trying in vain to get loose.

"You should not have come. She used the last of her strength to make you. A very clever girl."

Robin shook with anger. "Slade. Let her go. We're finishing this."

Slade removed his hand from the girl's shoulder, and she quickly ran towards our hero. "Be careful you don't finish her entirely."

Robin took Terra's hand and gently led her forwards with him. Her tension seemed to feed into him in waves, and he laced his fingers with her own, trying to reassure her that he would not leave her alone in this place. The two journeyed further into the rock, and Robin wished himself a flashlight, conjuring one with his imagination. He activated the beam, and the voice seemed to come much stronger now, so close.

"_You're hurting her by doing this. Let her go back!"_

"It's too late for that, Robin responded, continuing to walk forward.

"_Stay away, Terra! There is only pain here_!"

Finally, Terra spoke, squeezing Robin's hand for support. "Life is pain. I can't live a life that isn't real."

"_I gave you a life free of me. Why did you let him into it_?"

"Beast Boy just felt…right, somehow."

"_I got rid of him for your own good. You not only reopened the door, but you brought HIM with you. Have we not disappointed HIM enough? You will stop_!"

"No." Terra spoke strongly. "I won't. If this is who I am then this is who I am. I won't try to pretend to be someone else. I won't ignore who I am. Even if there is pain…I want to be complete."

"_You do not understand what you ask_."

"Robin protects me."

There was a sound of a laugh, but it contained no mirth. If it were possible for a laugh to sound sorrowful, that was what the teenagers heard. "_Has he told you what I did to him_?"

Robin spoke up. "It doesn't matter. What about what you did for us?"

"_Don't give me credit for fixing the mess I created in the first place_." She hissed.

Terra ran forward, unwilling to wait any longer. "Show yourself to me!" She called, her voice reverberating off the walls. "I'm not running away! Make us whole!"

Robin ran after her, nearly bumping into Terra when the girl stopped in a narrow passage that opened into a slightly wider room. The girl stared inward with her eyes widened in shock, and she dropped to her knees at the sorrow that overcame her. Robin looked beyond her, letting his eyes fall upon what had had such an effect on her. Within the chamber, on a makeshift stone slab, lay Terra, the original Terra that had brought such wonder and horror to the Teen Titans. Her body looked broken, her back arched at a wrong angle, her apprentice uniform cracked and torn away, holes appearing in places they shouldn't. Unable to do anything else, Robin moved past the Terra on her knees, and to the broken girl from the past. "Let us help you, Terra."

The wretched girl coughed. "_You can't just forget the things that I've done._"

"But we can forgive. All of us forgive, Terra. We won't leave you here like this. I failed to help you once. I won't abandon you a second time. Come back with us."

"_Everything that is good about me you have in her. Travel light. Leave the mistake behind. She'll never hurt anyone again. All the power is held within me_."

"Beast Boy needs you." Robin pleaded. "Don't push him away. I won't pretend it's easy, won't tell you it'll just be okay. But we will take every step with you. Try just one more time."

"_I will kill her_."

Slowly, the other Terra got off her knees, staggering towards her remnant in disbelief. "I will heal you. Neither of us is real without the other."

"_You'll be lost. I cannot go on without my goodness_."

"I cannot have a future without my past. I trust them." Terra wiped a tear from her eyes, rising to hold tightly to Robin. "I love him."

"Terra…" Robin tried to take a step backwards, but the girl refused, pulling him closer towards her.

"You said to be myself no matter what. She cares for Beast Boy. And I care for you. "

"I would be so lucky…" Robin told her, looking into her beautiful doe eyes. He stroked her hair gently, wanting so badly to say yes, knowing in his heart that even if he did, it could only end in sorrow. Unbidden, he heard a flock of bats take flight in the cave behind him, drawing him back to reality, and the lone caw of a raven, seeking out another.

Terra raised herself up onto her toes, tilting her head forward, her breath soft and hot against his cheek. "Just once." She asked, her voice barely even a whisper. "Let me give this to her."

"I-" Whatever protest Robin had been about to make was drowned out by her kiss. He wanted to pull away, he wanted to do what he knew was proper. The knight in shining armor was never supposed to take the princess. But in that moment he couldn't do anything. Not joined with her mind, not when he could feel every emotion she had buffeting him so gently, gently, and she was soft, so soft, so delicate and full of need, needing to be cared for. She was like blown glass, so fragile, so beautiful, so perfect…he would have given her anything in that instant, and he felt his heart crash in his chest. She needed him. But he couldn't be this for her. In that moment, he wanted to, but he knew it had to be different.

It was a moment that lasted forever. It was a moment that ended quicker than it began. Her lips were so feather soft, never demanding he give her more, never betraying her affection for wanton lust or desire. She pulled away with such innocence and grace, resting her head against his chest. "Don't tell Beast Boy." She whispered, clutching at his uniform. "Just this once, I needed to know, she needs to know that you forgive her, Robin. Just let me give this to her, help me let her know love."

Robin nodded, realizing that he was crying. He could always be stoic, always be detached, just like Raven. On his own, he would have been fine—but this girl's plight, her pain and suffering, her losses reminded him so much of his own. Raven had been right. He could get lost inside of her. In the end, she was too much like himself. He had just been the fortunate one—there had been someone to pull him back and help him focus his anger on something productive. "I'm so sorry." He told her, feeling like a lost child, her own fear and loss pummeling him.

"Don't be sorry for me. I'm going home. Just help us, Robin. When we're whole…"

"All of us will be there. I won't forget you. Or ignore her."

"Just tell Beast Boy to give me some time." Terra sniffed. "He means well, I just…"

"You need time before you can-"

"—Be what he needs." Terra smiled. Absently, she tugged at the collar of his uniform, where the armored material became more pliant. "Speaking of needs, you should not dismiss what you feel for your fellow bird." She smiled.

"I don't-"

"Robin, I've been in your heart now. Don't deny it to me. You only get one chance at something like this." She told him earnestly. "Give her time, but…don't let her run away either. If you miss out on her, you'll miss out on an adventure that will never come again."

"But…I don't know if Raven…"

Terra smiled warmly for him. "She will never speak of it openly. I guess that means you'll have to. You know her, Robin. So very well. And she knows you. Just go with it, a little more each day."

Terra kissed his cheek, then turned around to look at her past, the broken girl who looked up at her pitifully. She bent down next to the form of the apprentice, sensing how much pain and anger and hurt and sorrow and rage and loss burned inside of her. Could she really do this? Could she really merge with all this? "Robin…this is really going to hurt, isn't it?"

Robin shut his eyes, seeing the horrible way Terra had looked at him that day she tried to crush him with rocks as he tried in vain to reach her. But it was too little too late, then. "Yeah." Robin told her. "It is. Are you sure, Terra? None of us want to force you."

"It's what I want." She whispered, explaining herself. "As badly as you wanted to save Raven from her destiny…I want this. Because of you, I understand something now."

"What's that?"

Terra wiped a tear from her eye. "I need my pain." She wept again, wishing she could simply bury the hurt in him, let him rescue her as she knew he wanted. But she would not go backwards. "Robin?"

"Terra…"

"In another time…"

Robin saw the look in her eyes, asking for help she knew he could not give. It took so much willpower not to go to her, not to sweep her away to a happily ever after, promise her things he could never own up to but spend his life trying. She would not speak it to him, and he would not answer. "Another place…" he said, his voice quavering very uncharacteristically. He was succumbing to the spell of her emotions, and it was his own mind, his own reassurances, that kept him from being swept away. She never said the words, but Robin heard them reverberating through his mind over and over again, her last gift. "_I would have been yours." _Robin knew he never should have let it get this far, and he had to restrain himself from reaching out towards her. Wasn't this what he'd wanted? Why did it now seem so hard to let go.

"Thank you for everything. I love you, Robin." She turned her head towards her destiny, embracing the battered and scarred self left behind. "And I love you."

"_Don't…" _ The apprentice Terra begged as the purer one stroked her other self's cheek.

"It's done."

Her eyes flashed yellow, beginning to sync into rhythm with her other's. With a flash of light, the Terra that Robin had come with glowed and vanished, becoming one with her counterpart, the mechanical suit beginning to repair itself as though it had never been damaged..

The cave walls began to shake with the form of a violent earthquake, and the restored Terra got to her feet shakily, assessing the teenage hero with a mixture of hatred and pity. She looked as though she could punch him, she could hug him, and any one of those things could have easily happened, had there not been a cave-in imminent. Terra stretched out her arms and concentrated in an effort to hold the walls up. "Go!" She barked, and though Robin greatly hesitated to leave her behind, images flashing before his eyes of her last desperate bid beneath Titans Tower all that time ago, he forced himself to remember that none of this was _real_.

Robin began a break for the surface, but instantly crashed into a metallic wall going by the name of Slade. "I never thought you would be successful. I'm afraid this means my time here will soon beat an end."

"Good. She deserves to be free of you."

"For now, perhaps." Slade told him. "But I'm sure that he's already begun another game, Robin. Be sure you're watching the chessboard." He turned his attention to the girl. "Terra! I have one last gift for you, my apprentice."

"She's had quite enough from you!" Robin threatened, moving to stand between Slade's form and the girl he had just come so far to unite.

Slade pushed the boy aside as though he were nothing, and through some trick Robin couldn't understand, ws able to keep the masked hero from even reaching her again. Robin watched in horror as Slade came up behind Terra as she focused on keeping the cavern intact. "I give you your life, Terra. May you relive it over and over again." With one fluid movement, he pulled his mask off, placing it onto the girl's face and pressing.

"No!" Robin screamed, but a shockwave that seemed to radiate outwards from the blonde girl and her assailant practically pushed him out of the enclosed space, and Robin felt himself running towards the surface. He exited into the sunlight, jumping off the Cliffside, tucking his legs for a roll when he hit the ground. Giving himself a once over to ensure that he wasn't too hurt, he quickly looked around, feeling the ground shake. How did he get out of here? As if in answer to his prayer, a lone black raven flew overhead, perching on a cliff in front of him momentarily before taking flight again. Raven. She was leading him out.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"I'm not sure this is good…" Cyborg said worriedly, watching the psychograph beginning to chart off the scale. Something's happening. Something big!"

Jinx studied the map intently. "Where are they?" She asked frantically, not wanting to be useless when someone actually needed her.

The mystery was interrupted by a distinct and eerie scream coming from the chair. Reacting immediately, Starfire flew across the room, deeply concerned for her friends. Terra convulsed within her restraints, legs flailing, arms trying to rip free. Her grip on Robin's hand tightened with alarming, almost superhuman strength. Her scream echoed through the chamber as Robin came out of the trance, the world around him collapsing like a dream. He felt his wrist snap from Terra's raw turmoil, crying out himself as he now struggled to get his hand free before it was completely maimed.

Robin spared a glance at Raven, who seemed to still be working her way out of the bond, trying not to terminate it too quickly. Robin smiled. The goth had thrown him clear when she realized he was in danger—although having the connection to Terra yanked away so suddenly had left something akin to an echo in his mind. While no longer directly linked, it was as though all the things he had absorbed from her were manifesting themselves at once.

Beast Boy helped Robin get his hand free from Terra, replacing it with hers. "Dudes! What's wrong with her? Terra!" He cried, wanting to make it right. None of them were even sure what was happening to the girl, her eyes were wide and blank, a new scream starting every few seconds.

"What the hell's going on?" Robin asked, using his good hand to vault off the stretcher. He would have to tend to the crippled one soon.

Cyborg continued to frantically scan the readout with Jinx. "Wish I could tell you, Robin!" He called out. "Her brain activity is through the roof. What the hell happened in there? Did you succeed?"

"Yes, but I think Slade may have as well. Where is she?"

Jinx motioned for Robin to look at the mental map. "It changes several times a second, like she's everywhere in her head, or nowhere!"

"Great." Robin threw up his arms, wincing immediately at the intense pain from his broken wrist. "Looks like we may need some bad luck after all. I'm glad you're here."

"You mean as opposed to all the good luck you're having? Wait, did you just say that _you're_ glad to have _me_ here?" asked Jinx.

"I don't know, I've been so busy coming up with a plan I hadn't noticed." Robin smirked. If the situation weren't so dire, he might've laughed at how positively his comment had affected the young witch.

Unfortunately, all it took to drive him out of his reverie was the renewed anguish of Terra. "No….NO….OH PLEASE GOD NOOOOOOOO!" She screamed, the sounds emanating from her throat were absolutely horrific. No one in the room could look away—it was as though she were being simultaneously raped and murdered. She kicked with abandon, and Starfire struggled to subdue the poor girl, her arm and wrist muscles flexing, straining to break free of their restraints. Robin forced himself not to look away as Terra lost complete control of her body, unaware of her surroundings entirely as she lost all control of her bowels, messing herself, her horrid scream stopping only long enough for to vomit. Her head being attached to the machine, she was making a mess of herself, tears cascading down her face in rivers. Robin couldn't bear to see it. It was all his doing.

"For God's sake, Cyborg, let's get her a sedative before she kills herself!" Robin cried out.

"I'm on it!" Cyborg tore out of the room, heading for the medical bay.

Jinx stared wide-eyed in shock. She had never seen anything like this before, never made even the most obnoxious of heroes that had fallen into her clutches to know this kind of suffering. It was inhuman, and she truly felt sorry for this mystery girl. "I wouldn't even have wished this on Madame Rouge." She breathed.

"NO!" Terra continued to scream, her voice broken only by the coughing up of whatever remained in her stomach. "IT ISN'T REAL! YOU'RE ALL OKAY! DON'T LEAVE ME!" She shuddered and convulsed, and Beast Boy struggled to provide some measure of comfort, knowing in his heart that Terra wasn't really with them at the moment.

"Terra, we're here. We're okay." He pleaded with her, but the blonde girl could not hear him.

"I am needing more assistance!" Starfire called tentatively, losing the fight to keep poor Terra restrained

Raven opened her eyes with a start, coming out of her trance. She immediately recoiled, falling to her knees.

"Raven!" Robin called, willing Cyborg to return with something to quell Terra.

The hybrid looked up at him in a measure of desperation. Nevermore was shaking at its core from the unrelenting onslaught of Terra's emotions, every voice screaming to join in, the poor blonde girl's reverberating screams of anguish and horror acting as a battering ram to Raven's psychic control, slamming against her weakening defenses over and over and over again. Her empathy could only take so much. "Robin…"

"Hold on, Raven, I'm working on it."

"I'LL GET A DOCTOR!" Terra continued to wail, the tower itself beginning to rumble and shake. Robin was instantly glad for his decision to do this as far away from the ground as possible. "I'LL GET A DOCTOR…HE'LL FIX YOU…IT WAS AN ACCIDENT…DON'T STOP BEING MY PARENTS!" The helmet that attached to her head seemed to scream, and the psychograph itself bent off the charts, snapping.

"Jinx!" Robin yelled. "Hex the whole thing!"

The pink-haired girl didn't need to be told to make herself useful more than once. She threw a simple curse on the wiring that connected to the chair first, and unleashed one of her favorite hexes on the instrument panel in front of her, feeling quite proud of herself when it immediately sparked and shorted out, the entire front of the machine giving way, its innards spilling out onto the floor. Satisfied with her work, she moved over to the others. "I can take care of the helmet too." She offered.

"Thanks." Robin said, but first we need.

"Cyborg!" Beast Boy called as the burly man returned with a large medical kit.

"That's right. Now let's just hold the girl steady and we can let her down easy." Cyborg winced at how loud Terra had become.

Raven finally sank to the floor, crying out. This had to end now or there would be two troubled members of the team. Robin grabbed the sedative syringe from the medical kit, instructing Cyborg and Starfire to hold Terra still. "Beast Boy, swab her arm!" He called, and the changeling used and antiseptic wipe.

"I'm sorry, Terra." The green boy said softly. "It'll be okay, I promise."

The blonde still struggled to break free, but it was as though she had no idea of her surroundings, lost in a seemingly endless torrent of horrible memories. "Robin!" He heard Raven scream in the background. She was reaching her limit—it was now or never.

"Terra." Robin whispered. "You'll be okay…" He couldn't help staring into her vacant eyes as he stuck her arm with the injection.

"Why did you have to die?" She asked, her body beginning to go limp. "I didn't mean to hurt you Mom…Dad…it was an accident." She breathed, and her head lolled forwards, her body coming to rest at last.

Robin's own emotional bond to Terra, still very strong from their so recent bonding, caused him to stagger backwards. He felt as though he had just been hit by a freight train. He needed a break from all of it. Without waiting to be asked, Jinx shot a bolt from her fingertips at the helmet on the unconscious blonde girl's head, and a second at the restraints on the chair, freeing Terra, who collapsed into the waiting arms of Starfire and Cyborg. "Starfire." Robin croaked, hardly able to speak. He felt nauseous and beaten. "Take her to the medical bay. Can you clean her up, get her out of those dirty clothes?"

The Tamaranian's heart went out to her leader, but she was perceptive enough to know that there was no comfort she could offer him at this moment but to do as he asked. "I will take her right away." Starfire told him honestly, Cyborg helping to carry Terra.

Robin collapsed onto the floor, hardly able to think straight any longer. Jinx approached him hesitantly, feeling as though she were the only one who wasn't being bombarded with emotional distress. Raven was clearly in need of some recovery and peace now that Terra's emotional distress had finally stopped assaulting her. Beast Boy had very obvious feelings for the wretched blonde girl, clearly he was desperate to go to her, but the look Cyborg had given him caused the changeling to stay behind. And Robin was clearly feeling all sorts of anguish, due to his recent bond with the girl and seeing what effect it was ultimately having. Tentatively, Jinx reached out to him, offering her hand to help him stand. She knew the importance of good leadership from her time in the H.I.V.E. Five. "Hey, you okay?" She asked.

The leader of the Titans did not take her hand, but rather tore his own uniform, letting out a primal cry of rage and frustration. Never before had he ever let his team see him like this, but there were so many complex and powerful emotions running through his head and heart—half of them his, half of them Terra's, all of them real and intense and more than he could possibly bear at the moment.

"Not helping." Raven croaked, massaging her temples furiously. Forget meditation, she was looking at getting a sensory deprivation chamber to help rebalance herself when this was over.

"Enough!" Jinx yelled, grabbing Robin's shoulders and shaking him. "Come on, your team needs you, hero!" She slapped his face with the palm of her hand, not very hard, but enough to get his attention.

"Thanks." Robin coughed, pulling himself together. He accepted Jinx's hand this time, grasping it with his good one, allowing the girl to pull him up.

Jinx shrugged. "Just trying to be useful."

"You were Robin smiled, placing a hand on her shoulder. Thank you."

She blushed a bit, turning away. Aside from Kid Flash, no one had ever thanked her for anything before. She decided that it was an agreeable sensation. "Yeah, well, you would've done the same."

Dusting himself off, Robin left the young witch's side and turned to Raven, paying Jinx's favor forward by helping his teammate up. Raven accepted his help, and as he pulled her to his feet, their eyes met. He could see the words in her eyes that she didn't speak for his sake, and felt ashamed. _I warned you. _Instead, she placed her hand on his shoulder hesitantly, and when he met her eyes again, something different was conveyed there, something neither of them could put into words. "I know." She said simply, but somehow, it was enough. She understood how much he was suffering. It was what she had tried to spare him from, after all.

Robin ignored it for now. "You going to make it?"

"Don't mind me if I meditate for most of tomorrow." She said, holding a hand up to her head. "We need to get your wrist looked at."

Robin looked down at his wounded hand. Terra had done a number on it. Fortunately, Raven could heal a lot of the damage…but first he had to endure having his wrist set in its proper place. Funny, compared to what he was feeling inside, the broken bones felt like a dull ache at best. "In a minute. Let's let Starfire get Terra cleaned up."

Lastly, Robin gathered his courage to face the person he found it hardest to look in the eye—Beast Boy. The team's diminutive jester brooded by himself in the corner. The words Terra had been speaking when Robin sedated her were still haunting Robin, he couldn't imagine what it was doing to Beast Boy, who adored the girl so openly. "Beast Boy." Robin kneeled down beside his friend and teammate. "I…Terra. She really needs a friend right now."

Beast Boy looked miserable, as though it was what he wanted more than anything in the world. "I'm not sure how." He sniffed. "I knew she had some trouble, some problems, but…"

"We'll talk in private." Robin told him. "Why don't you just go down to the medical bay and be there for her for now. She'll probably be asleep for quite some time. Maybe you could be a friend to her right now just by being there, show her that you're still her friend no matter what."

Beast Boy stood up to go, but stopped, turning back towards Robin. "How do I protect her from this?" He asked, begging Robin for an answer.

"We can't." The masked leader responded. "But all of us can show her that she's not going to go through this alone."

"I'll always stand by Terra." Beast Boy said, feeling some of the confidence he had back when he first learned the girl was still alive. "Thanks dude."

"Go on." Robin told him, encouraging him to be there for the girl he cared for above all others. Beast Boy didn't need to be told twice, and this time, he took off at a run, heading out the door and down the stairs.

Raven interrupted Robin's reverie as the changeling ran off. "Robin, your hand."

"Yeah, I suppose I do need it." The boy nodded. "Let's go down."

Jinx spoke up. "Um, I do need to get back to prison by midnight." She sighed. "Not that I want to, but the last thing I want is more time added to my sentence."

"Don't worry. I'll have Cyborg take you." Robin moved towards the door with Raven in tow, then stopped. "How's the food in prison?"

"A lot worse than the food at H.I.V.E. Academy was."

"Order yourself a pizza. Speed dial number one from the main phone in the common room. You remember how to get there?"

"Do I!" The girl practically tore out of the room, running past the remaining Titans like they were a speedbump.

Raven fixed her leader with a glare. "Feeling generous, I see."

"I got good faith out of her. I'm willing to give a little back. Maybe a lot." He suddenly grinned. "She did do us a favor."

"What are you planning?" Raven asked, putting a hand on Robin's shoulder to march him out the door.

"I'm thinking of calling in a favor from an old friend."

"You're like a kid taking in stray dogs."

"Maybe. But I also feel responsible. I think she's a good kid."

"Uh-huh." Raven deadpanned. "And I think you've done enough of the whole knight in shining armor bit for one night."

Robin's face darkened as he walked with his friend. "About that…can we talk in a little bit? There's something I need to say."

"Like that conversation we had back in my room?" Raven cocked an eyebrow.

Robin stiffened at her obvious meaning. "I-"

"Two o'clock alright? I'm guessing you won't be sleeping much tonight."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Half an hour later, Robin had just gotten off the phone with his mentor. His wrist still hurt, but Raven had helped him get it into a restraint to hold it in place. She couldn't repair the break itself, but she was able to heal the bruising. With that done, it didn't hurt so much anymore as long as he treated it very gingerly. He might be out of the action for awhile, but it was nothing that wouldn't heal if he was patient. Patience wasn't always one of his strong suits when it came to these sorts of things, but he would do his best. Tired but knowing the day wasn't yet over, Robin entered the alcove where Terra was stabilizing. She was still unconscious, and Robin was inclined to keep her that way for some time. Her poor mind had been through so much, not only the reintroduction of so many painful memories and experiences, but the difficulty of being bonded to his own and then ripped apart suddenly. Terra seemed to sleep fitfully, but true to his word, Beast Boy was at her side, holding onto her hand, trying to provide some measure of comfort. "Beast Boy." Robin acknowledged, glad to see him there. Robin's heart still went out to the fragile blonde girl. "How is she?"

"The same." His friend responded. "At least she's finally quieted down."

Instantly, the memory of how much Terra has suffered when Robin helped restore her memory came back to him. It made him want to be sick. "I'm sorry this happened." Robin told the green boy. "I didn't think it would all be perfect, but I never expected anything this bad."

"It's not your fault." Beast Boy nodded, and Robin knew from his tone that his friend would blame him if he could, perhaps even wished he could blame him. Robin understood that sentiment—it was always so much easier when there was someone or something you can blame. It seemed so unfair when there was nothing you could directly fault. Truthfully, Robin blamed himself, but that was a conversation that, hopefully, he could have with Terra herself when her mind was calm.

Robin collapsed into a chair, rubbing at his face with his good hand. He hated this. "I'm going to tick you off, Beast Boy. But I just want you to listen to me before you get mad."

The changeling blew a breath out from his mouth in exasperation. "Go ahead." He waved with his free hand.

Robin leaned forward, looking intently at his teammate. "Give her time. She's going through so much right now. She may be…apprehensive about you. About all of us. Don't take it personal. Give her space. Give her time. Most of all just be her friend, even when that means things not being how you'd like them to. In time, she'll come around."

There was silence for a long moment. Robin didn't know what else to say, and it was as though Beast Boy had no idea how to respond. Finally the changeling responded, speaking as though he were baring his soul.

"It's so hard." His words were quiet, as though he were afraid saying them aloud would make them more real. "Even now. She's lying right here and I miss her so much. I just…I just want to hold onto her and tell her…"

"…that you'll never let go, that she'll never have to be lonely again." Robin finished for him in a whisper.

Beast Boy blinked, turning away from Terra to look at Robin. "Dude?"

Robin held up an arm. "We were one, Beast Boy. And all I wanted to do was protect her. When we were bonded, I was able to realize how much she…" His voice trailed off, as Terra's humble plea came back to him as though he were still standing next to her, holding her, breathing her.

"_Don't tell Beast Boy…"_

Somehow, Robin found his center, releasing a breath he wasn't even aware he had begun holding. She was still so close in his mind, but looking at the girl lying on the bed, he couldn't have felt farther away from her in that moment if he tried. "…how much she needs our help." Robin said at length. "She cares for you." Robin explained. "Just…don't push. Let her set the pace."

Beast Boy nodded earnestly, understanding his meaning. "Thanks for helping her Robin. You didn't give up."

"No. I didn't." Robin stood up. Terra had been right. It was just like with Raven—he wouldn't quit even after she had. Why should this time have been any different? "You'll keep watch over her tonight?"

"I'll keep watch over her _every_ night." Beast Boy said, and Robin nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I think she would like that. Let me know if you need anything. I'll stay with her when you can't." He turned and walked out of the room, leaving what he hoped could eventually become a happy young couple to themselves. Again, Robin was feeling emotionally overwhelmed, a side-effect he knew too well from the bonding that would dissipate in time…but for now it was as though all things Terra invoked his instincts to protect the girl, and to cry for her plight. He steeled himself to do neither—she had a protector now, and he couldn't allow himself to break down until reaching the safety of his room. Breathing in and out several times to compose himself, Robin decided to head down to the common room. There was still more to be done.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Robin entered the common area to find Cyborg, Jinx, and Starfire sharing two pizzas. Jinx and Cyborg seemed to be working on a bottle of root beer between the two of them, while Starfire was washing her starch down with a medium-seized bottle of mustard. Aside from the guest in their midst, it looked like an ordinary night at home. It was almost easy to forget the drama and horror that had unfolded upstairs. Though he wasn't very hungry, Robin knew he should eat something, so he reached for a piece of sausage and mushroom pizza and poured a cup of root beer for himself.

"How are you feeling?" Starfire asked, placing her half-eaten slice of pizza onto a napkin, she looked at the Titan leader with great concern.

"I'm holding up." Robin said quietly. "I'll be okay, Starfire. It'll just take some adjusting."

Cyborg slid his chair back. "It's after eleven, Jinx. I almost hate to do it, but we'd better get you back."

Jinx drained her soda and put down the pizza crust she was gnawing on. "Yeah, well, I guess it couldn't last forever." She stood up. "Sorry if I was a pain earlier."

"You were most useful when we needed you." Starfire told the pink-haired girl. "We are most grateful for your assistance. If you would not mind it, I will be visiting you in your prison, Friend Jinx." Starfire embraced the pale girl, and Cyborg worried that her small frame would be crushed like a steamroller.

Jinx coughed when she was released, catching her breath from the alien's show of friendship. "You can visit if you promise not to hug me like that again." She stated, and the two shared a laugh as Starfire blushed at her strength.

"I don't know." Robin rubbed his chin, taking another bite of his pizza slice. "Something tells me you two might get used to each other."

"At least I'll finally have something to look forward to each week."

"I guess you will." Robin said coyly, finishing his slice just as the sound of the door chime went off. "Now I wonder who that could be?" Robin opened the door to find one of Jump City's finest and an Officer of the Court. Bruce had come through for him.

Robin used his good hand to greet each of the arrivals, taking a proffered clipboard from the Officer of the Court which contained several documents for him to sign.

The policeman, Officer Parker, spoke up. "Are you prepared to take charge of the prisoner?"

"I am." Robin stated, signing his hero name to the paperwork. He could see from the forms that Bruce had already co-signed for him, since the legal system couldn't release a prisoner into an unidentifiable person's care. The process took a few minutes, but finally, the paperwork was completed.

"Then by the power invested in the state of California, Prisoner UB-9383, commonly known as Jinx, is hereby released into your custody for the remainder of her sentence."

"No way." The young with breathed in disbelief, shaking her head to make certain that she wasn't having some kind of dream.

The clerk placed the paperwork into his briefcase. "Whoever that girl is, she certainly has some friends in high places."

"She's got friends here too, if she wants them." Robin smiled, escorting the guests out with a courteous shake from his good hand.

Jinx literally vaulted over the table, running up to Robin. "You're serious. This isn't a joke?"

"It means we're now legally responsible for you until your sentence is up, so no more going backwards. Guess that means you'll have to stay here for awhile. Think you and Starfire can bunk until we find you a better place? I'd put you with Raven, but we both know that wouldn't end well." Robin smirked.

"I would be most pleased to share my space with our new friend!" Starfire beamed, becoming excited. "Perhaps this means that I may also make Pudding Of Togetherness to celebrate her new home?"

The trepidation of all other parties in the room was palpable. Cyborg finally said what he knew had to be said. "Star, the girl's just got out of prison. She deserves some real food."

The green-eyed girl appeared confused at the metallic man's comment, but then realization seemed to dawn on her. "You are right! We must first have a proper feast! Pudding of Togetherness should only be shared at the end of a thirteen course _krolnik_!"

Jinx blinked several times in confusion. "Is this girl speaking English?" She asked Robin under her breath.

"After a fashion." Robin told her. Starfire continued to make long and detailed plans involving food, much to Cyborg's horror.

"No one has ever done anything like this for me, Robin."

"Just goes to show that maybe you've been on the wrong side for entirely too long." Robin explained.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked. "I mean, I'm not complaining, I couldn't be happier, but-"

Robin sighed, glad that this day was nearly over. "After being in Terra's head, I saw how badly she needed a leg up. Starfire once said that Terra was 'punished entirely too much for doing entirely too little.' When I saw how genuinely helpful you were being, I just couldn't get that phrase out of my head. I figured I would give you a reason to do the right thing from now on."

"Are you kidding? I'm not going back to those losers! They never even appreciated all I did for them."

"That's the thing around here. We appreciate each other." Robin smiled. "We all kind of balance each other out. And I thought that maybe some good luck in your life would make a difference."

Jinx nodded, looking a little sheepish. "I'm not really good at gratitude, but…thank you for taking a chance on me. I just…"

"You're ready to be more?"

Jinx seemed to brighten considerably that someone actually understood her motives. "Yes!"

"Then start tonight." Robin told her warmly, calling her new roommate over. "Hey Starfire! Why don't you help Lucky Girl here get acquainted with her new place."

If Jinx had seemed happier before, she was even moreso now. Not only was she free of the prison cell, legally, but no more having to room with a bunch of stupid, unappreciative boys who acted as though she were their mother. Cyborg and Robin watched the two girls flurry off together. Shaking his head, Robin briefly wondered what he was getting himself into

"You do know they outnumber us now, right?" Cyborg asked him, helping himself to several more pieces of pizza.

Robin moved over to the kitchen table, putting his head down in a vain attempt to relax. "What's the worst that could happen?

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Robin…Robin…Robin…wake up." There was a voice, somewhat pleasant, talking into his ear, neither loud nor soft. His mind was almost too hazy to make it out, but he could feel the ache in his neck that indicated he had fallen asleep in the wrong position. When was the last time that had happened. Gingerly, he allowed himself to be shaken awake, opening his eyes to peer into amethyst orbs that stared back at him.

"Raven." He croaked, feeling completely groggy and out-of-sorts.

"Nothing gets by you." She said flatly, moving to the stove to tend to a boiling teakettle. She placed two empty mugs on the table. "You've been rummaging through my stash of tea."

Robin lifted his head, feeling the crick in his neck ache in response. "Terra and I had some earlier, before the bonding. I was hoping to put her at ease."

"Try chamomile next time." Raven suggested, deciding to give him that very kind of tea right now. "I'm impressed, you managed to find some sleep."

"I think I'm just mentally and emotionally exhausted." Robin revealed, stretching his arms out. "It's been a long night."

"How are you doing? With the bond, I mean?"

"It's not as intense anymore." Robin explained. "But I still see her every time I shut my eyes. That will go away, right?"

He did not receive a response.

"Raven!"

She looked at him, a hard stare. It was not cruel or even penetrating, but Robin completely understood that she was not speaking lightly. "Perhaps. I can't tell you such things with any certainty. I did try to warn you, Robin. I bonded the two of you because you ordered me. I don't know what all of the side effects will be. I can tell you that the intensity of the emotional connection will subside with time. But you can't just expect everything to go back to normal."

"I know that."

"Do you really? You charged in like Sir Galahad from King Arthur's court, rushing to save your damsel in distress. Just like you did for me. It may be flattering, but it was also selfish and irresponsible on your part." Raven poured the hot water into the two mugs, sitting down beside him now to continue the conversation properly.

"Selfish?" I put everything on the line to rescue you because I believed in you, Raven. Even after you stopped believing in yourself.

"And everyone else was left behind to fight Trigon." Raven reminded him.

"This isn't about you, Raven, it's about Terra."

"Indeed. And she's now suffering."

"Don't you think I know that. But I had to help her make herself whole again. It was what she wanted."

"What she wanted, yes. But was it what she _needed_."

"Who are we to deny her what she wants?"

"Who are we to destroy the first real happiness she had?" Raven responded, and it felt to Robin as though she had smacked him across the face. What made it sting all the more was the realization that she was right."

Robin slumped in his chair, taking a sip from his mug, wincing as he realized it was straight and reaching for the sugar pot on the table. "This is my doing, my arrogance. I was so certain I could fix it all. That I could give her a second chance."

"That you could finally quiet your conscience." Raven finished for him.

Robin looked down into his cup of tea. "Yes."

"Sometimes, it just isn't that simple, Robin. Even when we want it to be…it just isn't. You can't blame yourself for everything that goes wrong."

"I was responsible for her, Raven."

"Yet she made her own choices. You cannot use the excuse of what Terra wanted now if you'll throw away the fact that she also chose to betray us."

"She betrayed us because she thought she had to. She thought that Slade was the only one who could help her! You don't understand Slade like I do!" He banged the table with his good fist, a little surprised at how high he had raised his voice. "No one does. No one can."

"Robin?" The girl asked at length, allowing him to calm down.

"I had to go after you, Raven. The idea that you had given up, that you didn't keep fighting to the end, that you would just give in…"

"I was trying to protect you, all over you. I knew that I couldn't escape the prophecy that controlled me. But none of you were a part of it. It was my last, great hope that you all would find a way to defeat Trigon."

"I wasn't willing to do it without you."

"I am appreciative." She told him. "But it was very selfish of you. Why would you do that for me?"

Robin clenched his fist. "Because I didn't want to live in a world without my best friend. You were the one who confided in me about your birthday. I wasn't just going to give up. I wasn't going to let go of you. No more than I could let go of Terra." Robin shut his eyes, remembering Terra's words during their bond. "_She will not speak of it openly_…"

"What?" Raven asked.

"It's nothing." He said at length. "Forget it."

"Robin…"

"You were in trouble. I wasn't going to leave you in limbo. I wasn't going to leave you alone. Terra wanted to know who she was. Maybe she was happy without us. But Beast Boy did a pretty good job of ruining that for her. I don't blame him, he couldn't have known what he was doing. I did what I thought was right, Raven. Maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe it wasn't the best solution. But I won't judge her any longer."

"Robin…have you reflected on the knowledge that for a leader who usually does things very balanced, who makes sound, rational decisions…that twice now you've made major decisions based on emotion?"

"Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"No. But I'm not saying you're right either. What's important is that you be aware of the reasons for your decisions."

"And if I had chosen differently, would we even be having this discussion right now?"

"Probably not. Maybe that's my point."

"What is your point?"

"What's yours?" She asked pointedly

Robin said nothing, tensing up.

"Okay, you need to let these emotions out, Robin. You bottle them up for what you feel is the greater good. Forget Terra. Forget me. When do you just do something for yourself."

"I'm not forgetting either of you. Don't you get it, Raven. The choices I make—whether they're smart or not, they still make me who I am. They're what I choose to do, how I'm true to myself. Maybe they were reckless. Maybe they were hard. Maybe everything could have gone wrong. But they're what I am."

Raven started, still not accustomed to such an emotional response out of her leader. "Our choices are what imprint the human stain upon our lives." She said quietly.

"The human stain?" Robin asked, confused at the terminology.

"Humanity is the only indigenous race to earth that has the ability to make choices, that operates on more than just instinct. As you pointed out, they are what make us who we are."

"And what choices do you make, Raven?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She asked, arching an eyebrow. Robin blinked, not sure what she was getting at. "I choose to be sitting up in the middle of the night, trying to help my best friend put his life back together when he didn't listen to me in the first place." She took a sip of her tea, her eyes looking over the rim of the mug.

Robin smirked. "And you wonder why I went back for you when you were so certain your role in life was over." He told her.

"Presumably for the same reason I'm sitting here with you."

"And that is?"

Now it was Raven's turn to smile. Or at least, what she would allow him to see of one. It didn't bother him—he was always willing to take what he could get when it came to the brooding goth girl. "We're both suckers for lost causes."

Robin chuckled, unable to disagree with her logic. "Here's to lost causes." He proclaimed, taking a healthy sip of his tea. He shook his head, thinking back over this entire night and where it had taken him. "Raven, I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you earlier, in your room."

"I'm sorry that I didn't plead my case better."

"Regardless, I shouldn't have ordered you to do something you didn't want to do."

"You did what you thought was right. You always do. Even when you're wrong."

"I'll listen to you next time."

"Next time?"

"The next time we disagree on something. I'll pay more attention. I think I'm going to start paying a lot more attention to you from now on." He nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"Good. I always wanted my own personal stalker." She chided.

"That's not what I meant, Raven."

"But it is what you said."

"We should do more. This whole situation with Terra has made me realize the importance of friends."

"This is starting to sound like an Afterschool Special." Raven rolled her eyes.

"Come on, I'm serious. Hang out with me. We can go to your favorite bookstore. I like to read, you like to read…"

"You're really serious about this, aren't you."

"Friends do things they can share together. Beating on villains isn't exactly a friendship activity."

"It seems to be where we're concerned." She told him, somewhat surprised by how serious he still looked. "Fine. The bookstore. It should be…"

"Fun?" Robin queried.

"I was going to say interesting." She told him.

Robin shut his eyes, still seeing Terra, the feel of her lips against his, the warmth of her form. It spread through him now in a different fashion, filling him with hope. "_She will never speak of it openly. I guess that means you'll have to._" He whispered to himself, noting her ears pricking in interest. "How about in a few days? After we're both a little less drained?"

"Acceptable." Raven nodded.

"Great. It's a date then." Robin rose from his chair, stretching. "I'm going to try to get some more sleep. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow night when you can take a break from meditating?"

For some reason, the paler girl looked unsure of herself, as though she were shrinking into her cloak. But the words she wanted to say finally came, albeit with much concentration and self-doubt. "It's a date."

Robin smiled for her before draining the rest of his tea, placing the mug in the sink and heading for the stairs. "Goodnight, Raven."

"Good luck." She responded. "With your dreams, I mean."

"Don't I know it." Robin nodded, ascending the staircase and leaving his friend behind. After all, with so many different emotions and sensations assaulting him tonight, who knew who else might be in them?

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven opened her eyes, coming out of her memories. How long had she been lost in remembrance? She stood by the window, pulling out her communicator. She was being unusually hard on Robin as of late, and he was putting up with her, like always, She loved him, she knew that. For all the complications it had wrought in her life, if given the chance, she wouldn't change things between them. He was good to her, and more importantly, to their daughter. None of her own difficulties could be blamed on Terra. Sighing, Raven activated her communicator, signaling to Robin. He appeared moments later with a smile on his face. It was not the smile of a salesman. It was the smile of the boy…the young man, with whom she had twined her life.

"Raven? What's happening?"

"Nothing." She said simply, looking at his image and tracing his face with her fingertips. "I only wanted to hear the sound of you voice…"

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

My goodness, I can't possibly believe it, but it's here, it's done. It's complete. This thing has been literally bleeding out of me for days and days. There was always something new to discover, and so I just ran with it. This is the longest chapter of anything I have ever written. Congratulations for getting this far. I could have broken this up into more chapters, but this really is a story centered more on Robin and Raven. It's just that Terra has such a specific role in this that I had to completely flesh her out, as well as explain the Robin/Terra relationship, or it would just become too confusing.

Every step of the way, I wanted to show you what happened instead of just telling you. So I did. It was hard to write in places, and I became very emotionally drained from the sheer heaviness of all this. It wasn't easy, and there were times when I did wonder if I could finish this. There was just so much sadness, so much raw emotion tearing away at me. This is by far the hardest thing that I've ever written, but a feel such a sense of sheer accomplishment for completing this chapter. My fond hope is that it will all be easier from here.

It totally goes without saying if you've read all this, but long update is LONG. Even moreso than last time. I know it's long, and I know that some readers just might not have had the patience. Unfortunately, I can't apologize for the length, as I am dedicated to making the characters stand out as three-dimensional. I went them to be alive on the page. If I'm not emotionally invested in their trials, travails, and tribulations as the author, I can hardly expect anyone reading this story to be invested either. So for those of you who are actually reading and enjoying this, I thank you for your patience and understanding. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this is by far the least popular fanfic I have ever published. Ironically, I also feel that it is the most important. Years ago, the tepid response I've gotten would've bothered me, perhaps even discouraged me. But I find today that it doesn't matter. This story is for me. Parts of my life are now in it, I've bled for it, lost sleep and sanity over it, and I couldn't be happier for it. Still, I won't lie. It is great when you let the author know how he's doing. Hate it? Love it? Meh? I'm a firm believer that honest, constructive criticism, both good and bad, can have a very positive impact on the author.

All that said, I desperately need to go to bed, I just can't see straight anymore, and I've dumped yet another all-nighter into this story. Expect Chapter Four to swing back to the main storyline and focus a bit more on Raven's relationships. I also plan to show some interaction with Rain there for those of you who have taken an interest in the child. Hope to see you here when it's ready—I think I can safely say the next chapter will not be nearly so long!

Lastly, if you know me, you know the drill. Send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

8/24/11

6:56AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26


	4. Remembrances & Musings

Chapter Four: Remembrance and Musings

Raven opened her eyes, coming out of her memories. How long had she been lost in remembrance? She stood by the window, pulling out her communicator. She was being unusually hard on Robin as of late, and he was putting up with her, like always, She loved him, she knew that. For all the complications it had wrought in her life, if given the chance, she wouldn't change things between them. He was good to her, and more importantly, to their daughter. None of her own difficulties could be blamed on Terra. Sighing, Raven activated her communicator, signaling to Robin. He appeared moments later with a smile on his face. It was not the smile of a salesman. It was the smile of the boy…the young man, with whom she had twined her life.

"Raven? What's happening?"

"Nothing." She said simply, looking at his image and tracing his face with her fingertips. "I only wanted to hear the sound of you voice…"

"You know I always have a minute for you, Raven."

"Have I been distant lately? I mean, more than usual." She asked, feeling the need to reassure their relationship

"A little different, maybe. It's okay. A long time ago I promised you that I would never push."

"You know, there is such a thing as being too understanding, Boy Wonder." Raven told him. He offered her a grin in response that had a tendency to make her feel both light and angry simultaneously. She was about to tell him exactly what she thought of that smug smile, when she heard another voice on the line.

"Oh, is that your wife? How exciting!"

Raven blanched at the assumption, and Robin himself looked decidedly uncomfortable. "Not yet." He told the female voice. "My partner, and the mother of my child." He spoke proudly. "Want to meet her?"

"Robin…" The gothic girl bristled, but he ignored her protest, eyes twinkling behind his mask.

"Say hello to the nice couple, Raven. This is Mr. And Mrs. Davenport."

Raven grimaced as the communicator was passed of to total strangers she had no desire to share her personal affairs with. Sometimes it could be so irksome to know how personable Robin could be. He interacted with the citizens of Jump City so simply and easily, like they were old friends going way back. Sure, he and the other Titans had dedicated a significant portion of their lives to helping to safeguard the citizens of the city, but Robin could travel between two social worlds so easily—at one moment being the stoic hero, and the next, just a friendly face in the crowd. He got a lot of hero worship, which was why he worked as a car salesman. He wanted regular people to see him as that—a regular person who went to work like they did and worried about monthly payments and taxes and other parts of common life. He wanted to be the kind of person that he felt anyone could be like if they so chose, instead of some hero on a pedestal, perceived to be better than the masses. There was something to be said for his reasoning, even if Raven was the type who would rather have her personal life remain personal. "Hi…" She finally spoke, looking at the faces of a couple that looked roughly the same age as herself and Robin.

"Two teen Titans!" The wife exclaimed. "You see, honey, they aren't so reclusive!"

"I don't know if I'd go that far…" Raven began, but it was as though the excited young woman couldn't hear her.

"She's so beautiful, Henry, don't you think. The two of you are lovely! How long have you been together?"

"It's, ah, kind of hard to put a label on…"

"Will you be having more children? Oh, you simply must! Henry and I are hoping we're pregnant with twins!" She said excitedly, glomping onto her husband. Henry Davenport was at least able to see Raven's noticeable discomfort and looked sheepishly back at her through the communicator.

"Ah, well…" Raven responded, feeling her face lose what little color it normally carried.

"You two simply must come to dinner sometime. We can swap pregnancy stories, it'll be wonderful!"

A wave of nausea that had been present when Raven first woke up this morning began to creep back into her stomach. Finally, Robin rescued her from this torture, gingerly taking the communicator back. "Mrs. Davenport, we really should be getting back to business, I'm afraid."

"Oh, of course, of course! I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me!" She breathed.

"It's alright." Robin said. "Raven, I'll see you tonight."

The sorceress nodded. "Tonight."

"I love you."

Raven sighed, closing her eyes and concentrating. She would not be goaded into speaking of her feelings around others, but she did reciprocate via their own bond. While it was nothing like what Robin had shared with Terra while restoring the earth mover's memories, it did allow Raven to share some of her feelings and emotional echoes with her partner without endangering the environment. It flowed both ways when she desired it, but it was also a simple thing for her to staunch the flow in either direction. It made things much easier between them, and she would never deny that it was much easier than walking on eggshells. Feelings were much easier to share than to discuss. Robin smiled upon feeling her reciprocation through they're shared link. She let him enjoy the moment before closing the connection. "Ditto." She said to herself, stowing the communicator and crossing to the panoramic window, taking in the view of the city on a sunny Friday mid-morning.

Bye- bye, baby

_Don't be long_

_I worry about you _

_While you're gone_

_Bye-bye, baby_

_Don't be long_

_I worry about you_

_While you're gone_

_I think of you_

_In my dreams_

_You'll never know_

_Just what you mean_

_To me…_

_To me…_

Somewhere in Jump City, her friend, her teammate, her partner, her lover; was making a difference in the lives of an excitable young couple. Helping them to get a new vehicle for their own budding family, one that was reliable, one they could afford, and without being scammed or bullied into paying more than was fair. There was something of an irony to Robin's profession, Raven mused. He was one of the most upright citizens, and he was now fighting an entirely different brand of crime on his own terms, completely within the law, and thriving on his own, taking care of their little family. They had all melded into society a little more since gaining a few years. Beast Boy worked part-time at the salad bar in the mall, doing his best to promote vegetarianism and have some spending money in his pocket. Cyborg worked on doing warranty repairs and customizations for Robin's customers, and the two split the profits. Cyborg loved having an excuse to tinker in the garage, and Raven sometimes found herself wandering that way to help him out. While she wasn't really a car aficionado, she made an effort to be somewhat more open with her friends. Ever since she and Cyborg had bonded when he initially constructed the T-Car years ago, it had kind of become their thing. The burly man still did most of the work, but there were times when it felt good to get her hands duty, to accomplish something.

Beast Boy and Cyborg weren't the only ones who did things outside fighting crime. Starfire lent her powers of flight, starbolts, and considerable strength out the city when called upon. She did not work constantly—her abilities could easily put other people out of work. But more than once, when a government construction project wasn't going to come in on time or on budget, the battle between the government bean counters and the unions. If certain clauses in the contract revolving around scheduling and budgeting, The Tamaranian would go to work and finish things quickly. Starfire wasn't well liked by the older, more influential construction unions, but the way she was allowed to assist got things accomplished while also keeping average people employed, and for the time being, it was her way of giving back to everyone in Jump City who had helped make it into her adoptive home.

Terra was not left out. It had taken three years of careful meditation and honing, but the beautiful blonde had slowly but steadily grown more control over her powers. It wasn't a complete mastery—the problem being that the risk it would involve to test the greatest reaches of her power could be disastrous if it overwhelmed her. But now she could use it heroically as needed without doing more harm than good. In honor of the Titans, they city had allowed Terra to use her unique skills to break ground on Titans park a year ago, a sprawling, outdoor recreation area dedicated to the Teen Titans in gratitude for their efforts in making Jump City a better place. Not only had the honor been symbolic, but her ability to break the ground so easily had taken over a month off the construction timetable. Raven did admire how far the girl had come. The mess she had been after having her past returned to her contrasted starkly with the confident girl she was today. She had suffered much in life, and Raven was glad she had played a role in making the blonde into the young woman she was today—not only a Titan and a member of society, but godmother and role model to her own daughter, Rain.

Raven turned away from the window, following the thought to some uncomfortable places. Put side-by-side, both Terra and herself had a lot of similarities. They both had troubled backgrounds. Both of their parents were dead. Each of them had to struggle and focus to control their powers. Their lives had been marked by tragedy. They struggled to overcome their pasts. They were slowly replacing the hurt in their lives with something warmer. And they were both close to Robin.

No, that wasn't fair. Okay, so there was this complex _thing _between Robin and Terra, but it was not something she should be jealous of. But she was. The Envy within her hated the blue-eyed blonde with a passion. But that was an emotion Raven kept under tight control. Robin and Terra were friends. They had not done anything to betray her trust, even though it was likely both tempting and easy. The two of them had freely pursued other romantic interests, and Raven had come to understand that their love was exclusive and altogether different. Robin had never made a play for Terra. No, he had chosen to actively pursue her, forsaking even his burgeoning relationship with Starfire for her own dubious charms. The girl was not a threat. Logically and rationally, Raven knew this. But on days like today, when she wasn't at her best, Raven still felt bristling hostility beneath the surface. Perhaps it was the fact that Terra was always kept so close by the two of them. The girl was very much involved with helping to raise Rain. She was undeniably good with children, watched her responsibly, cared for Rain like a baby sister. Raven could not take that kind of joy away from her own daughter.

Bye-bye, baby Don't be long

_I worry about you_

While you're gone

Perhaps Robin could make better sense of it. If she could just somehow talk about this with him. But she hated the idea of letting him in with this, of him thinking that she was so insecure. It just wasn't her. She was not insecure. She was…healthily concerned about their relationship. Yes, that sounded much better.

Bye-bye, baby Don't be long

_I worry about you_

_While you're gone _

Nothing had changed between herself and Robin. Nothing had changed between Robin and Terra, either. She would have been able to see the deviations in their auras. Everything was as it should be. So what was the big deal? What was gnawing away at her that she couldn't quite get ahold of?

_I think of you _

_Night and Day_

_I'll never know_

_Just what you meant_

_To say…_

_To say…_

Sighing, Raven let the matter go for now. She should return to her meditation. Seeking the void at the center of her emotional chaos could often bring forth the answers unbidden to her. Her meditation had gone incomplete that morning. Perhaps therein would be the answer. Or, at least, an answer. And sometimes, one answer could lead to others.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Robin leaned back in the chair at his desk, punching away at an electronic adding machine. The computerized display included all important options, pricing, and fees on his screen while also providing a running tally to his clients on a smaller screen built into the desktop, facing them. "Okay, so, based on your needs, I'm thinking you need either an oversized compact, or maybe a midsize. Depends on what you're willing to spend. I don't like to waste time showing you around the lot at cars you neither need or want."

Mr. Davenport wore a wry grin. "You're not a salesman, are you?"

"I'm my own kind of salesman. Look, I could be like everyone else around here and shake your hand fifty times and tell you about value and reliability and add-ons and all that other junk. Or the three of us can just talk seriously about the kind of car you need, what you'd like it to include, and what you can afford. Maybe you won't walk out of here with your dream car. That's not what I sell. But what I won't try to sell you is a bunch of stuff you don't care about." Robin said flippantly."

"Doesn't that upset management?"

"I would probably be fired if I were anyone else. But I'm Robin. I'm not just a hero, I'm also a citizen. And I'm someone that people should be able to trust. I'm not about to let anyone commercialize me into some kind of gimmick to sell cars. I do this because I want to. I get paid adequately. And I get to help normal, everyday people like yourself out while also cutting through the usual dealership bull. It's a Win-Win in my book."

"Mr. Robin, something tells me you're going to be seeing us five or six years from now."

"Why wait that long?" Robin grinned. "You just let me know when you need work done on your vehicle. I guarantee you, Cyborg and I will do it better, faster, and for the going rate you'll find in the city. And just between you and me, definitely cheaper than the dealer. Don't let that one get around." Robin smirked. "Now, your wife said you're having twins. Congratulations on that. So, let's figure your children will be between five and six years old when you're looking to get another vehicle. The seats in our compact model should be accurate. Depending on what you're looking to spend, we can upgrade that to the luxury model. I'll go over the details, but it's like getting all the perks of a midsize in a compact.

"With leather seats?" Mrs. Davenport asked.

"I can do that. Barring extras, I can get you out of here in a high end compact for…" Robin looked the couple in the eye, pausing for dramatic effect but also trying to size up their basic financial situation with his detective skills, carefully observing the condition of their clothing, the brand name on Mrs. Davenport's purse, the Timex watch on her husband's arm. "Eighteen-Nine pre-tax. Roughly Twenty-One Seven out the door, excluding any extras you might want to have."

Henry Davenport beamed. "So far, you're speaking our language, Mr. Robin."

Robin extended a hand towards the candy dish on his desk, grabbing a lemon drop and proffering some to the couple as well. "With leather seats, of course."

Miria Davenport, the wife, wasn't convinced. "What about financing?"

"Well, that's the one thing that's out of my control. It's controlled by your credit score, your current debt extensions, and your income. But, I can tell you this—the more you can put down now, the better you'll be off. So, I'm just going to ask you this. Can you afford to pay as high as Three-Seventy a month? It might be noticeably less, but running the numbers, that's a really close ballpark to what you should be paying at eight percent interest, which is on the high side anyway. The better your credit report comes out, the less you're likely to pay in interest, so the payments would be lower. We could also talk about going from five years to six years if need be."

Henry and Miria looked at each other and began whispering, probably talking about all the other financial decisions they had to make and the costs of having two children. Robin didn't interrupt them or try to fill their heads with nonsense. Cars were expensive. He couldn't really change that—but he could keep people from being marketed and talked into a bunch of things they didn't need. His governing philosophy was that every customer should leave in the car they _needed. _The rest of the sales team thought he was foolish, and Robn held no illusions—he only was allowed to do things his way because of who he was. His very presence at this dealership meant merchandise was moving off the lot quickly, even if it was at a lower rate than the bean counters preferred. He never cheated the company, they always made a fair profit. And he took home enough. Rain wasn't wanting for anything, not with four other Titans to spoil her, and Raven had so few material wants. She was happy with a steady supply of varying herbal teas, parchments, ink, and of course, books. Books were something she tore through endlessly. She read everything, from classic fiction to encyclopedias, romance to horror, adventure to mystery, biographies and histories. And she always wanted the physical book, she was not at all fond of reading electronically. It was hard for Robin to even fathom the image of Raven sitting on the sofa at home, her hands wrapped around a Kindle instead of an actual book. It just wouldn't be her.

Shaking his head, Robin returned to the matter at hand as he saw the Davenports seemed ready to move on. "Well, Mr. Robin, I think we would be more comfortable with closer to three hundred a month."

"It might be doable." Robin offered. "Tell you what, let's see what the finance department has to say. I think that by the end of the day, you'll be driving out of here in a new car for a price we can all live with."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

It was in the afternoon that Raven made her way back to the Common Room of the Tower. She had spent nearly two hours meditating, and another forty-five minutes engrossed in studying scrolls for Timbala. She had come down to the kitchen to find something to eat. As she recalled, there was a large bowl of miso soup in the fridge, one of the rare foods Beast Boy ate that other members of the team could actually agree on. Raven methodically poured a serving for herself into a small pot and placed it on the stove to heat. She glanced up at the clock. It was after two, a little late for lunch, but she was eating late. Knowing Robin, he probably wouldn't get home until at least seven anyway. The tower seemed quiet except for the faint echoes of Cyborg's power tools from below, no doubt working on one of the Titans' vehicles or perhaps a special job for one of Robin's customers. The others were missing, likely having absconded with her daughter. Raven had planned on spending some time reading to the girl this afternoon. It was an activity that they were able to bond with, and Raven did feel it was very important for her daughter to grow up and be a reader. Wondering where the others had gotten to, Raven activated her communicator, putting out a general call to see who answered first, deliberately leaving Cyborg and Robin out. Especially Robin. She had already had her daily dose of humiliation, thank you.

Starfire was the one who answered first, which somehow seemed fitting. "Raven, you are no longer busy?"

"I'm just making a little lunch." The dark-haired beauty explained "Where are you guys?"

"Terra and I have taken Rain to the playground. Along with Beast Boy. He and Terra are helping Rain to play on the slide."

"And we're trusting Beast Boy not to drop my daughter on her head?"

"I do not understand." Starfire appeared confused. "Why would we wish to test your daughter's durability?"

"It's more of an expression…" Raven began.

"On my planet, our offspring may be 'dropped on their head' in order to test their overall threshold for pain and resilience." Starfire explained.

Raven blinked, staring into her communicator. "Isn't that rather dangerous?"

"No, Tamaranian young have a hard skull. As we grow older,the extra cartilage is absorbed back into our body and used for other purposes. This trait happens to be rather handy when we begin learning to fly. I myself remember taking many impacts to my _grolnik _without suffering any long-term damage."

A number of sarcastic responses ran through Raven's head. This was just too easy a setup. Struggling momentarily, Raven decided to discard the first three things that came into her head. Starfire was her friend. Starfire had even given Robin to her, freely. And it was not a small sacrifice. The red-haired beauty had cried by herself at night for nearly two weeks after the confrontation. It still nagged at the goth. Starfire was always her friend, and while neither of the women had been particularly close, they were still something like family, and in their own ways, attempted to understand one another. What had happened with Robin, it was something of a betrayal. It was not something Raven could ever be proud of. Rather, it was just something Raven had learned to live with in time.

After Melchior, romance had not been something that Raven was wont to pursue for some time. It wasn't that she had vowed never to try again, but rather that she never wanted to be fooled so easily. There had also been the enormous factor of her birthday, the one she had dreaded her entire life. What use was there to care for someone else in that manner if it could only end in tremendous pain?

But that had passed. Robin had helped her transcend it. He had done what he always did, for himself, for the team, for the people of Jump City. Robin had turned certain death into a fighting chance for life, and in that pivotal moment, Raven had grasped it, and sent her father back to the hell from whence he had come. It had been so surreal at the time, like she had been watching herself confront Trigon rather than actually doing it, drawing on the strength of herself, the strength of her friends, the strength of Robin. For the first time, she was breathing him Everything about Robin felt so right. He was her best friend. He was the one that the many faces of her within Nevermore could agree on. Robin understood her dark background. Robin did not mistake her need for emotional neutrality to mean she was devoid of emotions. Robin was always concerned but respected her desire for privacy. Robin did not push himself on her. Robin would not betray her. Robin was strong. She and Robin had touched minds. Robin's genes were desirable. Robin's company was desirable. She found Robin…agreeable. Pleasing, even. He was her best friend. Was it so wrong, so unnatural, for them to be more?

No, it wasn't. But still, she hadn't originally intended for things to be so intense, so intimate. He belonged to Starfire, the alien's heart burned for him. And there was no question that Robin had cared for the naïve, beautiful, green-eyed girl. Raven respected that. And yet when Robin had decided to return to Gotham for a year to supplement the city's signature hero, he had asked her to come, not Starfire. And she had said yes.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Three Years Ago…

Robin stood on the roof of Titans Tower. Terra was there, sitting at the far end, her legs dangling off the roof, goggles dangling from her neck in anticipation of a need she hoped would never come. Robin approached her, letting his footsteps fall heavy to announce his presence. Not that it was necessary. She could sense him, always. It was a condition unique to the two of them, something of a blessing and a curse mixed into one. She was expecting him, had pleaded for his presence through their bond, and he felt obligated to comply.

Smiling for the blonde girl, Robin moved to sit next to her. "Everything alright?" He asked gently, resisting the urge to muss her straight hair.

"Not everything." She said quietly. Perhaps his choice of words had been poor. When it came to Terra, nothing would ever be completely okay for her. It had been six months since Robin had helped restore her memory—but it wasn't getting much easier. Her past was something that she had to deal with. And she did. Every day."

"I saw you with Beast Boy, yesterday." He smiled. "I was glad to see you look a little more comfortable around him. He really cares, and he wants to go as slow as you need."

"I know. I just…I wish I could be what he's looking for. It's like I've forgotten how. He's always so good to me. Too good, after all I've done. I care for him so much, but it's like I can't show it." She paused, sniffing. "Every time I try to let him know, even just a little, it's like my heart seizes up, and all I can see are the bad times. I try to remember the good, try to tell him, tell myself, that it wasn't an act. I know I played with your trust, deceived you all…but it wasn't an act with Beast Boy. Hell, it wasn't really an act with any of you. I wanted you, all of you. For once in my life, I was surrounded by people who weren't afraid of me, who accepted me for what I was. And I exchanged that truth for a lie and empty promises."

"Terra, that's all over now. Look, I'm not going to excuse away everything you did. But none of us are trying to lord your past over you. For what it's worth, I understand why you did it. I understood before our minds were joined." He finally reached out to gently stroke her hair. "You just wanted to control your power. You'd hurt so many people with it that you cared about. You weren't a monster. You never meant to. But it happened. And Slade promised you he could give you what you always wanted."

"That doesn't make it right." She said darkly.

"No. But it sure as hell makes you human. And as humans, we're prone to making mistakes. Sometimes really big ones. Forgiveness is another human trait, you know. Just let it go. Embrace who you are now, not who you were then."

Terra wiped at her eyes with a gloved hand, looking upwards at the sky as a few tears continued streaming down her cheeks. "Why couldn't it just be you and I?" She whispered. "This would be so much easier if we were the ones who loved each other. You know everything about me, and I know much about you. A little more each day." She smirked slightly, sniffling.

"Terra…"

"I know." She said. "It would just…be so much simpler. It's hard to be close to Beast Boy when you're inside me all the time. I try to think of him and I end up thinking about you. And yet if I'm truly honest with myself,…my feelings for him never changed. I love him, Robin. But I don't know how to get close anymore. You're the only one I know how to be close to, and it makes things very…"

"Confusing?" The masked boy asked, smiling.

"Totally." She breathed, letting out a breath.

"I'm sorry about all this. I never meant to do this to us."

Terra reached out with her hand, grasping his, rubbing the material of her leather gloves against his own. She looked up into his eyes, lacing her fingers through his. "Don't be sorry." She told him earnestly. "Never be sorry. You were right to do this, no matter the consequences."

"But Beast Boy is the one who deserves to know you like this."

"Yes. But Beast Boy wouldn't have been able to fix me like you did. He might have been lost within my darkness forever. It still tries to take me most days. I survive because I can draw strength from you. I'm alive because of you, Robin. And no matter who I love, I don't regret this. You gave me something that no one else could. And I would not trade it away. I…"

"Terra?"

"I have to ask you something. I have to know." She reached out to him with her free hand, placing it on her shoulder while gently squeezing the hand already twined with his.

"What?"

"Do you want me?" She breathed in a whisper so light it was almost inaudible. But the mixture of fear, apprehension, nervousness, hope, and trepidation on her face betrayed the meaning he couldn't miss.

"I…Terra, what I…"

She shook her head. "This thing between us, we have to deal with it somehow. Maybe if we just…indulge it, complete each other…we can move past it." She shut her eyes. "Robin…it would feel so good, you know it…"

"Not to those we would hurt in the process." Robin argued.

"We are closer now then we would be as ordinary lovers." She explained. "I don't want to hurt Beast Boy…but I can't keep facing that look in his eyes, seeing him disappointed, trying to hide it…if we make love, maybe this thing between us can finally be satisfied and fade to a more manageable echo."

"Or it could explode into-"

"Something complicated." She whispered. "I know. What I don't know is which is the greater sin? Making love to you in the hopes that it will free me to be closer to the boy I love, or being honorable but always have this wall in between Beast Boy and I."

Robin pursed his lips. "You really have thought about this, haven't you?"

"Whatever we choose, we have to live with it. And I'm not kidding myself, Robin. I'm scared either way. But you gave me a part of yourself so that I could not only survive, but in time, learn to thrive on my own." 

"I have a part of you as well, Terra."

"You do, but someone else already received such a thing for me. Or took it, anyway."

"Slade." Robin's voice darkened, as though the very name invoked his presence.

Terra looked him in the eye, her blue eyes seeking to penetrate his mask. She squeezed her fingers in his harder, bringing the hand on his shoulder up to cup his cheek. "But as a woman, there is something that I can give you. Something I can only give once and to whomever I choose. I've thought long and hard about this Robin. And under all the circumstances, I want you to have it. It just…feels like the right thing to do."

A million different physical and verbal responses seemed to flourish within the hero at the moment, from taking her in his arms and enjoying everything she had to offer to running away, screaming. It was all so dreadfully complicated. She looked so perfect, so adorable, so full of need. A need he wanted to sate for her. But he couldn't betray Beast Boy like this, couldn't hurt Starfire like that, couldn't bear to face Raven…

"Terra, I just..."

She looked away, already knowing what he would say. "It just can't be easy, can it?" She finished.

"It's not that I don't find you pleasing, Terra. And don't get me wrong, I find it very, very tempting." He breathed, his voice almost breaking. "It's like I always know what you feel and—"

"And it could only make this feel so incredible, for both of us."

"It would." Robin nodded. "But then how could we ever move on? How could you ever be with Beast Boy? How could I be with Starfire, when everything would seem so lacking. If we did this, Terra, it would hurt the others even more than under ordinary circumstances."

Terra stared into his eyes, so many emotions crossing her face—love, despair, fear. She didn't bother to hide the tears that began streaming down her face, and she clutched at him tightly. "I'm sorry…" She choked out between sobs, feeling more humiliated over what she had said than over being turned down. "Robin, I just…I don't know what to do. This thing between you and I…it's so intense, so…"

"I know. I'm working on it."

"What? How?"

"Terra, I…I have to go away for awhile. I'm kind of hoping that, with some time and distance, this whole thing will quiet itself, and we can get some semblance of normality back."

"Wait…you're leaving? Leaving because of me?" Her tears began to renew. "Please don't go!" She cried. "I'm sorry, I would never try to force you into something like this, Robin. I just don't know what else to do to make the longing stop. It hurts so much when Beast Boy looks at me so earnestly and he knows I'm holding back. He knows…and he knows why. I just thought that if we finished this, maybe we could both move on."

"In some ways, maybe we could." He hugged her strongly, wanting her to understand the difference between friendship and rejection. "But we also know that it would also make things worse in other ways. Besides…" He tilted her head towards his face, wiping away her tears. "…I'm not leaving because of you. A friend of mine, back in Gotham City. He needs some help for awhile. I told him I would come."

"You're not just saying that?" She asked, sniffling a bit in an effort to regain some control.

"No, I'm not."

"You're very good to me, Robin. You never give up."

"You don't either. I've watched you come this far, taken those steps with you. I know it isn't easy. Just remember to keep breathing, Terra. Even when I'm gone. And if you have trouble, you know who to call." He smirked.

"You're coming back?"

"After a time. Half a year or so. Don't worry, I promise you won't lose me. I'm not abandoning you or anyone else. In the meantime, you and Beast Boy can finally get out from under the shadow of me. Have some fun. Let yourself go a little. Most importantly, just be happy."

She let go of him, leaning backwards until her back hit the roof. "He can be so easy to love, sometimes…" She wondered aloud.

"Sounds like someone else I know."

Terra blinked, a smile crossing her face. "I thought we just decided that there wasn't going to be an us."

Robin shrugged. "We did. But love takes many forms."

"You won't leave without saying goodbye?"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Robin told her warmly, making his way back to the doorway that led inside.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Sometime later, after finishing up some lingering projects in the evidence room, Robin and Beast Boy crossed paths in the hallway.

"Dude, Terra just told me! You're really going back to Gotham City?" Beast Boy scratched his head, confused.

Robin nodded. "An old friend of mine needs some help. I'll be gone awhile."

"How long?"

"Six…maybe nine months."

"That long? But…what about Terra? I've been there for her the past three months, just like you said, but…"

"I know. Because of the link, she feels safer with me."

"Yeah…" Beast Boy's face appeared downcast, and the masked leader immediately put a smile on his own face.

"Hey, Beast Boy. Don't you worry. I promise you, it's not like that between Terra and I. I know we're close, and I know sometimes how it might look, but I promise you, nothing romantic is going on. I like Terra, I really do. And I won't lie, maybe if things were different, there could have been something. But that's just not an option for her and I. Not just because of you, but because of her and I." Robin placed a hand on her shoulder. "She loves you, Beast Boy. She's told me that. And I know it's awkward for her because of this connection she and I share, it makes emotions confusing, makes us…intimate. But she does love you, and she does want to be with you. Just give her some time. Hopefully with me gone for awhile, you can start to get back to the way you two were before everything went wrong. I know she would like that."

Beast Boy's eyes widened. "Dude. You could totally take her from me, and you're not? That's more than just a friend!"

"I'm a friend to her too Beast Boy. Even if I just wanted to steal her away, if I didn't care at all about you. Even if I did…then where would that leave her? No matter what happiness Terra and I might have, she's still in love with you. That won't change. And I have some feelings of my own that would interfere. Terra and I…we could be good, for a time. But we could end up really, really bad. When she was ready to talk, we did. And we decided that what we should be are really close friends, not lovers."

"Robin…I…dude…what I mean is…thanks. It's like, I know you're not the kind of guy to do something like that, but sometimes I see you two together, and I just feel so…"

"So much like any other guy would if it was his girl so close to someone else. It's okay. I care about you both. I want to see you happy together. Go ahead and pursue it. Just don't push too hard—let her set the pace. You know, I seem to recall there's a vampire movie marathon on tonight. Might be a good time for some stove-popped corn, some chocolate, your favorite beverages…and getting cozy on the couch. Hold onto her, Beast Boy. Let her know you're there. Let her know all the apprentice garbage is gone as long as she decides it is. And if you feel like you need my advice with her, call me."

Beast Boy wrapped Robin up in a decidedly un-manly hug, the green changeling feeling as though he were about to burst with affection for both his leader and the blonde girl he cherished above all others. "Thanks dude! I'm going to start preparing right now! You're the best Robin."

Robin smirked. "They don't call me the Boy Wonder for nothing." He stated, letting his friend wander off. Sighing to himself, Robin took a deep breath and continued his journey, stopping in front of Starfire's door to knock gently.

"It is open." The alien girl stated between sobs, and Robin winced as he thumbed the button that would allow him access.

Stepping inside, Robin gulped as he saw his green-eyed friend and significant other crying to herself on her bed, cradling Silkie with abandon. "Robin…"

"Starfire." He said quietly, walking to the bed and sitting down.

"Why are you leaving us? Why do you leave me?" She sniffed. "Am I no longer found to be pleasing?"

"No, Starfire. You're misunderstanding. I'm not leaving the Titans for good. I'm just going to help a friend. I'm coming back. And I'm not leaving you, either. I know it will be for awhile, but I'll be back before Christmas, I promise." He said, placing an arm around the orange-skinned beauty.

"But you will be so far away." She protested.

"For awhile." Robin nodded. "Don't worry, Cyborg has already agreed to lead in my stead. Plus Kid Flash and Jinx are going to rotate in to replace me-"

"You will not be replaced!" Starfire protested, raising her voice.

Robin cleared his throat. "What I mean is, they will fill out the rest of the team while I'm away in Gotham City. Besides," Robin smiled, "I thought you liked Jinx? You two could be roomies again."

Starfire sighed, sitting up to be closer to him. "I have missed my friend. But she is not you, Robin. Why must you go for so long?"

"I'm sorry, Starfire. It's just something I have to do. Part of who I am." Robin clenched his fist. "You'll see. Days will turn to weeks, weeks to months, and before you know, I'll be walking through the front door of the tower, ready to be tackled by you." He smiled, gently stroking her hair. "We'll be all right."

"Robin…"

The boy wrapped his hands around her own, squeezing softly yet strongly. "Star…I'm coming back. I promise. I won't leave you alone."

She said nothing, looking directly at him, her eyes green and bright, declaring her sorrow, her adoration. She leaned closer, and understanding her meaning, Robin resisted only a moment before tilting his head to kiss her, reassuring her that his decision to leave the team temporarily had nothing to do with her. She was not being rejected. And so he did not hesitate when she wrapped her arms around his neck, tears still escaping her eyes, her throat quivering with sobs she stifled. She held onto him like he was the only other being in existence, and for the length of that moment, he was content for that to be the case.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Hours later, Robin sat in his room, packing several spare outfits and some personal effects. He wouldn't need many tools with Batman's seemingly endless supply of crime fighting technology so closeby, but Robin wasn't willing to give up his identity as a hero. He was no longer Batman's apprentice, he was his own man, doing what he could to help a friend.

Robin was not surprised when his door slid open, announcing a guest. It had been unlocked, as she was expected. Raven entered the room without bothering to say anything, allowing the door to shut behind her. "You didn't tell her, did you?" Raven quipped, knowing the answer to her question in advance.

"I couldn't really find a way to tell her." Robin sighed. "She was already thinking I was breaking up with her, I had to use some…considerable skill to disabuse her of that notion."

"I'll bet." Raven rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, I figured if I told her I was bringing you with me, she would misunderstand and think…"

"That there was something going on between us." Raven finished for him. "I get it."

"She'll figure it out soon enough. Hopefully Jinx will help keep her distracted. Besides, our little princess of misfortune is looking forward to proving herself. I think she wants to be better than you."

If Raven were a free spirit, she would have laughed. She certainly felt like it. Briefly, she allowed herself to enjoy the emotion for what it was, internally drinking in the sensation before compartmentalizing it and sending it off for Mirth to play with in Nevermore. "She can try." The pale girl scoffed.

"I'm sure she will. Anyway, I just felt it wasn't the best course of action." Robin sighed. "I trust you realize that I do have an ulterior motive in asking you to come with me, aside from the rise of black magic and cults in the city."

"I doubt any of it will amount to much. Trigon's gone. He's not getting out again, that much I can promise. He doesn't have a hold on me anymore."

"Maybe not. But there may be other factors at play. You've dealt with a few in your time."

A bad memory itched at her that she immediately squeezed off. This was not the time. "You're hoping I can do something about your bond with Terra."

"It's not easy, Raven." Robin admitted, wiping his brow. "It's like, she's in my head all the time. The direct, conscious connection has faded, but even months later…I can still hear her voice, her laughter, her tears. I know everything about her. Not just her history, but all her nuances, what she likes and dislikes. If I were a total cad, I could totally go after her."

"Just be certain the fantasy doesn't become reality." Raven admonished.

"That's the problem." Robin sat down on his bed, tired. "We've talked. A lot. And it's not where we want to go. It would be so easy to just explore it, hold nothing back. We're so naked to each other now, it almost feels right. But this isn't how it's supposed to be. She loves Beast Boy, she really does. And I want her to. I don't want this from her. I mean, not that I don't like her, or that she's unattractive, it's just…"

"Artificial?" Raven offered.

"Yes. Yes! That's it exactly! This thing between Terra and I, we're not supposed to be in love. We're not in love, it's just that when you're so close to someone like this…"

"It becomes hard not to become attached to them."

"Yeah." Robin looked down. "I don't want that to happen. Terra finally has a chance to be happy with a guy who really likes her for who she is. She has a chance this time. I don't want that to be screwed up. And I…."

"And you?" Raven cocked an eyebrow.

"I…I'm a bit confused. There's Starfire, and she's good. And maybe something else I hadn't considered."

"Whatever you choose, you need to stick with it."

"Raven?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think that with some distance, and some meditation, I can maybe…quiet the link between me and Terra. I don't want to cut it entirely, just maybe dull it to something easier to live with?"

"I will try." The sorceress looked at him, feeling a measure of pity. "I did try to warn you, Robin. I wanted to spare you this."

"I learned something about myself through this, Raven. Something I might never have allowed myself to entertain, otherwise. If it pans out, then whatever else I have to deal with is worth it."

A sliver of a smile dawned on Raven's face. "Sometimes, the most rewarding part of my meditating is discovering something new about myself."

Robin nodded in agreement, then changed the subject. "Gotham is a big city. Different than Jump, but no less dangerous. With just the two of us, we'll need to count on each other a lot more. This won't be the same as being part of a team. I need us to be partners. We need to practice our moves, learn ways to make them complement each other. It will be a lot of work. But I've always been of the opinion that we work well together. And I'm hoping you can teach me enough mental discipline to keep the Terra in my head down to more of an echo than a voice." Robin explained. "What do you say? Partners?"

Robin extended a gloved hand towards her.

Raven stared at him for a moment, a little surprised at how seriously he was taking this. Still, the Boy Wonder was right. They needed to be closer, they needed to work in tandem, they needed to be their own dynamic duo. "Partners." Raven agreed, placing her hand in his. She didn't know why, but it was surprising how warm his hand felt in hers, as though the earnest of his words was being transmitted by his very touch. She found the way her hand fit in his to be agreeable.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Raven? Friend Raven, are you well?" Starfire asked through the communicator.

Raven blinked, clearing her head. Perhaps that was the start of something between her and Robin. But now was not the time to contemplate such things. The past was the past, and the present the present. Robin was hers now, freely given to her by the redhead who now stared back at her earnestly. It was almost amazing. Starfire must have been cut deeply by this, yet the alien treated her as though it had always been this way.

Raven sighed, trying to clear her mind. She had never meant for things to happen like this. Perhaps Starfire understood this. Or perhaps she valued friendship too much. Whatever her reasons, there was no hostility, and Raven remained grateful for that.

"I'm fine." She said at length. "Just a little off today. When you come back, I'd like to read to Rain. I want to give her an advantage for pre-school."

The Tamaranian turned away from the screen, and Raven could hear a flurry of excited, familiar voices. Moments later, the communicator was snapped up by Terra, who looked back at Raven with a bright expression, carrying Rain on her shoulders.

"Raven! You've got to see this! I think Rain is trying to talk!" The blonde girl practically squealed, and Terra laughed as a tiny girl with jet black hair and dark blue eyes grabbed fistfuls of blonde hair, causing poor Terra to wince. "Ow, Rain, careful…ah! Beast Boy! A little help!" There was some more scuffling, and Raven heard some grunting and struggling as her daughter was transferred from Terra's shoulders to the dubious arms of Beast Boy. Terra rubbed at her scalp, which ached from the energetic girl's tugging. "She thinks I'm a petting zoo." Terra sulked for a moment, then regained her usual smile. "I keep telling her that's what Beast Boy is for."

"Nice to know one of us finally found a use for him." Raven quipped. "So what's going on?"

"I think Rain is trying to talk!" Terra tittered excitedly. "You've got to see this, Raven. We'll bring her back soon, I don't want you to miss it. You should call Robin! He won't want to miss this."

A shudder coursed through Raven's body at the prospect of having to talk to Miria Davenport again. She decided in that moment that Robin could wait. "He's, ah, a bit busy today. I'll get Cyborg out of the garage and have him record this. Thanks for telling me, Terra."

"I could never let you miss something like this! I'm telling you Raven, Rain is so beautiful and brilliant. Are you sure you and Robin haven't talked about having another baby?"

Raven blanched. What was it with people wanting her to be pregnant again lately? If Terra had any idea how difficult pregnancy was, she wouldn't be suggesting it to others. "No, no we haven't. That would be a_ huge_ decision, Terra. Even bigger than the ones we made when we first found out I was pregnant."

"Sorry." Terra said sheepishly. "It's not like I mean to push or anything, I just…you two created something really wonderful, you know that? It just makes me want to see what other combinations of your genes can accomplish."

"Perhaps in time." Raven nodded, not wanting to either commit herself to the prospect or throw it out entirely. "You're coming home."

"We'll be there soon. I'll see if I can keep Rain babbling until then." She smiled, giving a 'V' sign and then winking out from Raven's communicator, leaving the quiet, lavender haired woman alone with her thoughts.

Rain was trying to talk. This was a big thing. To think that three years ago, the thought of being in a stable, romantic relationship was a completely foreign concept to her. Now she was in one, she had procreated with said mate, and their offspring was already beginning to display cognitive function. Life had this funny way of sneaking up on her. All the things in life she had once been so certain she would never experience were revealing themselves to her, becoming opportunities she had grasped without ever even realizing she had been at the time. Her very life had once seemed so short, so devoid of hope or meaning or purpose, and now it stretched out before her, like a snowball rolling downhill, gathering size and speed as it went. More people were being added to the tapestry each year, and while Raven still considered herself to be a private person, she had slowly allowed herself to become more comfortable with normality. Sometimes it was so simple—the presentation of the family dynamic between herself, Robin, and Rain. The little girl had changed their lives so much, the other Titans included, and, even though Rain could often be trying and willful for such a young girl, Raven had found that she took pride in her daughter. After all, in many subtle ways, the girl was like her. Raven did envy her daughter's ability to experience her emotions completely, not having to worry about being swept away. But, it was an envy fueled by her love—Raven had quickly discovered through motherhood that, indeed, the human desire to see the children surpass the parents was alive and healthy within her.

Rain was trying to talk. Wouldn't Robin be surprised? Raven had never been much for anticipation, although much of her life had been spent doing exactly that. An idea began to dawn on the pale sorceress. Perhaps it was a little sudden, but the image in her mind suddenly felt a little more clear, a little more right. Uncharacteristically, she opened her emotional bond with Robin, channeling a mixture of warmth, affection, and general satisfaction towards him. Raven normally opened and closed their emotional link like a valve, using it to express things she was too afraid to do normally for fear of explosive empathic backfeed, or just to avoid having to show things in public. There was nothing secretive about her overall feelings for Robin—but that didn't mean that she cared to put on a display for everyone around her, be they family, friends, or total strangers. Robin had once said he found it cut the way he tried to hide their relationship like a teenage schoolgirl. She had responded by telling him she thought it was cute that he had to bunk with Beast Boy for a few days. After that, mysteriously, his teasing had stopped.

Not unexpectedly, Robin's emotional reciprocation was like a tight embrace, enveloping her in warmth and love that she allowed to overtake her. Sitting down on the sofa, Raven shut her eyes and allowed herself to indulge in the moment. Idly, she wondered if Rain's agreeable nature that morning at breakfast were an omen of good things to come. One thing was certain—Robin was going to come home to an exciting night.

Author's Notes

Let me just start by getting the legal disclaimer out of the way. The lyrics towards the beginning of this chapter are from the song "Worry About You" by Ivy. I make no claim to them being my own original work and no ownership of any kind is expressed or implied. I and am not profiting, nor attempting to profit, off of their use. End of legalese.

I took me about a week, but I've finally managed another update. Not nearly so long as last time, but the tone is also a lot different. _The Human Stain _storyline was meant to be very high drama, an idea of the difficult journey that Terra had to take to get her memories back. Even so, I've implied she had to endure much after that night to turn her into the relatively well-adjusted girl we see in the "modern" storyline. Over time, I will tell those stories, but I mostly try to reveal things in a way they will eventually relate to Raven. Terra plays a very large role in this story, but ultimately, she is not the star. I've made the decisions about these sorts of things and where I want this story to go already, and overall, I'm satisfied with it. I certainly don't think that it's perfect, but it is really allowing me to revisit some of the more complicated things from my own past and create some remarkable fiction out of those experiences. I've taken some of the women from my past that I was not able to help and put them into Terra, while also taking some of the insecurities of both myself and others and applied them to Raven, all the while trying to stay true to the characters. The result is a story that I'm deeply enamored with, although this also means that I am likely it's biggest fan. As I've already stated, I'm fine with that. It's important to me for this work to say something when it's finished—even if I'm the only one who appreciates it. More than anything else I've ever taken the time to write, this story is for myself. Still, it does mean something to me that other people click on it and read it. It would interest me greatly to know what they think. Even if you hate it, that's fine. Honestly I have no clue what almost anyone reading this story thinks of it, so it's difficult for me to know where I've gone right and where I've gone wrong. I'm just throwing darts at the board based on how I see things.

At any rate, not so crushingly long an update this time. Lengthy, but smaller than the last two by a good measure. I tried to incorporate all the characters well. Cyborg didn't really appear but he is not forgotten—I'm already working on an important scene with him in chapter five, so don't think the big guy will be ignored. I've also got several scenes in my head for when Robin comes home from work, signifying the start of the weekend in Titans Tower. I'll also continue to show shadows of the backstory—further explaining the Robin/Terra bond, the circumstances under which Robin and Raven's relationship began, how Starfire was able to cope with losing her boy to a friend, and of course, Terra's progress from a wretched mess of a girl into a functional member of the team. I've noticed that some people who prefer the Robin/Raven pairing, like myself, have a dislike of Starfire. I actually like the wasterfully cheerful alien girl, I just don't think she works with Robin. But as such, I am having fun developing ideas for her character to keep her three-dimensional and to show the role she has taken in the changing relationships.

Next update will hopefully come next week. I do most of my writing at work these days. Unfortunately, there's a triple-whammy of problems going on there starting today, so I have to spend all my time actually, well, working. I don't expect it to last for an extended time, and I already have started writing chapter five, so just bear with me, it will be up soon enough, of that I'm certain.

All this said, I hope that you'll all enjoy continuing to come along for the ride. I promise to do what I can to make it memorable! If you've been following my fics for any length of time, you know what follows! Please send all your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

9/1/11

5:46AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26


	5. Bondage

Chapter Five: Bondage

Having indulged in the overall positive feelings and energy that she was feeling from the news that Rain was babbling, Raven decided to share this news with the one member of their family who has not yet aware. Fortunately, Cyborg was never hard to find. If he wasn't in the basement, improving the T-Car or working on some custom or warranty work for one of Robin's clients, then the burly, metallic man could usually be found in the kitchen, looking for a snack that would easily be three of four meals for Raven's daintier frame. And since it was obvious that Raven was alone on the main floor, that left the basement garage. Why not? I had been a few weeks since she and Cyborg had really talked at length, and she knew how to keep him company and lend small amounts of assistance without getting underfoot. Casually, Raven teleported herself through the floor, floating into the upper rafters of the garage and gingerly lowering herself down to stand on the floor. "Hi." She greeted simply, offering a slight wave, and Cyborg resounded in kind, turning down the volume on his boombox to a more reasonable level.

"Raven! What brings you down here? Come to check on how my baby is doing?"

"Honestly? We've rebuilt that thing so many times, I think that you have more original parts than the car." She stated simply. It was an honest assessment, not meant as an insult, but there will still people who could get a comment like that past Cyborg without trouble.

"Sad but true." The dark-skinned Titan agreed. "But every time, I try to make her a little bit better. I'm not one to give up easily."

"Well, I'd certainly never fault you for design. The ride is pretty smooth when it's in one piece." She offered, examining a small cart containing a can of grease and what looked to be the lugnuts to one of the tires. "Changing out the tires?"

"More like I'm having trouble deciding which ones I like best. They're all great, but this is the T-Car. It has to be the pinnacle of both performance and style." Cyborg grinned.

Raven shook her head, not in disagreement, but in wonder at her friend's attraction to the inanimate object. It was clearly something he should probably be seeking out help for. But then, therapy was something Raven knew she might also benefit from, and yet she still preferred the benefits of her own quiet contemplations and solitude. "About what we were discussing this morning. Maybe we do need a car. To blend in better, if nothing else. Nothing advertises our presence like Robin rolling in on his signature motorcycle or me flying in from above. I'd rather not paint a target on my daughter for any would be kidnappers or ne'er-do-wells out there."

"Boo-yah! Oh yeah, now this is something I've been thinking about since you first came home pregnant! I've had my dreams on a little child of my own to complement yours, so to speak. Not quite as flashy as the T-Car, of course, and a bit more practical, but still…I've been bugging Robin to let me do this for you guys for awhile!."

"You know, it doesn't have to be just for us." Raven began. "We should have a more practical car we can all use when we're not being heroes. Sometimes, being incognito saves a lot of headaches."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, because I know you're not dissing the T-Car!"

"No disrespect intended. It's actually been rather useful at times. But it's also associated with us."

"Hmm, alright, I can see the point there. There are times when it's better not to advertise our presence."

"Especially when we aren't about to get into a fight. And if we're bringing a child with us."

"Ah, Beast Boy can take care of himself. He's even housebroken." Cyborg grinned, and Raven had to admit, it was a good joke. She rewarded her teammate with a smirk.

"Thank you for reminding me. Sometimes I have to remember that we're raising two children."

"Terra seems to be hoping there will be more."

Raven sighed, focusing on her inner calm. "Cyborg, I'm not pregnant. I know my body. I'm in touch with my spirit. And most importantly, I haven't been engaging in any sexual activity during any period that could result in conception. I was nauseous this morning because I felt sick. I wasn't queasy yesterday, and I doubt I will be tomorrow either. Sometimes a little nausea is just a little nausea."

"If you say so." Cyborg relented, holding his arms out in front of him in surrender. "But if you do decide to have another child, I just think you should know we're all totally supportive."

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Not that I'm one to air my dirty laundry, but you are aware that Robin and I didn't exactly plan to have Rain. She was a happy accident. It wasn't what we had planned, but once she became our reality, we both decided that we wanted her."

"Well, I never really talked to either of you about it. You're both kind of secretive about your personal lives, and I can understand that. I've got things I'd rather not talk about. But I admit to always having been a little curious. I never really saw it before. Now I wonder how I ever could have missed it."

"In my observances of the interactions between men and women, my own included, I have found that there isn't a great deal of logic or rationality behind things. Maybe it was just timing. I was there when he needed me, and I was a little vulnerable myself. That's why I take so many precautions not just where my own emotions are concerned, but others as well."

"But you do have them. We've all seen them before."

Raven sighed, torn between wanting to talk to someone else about her difficulties with simply living, yet not wanting to make herself vulnerable and exposed—even to someone who was like family to her. Absently, she picked a wrench off of Cyborg's workbench, feeling the heavy metal in her hands, the expert way in which it had been molded. It was a contrast to her own being, which at times felt as though it had been haphazardly thrown together. Her life was a series of compromises so that she could live without causing harm to others. Perhaps with some irony, Raven noted that she didn't really feel any resentment towards those who lived more normal lives. In the grand scheme of things, she liked who she was. And she liked being unique. The insight that her empathy gave her was worth the tradeoff of needing to keep her emotions under control. And it was…fun to explore them a little in safe environments. Dabbling a little here and there. It was not that she didn't know her own feelings, more that she just had to be very careful about experiencing them. Robin had found a way to cut through that. When he held her, it was as though she could feel without really having to. He could work with so very little, and was content to feel her through the emotional bond they had developed.

Cyborg looked at her expectantly, waiting for her response. Words felt so clumsy to her sometimes. Countless hours reading books, and she so often found she didn't have words to convey what she felt. It was never as easy as it was with Robin, but then, if her relationship with everyone else were that intimate, it would cheapen the connection she had with the young man who, despite driving her to no end of frustration and annoyance at times, felt so right in her arms, in her mind, in her heart.

"I do." She said simply, trying to find the proper words. "And they can be pretty intense. It isn't always easy, but I do my best to show my affections in ways which his detective skills can't possibly miss, even if it isn't obvious. It's something of a game we play."

"And when you're annoyed at him?"

"I'm always annoyed at him." She smirked. "That comes with the territory. But the things that I do generally enjoy, they far outweigh the frustrations. If you hadn't noticed, I'm not exactly the dating type. For that matter, neither is Robin. He's a lot more personable when he chooses to be, but like me, he has those things he doesn't like to share with others. Robin and I, we've seen each other's pieces broken. We've shared in the things that hurt us most. We draw strength from each other and are able to give one another the space we both need without necessarily having to be alone." Raven sighed. She hated talking about herself. She wasn't even sure why she was. Cyborg was someone she could open up to at times. It was almost an unspoken thing between them. He was probably her best confidante outside of Robin. Starfire was just too wastefully cheerful, not to mention how open she was with her emotions. The orange skinned girl was, in all honesty, her best female friend in the Tower. Slowly, over the years, they had reached an understanding with one another, something that had been initially born when they briefly switched bodies so long ago. It was that same understanding that had gotten them to an understanding about Robin in the first place.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Two Years Ago

"Starfire." Raven began simply, easing herself into a seat on the couch. The travel back to Jump City by train had been more difficult than she had anticipated, but Robin had advised they should keep a low profile and in her condition she certainly shouldn't be flying or riding a motorcycle. So, reluctantly, she had agreed. It hadn't been that that the trip was so difficult, but that she tired easily, and her ankles were swollen considerably. Her back was also suffering, the weight of carrying her child, combined with the natural increase in her chest at this stage of the pregnancy, meant she was hauling considerably more weight for her normally lithe figure. And, Raven mused, her unborn daughter also had a tendency to press against her bladder at inopportune times. Still, she was determined to cope. Of course, the innate difficulties of pregnancy were nothing compared to having to stare down her red-haired friend. Clearly, they had much to discuss.

"Raven." The alien spoke flatly. It was unusual for Starfire's voice to lack energy, but it was too be expected. She could be naïve sometimes, but Starfire was certainly not stupid. It was obvious what had happened, and it wasn't something Raven expected to explain away. Some cardinal rules had been broken. Lines had been crossed that shouldn't have been. And now, Raven was ready to make her atonement.

Raven sighed, taking a breath. "Starfire, I don't even know where to begin, but I'm going to try. I'm not going to sit here and make excuses, or give you reasons why this had to happen. I will tell you why it happened, in detail, if you want me to. But I won't lie to you."

"Perhaps not with words. But what about in your heart?" Starfire asked, offering no quarter.

"Starfire…I won't ask you for forgiveness. I have no right to that. You deserve the truth, Starfire. At least let me speak that. Do with it what you will afterwards."

Green eyes clashed with amethyst, but there was no heart in the fight. Both seemed to back down—Raven from knowing she had no right, and Starfire from knowing that nothing good would come of it. Just more division. More fracture. More pain.

"Proceed with your tale." Starfire said quietly, sitting down farther away from the sorceress than she had been before.

"Before I can say anything, I have to tell you this. This entire thing that's happened. Between Robin and I. It was never meant to have anything to do with you. There was nothing going on between us when we left for Gotham, and despite the fact that things have changed, it was never done with any intention to hurt you. For what it's worth, I tried to resist it. I truly did. But in the end, it was what I wanted. And I couldn't deny it any longer. I do love him, Starfire. I haven't even found a way to tell him that, yet. But I have to tell you-I need to tell you that." Raven breathed, wincing deeply as she realized she had just poured out her soul to someone—a practice she did not believe in.. "If you want to be angry at anyone, please be angry with me. I never intended for this…but I would be lying if I said that I didn't want it. That I want to go back to how things once were."

Starfire looked into the eyes of her teammate. It was difficult to understand, but there was a small part of the Tamaranian that actually felt sorrow for Raven. She felt sadness, because it was obvious that the paler girl was in emotional turmoil. Starfire could understand this, because she felt it too, her body tensing up. "Raven, I am upset." She held up a hand, not wanting to be interrupted. "I am upset because Robin is…was my boy, but it is obvious that is no longer the case. I am upset because of the feelings I do not know how to express. I am upset because you did not tell me sooner."

Raven looked away, slightly ashamed. "I wanted to. But I wasn't sure how. I never wanted to compete with you. I never had a right to-"

"It is done." Starfire said sternly. "You will tell me how it happened."

Raven sighed again. "It's not just one thing, Starfire. It was…everything, really. With me. With him. Where could I start?"

Starfire pursed her lips. "Where it began. For you."

Raven shook her head. "The truth."

"Please."

Raven shut her eyes. "Since before we left. She admitted. For me. Nothing was going on between us then. Nor did I have any designs on something happening. But I won't deny that there are certain things, certain parts of me, that only he could fix. When my father came, when Slade was delivering his messages from Trigon…look, Starfire. Robin saw all my pieces broken. He's the only one that ever has. Azar willing, he's the only one that ever will. After that time, I knew that I needed him on some level. But, it wasn't romantic. Robin has always been my best friend. When he asked me to go with him, it was because he wanted my help. Because I know about his past." Raven stretched out more on the sofa, feeling very tight all of a sudden. "Starfire, I'm sorry. If I had known it would happen like this…"

"Like what?" The alien pressed.

"I began to rely on his company. Truth be told, Robin may have been my best friend, but let's not kid ourselves, I'm not exactly a social person. But, that much time alone, in a more dangerous city…I guess we just opened up a little more. And we began to see something we hadn't seen in one another before. And slowly, in time, in little ways…we became something more. Until that night when I should have pushed him away and I didn't…couldn't…..wouldn't. I took him from you, Starfire. Not by force. Not by design. Maybe not even by intent. But I took him just the same. And I hate how much I know that must hurt you. But looking back, if I had to, I would do it again. Not out of spite. Not out of malice. But because it is who I am. And I won't deny that. I'm sorry."

"I see." Starfire said simply. "Then we will talk of this further at another time. I have not yet been willing to face Robin. Now may be the time to do so." The redhead stood, a mixture of emotions welling through her. She clenched her fist tightly. Being angry with Raven would doubtlessly provide her an outlet for her roiling emotions, but it would not reconcile herself and Robin, nor would it do anything to make the delicate situation any better for herself. "I am thankful for your honesty." She said with her back turned, crossing to the staircase and ascending it with purpose.

Raven counted the beats as Star's footsteps retreated into the upper portions of the tower, letting out a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding. She had just talked more about her own feelings with the alien girl than she had even discussed with Robin. It felt distinctly out of character, but for some reason, it was as though she couldn't stop. Maybe it had all just been pent up inside for so long, the guilt had finally gotten to her. "Ah, hell." Raven held her forehead in her right palm, suddenly trying to remember why she had wanted to come back to Jump City to begin with.

"It often feels just like that, doesn't it?"

Raven's ears pricked up at that sound. Just what she needed. "Perfect. It never rains…"

"…But it pours." Jinx finished for her, "Like I was saying. Life. It feels just like hell sometimes, doesn't it?"

"At least in hell, we can presume we know what we've done to wind up there." Raven offered. "Been having a difficult time?"

"I'm not about to stand here and try to compare it with yours." Jinx stated. "So, you and Birdboy. Can't say I didn't see that coming."

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Why?"

"he's suited to you." Jinx shrugged. "You two are very much alike. Not so much that you're mirror images, but you share the same goals, the same values. And you both tend to value your privacy."

"And that makes Robin and I _An Affair To Remember_?"

"It makes you compatible. Robin and Starfire just had the cute thing going on. She'll come around. I think she even wants to be happy for you."

"Aren't we being just a tad bit optimistic/"

"Yeah, well, Flash is always nagging me about being too pessimistic. Even if it means I'm the one whose right more often than not." Jinx smirked. "Give her time, she'll come around. I mean, you're having a baby and all. It makes a big difference."

"There are those who would argue it makes me a bigger homewrecker."

"Perhaps. But who was the aggressor in this. You, or Robin? Who pushed?"

"It wasn't like that. This wasn't a courtship. It was just what happened between us."

Jinx scoffed at her. "Oh bullshit. There was definitely a courtship—you're just in denial. The only time there isn't a courtship is if you're just in it for the sex." This time Jinx raised her eyebrow. "Or did I just hit the proverbial nail on the head?"

"No." Raven glared at her. "You didn't."

"Then you admit that there was a courtship."

"We never dated. Most of our interaction was in the field. Questioning drug dealers and corralling petty thieves is not exactly my idea of romance. Or Robin's."

"Now you're just lying to yourself."

"I think I know what my idea of romance is, thank you."

"Not that. What happened. There was more. You just don't want to see it. You don't want to admit it. Because then it becomes real, it becomes something you have to recognize, acknowledge, and accept."

"And the fact that I'm eight months pregnant means that I somehow haven't?"

"You're dealing with it just fine. But you're trying to compartmentalize it, rationalize it. And therein lies the fault. If romance made sense, would either of us be standing here right now to have this conversation?"

"I'm not in the mood for this." Raven said flatly.

"Your choice." Jinx shrugged. "It's no hair off my head. Of course, this might be something you would want to talk to _him_ about."

"We talk. And we have an understanding. I can sense what he feels, and I accept his feelings. I return them in my own way."

"And what does Robin say to you? He's not exactly the kind of guy to murmur sweet nothing's into a girl's ear."

"It's…complicated. And definitely not anyone else's business." Raven stiffened.

"Fine, I won't pry. But be more honest with yourself. He's told you. I'd be willing to bet a month's supply of mascara."

"I don't do makeup."

Jinx continued as though Raven hadn't spoken. "He's shown you. And he's told you. You looked but you didn't see. You heard but you didn't listen." Satisfied that she had taken the upper hand, the pink-haired girl decided to let the matter go. "You should see what he does in you, listen to what he says. Believe me, I know how things get when you don't communicate. The roller-coaster gets old."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Raven. Earth to Raven, I know you're in there." Cyborg waved a meaty hand in front of her, jarring her from the memory. "You okay?"

Raven focused her eyes. "Sorry. I'm kind of off today."

"Moreso than usual?' The burly man smirked.

"Don't push your luck." Raven responded. "On another note, Terra says that Rain is trying to talk."

"No kidding!" Cyborg said excitedly. "Any idea what her first word will be?"

"I haven't heard her babbling yet. But I'm sure Robin is going to flip when he finds out."

"He takes a lot of pride in that girl, you know.'

"He'd better. It was a sacrifice to mix my perfect genes with his." She smirked wryly. "I assume she gets her stubbornness from his side of the family."

"You? Stubborn? Perish the thought." Cyborg grinned.

"Smart answer. So you'll come join in this rite of passage?"

"Of course I will! I hope you don't think it's weird, but I think of Rain like a granddaughter. Which is a little worrying considering I'm only twenty-two, but still…"

"That's all right. She could use that kind of figure in her life. And I would like it if you were there for these sorts of things. I value your friendship."

Cyborg paused, taking note of Raven's seriousness. He appreciated her inclusion of him not just as a teammate, but as part of her extended family. But she was never one to speak openly of such things. "You are different today, aren't you? You sure everything's okay?"

"I'm just a bit.." She sighed, letting her words die out. "Never mind. It's nothing serious, I promise. "Robin said something about an auction on Saturday night?"

"Push, Pull, and Tow." Cyborg grinned. "All a bunch of cars that'll never play the violin again, but it's a chance to see some real classics…and some real wrecks. We get them for the parts. Never know what might come in handy."

"I'll go." Raven decided. "I think maybe I should get out more."

"You know you're always welcome."

"Thank you." Raven breathed, suddenly glad for how oddly comfortable the garage was. Cyborg had no expectations on her, only expected her to be her, and that went a long way towards making her not only comfortable, but cementing the family bond she shared with him. "I should go get Rain a snack for when she gets home. If I don't make sure she eats healthy, she'll be bouncing off the walls."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Fifteen minutes later, a trio of young adults and one toddler full of entirely too much energy entered the room, the little girl running around in circles in the relatively open area of the common room, her arms spread out like an airplane. Raven gaped at her daughter's actions, then turned to the "responsible" adults, all of who shrugged. Beast Boy and Starfire were quick to find things to do elsewhere, leaving Terra behind to give the explanation.

"Um…there was kind of a sale at the ice cream truck…" The blonde hesitated, and she saw the venomous look in Raven's eyes. "Beast Boy bet she wouldn't eat a whole Rocket Pop, and, um….I won?"

"So you filled her up with sugar water? Now she'll be running all over the place until she crashes."

"Well…yeah, I guess." Terra sulked. "But that was when she started babbling like crazy, and she was acting like she wanted to fly when we helped her play on the slide. She's a happy girl."

"Deliriously, I'm sure. And I had hoped to read to her today, especially if she's beginning 'vocal play.' Now it'll be all I can do to get her to sit still." Raven's predictions were punctuated by the machine-gun like sound of Rain's shoes on the floor, marking her speedy movements through the environment.

"I'm sorry." Terra pouted, wringing her hands together. "Really, it was…it's my fault. I should know better. I do know better."

"Yes." Raven glared. "You do."

"Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not so much mad as I am disappointed. Look, it's not like I don't think she should ever have a treat. But there are times, and places, and this wasn't one of the better ones." Raven sniffed. "It's done. Too bad she'll probably be falling asleep before we get to see if she'll start babbling again. And she'll be going down early tonight I think."

"Which would leave you and a certain red-breasted hero all by yourselves with nothing to do on a Friday night." Terra smirked, perking up. "How careless of me. Kind of makes you wonder if it was an accident, doesn't it?" She winked. "Want me to corral her for you?"

"I think I can handle it." Raven decided, prior to something else occurring to her. "Did Robin put you up to this?"

"Now Raven, whatever would give you that kind of idea?" Terra said wryly, teasing her friend.

"Past experience." Raven said plainly, moving into the common room as Rain began to toddle by the steps. The sorceress deftly grabbed her daughter in one hand and scooped her up, frowning as the young girl seemed to struggle. "Rain, it's time to settle down now."

The young toddler let out a sequence of indecipherable baby talk, but the girl's tongue movements made it look as though she were giving her mother a classic raspberry. "I think she just told you off." Terra laughed, which only caused Rain to clap her hands together.

Raven could notice from the stickiness of her daughter's outfit and face that Rain was likely wearing as much of her sugary snack as she was eating. "What I wouldn't give to do laundry less than three times a week." Raven muttered.

"Oh come on, Raven." Terra chided. "There's no way she goes through that many outfits."

"No." Terra agreed. "But I usually put a leotard in the wash after it gets covered in whatever sticky stuff I've had to clean Rain up from. Not to mention that Robin burns through his costumes quicker now that he's working than he did when he was a full time crimefighter." She sighed. "Has to have his underwear ironed just so…" Raven trailed off, knowing she would likely be spending her Friday night tending to more wash. "Come on, Rain" Raven looked at her daughter. "You need a bath." Raven decided, carrying the squirming toddler in her arms.

Terra stared after her, blue eyes bright and seeming to smile. Anyone who said Raven lacked proper motherly skills would be surprised to learn how wrong their assumptions were.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Robin sat in his office at the dealership, feet up on his desk, smiling at the couple across the desk from him. Their financing paperwork had come through in spades, ensuring them not only a reliable car that they could afford, but at a price that meant they wouldn't have to struggle month in and month out over the next five years. With that signed as well as the delivery paperwork, there was nothing left to do but show the Davenports to their new vehicle as soon as it was ready—some last minute touches were being put on it so they could drive it off the lot. In the meantime, Robin had offered them both some of his "private reserve," a simple, sparkling apple cider that even Mrs. Davenport would be able to enjoy since it did not contain alcohol. "Not the experience you expected when buying a car, was it?"

"Mr. Robin, we can't thank you enough." The dutiful husband replied, taking a generous sip of his refreshment.

"You can start by losing the title. It's just Robin. 'Mister' makes me feel too much like a character on _Sesame Street_." He smirked.

"It's the colors." Miria Davenport spoke up. "You're so bright and cheerful looking. People see you coming and know that help is on the way."

"Well, these days, I try to help out more in ways like this than I do with heroics. Don't get me wrong, I've still got it, but at some point, you realize there has to be a little more to your life. I've added some complications, and being a father means I owe that little girl at home some stability. It's not fair for her to grow up every night wondering when her father is coming home…or worse." He winced, taking a sip of his cider. "I won't back down from a fight if I'm needed, but there are plenty of other heroes out there, no reason to hog all the glory when something far more important is at stake." He smiled. "This is how I do my hero act now. Helping out one life at a time in my own little way. It may not be glamorous, but it's definitely meaningful to me. And usually to those I get to work with." He inclined his glass in their direction, taking another sip.

"You will take us up on our offer, won't you?" asked Miria. We would love for you and your..ah..significant other to join us for dinner. Perhaps I can help her get used to the idea of marriage." The woman seemed to glow at the prospect.

"It's…not something we've really talked about. I'm not opposed at all to the idea, but Raven tends to get a little…well, she doesn't like to be cornered. I try my best to give her space where she needs it and be supportive when she needs it. It's something of a dance I've learned over the last few years. It's kind of hard to believe. It seems simple now, like I always should've seen it, right there in front of me." Robin sighed. "This may sound silly, being as I'm not exactly very old, but I've been searching for love for most of my life. I've had girls from my past that, at the time, had felt right. Had felt like home. But, something always went wrong. And then, before Raven, there was Starfire. For the longest time, I really thought it was her. I never saw reality coming. Funny how things work out, isn't it?"

"Sometimes, things change for a reason. If you did not have the experiences that you did with the other girls, good and bad, you might not have been prepared for the one you have now. Life always goes on around us whether or not we're ready for it. The key is knowing how to roll with the punches, how to be open to the right experiences and shun the wrong ones. And that comes with—"

"Time in patience. I've heard it from my mentor countless times, to say nothing of my partner. I'm still working on those."

Isaac Davenport decided to chime in. "That just means you're a work in progress like the rest of us. Miria and I have a long way to go. We're still becoming ourselves, and I guess, in a fashion, becoming each other."

"Nicely put. Listen, I can't really commit to any further meetings. Raven can be very, well-"

"We understand. It's sad, though, she looks like such a nice girl beneath that sulky demeanor." Miria added.

"She is." Robin nodded. "I like the person that I am when I'm with her. She just…takes time with people. I'll be sure to impress your compliments on her." The boy explained, downing the rest of his sparkling beverage. "Congratulations on your new car. I think you're going to love it. And if there's any problems the warranty doesn't cover, just give my office a call and I'll get you in with Cyborg. If somebody beats him on quality and price, I'll pay for it myself." Robin smirked.

"Repeat business, hmm?" Isaac commented, taking the proffered business card. Well, we'll certainly be willing to give you the chance based on how you've treated us."

"All I ask." Robin smiled. "Take care of yourselves. Oh, and if someone tries to hit you up for any last minute extras on the way out, the headlight cleaning kit is a good deal. Maybe the oil change package if you do a lot of driving, not so much if you keep the miles off." He waved the couple out of his office with a friendly goodbye. Some days, when he got to see the difference he could make in the lives of ordinary people, it made everything worthwhile. He had a pleasant home to retreat to each day, a family composed of friends and loved ones that supported one another wherever they needed, and most importantly of all, he had purpose. Purpose to be someone his daughter could be proud of. Purpose to be a man worthy of the woman who had created that girl with him. And purpose to be a person that people throughout the city could look up to—not larger than life, not an action figure, but someone that anyone could be if they only gave themselves the opportunity, made positive decisions, decided that their lives were worth something.

Satisified with the work for the day, Robin began filling out the internal paperwork for his latest sale, deciding he was perfectly happy to leave early. Raven had not spoken of it openly, she never did, but he had a feeling that she had been trying to work through something on her own and not getting very far. It wasn't like her to be brooding and moody without real cause. Sure, she kept to herself a lot, but she never kept him solely at arm's length unless she was either upset with him, or there was something wrong. And seeing as how she always made it quite clear when she was upset with him, then by process of elimination, there was something happening on her end.

Jotting down the final figures and placing the paperwork in his outbox, Robin allowed himself something of a contented sigh. Even after the past few years, it was still fun to sometimes push and prod Raven. There was something rather endearing about the way she always shied away from talking about herself or making herself even the slightest bit vulnerable. Even to him, it was a slow process that Robin was not always convinced he was making headway with. But the challenge was something he had come to enjoy. And the rewards that he had received so far for this efforts…well, there was just something exhilarating that he felt every time she shared emotions with him through their link. It was more than just feelings of love and friendship—it was the knowledge that her own emotions could be strong and exceptionally dangerous if left untamed, so being a part of them made him feel special, and strengthened his own feelings a little more each time. It was funny how things worked out, indeed. But also, perhaps, a bit of providence. It had been their relationship, their shared passion, that had started their little family and greatly distilled for Robin what it really meant to be part of one. For too much of his life, the concept of family had been warped and twisted, populated by surrogates. Now that he was a father, it made his role clear, and while it certainly wouldn't fit anyone's picture of a normal, happy family, he was happiest when he put little Rain to bed each night, later settling into his own mattress, Raven's warmth next to him, and he realized that he was content. Who knew what the future might bring? Circumstances beyond his control might one day force him back into full time heroics. But he was determined to let someone else take the risks as long as it was possible, providing support from the background, and most importantly, letting Rain grow up in an environment where she would have two parents.

Even when he had been taken in by millionaire Bruce Wayne, who honed both his purpose and his desire for justice, that feeling of family had never been like it was now. Bruce was a friend and mentor, and despite some differences that made it too difficult for them to continue their partnership, there was still too much respect there to ever forget. Now, his life was his own, and he was sharing it with the people that meant as much as life itself. His friends were like extended family—the way Cyborg would always slap his back in pride when he told them of the people he helped, the way Beast Boy sometimes came to him for advice with Terra and treated him like a big brother, the way Starfire had put aside her own feelings because she wanted him to be happy. And Terra, beautiful, lost Terra, still a part of him after all these years. She always seemed to light up when he returned to the tower at night, like a piece of herself had been lost and was found. Perhaps it would always be that way.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven rummaged through her closet for the dirty laundry basket, adding Rain's spoiled outfit as she pushed the basket out of her closet and behind her using her left foot, now trying to find a leotard, any leotard, beyond her white one that wasn't in need of a wash. Deciding that the Fates had deemed this was not to be an easy day for her, she finally gave up, settling for a baggy, navy blue maternity sweat shirt marked "Jump City Park & Rec" in white blocked letters. She hastily pulled out a black pair of thin leggings from a hanger and launched both of them onto the bed, using just a microblast of her soul self without even having to think about it.

Rain was too busy playing in the laundry basket now to notice her mother's wardrobe crisis, content to see how much of mom and dad's dirty laundry she could bury herself under. Raven peeled off the sticky leotard and cape and replaced them with her new outfit, feeling slightly satisfied that the leggings didn't feel tight around her waist. Adding the leotard to the waist basket, she lifted the plastic container up to the bed with another short burst of her power and extricated Rain from the mess, the curious young girl's eyes blinking twice upon seeing her mother in noticeably different attire. This seemed to please her, and she giggled at the new look.

"Everyone's a critic." Raven mumbled, although the child seemed to like this new side to her mother, now not only laughing happily, but reaching out with her arms, as though trying to tell the older woman to give her a boost. Raven stared at the basket on the floor for a moment, then shrugged. "You know what, Rain? That's what husbands are for." She decided, leaving it and lifting her daughter higher, extending the gleeful tot over her head but being careful to make sure that if anything happened she would fall onto the safety of the bed. "Come on, let's pick you out a book." Raven smiled, hoisting Rain over her shoulder to carry her more securely, wandering into Rain's smaller bedroom and examining the bookshelf. "Let's see what we have here. _Green Eggs & Ham?_ Ugh, I think I really will be sick if I read that today. _Corduroy_? That's a sweet one, although it really reminds me of doing laundry…" She trailed off.

Rain resolved the dilemma herself by reaching out for a book, which Raven promptly grabbed. "_Are You My Mother?_" The goth read the titled aloud, feeling the weight of the small hardcover in her hands. "Despite Beast Boy's meddling, I think we're raising you to have good taste after all." The thought made Raven smile, which elicited a pleasant little squeal from Rain. Raven hugged her daughter a little more closely as she carefully carried the girl down the stairs along with their book.

In the common room, Beast Boy was riveted to the display from his Gamestation race, Terra sitting beside him and seemingly able to keep the upper hand in their contest without much difficulty. Starfire was in the kitchen, preparing something that Raven decided she was likely better off knowing as little about as possible. Soon enough, the redhead would be ushered out of the kitchen for proper dinner preparations,. One of the benefits of living with other people , Raven found, was not having to concern herself with meal preparation. Or more pointedly, that she didn't have to subject herself, or anyone else, to her dubious cooking skills. Oh, she wouldn't starve if she were completely on her own, she had survived well enough before joining the Teen Titans. But, that was a different era. Back when her life had seemed so much shorter, so devoid of real meaning, and the echoes of self-loathing rippled along her soul. Now, she could see with eyes unclouded, and the family she had started seemed to wash away the dull ache of her lost past. She had a future worth fighting for, among people who wanted her to be herself. It was still hard to imagine that things could possibly have turned out this way, but life was for living, and she was willing to keep on doing it.

As though feeling her mother's warmer than normal mood, Rain looked up at her caretaker and giggled, indicating her happiness, and Raven did her best to respond in kind, very gently. "Daddy will be home soon, huh?" Raven stated absently, moving towards a far corner of the sofa across from the couple enjoying their game, sitting Rain beside her. Raven held the book in her lap, suddenly feeling apprehensive, memories flooding back to her of a past failure, and of her own complicated childhood. Terra spared a glance away from the television, suddenly setting her controller down. "You can have this one, BB."

"No way! It's no fun if you just let me win, Terra."

"Then pause it." She said, crossing over to the girls. "Hey." Terra spoke warmly to her friend, gently tousling Rain's hair the way Robin often did to her. "You okay Raven?"

The goth looked up at the blonde, seeing the earnestness in the smaller girl's eyes. "Yeah. Some days are just a little…"

"Difficult?" Terra offered.

"And complex. You too?"

"Only when I let myself get lost in my past." Terra whispered, not wanting Beast Boy to hear the comment. "I can cope most of the time. I like who I am now, that's for sure."

"I know what you mean. For so long, I always carried around this reservoir of self-hatred for what I was. I don't anymore, not really. But…it's like an old habit. Sometimes it just seizes my heart and I have to work hard to remember…"

"That things change. " Terra finished. "I owe you a lot, Raven. You helped me learn to work out all those horrible feelings I had. You helped me cope. I don't know what I would've done otherwise. I still remember what I tried-"

"There's no need to bring that up." Raven stopped her. "It's fine. I stopped it."

"I still feel…." Terra hesitated. "Raven, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"Ha ha. I'm serious. About you. And Robin. And…me."

Raven wasn't entirely sure she would like where this was going. "Yes?"

"Have you ever considered…bonding to Robin? I mean, like he and I are. It might push me out from him, make you the more dominant force. I just thought…it might be good for you."

"I've considered it, but I'm not entirely certain it's the wisest course of action." Raven pursed her lips. "I've joined with him before, but never long enough or deep enough to leave an echo like you two share. I'm not certain I want a Robin running around in my subconscious. It's crowded enough in there already." She quipped.. "Currently, we share our feelings through a different kind of bond than what you two have. It's something I can control, and more importantly, it allows me to let him know what I feel without having to worry about random environmental destruction. Win-win, in my book."

"I guess that also means you don't have to say the things that embarrass you?" Terra asked.

"There are certain benefits. I've never been one to talk about how I feel. This is far less clumsy than words."

"I envy you sometimes. He loves you so simply, without having to think about it."

"Terra, just between us, those things are usually something that's always there—it just comes down to when and how we acknowledge it. In my own fashion, I've always loved Robin too. It's just only in the last three years or so that I've entertained that feeling in the romantic sense, that I've allowed myself to accept him in my heart not just as my best friend, but as the man that I'm quite likely going to spend the rest of my life with."

"You know your love will last that long?" Terra questioned.

"Yes. But it would also be too hard to find someone else who could possibly put up with me. At least Robin is as stubborn as I am. I figure one day, we can be a crabby old couple together. Besides, he'll need someone to keep him in line."

"Wow, you really have thought this through."

"Well, there's also the fact that I don't know if I'm willing to put in the time again for someone else. It's taken me a tremendous amount of effort to be open enough with him for us to work. I really don't think I could do it again. If it ever falls apart, I think I'm going to fly solo. Although I would miss having someone around to do the domestic chores. I just left a large basket of laundry for him upstairs. Something I may decide to do more often. It was…satisfying."

"I, ah, feel like I have trouble being as close to BB as I should be."

Raven smirked. "There are those that would argue that you're closer to him than anyone _should_ be. But, if you're looking for advice, I'm far from an expert on relationships. I've spent most of my life avoiding them and the past few years I've survived mostly by distracting from my deficiency and tripping over my own feet. I'm not exactly a role model in this area."

"I know, but…I just want to get back to the way we were."

"You seem fine to me. Why don't you just do the little things. The rest will work itself out. That's been my experience. It still isn't easy for me, but I find that time and patience produce a lot. You don't have to take my word for it." Raven shifted her gaze to Rain, who was busy crawling along the sofa cushions to clutch onto the blonde girl's legs. "I still say you're her favorite." Raven sighed.

"Yeah, but she'll be quiet for you. She's only quiet for me when she's falling asleep. I think her personality is just a little different based on who is taking care of her. Me, I'm the pushover. I get to spoil her, and you get to do the hard stuff." Terra laughed.

"Remind me of the reason I let Robin talk me into you taking on this role in the first place?"

"Because Rain loves me so much?" Terra asked with a smile, and little Rain's eyes seemed to widen in happiness. She clutched onto Terra's shorts, and the blonde girl lifted her up, speaking nonsense into the toddler's face. "That's right.! Aunt Terra loves you too!" She smiled, tugging her hands under the girl's arms for proper support before spinning her around in the air. "Yes she does!" Terra proclaimed, stopping before she got dizzy herself and presenting Rain back to her mother. "Who's that? It's mommy! Come onRain, say mommy."

Rain muttered something unintelligible, that was either gibberish or something in Tamaranian, a tiny bubble bursting on her lips.

Terra sighed, flopping on the couch. "Oh well, can't say I didn't try."

"Thanks." Raven said flatly, rather astonished at how Terra's outburst of fun had seemed to have such a warming effect on her daughter. Rain's little hand clutched tightly onto her mother's sweatshirt, and something within Raven stirred as she positioned Rain in her lap comfortably, gently stroking the girl's soft, dark hair, as she opened the classic book and began reading to her, even throwing in a few voices for Rain's amusement.

Terra smiled to herself, crossing back over to Beast Boy and picking up her controller. "Ready for another bruising?" She asked, flipping off her shoes and sliding onto a cushion next to her partner, unceremoniously stretching out and placing her feet in his lap.

"Hey! We didn't even finish the last one?"

"This one's all over but the crying." Terra stuck her tongue out, bending her slender frame halfway so that her head was leaning off the couch, upside-down, hooking her ankles crossways against Beast Boy's legs to secure herself. "I'll bet I can still beat you playing like this." She laughed, issuing him a challenge.

"Oh, you are so on!" Beast Boy spoke with vigor, gripping the controller more tightly.

A smile spread across Terra's face as they resumed their game. Now this was how things were supposed to be between them, from. It was so easy to let complications get in the way of what she always felt for the comical changeling, and she was so tired of feeling as though her heart had been cleft in twain. All those better parts of her that she had still possessed back when they first met. She had never had to fake happiness around Beast Boy, he drew it forth from her eagerly. Robin had told her, more than once, that love took many forms. Now she was beginning to feel as though she understood.

Perhaps, this time, she could make it work.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

Hello everyone! Sorry it's been about a month since I could update this—the hurricane really did a number on us and work has gotten kind of crazy. Essentially, I have a variety of distractions at the moment that keep me from dedicating the same level of time to this story I had initially, but I still am really enjoying writing it and try to slip little moments of my day into productivity. It seems like there's hardly enough time for everything. I try to work, read, write, game, chat, and watch informative programming daily. There isn't much in the way of free time, but I try not to complain—I'm complaining I don't have enough free time to do different things that are important to me. Some people don't have enough time to do the necessities. So I am grateful for what I have. A good job, good family, good friends. Yeah.

Overall, I had fun with this chapter, but I'm anticipating some fun stuff in the near future, having Robin come home should mix things up a bit and let me explore the proper family dynamic with a bit more exuberance, find that all important whisper of a thrill and allowing it to blossom properly. Some of the bigger scenes in this story—funny, romantic, dramatic—have practically written themselves in my head already. But I don't want to rush things and do a half-assed story, I feel that my faithful readers are strong enough and smart enough to expect better out of me, and I'm thoroughly inclined to agree. I am my own worst critic after all, running my work through a shredder at times because I don't like the way a sentence reads. But I'm always trying to grow stronger. I appreciate all the support that I've had in that endeavor over the years, and I pray it is something that never really stops. If I can't improve, I don't think there's any point in continuing. Fortunately, I feel that I'm far from perfect, so I don't think I'll be reaching that level anytime soon.

All this said, I'm not really sure what else to say here. Next update will come out when it's done—I'm hoping to break ground on it this week so it won't take quite so long this time, but that's really all dependent upon my workload. We'll see what happens. Until then, keep the faith, and spread it like peanut butter.

And as always, send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

10/12/11

6:22 AM, EST  
>E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com<p>

AIM: Asukaphile26


	6. One On One

Chapter Six: _One On One_

Autumn in Jump City was one of the nicer seasons that came to the urban landscape. The summer often caused the buildings of the city to hold in the heat, but the cooler temperatures of the fall tended to bring about more pedestrian activity out of doors, and an overall friendly atmosphere prior to the onset of the winter. Of course, "winter" in these parts was almost a misnomer. Robin, having spent a great deal of his life in Gotham City, knew what real winter was, and had taken some kind of perverse pleasure in properly acquainting Raven with the cold season. Although that had had its rather pleasant benefits, he had to admit.

Still, the fall was Robin's favorite reason to cruise around the city in. Especially when he could actually focus on enjoying the ride instead of having to be all-business, mentally preparing for a battle. This was the kind of evening that riding a motorcycle was all about. Letting his facial expression twist into a full-fledged smile, Robin immediately decided to enjoy himself by taking the long-way home, speeding across one of the many bridges that intersected the bay, linking parts of the city to one another. This particular main road that the bridge emptied out onto brought the scents of a cornucopia of exotic foods to his acute nostrils—nearly every major ethnic cuisine being on display in the span of a little over a mile. Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Indian, Creole, American, and there was even a hoity-toity, high end French restaurant that was a favorite for dates one was trying to impress. Robin had always had the distinct impression from the formal attire that the people entering and exiting the restaurant wore that any attempt to drag Raven into the place would be rebuffed with extreme hostility. The last time Raven had consented to anything formal had been…hell, it had been one of the most fun times he had had while servicing Gotham City, and at the time, they hadn't even been together. Or, perhaps, there had been something brewing. Robin cracked a smirk at the memory, thinking back to the simple elegance Raven had displayed, after having put up such a fight.

Thirty-Three Months Earlier

"I look ridiculous."

"You look gorgeous."

"You lie poorly."

"It's not a lie, it's a truthful observation."

"If a dress is supposed to use fourteen hundred dollars worth of fabric, why does it look as though I'm only covered with five hundred dollars of it?"

"That's the style."

"I look like I belong on a street corner."

"Oh, so I get to name my price then?"

"Thin ice, Boy Blunder." Raven narrowed her eyes. "_Very_ thin ice."

Robin changed tactics. "You forgot the matching handbag."

Raven responded by projecting a small amount of her soul-self into the small, black accessory and flinging it towards his head. "Not going to happen. In fact, I think you can just tell everyone from the Wayne Foundation that I'm sick."

"I can't show up alone to this kind of soiree, Raven. It just isn't done. Besides, if I'm alone, I'll have to endure the advances or shallow socialites all evening. You know, the kinds of girls that make you feel mentally ill?"

"What a cruel fate." Raven practically snorted. "I think you'll do fine without me."

"Raven, no. I'm not going without you."

"Then you're not going." The pale girl pressed.

"We have to go."

"Why? What's going to fall apart if you don't show up at this social event, Richard. Please, do tell."

"With me? Nothing. But I have an obligation to my mentor. There are certain social duties that I have to uphold."

"The operative word being _you_."

"Don't be like that, Raven. I want you there. Really."

"But you don't need me. Besides, I would get in the way. Don't stand there and pretend that you don't know that the very notion of me attending a high society function is an unmitigated disaster just waiting to happen."

"Fine." Robin acquiesced at length, knowing all too well how terrible Raven could be when she dug her heels in on something.

"Alright then."

"I'll just call Starfire and ask her to come instead." That was a gambit he hadn't even expected himself to make, but the die had now been cast. There was any number of ways that this could end, some of them rather badly for himself, but Robin couldn't help but find himself counting of the seconds as he searched Raven's expression, trying to deduce her response.

Ten…Nine…Eight….

Her lips seemed to downturn very slightly, not so much as a frown as she was mulling over something serious within herself. Ever so slowly, there was a crinkling of her nose, as she digested what he had said and tried to formulate a response. As always, there was little in the way of actual tells when it came to Raven. She didn't wear her heart, or her emotions, on her sleeve. Or her cape. Or leotard. Or black, elegant, upper class party dress.

Seven….Six….Five…

She seemed to stiffen as she weighed her options for a response. Would it bother her if he did invite Starfire? Over the last few months, they had been close to inseparable. While not every single waking moment was dedicated to patrolling Gotham, Robin had insisted that he take his friend on a tour of the city, showing off its grander sights and attractions, as well as some of the more notorious sights, connected to crimes and major villains. Raven's favorite perch when on duty seemed to be a cathedral on the South side, which allowed her to perch high and be ready for trouble from a myriad of directions. Something about the architecture seemed to speak to her, and she enjoyed exploring it when she wasn't busy with more pressing matters. Indeed, their relationship seemed to have changed for the better, becoming more natural. It was easier to be friends, here. Maybe it was because they were in Gotham, away from their team. They had to depend upon each other more without the others to pick up the slack. And so, Robin had told her his story. Not just the snatches she had seen in his mind when she had once briefly joined with him. He provided her with the narrative, how he had coped with his own personal tragedy. The path he had forged for himself—both as an apprentice to The Dark Knight and on his own. His stories seemed to have different effects on Raven—sometimes her response seemed to indicate pride or concern in him, while other stories made her look at him as though he were a man-child. Not that he could always help it—irresponsible farces could sometimes be his specialty, especially if he was a man on a mission, obsessed, as Slade could often bring out in him.

Four….Three….

There! Was it just his imagination, or was her forehead crinkling a bit, her lips beginning to purse. She was on the cusp of something. Maybe it was just going to be some kind of a rebuff. No, no. Raven wouldn't have waited so long. Insults always came to her quickly and easily, she wouldn't have to think very hard to put him in his place. Unless she was coming up with a scorcher. What about the eyes? They were concentrating on something, Robin was fairly certain that Raven was looking more through him than at him. Or else she was searching him, trying to put some kind of meaning to his threat. Why had he wanted to drag his girlfriend into this anyway? And more importantly, why would Raven not just tell him to knock himself out and phase through a wall to end the argument?

Two…

Why was he even bothering to contemplate such a thing. It was ridiculous. If Raven didn't want to do something, she didn't do it. That's just the way she happens to be. She wasn't corruptible, nor could she be guilt tripped into doing something she didn't wish to. Her decisions were usually centered around her. This was not to say that Raven was selfish to a fault. She took good care of her team in combat and didn't shirk any of her duties. But her independent streak surpassed even his own, and she couldn't simply be baited into doing something contrary to it. Raven never played mind games she couldn't win. She thrived on being able to flummox an opponent. It was her modus operandi.

One…

There it was! In her eyes! There was a flicker of recognition, of some kind of internal battle being played out. The different emotions that coursed through her subconscious, each demanding the opportunity to assert their authority. Amusement, anger, jealousy, frustration, bewilderment…it was as though they were all there at the same time, each one vying for supremacy, each taking its turn in mere fractions of a second to guide Raven's own thoughts. A plethora of different outcomes, coming and going so quickly that there was no way for the outside observer to be certain of what the empathy was thinking—exactly as she wished it, Robin was willing to bet. Was she going to walk away?

Zero.

"Two hours." Raven muttered, looking away from his gaze, as though she were ashamed.

"It's a long social engagement, Raven. Two hours won't be enough."

"Then ask Starfire." Raven folded her arms across her chest indignantly.

"I asked you."

"Yes, we've established that repeatedly." Raven pointed out.

"Four hours."

"Two and a half."

Robin sighed. "Look, I'll meet you halfway. This soiree will be held at the Manor anyway."

"And?"

"And that means that Bruce's extensive, private library will be nearby. You make the rounds with me, exchange pleasantries with the boring, beautiful people, and when we're finished, we can make an excuse for you to disappear for awhile. You can spend much of the night in the library, away from the annoying, pedantic social function. You just have to stay dressed up so we can dance later."

"Dance?"

"Yes, dance. Nothing too fancy. A simple waltz should suffice."

"Do I look like the ballroom dancer type?"

"No, but for our purposes, I can teach you pretty quickly."

"And now you're making assumptions that I would want to be taught. I'm not going to get in front of a crowd of people and dance just for some pointless social event in high society."

"We won't be dancing in front of a crowd." Robin insisted. "Everyone will be dancing. No one's going to be staring at us. All you have to do is just learn the basic pattern and follow my lead."

"You really think this is going to happen, don't you?"

"Raven I'm asking you as a friend to do this for me—no, with me."

"You should be asking Starfire."

"I'm sure that Star would be a big hit with the crowd, but you and I both know that whether you intend it or not, you have my grace in your pinky finger than Star does in her entire body."

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "I'll be sure to tell her you said that."

"Thanks." Robin told her. "Look, Raven, if that's what you want, then I'll invite Starfire. I just thought it would be…nice, I guess. And I don't want to exclude you."

Raven sighed, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?"

"Yes." Robin nodded, leaning against the wall. "It does. We should do more together."

"Really." Raven deadpanned. "As it stands now, we're doing just about everything together outside of bathing and sleeping. Including getting on each other's nerves." She smirked.

"You know you enjoy my company."

"Apparently, there's been a new definition of the word 'enjoy' added to the dictionary when I wasn't looking."

"Fine. You relish my company."

Raven shook her head.

"Savor?"

"If you stop acting like a kicked puppy, I'll do it." Raven finally surrendered.

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

Robin clenched his palms together in a minor celebration of victory before pausing.

"There's a hook in that bait, isn't there?"

"Oh, Robin. So little trust. Is that any way to treat your friend?"

"What's the catch, Raven."

"Only that you'll owe me a favor. One of my own time, type, and choosing. And one that you won't be allowed to refuse."

Present Day

Oh, and had he ever paid the favor back. In spades. Robin smirked, racing his R-cycle across a bridge that would take him back to the Tower. But it was all worth it. Partnership had begat friendship, which in turn begat love. Yes, there was something about Raven that really resonated internally with him. With her in his life, he felt more complete, more confident, like there was some kind of goal he was working towards. He had a greater mission now, one that he found made the tough decisions easier. Growing up with Batman, things had been easier. His decisions affected only him, or, to a lesser extent, his mentor. Working on a larger team had honed his skills, helped him to be more of a team player—but he had still never been good at asking for help, or at opening up, even among friends and comrades—his own surrogate family. But now, things were different. He had people depending on him to come home each day. And a daughter who deserved a father that wasn't putting his neck on the line every night. That didn't mean that he had learned to keep a total distance, but for the most part, he had learned to be content to let someone else take the risks. His past was his past. If there was one thing he had learned the hard way, it was that no amount of heroics and good deeds would ever make up for the loss of his parents. He was mature enough now to be okay with that. Bruce himself, at some point, had obviously come to the same realization. But he did something different with it—trying to create an environment where bad things didn't have to happen to good people every so often. It was a grueling, personal thing for the wealthy philanthropist to have taken on, a personal quest that had encompassed most of his life and, Robin often wondered, possibly robbed him of true happiness. Still, it was his mission, his vendetta. Robin had his own, and as grateful as he was to the Batman, he had decided long ago that he could no longer live under the older man's shadow.

Approaching the Tower, Robin thumbed a keypad built into the small dashboard of his bike, transmitting the appropriate security code for the garage. It always felt good to park his prized motorcycle in its spot of honor. The numerous vehicles that Cyborg had constructed for the team over the years were all works of art in their own way, but his motorcycle was, well, his, and it wasn't often that others got to ride on it. Or more precisely, it wasn't often that others _wanted_ to ride on it. The R-Cycle was perfectly safe, of course—it was Robin's skill at driving it that usually remained in question.

Removing his helmet, Robin ran a hand through his hair to ensure that it still carried that all important, slicked up spike look that he knew was a part of his general charisma, before ascending the staircase. Just setting foot in the Tower again reminded him of how hungry he was—the hot dog he had grabbed for lunch from the vendor across the street hadn't really stuck with him, and there was a definitive danger to eating too much during the day. Raven harped on him if he had a large lunch. Not to say that she spent all day long slaving over a hot stove, she had Cyborg and Terra to do a lot of that. But if he didn't clean his plate at supper, then the couldn't raise Rain to hold up to the same standards. Raven was tough, but fair.

Reaching the crest of the stairs, Robin opened the doorway that opened to the side of the kitchen. "Honey, I'm home." Robin said in a traditional joke—it was not uncommon for only Cyborg or Beast Boy to be in the immediate vicinity at this time of day, but tonight, the common area was unusually busy—Cyborg and Terra working different stations of the kitchen, while Starfire, Beast Boy, and Raven occupied the large table, Rain in her high chair, happily mesmerized by tapping a dull spoon against her plastic cup, the tray of the chair littered with simple, moveable toys designed to distract developing minds.

"Aw, shucks, I didn't know you cared." Cyborg mocked.

"You only love me for my mind." Robin chided, which Raven added a snort to, offering her take on that particular comment.

"Well I love you for your looks." Terra added over the sound of the mixer in front of her, shutting it down. Raven rolled her eyes at the blonde girl's comment, which prompted Terra to stick her tongue out at the goth before removing the two beaters from the mixer and tossing one to Beast Boy, who licked the potatoey goodness off of it with abandon.

"It's the mask." Robin smirked as Terra jumped into his arms for her customary greeting, Robin squeezing her tightly before spinning once and depositing her back on the floor. "And what about you, Raven?" He asked, running a hand through her hair. What do you love me for?"

"Your agreement to carry out domestic chores without my having to ask." She told him, but gave a start when he circled behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"You just don't want anyone else washing your delicates."

"I do not wear 'delicates.'" Responded Raven, refusing to take the bait. "They're just plain, black, boring, functional undergarments that can be found at most common stores and are considerably less enticing than the average Victoria's Secret catalogue."

"It's not what you wear, it's how you fill it out." Robin gently kneaded her shoulders, enjoying the way he could simultaneously make her feel both comfortable and anxious. "What matters is that you be yourself."

"This advice from someone wearing a cape and mask?" Raven pointed out, not only beating Robin at his own game, but successfully ruining the moment as well.

"Well, I…"

"This was fun." Raven told him, patting his hand with hers gently. "We should do it again sometime."

"We will." Robin promised, already planning a verbal rematch. Having a conversation with Raven was like crossing a minefield—few people found a way through one without having it blow up in their face. Robin knew better than to take it personally, though. This was how Raven expressed herself. It was a more light-sided part of her, that she didn't always let out. It was easier to give him a hard time than it was to tell him exactly why she loved him, and he was okay with that. She had told him, long ago, on that first awkward, beautiful, frightful, wondrous, unforgettable night that she had feelings for him that were unlike any other, and while it was a little cryptic and mysterious, he understood that for Raven, it was akin to baring her body and soul. It was enough for him, and he had been trying ever since, everyday, to make her life a little easier, a little more complete, a little more whole. And he was willing to continue doing so until the end of his days. "So what's for dinner?"

"Roasted chicken." Cyborg told him. "It's in the oven already. I'm about to throw some Gardenburgers on for our resident vegetarian."

"Hey!" Beast Boy called out. "You've eaten Gardenburgers too! They're good."

"They're _passable_." Cyborg corrected. As in, if there is literally nothing else to eat and I'm too drained to go out and too broke to order out, I'll eat one.

"You just haven't broadened your horizons beyond meat." Beast Boy complained.

"It's meat. I can spend the rest of my life sampling different kinds and dishes without ever getting bored. So why should I need to?"

"Oh, leave Beast Boy alone." Terra scolded the bigger man. "There are plenty of better reasons to make fun of him than his diet."

"Yeah!" Beast Boy spoke up. "Hey, wait a second!"

"It will take a lot longer than that for your brain to catch up." Raven added, eliciting a good laugh from everyone else in the room, save Starfire."

"I am confused!" The redhead explained. "How can Beast Boy's brain catch up? Was it involved in some kind of race? I did not know that the human brain was portable."

"It's just an expression, Starfire." Robin explained. "Raven was just saying that Beast Boy's brain is slower than everyone else's in processing thoughts."

"Wait, I believe I have heard this kind of expression before—would I be correct in saying that Beast Boy's brain is not fast with taking up?"

"Slow on the uptake." Terra helped her, and Starfire's eyes momentarily glowed brightly with happiness.

"Yes! Yes, I am understanding now! My Earth slang is improving!"

Robin smiled at his friend. So many times, it was difficult to help her to understand figures of speech, but lately, she had been showing improvement, making connections in her head from one expression to the other. She still didn't speak English like a native, of course, but given Robin's very limited exposure to Tamaranian linguistics and dialects, he considered it amazing that Starfire was able to grasp any of the intricacies of English beyond what a simple kiss could provide her with. Whoever said that English was one of the hardest languages to learn wasn't kidding.

Satisfied, Robin opened the refrigerator and helped himself to a bottle of flavored water, pulling up a seat at the table directly across from Raven. "How were things today?"

"Not much to tell. I meditated, I ate lunch, I read to Rain in the afternoon, and I got a little reading in for myself. I was hoping to have something more exciting to tell you about?"

"Honestly, I can do without excitement in that category. It's easier to work knowing you and Rain are safe."

"I am still perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Robin."

"I know. But even so, I can't help wanting to protect you. Kind of an instinctive thing."

"And here I am, not knowing rather to be flattered or insulted." Raven chided him, letting him dangle on her comment before continuing. "The others took Rain out to the park this afternoon. Terra said she thought Rain was trying to talk."

"Or babble anyway." The blonde girl added. "Sorry, I really thought she was having a breakthrough."

"She still might." Robin responded. "No need to push her. She's young yet. And her mother does stimulate her mind." He grinned, proud of the efforts Raven took in raising their daughter, willingly staying at home while he paid the bills.

"Someone has to raise her right." Raven spoke. "If I don't help develop her mind now, she could grow up into another Beast Boy. The verisimilitude of that very notion alone makes me feel ill."

Beast Boy drew himself up to his full height. "Okay, I have no idea what the heck you just said, but I know it was some kind of insult."

"What?" Raven asked, looking as innocent as she possibly could.

The green changeling stuck his tongue out at the goth. "Well, that's just fine. Because Rain likes me just fine, don't you Rain?" He asked, turning to the small girl in her high chair, he put his face in front of hers and gave her his best silly smile, which the black haired little girl responded to enthusiastically, grabbing his nose and squeezing affectionately. "Ow!"

This had the pleasant effect of making everyone at the table laugh. While Raven did not express the humor so physically, she did smile as a very light, pleasant feeling bounced around inside of her. This, she decided, was the kind of family moment she would enjoy remembering one day when she was an old woman and Rain would be the one feeding her. The concept of one day growing old was still relatively new to her, as until a few years ago, it had never been an option. So many of the simple facts of life that most people took for granted were like a new adventure to her, being human was something that she had only dabbled at previously. Now, it was her life. Of course, there were certain things that could not be changed—she would always look different, perceive things differently, live differently. Patience had taught her much in these matters. That, and finding a partner who saw more humanity in her than he sometimes did in more average examples of the species. And yet, Robin still endeavored to understand her need for solitude, never taking her request for alone time as a rejection of his partnership. He pushed her to respond to him emotionally, wanting to be the one who knew her unlike any other, yet he never asked her to do anything that she wasn't ready to, never tried to force her to reveal things that she didn't want to reveal. Which, ironically, made her a bit more open. Much like herself, Robin hated talking about himself or his past. He had been through a lot, and struggled to find his identity, become his own man. The past took him to his lower points, and even though his was a life made of tragedy, there were those fonder memories within it that she tried to steer him towards.

And, of course, he had been more understanding than she expected about her chaotic sexual nature. It could fluctuate between hot and cold very quickly—becoming a demanding and impatient lover, and then switching to a reserved one with little carnal drive. Based upon her own studies of the young male libido, Robin probably had the patience of a saint in this area, but truth be told, he was not one to frequently instigate sexual activity. Not that he was prudish or disinterested, but often enough, he seemed content merely that she was there, that she would share her bed, and be there when he awoke in the morning. And, though she was not want to admit it, she had come to enjoy having a sleeping partner, something she had never expected to grow accustomed to. But it was somehow comforting, when she could feel him nearby in the still of night, one arm draped across her shoulder, like an attempt to infer possession—he was not one to spoon, or try to wrap her up in his arms. It was as though he knew he could never really possess her and so didn't try to, but that he still claimed her as his own, warding off any other would be suitors, or perhaps ensuring her that he was still there.

_Too much analyzing_. Raven thought to herself, calling to Terra to flip a pot of water on to boil so she could have tea after dinner. She looked across the table to see Robin smiling at her knowingly, the type of smirk she had come to admire, and yet still frequently had the urge to wipe off his face. "How was work?" She asked, deciding that engaging him in conversation was far better than ending up in an odd sort of staring contest.

"I closed." He smiled, looking as though he was surprised that there could be any doubt to that outcome.

"With that couple?" Raven asked.

"The Davenports." Robin nodded. "Miria, the wife? She's fascinated by you. Wants to have us over for dinner."

Raven blanched at that notion, she was still recovering from the conversation Robin had forced her to participate in earlier that day. "You did say no." It was a question, but Raven presented it as though it were a direct order.

"Yes."

"You told them yes?"

"No?"

"Robin, don't start with me. I'm not in the mood for word games tonight. It wasn't an easy day for me."

"Then let me make it more clear. "Yes, I said no to them. Raven, you really need to relax. You know I wouldn't try to subject you to something like that."

"But you would enjoy it. I know you like watching me wriggle."

"Wriggle?"

"Yes. Wriggle. Squirm. Work my way out of a tight spot."

Robin leaned back in his chair. "I admit nothing."

"Robin."

"Yes dear?"

"You're _smiling_."

"I am not."

Cyborg took his attention off the stove for a moment, leaning in to look at his friend's face. "You're totally smiling."

"I'm not smiling. I'm smirking."

"Smirking?" Raven cocked an eyebrow.

"Yes. Smirking. I'm amused by your sudden bout of paranoia."

"I'm not paranoid." Raven shook her head. "I'm perceptive."

"Perceptive?"

"Yes, perceptive. As in, I know when you're planning something, Robin, and it's not going to work.."

"I'm planning something now?"

"Yes." Raven said simply. "So save us both the time and out with it."

"I'm afraid I'll have to protest my innocence." Robin told her flatly, but the smirk never left his face. "I'm not planning anything, Raven. And before you ask, I'm not scheming or conspiring either."

"I know that look, Robin. And you know that I know it."

"Then you must be mistaken. You're the empathy, not me. Now, can't we just enjoy a nice, family dinner to wind down the week. I'm hungry."

Raven fixed her partner with a hard stare, refusing to relinquish the upper hand. "We will be speaking of this after dinner."

"If you insist." Robin held out his hands in a submissive gesture.

"I insist." Raven told him flatly, standing up to pull plates out of the cupboard and set the table before the argument became real.

Now it was Cyborg's turn to smirk as Raven turned her backside to Robin, focusing her attention on the menial task of setting the table. "Ladies and gentleman, may I present to you the Boy Wonder himself, tamer of womankind the world over, Robin. Truly an inspiration to us all, he handles all situations with the greatest of ease, never failing to put even the most challenging of women into a state of security and peace. He has so much to teach us-"

"Cyborg?" Robin interrupted him.

"What, I'm almost done!"

"Shut up." Robin finished for him, peeling off his gloves and tossing them towards the sofa in the common room.

Beast Boy chided his friend. "Dude, you should totally know better than to try and put one over on Raven."

"I'm not." Robin pleaded his case. "I share a living space with her very closely. Do you think I have a death wish?"

"The living arrangements can be subject to change, Boy Blunder." Raven called as she pulled a large quantity of plates from the cupboard using her soul self, floating them towards the table and setting them down gently. Robin's plate, a plastic one normally reserved for children, clattered loudly as it dropped.

Robin looked down at the blue plate with an image of Winnie the Pooh staring back at him, apparently one of Starfire's favorite snack plates. "Ok, now that's going just a bit far."

"And here I thought it suited you perfectly." Raven deadpanned.

"Starfire, a little help here?" Robin pleaded, turning to the redhead.

Starfire looked him over earnestly. "If you wish to use my plate, friend Robin, you may do so. May it enhance the taste of your meal."

"Thanks." Robin grimaced, but smiled slightly at the feeling of Terra's consoling hand on his shoulder as she reached over his head to place a helping of mashed potatoes on his plate. "What, no gravy?"

"Cyborg has the gravy."

"Because if there's gravy, then everything is going to be alright." The burly man beamed, placing a large bowl onto the table along with a ladle. He immediately turned back to the oven to pull out his prize-winning roasted chicken, and set it on the table next to the gravy, along with an oversized serving fork. Before anyone could object, Cyborg ripped one of the oversized legs off of the bird and placed it onto his plate. "Terra? What about the bread?"

"I made it in the machine after stomping Beast Boy at his favorite game, remember?" She told him earnestly. I think it's ready…it, uh, might be a little doughy."

"I love doughy!" Beast Boy exclaimed, practically salivating at the sound. Cut me off a slice! And Cyborg, what happened to my Gardenburgers?"

Cyborg sniffed the sizzling pan on the stove. "They're, um, browning. Or whatever it is these things do. I never could figure out how to tell when these things are done."

"They're done enough. Serve 'em up! Oooh! I know, Terra, toss me that bread! I'm going for a Gardenburger deluxe!"

"That just ain't right." Cyborg sighed, lifting the pan off the range and unceremoniously dumping its contents onto Beast Boy's plate.

Terra cut into the load of bread and frowned "I don't know about the burgers, but I'm not entirely sure this bread is set. It's still gooey in the center."

"There's a metaphor in there somewhere." Robin quipped. "I'll take some anyway."

"You'll get sick." Terra pouted.

"I have a stronger metabolism than most. Except maybe Beast Boy."

"Robin, you need to take better care of yourself." Terra scolded.

"I exercise regularly and, on occasion, have even been known to center my mind through meditating with Raven."

"Among other things." Mumbled Beast Boy, earning him a look from Raven that might have turned him to stone.

Robin sighed and focused on the food, not wanting to rise up to that bait. Raven already seemed upset with him this evening. There had to be something he could do right by her. But it was never easy once she got into a mood. Getting an idea, Robin swiped a small piece of chicken from the serving dish and began cutting it up into tiny little pieces for Rain, before either Terra or Raven could appoint themselves to the task. Maybe the way back into good graces was to show his willingness to take on the tougher jobs at the end of a busy day. He immediately stood up and pulled his seat directly next to his daughter, motioning for Starfire to slide over, and began the difficult process of trying to get his daughter to eat. Rain seemed a bit taken aback at seeing her father—while Robin was by no means an absent father or inattentive parent, he normally was not one to actively feed her. Rain's eyes went wide and she seemed confused as Robin took the dull fork designed for a girl her age and gently pried it into her little mouth. "Mmm." Robin exaggerated, forking a piece of meat for himself and making a show of chewing it enthusiastically. This caused Rain to giggle, and half of the chicken rolled out of her mouth as she gummed it with her little baby teeth.

"Everyone's a critic." Cyborg sighed as Robin went in for a dollop of mashed potatoes.

"The trick is not to talk down to her." Robin said. "You want to eat for us, don't you Rain?"

In response, Rain made a series of messy chewing motions, somehow getting down a few bites of her dinner. "That's right. And who's your daddy?" Robin patted her on the head, plopping the mashed potatoes into her waiting mouth. Rain's expression was almost contemplative, as though she were weighing a great decision as she swirled the mushy starch around in her mouth before swallowing it, looking up at her father expectantly.

Terra practically choked when she saw how easily Robin was feeding Rain. "That's not possible! Two days ago I tried to feed her mashed potatoes and I ended up with most of it on my shirt and in my hair."

"Maybe you babied her too much." Robin shrugged, smiling at his little girl. "Do you want some more chicken, Rain? Hmm?" He asked happily, putting a tiny cube of it onto the spoon and extending it towards her mouth. Rain seemed to contemplate this for a moment and then clamped her lips around it, chewing with a sense of wonder.

Raven stared at him in awe. She was surprised that morning when Rain had complied with relative ease, but now she seemed to be actually enjoying food, something that basically didn't happen unless copious amounts of sugar were involved. Had her own daughter matured in her approach to food so quickly? Or did she just want the extra attention from her parents. Raven had no idea, but almost inexplicably, she could feel her irritation with Robin begin to melt away. Which irritated her, because she wanted to be upset with him. But it was just too hard when he showed just how seriously he took his own status as a father, and when he went out of his way to remind her that, indeed, they were a family of sorts, if not a traditional one. She stood up herself, moving to sit on the other side of Rain, to be with her family. "You're very good at this." Raven told him simply.

"Am I?" He asked, with a bit of a smile, but trying to appear non-chalant.

"Don't ruin the moment." Raven pressed, choosing to ignore the bait for another go around. "You're very…"

"Yes?" Robin asked, trying to put some earnestness in his voice. He wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Look, neither of us exactly had the fathers we wanted. Yours was taken from you, and mine, well, let's not go there." Raven shut her eyes momentarily, refusing to let her mind go any further down that road. "But in spite of that, you're…more than adequate at being a father."

"Because I can get her to eat?" Robin asked, now feeling confused at her meaning.

"No, because she looks up to you. In case you hadn't noticed, it's in her eyes."

"Huh." Robin replied casually, rubbing his chin as he looked at their daughter. "And to think, I always see you in her eyes."

"I've been known to look up to you." Raven said simply. "On occasion. Infrequent occasion."

"I'll take it."

Raven nodded her head once, and Robin gingerly draped an arm over her shoulder, keeping his right arm free to continue feeding Rain with. The little girl looked back and forth between the faces of her parents and gave a kind of contented smile, making some kind of unintelligible sound between laughter and nonsense that both parents took as a good sign.

Cyborg looked over the little family with a broad smile. "Well now, isn't that touching?"

Starfire clasped her hands together in admiration "It is a most glorious display of affection and pride. On my world, the bonds of _kzralnop_ enhance our physical strength."

Terra had a smile that practically split her face, yet, upon closer examination, there were also a few tears threatening to fall from her eyes—perhaps the scene had dredged up some memories of all she had lost. Still, any sadness in her eyes appeared to be overshadowed by the smile on her face and the thoughts in her mind and heart. Robin was easily attuned to her emotional state in such close proximity, and mentally thanked her for her support, knowing she would understand.

Beast Boy wore a wry expression. "That's cute and all, but if you guys are going to get into P.D.A., you're gonna have to go to your room. Some of us are trying to eat, you know."

"I don't do 'P.D.A.'" Raven said darkly. "I was merely expressing my pleasure at my partner's parenting."

"Is that what they call it?" Beast Boy asked.

Raven looked up at Robin. "Permission to stuff and mount him on the wall of our bedroom?"

Robin chuckled. "No."

"You never let me have anything."

"Criminal offense." Robin shrugged.

Raven arched an eyebrow. "No jury in the world would convict me."

"True…you might even get a parade thrown in your honor…" Robin mocked mulling the idea over.

"Hey! Why does everyone always gang up on me?" The green jester complained.

"Because you're the odious comic relief." Cyborg grinned, coming around the table to push his hand firmly against the small green head.

"But, for some reason or other, we love you anyway." Terra chuckled, running to his aid. She gave the changeling a squeeze of adoration, which seemed to immediately deflate whatever irritation he had been feeling, and he smiled goofily at the feeling of the blonde girl's small arms around his frame.

"On that note, let's eat!" Cyborg called, and there was a hustle to return to the table, Starfire stopping along the way to place an arm on the shoulders of Robin and Raven, her green eyes shimmering slightly. "You have both been blessed by forces greater than ourselves. I am grateful that I am able to play even a small part in your familial bondings."

Robin looked at Raven, who very slightly hitched her shoulders in an expression of confusion, and so the masked salesman took the lead. "You're a big part of our family, Starfire. You always will be. We want you to be one of Rain's role models. You're strong, you're loyal, you always do what's right and you're never afraid to fight for what you believe in. I can't think of a better person for Rain to take lessons from."

Starfire could say nothing, and so she enveloped her friends in a bone-crushing hug, squeezing them with abandon. "Thank you, my friends." The redhead's voice was high pitched, like a kettle on the verge of boiling over. "I will endeavor to be an excellent _zarkleen_ for Rain!

"Right…" Raven said slowly, concentrating on not sounding sarcastic, which was a serious effort.

"Thank you, Starfire" Robin patted her back through the embrace until the alien girl let go and returned to her seat, leaving the couple alone with their daughter at the end of the table.

Raven made a somewhat sheepish expression. "Look, about before? I'm…"

"Already forgiven." Robin smiled, picking her small hand up from where it rested against her leg and stroking it gently.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Friday night in the common room had begun something of a tradition ever since the team had decided to step out of their primary roles as superheroes and let the other Titans around the world step up. Not that they never took on evildoers, supervillains, and the occasional ne'er-do-well anymore, but with a small child in their midst, it was important to keep her safe. And the safest way to do that was to ensure that she didn't become a target for any of the considerable gallery of enemies they had collected over the years.

It had been a difficult adjustment, most of all for Robin, who was torn between the oaths he had sworn to himself years ago when he first became Robin, and the duty that he had to his daughter. Ultimately, responsibility won out. And the costume was retired in exchange for a steady paycheck. However, the sad truth that Richard Grayson was not the hot commodity in Jump City that Robin, Leader of the Teen Titans was. And so, he had taken the costume back for a different purpose. But this was a job that came with set hours and weekends off, so he was alright with it. Of course, being a car salesman wasn't really his full time job. That honor fell to little Rain, and, naturally, to his better half—a desription that Raven never seemed to grow tired of him using. Something about acknowledging his superiors, as he recalled.

And so it was that Friday night centered around movies and snacks. Robin was particularly fond of action films and character dramas, while Raven really only objected to obnoxious teenage comedies or romance. Beast Boy would pretty much watch anything that wasn't a period drama or romance. And Cyborg was the "mercenary," being able to stomach nearly anything, even the occasional sappy romance. Starfire also got something out of almost anything they watched, so she was rarely, if ever, disagreeable about what was tuned into the set.

And then there was Terra. It was difficult to discern what Terra truly enjoyed watching—she was more wont to support Beast Boy in his viewing habits and choices unless it was something she truly despised. This Friday night, for instance, found her sitting on the sofa, slightly cuddled up to Beast Boy, as they watched _Broken Flowers_, a film that had Beast Boy in a critical state of boredom. Fortunately, Terra had been able to stop his restlessness by occupying his eyes with her own, and as she allowed him to wrap his arms around her and pull her head into his lap, Beast Boy had long since decided that he didn't care what was on the television when everything he'd ever dreamed was staring up from his lap.

Raven, having picked the movie, leaned her head towards Robin and whispered an inquiry in his ear, causing her partner's eyes to go wide in confusion. "What do you mean, you picked this movie for a reason?"

"I was curious if you saw yourself in it." Raven whispered in response.

"How? I'm not a playboy, let alone an aging one, and the only offspring I have is nestled comfortably into her playpen, likely asleep since she isn't making any noises."

"That wasn't the point. I think it's about what we want out of life."

"You do mean the film, right?" Robin verified.

"Yes. The film."

"I suppose it could be. How does this relate to me again?"

"Don't be dense, Robin."

"I have everything I want. Well, okay, maybe not everything. I mean, who has everything they want? Trust me, I spent half of my life being raised by a multi-billionaire, and he didn't have everything he wanted. But, there are few things in my life that I would change."

Raven nodded at his explanation, seemingly satisfied, but still looking a bit pensive. Something was definitely weighing on her mind, Robin could feel it. But he couldn't get any real access to her emotions, she wasn't sharing anything through their own bond at the moment. Still, his detective skills told him this line of questioning wasn't over.

He was rewarded for that deduction precisely fourteen minutes and twenty-seven seconds later, when Raven asked a new question into his ear. "Have you ever considered getting married?"

Robin sputtered, choking on the sugar free sports drink he had been lightly sipping at. His reaction caused Raven to cock an eyebrow as he tried to recover his breathing. "Forget I asked." She sighed, prepared to drop the line of conversation before it had ever really begun.

Robin punched himself in the ribcage several times to steady his breathing, earning a puzzled look from Cyborg, but he waved it off. Looking around to make sure everyone wasn't staring at him, he brought his face much closer to Raven's. "We should talk about this." He stated, trying to give the illusion that he was having an intimate moment to anyone who might glance in his direction.

"We aren't?" Raven whispered.

"Color me confused, but I wasn't exactly aware this was something you were interested in. It always seemed like it conflicted with your whole strong, silent, independent loner personality that you cultivate."

"I'm still those things."

"I never said you weren't."

"Robin…"

"Evidence room." He said simply, extricating himself from her form and walking out of the room without fanfare. Raven greatly resisted her natural urge to phase through the wall and head him off at the pass. It was gravely tempting, but it would not do anything to enhance their current situation. And so she padded out of the room after him, following Robin down the hall and allowing him to open the door for her. She winced when he closed it a little more forcefully than necessary, but it certainly wasn't a slam.

Letting out a breath, Robin turned to look into her eyes, frustration and hesitation evident on his face. "What the hell was that?" He asked, not in anger, but in complete confusion.

"Look, I didn't know that would be your reaction. Just forget I said anything." Raven said, moving back towards the door.

"Raven!" He called after her. "That's not what I meant. I wasn't trying to say I don't want to."

"So you want to?" 

"I don't know! For the right reasons, sure. Look, what's brining this on. Do you want to get married?"

Raven now took her turn to stare deeply into the eyes of her lover. "I don't know. I…guess I'm at a point where I just find myself wanting more."

"More what? More from me?"

"Not exactly."

"But you think getting married is the answer?"

Raven turned away from him, moving towards one of the walls where one of the old Slade masks still hung. She picked it up with apprehension and reverence, running her hands along the contour of its curves. "I want to be more fulfilled. There has to be more to life. I want to leave some kind of legacy behind."

"I can relate to that." Robin nodded, speaking softly. "But those aren't reasons to get married. Raven, when you asked me, you said it as though you were making a dinner or movie suggestion. This is serious to me."

"I'm being serious." She said earnestly. "Look, you know my feelings. I chose you because you've always accepted me for who I am. I choose you now because I know not only that you still do that, but you remind me of it every day in your own way. Not to mention Rain. Throughout my life, love isn't something I've really understood. In any aspect, really. The things that I would put myself on the line for, before, they were always principles and beliefs. And then the two of us created another life together, and suddenly, I could finally understand what it meant to be willing to die for someone else."

"Raven…"

"Don't interrupt now or I'm not going to be able to start again." She rolled over whatever he had to say before he could even speak it. "This is my life now. It's the life I've chosen, every part of the way. To step back from the heroics. To become a mother. To start this thing with you that continues to define me despite my valiant efforts for it not to. I wonder, sometimes, where this friendship was going. And even after finding the answers, it still feels like a mystery to me. I never expected to have this kind of bond with anyone. It's confusing, annoying, frustrating…but it's also brilliant and new and…never seems to lose its luster or its adventure. But, there is still more I want to do in life. I don't know where those desires might take me in the future, I haven't even figured out exactly what they are yet. But I want you and Rain with me. You're both very much a part of who I am." Raven sighed, feeling like she couldn't express herself properly. "In spite of all the books I read, I always feel woefully inadequate expressing myself with words."

She turned back to face him, taking a breath. "I'm done now."

"You know, you really are quite striking when you're flustered." Robin smiled, taking two steps towards her.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment."

"As well as an observation." He nodded. "You're serious about this."

"I'm always serious."

"Indeed." Robin nodded. "Alright then, I have a question. I won't ask you if you love Rain, I know that goes without saying. And, as nice as it would be to hear, I won't ask you for any great details on this either—just yes or no. Do you love me, really love me enough to be sure about this kind of commitment?"

Raven paused, a bit taken aback, but she did not betray any signs of unease. "Don't you already know?"

"I'd still like to hear you say it." He came closer, standing directly in front of her.

"You would ask me to put into words things that I don't even understand? I know them, Robin. Shouldn't that be enough?"

"Indulge me." He smirked.

"Alright then." Raven nodded, moving forwards so that she was practically standing on his feet, she reached out with her right hand and place it squarely against his chest, flattening her palm against it. "Of all the obnoxious men in this world, you rate among the highest. And yet I still think of you often, and fondly, with respect and admiration. You have helped me to become a better person, and have opened my eyes to the possibilities." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "There are days that I really, really hate you for that. But it never competes with how I…" Robin said nothing, quietly prompting her. "How I _feel_." Raven finally spoke the words, screwing her eyes shut for fear that her empathy would channel the emotions outward in some randomly destructive pattern.

Robin smiled warmly, feeling somewhat proud. "I think you just talked about your feelings, Raven. And the world didn't end."

"This time." She said quietly. "It's just…hard for me to get comfortable, okay? Even after all this time, there's a difference between being close, and being close."

Robin blinked, pondering her words. "And what about when you take the initiative?"

"That's…more like nature having its way. Certain urges can become very powerful at times."

"That's normal in anyone."

Raven didn't play the game. "You know better than most it's far from normal in me."

"Maybe I'm like that sort of thing."

"A little too much."

Robin pressed forwards, and she nodded her assent for him to envelop her with his arms gently, her empathic shields braced for the feelings that always came with being in Robin's arms. Whether for a brief moment or for an entire night, the different emotions within her all jockeyed for control. Yet she only ever gave it up to the one that she could cope with—safety and acceptance. Doubts always fled her mind when he held her like a lover, and she knew that, come what may, that sense of home could endure.

Cautiously, Robin let go, not wanting to push her too much at the moment. He knew all too well how difficult it was for Raven to express her feelings physically except in certain, extenuating circumstances, but it was enough for him. And sometimes, for her too.

"Are we good?" Robin asked her.

Raven nodded, but there was a little hesitation, and she studied the floor to avoid meeting his gaze. "You know, I really expected to be able to handle everything better than I often do. I really hate feeling insecure. Especially when in my head I can reason out how unreasonable those feelings are. But that doesn't mean that they go away."

"Those are normal feelings to have, Raven. It doesn't make you strange or abnormal. It just makes you human."

"And as you're well aware, I'm only half human." Raven reminded him.

"I wish you wouldn't say that." Robin sighed, looking a little hurt.

Raven shook her head. "I don't hide from what I am. Not anymore. You of all people know the danger that lies in that. Far too well."

"But I've never been afraid of you, Raven. Afraid for you, sure. But I could never truly fear you. I know who you really are. Our genes and chromosomes don't predetermine our destinies. We are who we are because of who we choose to be. How could I ever be afraid of someone who has chosen to dedicate her life to making the world a little better than it was when she got here?"

"Sometimes, I think you should be." She told him flatly, immediately holding out her left hand in front of her, anticipating his protest, clutching gently at his chest. "Not because of my past, or even my heritage. But because I've always been a solitaire. You don't have to deal with it day in and day out, you don't hear the voices in my head, screaming at me to run away from all of this, to stay alone, to be…" 

"Safe? Secure?"

Raven nodded.

"Then I hope that there are some voices in there telling you to stay as well. Not just for Rain's sake or mine. But for your own."

For once, it was Raven's turn to smirk, upturning the corners of her lips in a way that always made Robin's heart feel a bit lighter. "Those are the only ones I listen to."

"And that's why you want to get married?"

"It's why I've strongly considered the option, yes."

"Can we sleep on it?" Robin asked.

"As I recall, not sleeping on life-changing decisions is how we ended up like this in the first place." Raven chided. "But I don't need an answer right away. It's more of an idea at this point."

"A fancy?"

"Yes, a fancy. Let's go with that. We should go back before people start to think we snuck off for…relations."

"Relations?" Robin chuckled. "As though you're the type known for her wonton quickies in evidence rooms." It was an image that Robin couldn't get out of his head, a cross between alluring and amusing.

"You're not the one having to endure all the pregnancy comments. I get sick one morning and suddenly we're having another baby." Raven shook her head. "Which we're not." She interrupted before he could even ask.

"Is that a challenge?" Robin asked, raising an eyebrow. He wasn't certain, but he thought he saw a slight swagger in the sorceress' step as she made her way back to the common room, leaving the mask behind.

Robin shook his head. "I love you too!" He called after her, noting with some satisfaction that she seemed to misstep slightly on her way out the door before recovering. Robin smiled, satisfied with himself. "Bruce was right, I never was able to resist a challenge."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

And here it is, a special Thanksgiving surprise for all my readers! It took me awhile to write this chapter, mainly because I was trying to decide how I was going to present some things and where I was taking it. I really wanted to give this a natural flow, and sometimes that can be easier than others when hopscotching between humorous and serious subject matters. And this was the first time I really showed the "modern" Robin and Raven together at all, and dropped some hints as to the different things that are eating away at the protagonist. All in all, this was a difficult chapter to write, mainly because I wanted to capture the complexity of the drama without going into soap opera territory or making things too stilted. I have no idea whether or not I succeeded, but at some point, you just have to publish and move on, or you move into an obsession mode where nothing is ever good enough. Perish the thought!

I've got some big plans for Terra in the next chapter, and also Starfire. I've had certain scenes and ideas in my head for awhile now and I'm quite ready to see them take flight across the page. There's a certain feeling I get inside of me as an author when I can take a character into new places. Essentially, I'm really looking forward to the next chapter, but I'd best quit at that before I get too far ahead of myself.

Those of you who either know me personally (be it in real life, online, or both) or are just avid readers of anything I publish here at FFN may be interested to know that I am giving serious consideration to starting up some kind of journal or blog or maybe even a self-published, random column of some sorts. I thought I'd run this idea up the flagpole in case anyone had an opinion on what they would like to see me do with such a thing—or if it would even interest my core audience. I find myself at a place where I have more to say than just my stories, and I thought someone out there might be interested.

Thanks again to anyone reading this story, but especially to those who take the time to tell me how I'm doing. It really means a lot, so please keep encouraging me. And offering constructive criticism as needed. Anything to help me become a better author is greatly appreciated.

Other comments you want to make besides a review? By all means!

Please send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

11/24/11

6:52AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26


	7. Blood And Water

_Blood & Water_

Raven frowned at the laundry basket in the middle of the bedroom that Robin had moved. "I thought you were going to take care of that."

Robin arched an eyebrow above his mask as he pulled his uniform up over his head, throwing it on top of the basket. "And I am. I'll do it tomorrow. Scout's honor." Robin told her, giving the sign.

"Were you even in the Boy Scouts?"

"I'm crushed." Robin stated, flattening a palm against his bare chest. "So little trust, Raven."

"I trust you just fine. I'm merely probing to determine your sincerity."

"I'm always sincere." Robin stated, pulling a pair of cotton sleep shorts out of the dresser that contained his smallclothes and civilian garb and disappearing into their bathroom Moments later, the bottom of his uniform landed next to the laundry basket, and Robin was pacing their makeshift apartment, brushing his teeth as he walked around in his shorts, the cool breeze from the air conditioning feeling pleasant against his skin. He crossed the main room of the apartment to look out at the night skyline of the city beyond the bay as he brushed, making a gesture to his partner for her to avail herself of the bathroom.

Raven raised an eyebrow at his gesture, but moved into the bathroom to begin her own nightly hygienic routine. The square mirror over the sink reflected her image back at her, and she was surprised at how domestic she appeared, her shoulder length hair rather gathered gently behind her head. Every so often, she got a glimpse that, in her mannerisms, she had changed somewhat. It was more than just sharing her personal living space with her partner and daughter, it was a change in her priorities. While she was still rather private and guarded about many things by nature, she found the way that her partner didn't poke and prod and try to worm all her secrets out tended to put her at ease, and make her more inclined to open the door a little. Which, she supposed, was his plan all along. But that didn't bother her. It was his way, and getting upset with Robin for using his detective skills felt too much like than anyone being upset with her for being moody or antisocial.

Carefully, Raven pulled a thin black slip from the hangar on the back of the bathroom door, stripping off her sweatsuit and undergarments and pulling on her sleepwear. She went about brushing her teeth in an efficient manner, using the mirror to expedite the process and for help with flossing any particles of food that might have been stuck in her teeth. Satisfied she emerged from the bathroom to find that Robin had used their small kitchen to finish brushing his own teeth—his brush now laying damp and clean on a paper towel by the kitchen sink. Raven opened the refrigerator and helped herself to a small glass of water before heading back to the bedroom.

She arrived to find Robin lying on the bed, looking comfortable. "You're on my side." She protested.

"Am I?" he asked, nestling himself beneath the sheet.

"Yes, you are."

"So take my side."

"I've spent a lot of time training that side of the mattress. Lest you forget, this was _my _bed before it was _our_ bed."

"I offered to get us a new bed when we moved in together." Robin stated simply. "You said no."

"I happen to like this bed."

"So I've noticed. I like it to. But I enjoy it more when you're in it."

Raven stood with her hands on her hips. "I'm sure. For the record, taking my side of the bed and making smart remarks is not a gateway to coitus."

"Really?" Robin asked, sitting up to look more closely at his partner. "I'm rather certain that it's worked before."

"Move." Raven told him, and Robin picked up on the connotation that it was less of a request and more of an order. He was about to protest, but thought better of it, sliding beneath the covers to the other side of the bed. "Thank you." Raven said, frowning as she slid her body under the covers. "You made the sheets warm."

"I've got a high metabolism." Robin shrugged.

"I hate getting into a warm bed, I prefer to warm it with my own body heat."

"That makes two of us. I prefer the warmth of your body heat too."

"Are you still thinking something's going to happen after that stunt?"

"Come on, Rae. I know you better than that. You like having me around. It keeps you on your toes. Don't you like having someone sleep next to you?"

"Sometimes." She admitted. "I think of you as more of an overgrown body pillow that I have to share my covers with.

"I guess it's a start."

"It's gotten you this far." Raven told him, her voice softening a bit.

Robin looked at her, admiration in his eyes for her incessant value as a teammate, loyalty as a friend, and her patience as a lover. He hadn't exactly been shopping for candidates to start a family with, but given how things turned out, maybe he was never meant to. "Talk to me, Rae." He asked, reaching out and stroking a lock of violet hair. "You really want to get married."

"It's alright if you don't." She responded immediately, shielding herself from any emotional letdown.

"No, that's not it at all. I just want us to be together for the right reasons."

"It is a little like a comic book, isn't it? We're not exactly poster parents."

"I don't know, we are model citizens."

"Yes, there is that. But there's also the fact that we come from backgrounds that are a bit tragic. We've walked through the fires of our pasts and mistakes more than once. This wasn't how I had planned my life. Even after Trigon. The whole settling down, raising a family thing? Not so high on my priority list."

"Funny how things work out, isn't it?"

"I don't have any regrets. I wonder, sometimes. If I had stayed here in Jump City. If we hadn't done all those things together—the night watches, the cases, the social functions, the late night talks-"

"The sex?" Robin added.

"And they say the human male has only one thing on his mind." Raven rolled her eyes.

"Raven, all of those things were part of an adventure, but what we have amounts to more than just some good times in Gotham."

"What about Starfire?" She asked. "Robin, it was never my intention to interfere, even in Gotham. But even I have my limits. I always liked you. But it was the working intimately together, seven days a week, in close quarters that awakened me to the desire to have you as a mate. If I hadn't gone to Gotham, it may never have happened."

"I think it would have." Robin explained. "Sure, I liked being with Starfire, there was nothing wrong with her at all. She has plenty of admirable traits. Things with Starfire were nice. They were really nice. But…what we have is deeper than that. When people like the Davenports as me about you, about us…I don't say "It's nice." I tell them that I'm happy. And that's not a feeling I'm accustomed to. Things between Starfire and I were nice, but between you and me…"

"Yes?" Raven prompted.

"They're great. So if you really want to get married, then I'm for it. Honestly, I never even addressed the issue because I had rather assumed you wouldn't want the complication of a husband."

"Indeed. But, the facts are that, ceremony or no, I already have them. I might even be persuaded to miss some of them if you were gone. Besides, there's Rain to think of."

"You know I would never run out on Rain even if you asked me to leave. I won't leave her without a Father."

"Robin, even if things between us somehow went bad, I would not ask you to leave without good reason. I'm talking about…more mortal things, I guess. If you die, I want your stuff." Raven told him, and Robin appreciated her attempt to lighten the mood.

"You've already got the best of me." He smiled.

"I want the rest of you too." She spoke in a monotone voice, but the depth of those words carried the meaning clearly to Robin.

"Then how can I deny such a request?"

"You can't, Boy Wonder. You're under the sorceress' spell, remember?"

"Ah, yes. She's a wicked little thing too. Lithe. Teasing."

"Tired." She reminded him, but allowed her lover to wrap his arms around her waist.

"Ah, but there's always time for love."

"You're going running with Terra tomorrow. You need your strength." Raven chided.

"So you're saying that you'll completely wear me out."

Raven turned her head to look at him like a predator. "Richard, I _always_ wear you out."

"There's a first time for everything."

"Not tonight." She said, dashing his hopes.

"You ask me to marry you and then hold out on me?"

"Life's a big mystery, isn't it?"

"You are aware that there's a fine line between wicked and cruel, right?"

"I am aware of the difference, yes."

"It's been a few weeks, you know."

"Is that a problem?" She asked.

"It's not a problem. I just enjoy being with you. In every sense of the word."

"I make it worth your while, don't I?" She explained. "Maybe tomorrow night."

"What if _I'm_ not in the mood tomorrow night?" Robin asked playfully.

"Then I'll take you by force." She said flippantly.

Robin cocked an eyebrow. "You've been reading my diary."

"Goodnight. Robin." The goth girl rolled her eyes, settling into the covers again. Just as she had gotten comfortable and begun to doze, she felt a pair of arms slide beneath hers and begin a gentle rubbing motion just beneath her shoulders. "_Goodnight, Robin_." She stated with a bit more force, a tiny smile creeping across her lips as her partner finally relented.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven awoke in the middle of Saturday morning in much the way she preferred. The other side of the bed was empty, meaning Robin had busied himself somewhere. Briefly, she wondered if he was holding a grudge from the night before, but she doubted it. It hadn't been the first time she'd turned him down, and it wouldn't be the last either. Making Robin dangle and squirm was a perverse pleasure she took in sinfully. She wasn't cruel, of course, but he did so enjoy making her uncomfortable. Sometimes, a little turnabout was only fair play.

The covers were still warm and inviting against much of her bare skin, and she nearly surrendered to their siren song for another half an hour. However, just as she had begun to settle back into the pillow, the sound of laughter made her ears perk up slightly. She would know that laugh anywhere. It exuded confidence, Robin laughed in a natural manner, which was curious for a man who was known to be so serious. That was part of the dichotomy, of course, and one of the things she found strangely alluring about him. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Raven opened the bedroom door, looking out into the small living area where, indeed, Robin was seated leisurely on the love seat, watching cartoons with their daughter.

"Raven, care to join us?" Her partner asked without even looking away from the television screen. Rain was also staring at it intently, showing childlike wonder at the simple moving shapes and colors on the screen. "You never know, the coyote might actually catch him this time."

"The road runner doesn't get caught." Raven said plainly. "Besides, isn't this just a tad violent for our daughter?"

"Oh come on, I was practicially raised on this stuff. Well, when I was little, anyway. My father…he used to love the old Road Runner and Coyote shorts. We would sit and watch them together on Saturday mornings before having to get ready for the circus matinees. It wasn't a big deal, it was just one of our things. I thought I'd carry on the tradition."

Raven almost took a half step backwards. Yes, she knew well of Robin's past, both through a brief, low level bonding they had once shared, but also from long conversations that permeated both their friendship and their romance—they had slowly opened to one another, and while neither of them spoke of their pasts casually, it was the understanding of each other's backgrounds that mattered. The tapestry of tragedy they each shared, peppered in small but bright spots of happiness. They had each known so much pain and loss, but still refused to give into it, choosing to live and be themselves. "Well then, as long as you aren't corrupting her, I suppose it's not a problem." She nodded, moving towards the love seat and leaning over the back of it.

"Hey, I watched plenty of this stuff and I never had violent tendencies." Robin informed her.

Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Robin, up until two years ago, our full time job was to beat the stuffing out of people."

Robin shrugged innocently. "Hey, they were all bad!"

"Perhaps." Raven relented, turning towards her daughter. She placed a hand on the little girl's head, gently palming her dark black hair. "Good morning."

Rain looked up, still smiling, and awkwardly reached up to tug on her mother's slip. "BZZRP!" She announced to her mother, which Raven assumed from her expression meant the child was happy to see her.

"Indeed. And have we eaten yet?"

"I was going to make something after the cartoons were over." Robin explained.

"No, it's alright, I think I'll do it this morning." Raven decided

"You sure? We could always go downstairs. I'm sure Cyborg's making something."

"Let's eat as a family today. Just the three of us. Before Starfire abducts Rain and Terra makes off with you." Raven added.

Robin responded by taking her hand and stroking the fingers. "I would really like that."

"What? The part where I cook, or the part where Terra absconds with you?" Raven asked.

"I have to pick one?" Robin asked. It was at that moment that Rain began laughing, probably at the cartoon, but Robin took whatever he could get considering that he now lived with two girls.

"Someone's angling to cancel their Saturday night." Raven told him, making her way into the kitchen.

"You don't really mean that…" Robin called after her, tickling his daughter to hear her laugh again. "Raven?" He called her name again, but she wasn't responding. Sighing, he helped Rain sit upright. "Rain, I've got to go check on mommy. You tell daddy if that coyote catches the roadrunner, okay?"

"SAKRN" She told him, looking back at the television.

"Good girl." He smiled, planting a kiss on her forehead before sauntering into the kitchen.

Raven was at the stove, bent over and searching through an adjacent cupboard. Robin approached as stealthily as possible and slipped his arms around her waist. "Good morning."

"Yes, we covered the pleasantries." Raven had only stiffened very slightly at his touch. She could sense his presence coming and was not surprised by his overtly forward nature since no one else was around.

"Are you going to pay attention to me, or am I just going to wind up having a conversation with your bottom?" He asked.

"One of my features you once expressed a profound amount of admiration for in our Gotham days, I recall." She stated, finally emerging with the small box of pastina she had been looking for.

"Only once?" He questioned.

"I didn't keep track. And I also need some milk and margarine."

"In a moment." Robin told her. "I just wanted to share a loving, tender moment with my fiancée…" He told her, placing his hands on her shoulders and gently trailing the length of her arms.

"I haven't meditated yet today…" She warned him.

"So we'll keep it PG-13." He smirked. "Besides, Rain's out there. And that water is going to boil within about 6 minutes, I'd say."

"Not right now, Richard. Tonight. If you're good. And I feel like it."

"What happened to that whole taking me by force thing?"

"I didn't rule out that personality. Don't I make it patently obvious when I very much feel like it?"

"You're a tigress."

"And I bite too. May I have the milk and butter now?"

"This isn't over." Robin sighed, relenting and moving to the fridge to fetch Raven's needed ingredients.

She took the butter in one hand and used a portion of her soul self to snatch the milk maneuvering it over to the far side of the counter where there was a measuring cup somewhere. "Who says you can't domesticate a man." She chided.

"I'm going back to my cartoons."

"Mmm-hmm."

Raven counted three beats before calling his name. "Robin?"

"What?" He asked, turning around inside of the kitchen doorway.

"I'll meditate for an extra half an hour today." She told him, measuring half a cup of milk for the pastina. Robin, quick to pickup on her meaning, decided not to lift a gifthorse in the mouth and return to the attentions of our daughter. Raven shook her head as she added the milk into the pot with the rapidly heating water. "The sacrifices I make for just a little peace." The trained observer might have noticed the small smirk on her face as she continued making breakfast.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Somewhere in another area of the tower, Terra opened her eyes. Sunlight was streaming in through the window, announcing the mid-morning had arrived in all its glory. Terra's immediate instinct was to moan and turn over. Much like Beast Boy, she has long since learned the joy of sleep. Getting up before noon on a Saturday felt like such a sacrifice.

Her right hand felt heavy and warm, and then she seemed to wake up enough to remember. She let Beast Boy bunk with her on Friday nights. They hadn't progressed to a deeply intimate physical relationship yet, but she had decided four months ago that she wanted to try more, for his sake and her own. He still slept like the dead, even with the sunlight radiating off the walls of her room. She squeezed his hand gently, not wanting to wake him. He was a fine young man, he loved her in spite of everything she had done in her life. And once upon a time, she was sure she had the same feelings welling up within her. But not since her Rebirth, as they referred to it. Nothing seemed to work the way it was supposed to. Robin was always there now, in her head. Or a part of him, anyway. It wasn't like she had a live telepathic connection. More like there was some kind of miniature version of the hero, crawling around in the nooks and crannies, talking to her, comforting her…a veritable voice in her head that she tried very, very hard not to have unwanted feelings for. She did try. But how could she not love the person who saved her, who kept reaching out for her, even when she was a mess. Yes, Beast Boy was there. Even more than Robin. He was kind and earnest and faithful and so incredibly devoted to her, it made her want to cry.

"Somewhere I lost the ability to love you back." She whispered. "But I'm trying, BB. I'm trying so hard."

The biggest irony to her is that, for some reason, she was not miserable. She was in love with a man she could not have. She was trying to take comfort in the arms of the one she had always intended to be with. It was a lousy situation, to put it simply. It was lousy…but she wasn't out of hope. Somehow, she knew she could still find happiness without bringing pain to others. Terra remained convinced of that. If she were not, she would have stopped waking up each morning long ago.

Cautiously, she rolled over to face the slumbering changeling, clinging to him tighter. It wasn't his fault. He did feel good, so good. It wasn't enough yet. But maybe, one day, it could be. She wanted it to be. If she could only quiet her heart and make it see reason, if she could only push Robin out of her head. He seemed to do it so much better. If there was a version of herself running rampant through his mind, he seemed to have far better control of it. "Robin doesn't have any problems with Raven, it's obvious from the way he looks at her." She sighed. "Maybe Raven did something to help him…but…would I want to tell her I need help with this?" Imagining that conversation in her head never seemed to end well. Truthfully, Raven scared her a little. Of course, in her dark days, they had once had a knock down, drag out fight. They had enjoyed wailing on each other. It was a memory she hated. There were so many memories she hated. Her best moments were with Beast Boy. Always and forever. But every time she thought she could be with him, Robin came into her head. Beautiful, fearless Robin, with his constant reassurances. He made her love him—and he hadn't even tried.

"I just want to be happy." She whispered. "I want _you_ to be happy."

"I'm happy when I wake up next to you." The creature beside her stirred, and she clutched at him tighter, spooning his smaller frame to hers.

"I'm sorry, BB." She whimpered, squeezing him.

"Sorry for what?" He asked.

"Nothing. Everything. I…"

"Terra?"

"What?" She asked, blinking tears out of her eyes.

"You know I'll always wait, right?"

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Because of who you are. Terra, I know life hasn't been very kind to you, but I'm not going to hold all your mistakes against you forever. I mean, we're human, right? We're supposed to mess up sometimes."

"But I-"

"It's what you do with those lessons that matters, Terra. And you're doing something wonderful, everyday, by just living. You'll always be able to keep moving forwards as long as you want to." He smiled.

Terra said nothing, instead burying her face into his chest before quietly whispering her thanks before composing herself. She looked up into his sleepy eyes earnestly. "Hey, BB. There's something I need to tell you."

"What's up?"

"You won't give up on me, right?"

The changeling seemed to think it over for a second. "Eh, I guess not…" He teased.

"You'd better not." The blonde warned him, gripping one of his fingers and squeezing it. "I won't give up on us. I know I haven't made it easy. I'm so screwed up."

"No, you're not. Don't say that. You're just the way you should be, because you're you. And if you're not ready, then-"

Terra shook her head. "You know, don't you?"

"Know what?"

"About Robin. This…thing I have with him."

"Sort of." BB yawned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Yeah, I guess. But, you guys aren't together or anything."

"No! No of course not." She held him tighter. "It…wouldn't be a good idea for us. But I still can't help…what I feel. And that's why it's so hard, Beast Boy. Because he isn't who I want to feel like this for."

Beast Boy let out a puff of air. It had been some time since he and Terra had talked seriously about 'the dilemma,' as they often liked to refer to it as. "Terra, it's okay."

"No, it isn't."

He brushed her cheek gently. "He saved your life, and he went into your head to do it. You know it more than anyone except maybe Raven. If he hadn't done what he did, you wouldn't be here now."

"You could've helped me."

"No, I couldn't have. Not like that. I can stand by you for the rest of my life, Terra. But I couldn't have faced your demons inside your head with you. We might've both been lost. Besides, in the state you were in back then, he was the better candidate." Beast Boy smiled. "It's okay. I'm not jealous. Even if I should be." He chuckled softly.

"Why not?" She asked, beginning to cry.

"Because you're here with me, not in a closet with Robin. And because Robin is way too upstanding a guy to be a threat. And even if he weren't, the absolute fear of what Raven would do to him if she found him cheating? Oh man, it's giving even me the willies!" He laughed, and the imagery that he conjured up caused Terra to begin to laugh with him, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Ok, I guess I can see that." She sniffed, feeling happier.

"It'll be alright, Terra. We'll just go slow. You tell me when you're ready."

"I won't make you wait forever." She insisted. "I'm…going to try something new, okay?" She stated, leaning her head up and leaving a soft kiss on his lips. "We'll get there, I promise."

"Just take your time, okay?" Beast Boy implored. "You'll be ready when you're ready."

"No, I mean, I'm going to…see if I can quiet the Robin in my head down to a dull roar. If I can quiet him…"

"Do you need him?" Beast Boy asked, suddenly feeling more awake.

Terra gulped. "I don't know. But I can't spend my entire life depending on someone else, even an echo of that person. I'm okay with who I am, BB."

"You're going to ask Raven?"

"Yeah…"

"Do you want me to go with you when you do?"

"No. This is something that I need to do alone. It's…between two girls, you know? If I tell her anything but the truth, she'll sniff it out really quickly. But if she does agree to help me, then I want you to be there when we try."

"Okay." He nodded, enveloping the girl in his arms.

"Do you mind if we just stay her like this for another half an hour?" She asked,, squeezing him back.

"Only half an hour?"

"I'm hungry." She teased, burrowing her head into his chest, using it like a pillow.

The changeling shut his eyes as, and was grateful for the little slice of paradise granted to him as he fell into a light sleep with Terra's warmth atop him.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven folded her hands over a hot, steaming bowl of pastina, offering up a silent prayer. It had become something of a tradition that even she didn't entirely understand. By her nature, Raven wasn't particularly religious. Her nature did give her a bit of spirituality, but she wasn't one to follow any particular religious creed. Mainly, she just offered up her thanks to God, Fate, Time, or whatever forces, supernatural or otherwise, that had had an impact on her life and helped lead her to where she was now. It wasn't much, but it satisfied her.

Opening her eyes, Raven saw her partner placing a rather happy Rain into her high chair. Something about the imagery made her smile. Back in the days of her pregnancy, she had wondered whether Robin was up to being a parent, to saying nothing of herself. Not that she was worried he would run out on them, more that he wouldn't have the patience—she also worried about herself quite a bit in that regard. Perhaps the old adage was indeed true, though. It's different when it's your child. She had more patience with Rain unless her natural defenses were depleted. It helped that the girl hadn't been fussy. Oh, she had been known to give everyone in the Tower hell about food from time to time, but Rain had never been one to cry for seemingly no reason, and she slept rather well too. Most of the time, anyway.

Raven pushed a bowl of pastina in front of Robin, then handed a smaller, plastic one to him for Rain. Robin inhaled the flavorful steam and smacked his lips appreciatively. Now this was a proper Saturday breakfast. With finesse, robin dunked a spoon into Rain's bowl and gingerly brought it up to her lips. The girl seemed to fuss for a moment, but relented as soon as some of the pastina got into her mouth. "MZDNK!" She seemed to cheer, opening her mouth.

"Okay, okay." Robin laughed. "Let papa have a taste too." He grinned, spooning some from his own bowl into his mouth. "Wow, Rae, you really outdid yourself."

"It's not exactly rocket science." She told him. "You could make it just fine if you had to."

"It doesn't matter whether it was easy or not." He told her. "It's the effort that counts."

"Do I look like someone who cooks with love?" Raven asked.

"Honestly? Yes. You do."

"Now you're just giving me far too much domestic credit."

"Because you're domestic? Raven, you stay home with Rain five days a week while I go to work." Robin reminded her, continuing to feed their impatient daughter.

"And she often gets abducted by our roommates." Raven pointed out. "I'm sure if I knew everything she's been subjected to…"

"Now, now. They're good with kids. Terra has really taken to the whole godmother thing. And Rain really likes her."

"Rain likes anyone who is nice to her. She's two."

"And a half. Isn't that right, my little lady?" The tiny girl might have said something, but she was too busy ingesting her breakfast for much sound to come out. "The point is, Raven, that you're better at this than you think. And we appreciate it."

The goth was taken aback a bit by that projection. "Robin?"

"Hmm?"

"I…"

"Am a much better mother than you give yourself credit for." Robin finished for her.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"I'm enjoying a simple Saturday morning with my family, actually. " Robin told her. "And you're a big part of that, Raven. Home isn't a place, it's people. The kind you find that you want to be around. Even if you sometimes get annoyed or upset with them, or just find you want to be alone…you find it hard to stay in that state, because you miss them. Hell, I miss you and Rain every day at work." He sighed, gently lifting Rain out of her high chair and hoisting her over his shoulder so he could burp her properly.

"Thank you." Raven blushed slightly, looking down to pay more attention to her meal. "Maybe I'll take Rain out for awhile today. She does love to be outside. I wish I knew where she got that from."

"Hey, you can't blame all of her genetics on me!" Robin protested. She only got twenty-three of my chromosomes. Randomized at that."

"Oh, sure, blame it on me." Raven chided. "Why am I marrying you again?"

"Because I said yes!"

"Ah yes. I knew there was a rub somewhere." She smirked. "You are doing the laundry today, right?"

"Sure, why not? I'll put a load in when I venture downstairs. Do we have something other than pajamas to put Rain in?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can scrounge something up. I'm more worried about my own outfit. Use the soap in the purple bottle-"

"And dry on the delicate setting, two dryer sheets. I remember. Detective memory."

"And here I was thinking you were just that well trained."

Robin actually chuckled. "Raven, I really ought to see a psychiatrist about this penchant I have for seeking out relationships that constantly challenge me."

"You could, but you know you enjoy it too much." Raven placed her spoon down, looking at him directly. "We thrive on this. It's good for us. And you know there's nothing mean-spirited about it."

"Perish the thought." Robin smirked. "So what else will you do today aside from meditating."

"I'll manage just fine. You know how I hate to be alone." She smirked. "We're going to that auction tonight, with Cyborg?"

"As long as you're up to going."

"As long as Terra is up to watching Rain."

Robin chuckled. "Gee, a whole night of Terra playing house with Beast Boy and using Rain as their surrogate child, I'm sure she'll say no."

"I warned you what would happen if we made Terra the godmother."

Robin shrugged. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

"I'm less worried about her influence than _his_."

"Beast Boy? He's housetrained…"

Raven rolled her eyes, pushing her empty bowl away from her. I'm going to take a shower."

"Sounds like fun." Robin smirked. "Can I wash your back?"

"No." Raven said flatly, maneuvering to the kitchen and placing her bowl in the sink. "You and Rain still need to find out if the Coyote catches the Roadrunner." She crossed back to the living room, stopping behind the booster seat Rain currently occupied. Tentatively, Raven reached out and ruffled her daughter's jet black hair. It was the same consistency of her own, though noticeably shorter, and it definitely looked like she got the color from her father's end of the gene pool. The little girl's skin was somewhat wan—not as pale as her own, but not as humanly pronounced as Robin's either. It was almost a dichotomy—while Rain only had a quarter of her DNA from demon heritage, there were definite pronunciations of it in her appearance….a human softness molded around it. And yet, Rain was far from emotionally stunted, an openly happy child who generally only fussed over meals…more directly over who fed her rather than what she was eating. "Can you was the dishes?"

"I'll put it on my to do list along with the laundry." Robin smiled, taking a napkin and cleaning Rain's face. "Come on, lets you and me go see if the Coyote can manage not to fall off a cliff again." He hoisted the girl out of her booster seat and up onto his shoulders, carrying her back to the sofa.

Raven found herself watching, a warm feeling she still found herself unready for settling in her stomach. She journeyed to the bathroom in their apartment in a sort of haze, shutting the door behind her. Sometimes, life could be so different. She was in the third stage, now. Started over again. The first time, she had lost her home and everything she knew. And the second time had threatened to be far worse. But she was still alive. The last remaining link to a long forgotten place. She wondered, somewhere, if her life had a new prophecy of sorts. One no longer dark and tragic, but perhaps filled with the unknown. Indeed, maybe she was the one who was writing it. What was that saying that Robin was so fond of? She looked into the mirror, the words coming back to her.

"_Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate and captain of your soul_."

She could remember a time now, rather clearly, when it had been truer than ever.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Three Years Ago…

She stood before him like a siren, pleading, desperate, full of promise, full of hope. Robin felt his throat tighten. "Terra…"

"I never really got out, did I? I wasn't as clever as you. Wasn't as strong." She whispered.

"That isn't true."

"You were always planning, always angling, always searching for a way to break free of Slade when he had you. Not like me."

"Stop this, you shouldn't say that. You did it your own way."

"You don't understand my hatred." Terra whispered.

"Hatred?"

"What I told you, when we fought. What I told all of you. Don't you understand? I was trying to kill you because I was too weak to kill myself. I was too weak to take it into my own hands."

"Terra…"

"I tried to. So many times. Long before we met. Once or twice even while I was with you, betraying you. But I couldn't do it. So I pretended the best I could. Attacking all of you was so much easier when I imagined doing it to myself. I can never be punished enough for what I've done."

"But you can be forgiven. It's in the past. We don't hold what you did against you."

"This has nothing to do with the Teen Titans! Don't you know my pain? I killed them…I killed my own family. My parents…they died because I lost control of my power. People I tried to help…they were hurt, they were crippled, they were killed. I tried to help. But all I've done is hurt. Not like you. So now, finally, you can end the suffering."

"We did, Terra. You'll never be alone again. All of us are here. We're going to help you, one day at a time. We'll help you live. We'll help you love. And we'll help you learn how to control your power. Trust us."

"You're going to help me? You're going to hold me? You're going to love me? Heal all my pain?"

"Yes…"

"Then do it. Now."

It was so simple a request, and the hero's arms captured her exactly as she'd wanted, holding her, enveloping her, lending her the strength she needed. Her small hands sought his, feeling the shapes of his fingers, the strength behind them. She brought them up to her shoulders, encouraging him to feel her, know her, measure her fragility. He held on tightly, eyes behind his mask becoming moist. She was full of so much suffering, and he would make all of it his own just to free her.

She inclined her head rhythmically, drawing his hands to her beautiful neck She held his hands there with her own, looking up at him expectantly. "Now." She whispered, finally possessing the courage she had never once had in her life. "Do it now."

"Terra…"

"Squeeze…" She whispered. "I want you to…"

He couldn't think clearly. Her need was too much, her intent so clear. It overpowered his own, and he did as she asked, grasping her delicate skin with both hands, squeezing tightly, just as she had begged him to. He could feel her life in his hands, weak and tired. It was so easy, and despite any pain she might have felt from her windpipe being crushed, any bruising she might have helped, the blonde was smiling at him, like he was her savior, like he was finally succeeding where she could not. Her eyes, shone with tears. Finally, her pain was ending. It would be over…

Gasping, Robin's vision swam, and realizing what was happening, he released the wretched girl before him, holding her too him. "No! No Terra, I won't do this to you. I just got you back, we've just made you whole. I won't do this."

Terra coughed, spasming in his arms. "Please, just once more…"

"I can't…"

"For me." She pleaded, breathing shallowly, pushing his hands back to her throat. "Just one more time. Do it until the end. If it's with you, I can last until the end."

"Terra!" 

"Robin I'm begging you!" She cried. "Do it now!"

He screamed with a primal frustration, squeezing her beautiful skin, ruining her, destroying her, just as she wanted. He could feel the warmth in her throat from her trapped breath, from the blood vessels he was crushing. The blonde's eyes bulged from the trauma, and she finally felt her peace approaching. Her vision swam, but the look on her face remained clear. _To the end_. She had suffered so greatly, now her dear profile could at last find peace. "Terra…" He croaked, feeling the life draining from her. He was almost finished. He had nearly set her free…

The force that yanked him backwards was so strong and unexpected that he fell over, Terra dropping to the ground without his weight to support her. Against her will, her body betrayed her, breathing, seeking to pump life-giving oxygen through her tortured flesh and sinew. Robin could see the marks on her throat and neck, the bruises in the shape of his own handprints, like a broken butterfly against her pale, fragile skin. "Terra!" He cried out, her form fading from him, consciousness fading from him…

Robin awoke in his own bed, shouting in surprise at the very unexpected sight of Raven straddling him, her hands on his temples. "Easy…easy…you have to breathe, Robin." She said casually, acting as though nothing was happening. If she was at all embarrassed about their current position or what it might look like to someone else, she didn't betray it.

"What the hell's going on?" Robin asked roughly. "Terra…"

"She's all right, this time." Raven explained. "Beast Boy cried out for help over the communicator. Terra was flat lining."

"What?" Robin whispered, unable to believe it.

"She reached out to you, Robin. Through the bond. She was trying to make you kill her."

"Why?" Robin asked, feeling as though he were about to cry.

Raven said nothing for a moment, then answered with what she felt was the obvious truth, however morbid. "Presumably because she wanted to die."

"It was a dream…it was just a dream…" Robin pleaded.

"No. Raven told him. It wasn't."

"She tried to make me."

"She needs considerable help, Robin. And she is now linked to your mind. Are you up to this? Are you going to protect her from herself?"

"I have to. I could never let Beast Boy go through this. Let her unburden herself to me. Let her hate me for it if she has to. I won't risk her ultimate happiness."

"I don't think it's safe to leave you alone anymore, Robin. From now on, one of us will be watching each of you at all times until this stops."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

For the next two days, that's exactly how it had been. Beast Boy keeping a constant vigil over Terra, while Robin was monitored either by camera or in person. Finally, Beast Boy had succumbed to exhaustion, and the rest of the team was watching Terra in two-hour shifts.

Raven currently stood beside the bed, looking down at its lone occupant. She was so small and vulnerable, cradling herself like a wounded animal. The pure emotional turmoil that bounced off of her assaulted her mental shielding with ferocity, but for the time being, Raven was holding true. She would withdraw when it became too much.

"Terra, you should eat." Raven said, colder than she had wanted it to come out. Vocal inflection was something she found she sometimes had trouble with—no matter what her personal feelings on a matter were, she always had to struggle not to let the emotions manifest themselves. Given even a little leeway, it could take only the slightest thing to set her off and wreak undesirable havoc on the environment. Frustration and annoyance was something she had mastered conveying without incident, but for the most part, her everyday speech boiled down to varying levels of disinterest. Being detached just made things easier.

The blonde girl continued to stare blankly ahead of her. She was there, she heard things, and she reacted when she wanted to. Case in point, Terra responded to Raven's words by pushing her head between her knees. Sighing, Raven hesitantly reached out and placed her left hand softly on the girl's head. As expected, she was immediately assaulted by the inner turmoil within the troubled teen, but Raven allowed it to dissipate around her shielding—Terra had pain, incredible pain for a human. But her own anguish echoed it. Raven couldn't allow herself to absorb Terra's pain, not out of coldness, but for fear that it would feed the darkness within her. She had bested the worst of it with help from her friends. She wouldn't betray them by openly doing anything that might force the to face the horrors of her heritage again.

Carefully, noting Terra's flinch, Raven let her fingers travel gently across the blonde girl's hair in little strokes. "Terra, please eat something. If not for yourself, than for Beast Boy."

"Where is he?" She whispered, trembling.

"Asleep. He's been awake for 65 hours straight watching you. We had to force him to go to bed—Robin reminded him that he wouldn't be of much use to you if he couldn't even see or think straight. He'll be back. This is just my shift."

"Why do you even care?"

Raven paused, taken slightly aback, but the emotions she could sense from the girl betrayed the truth. "You think I hate you."

"Why shouldn't you?"

"You think I'm holding a grudge." Raven nodded. "I suppose that makes sense."

"I know you hate me."

Raven stopped her ministrations, frowning. "No, I don't. It would be easier on me if I did."

"Then don't put yourself to any trouble on my account. I should have just died."

Raven felt a grim determination course through her at those words. "Do you know how much it would hurt Beast Boy to hear you say that."

"It doesn't mean it isn't the truth. I'll only hurt him again. It's all I know how to do. Why couldn't you have just let me be?"

"Because we still care about you. You're a Titan, Terra. You may not have lived as the Titan you should've been back then. But you died as one. Don't waste your second chance on punishing yourself for the first one."

Terra rubbed her face into her knees, looking up only enough to speak more coherently, refusing to meet Raven's gaze. "If all I had to make up for was betraying you all, this would be easy. It's so much more than that. Ever since I was little. Ever since the accident. I've hurt and killed so many people. And the worst part was that I was trying to help. You don't see them like I do. Etched in, over and over in my mind…maybe that's what I have these powers for. I don't want to see them anymore. I just want to die."

"You tried to make Robin kill you, Terra."

"I wanted him to. I couldn't ask Beast Boy. Robin knows my pain better than anyone."

"Terra, you do have things to live for."

"Please kill me, Raven. I just want to be with my parents again. I can't do this on my own."

"No. If you want my help, I'm going to help you live. I'm not going to let you give up. There is a way, Terra. You just need to learn to control your power. On your own, not without someone else doing it for you. I can help with that."

"No one can help me."

"Listen. I can teach you how to meditate—how to find the power within yourself. If you can't perceive it, understand it, then you can't control it. Let me help you with that."

"I want Robin…" Terra curled harder into a ball, rocking herself.

"Robin needs to rest. He's exhausted. There's a part of you in him now. It will take his mind time to adjust."

"He's the one keeping me from ending myself." Terra whispered. "I'm so useless."

Raven's patience began to wane, and she switched tactics. "You listen to me." She grabbed the smaller girl by the shoulders, forcing her to sit upright. "You are going to live a full and wonderful life. Robin risked everything for you. Beast Boy would do anything for you. And you are hurting them by being like this instead of trying. It won't be easy, and it won't come quickly, and it will be full of hard, painful work. But you are going to make it, Terra. You are going to rise. And we're going to help you every step of the way. You're only alone because you think you're alone. You're not. So stop shutting us out. Especially Beast Boy."

"He shouldn't have to watch over me."

"But he will." Raven said flatly. "Believe it or not, Terra…I understand what you're going through."

"What could you possibly know of my pain?"

"You think you're a monster, don't you? You think your life is only about hurting others. That's how you once justified working for Slade, right? It wasn't about getting control of your power—that was just the bait you couldn't refuse. It was about how much you've hurt others in the past, despite the fact that you weren't trying to. He dragged you down to his level, made you think that you were meant to be a villain because of your past. It's what he does. Slade preys on the weakness of others and uses it to his advantage, makes you forget who you are. He gives you a truth wrapped in a lie, and soon you can't tell the difference anymore. You're not a monster, you were made into one. In the end, you chose not to be that way. And that's why you're here now. Are you going to go backwards?"

"That's so easy for you to say. Over and over, I've watched so many people suffer and die because of me. Everyone I've ever cared about, everyone I've tried to help. I never should have survived. This world is better without me, and you will be too. Please don't make me live."

Raven stopped, new vortex of emotions emanating from the small, tortured girl beginning to push past her own defenses. She was running out of time. "What about Robin, then? He risked everything for you. He blames himself, you know. For losing you to Slade. For your sacrifice to finish him. For so many things. He always blamed himself."

"Can I see him?" She asked, shaking a little.

Raven looked at her hesitantly. "You tried to make him kill you, Terra."

"He should be the one. But…I won't do anything. If Robin can prove to me he wants me to live, then I'll do whatever you want."

"This isn't a prison." Raven protested. "We want you to live because we're your friends. If you don't want to believe Beast Boy, or myself then I'll let the others work on it. Starfire is more the cheery type.

"No. I want to see Robin."

"…"

"Please, Raven. I need to see him. You know why better than anyone."

Raven nodded. "His mind will still be adjusting. Be careful." She stated, withdrawing from the medical room. Almost instantly, Raven breathed a sigh of relief as the constant assault against her mental shielding died down. The emotions within Terra were still very strong, but at least no longer the swirling vortex of entropy that they had been when Robin had journeyed inside her mind and freed her. There was still so much anger and hurt inside of her, not to mention the fear. Something had to be done.

Robin looked up from his seat at the Goth girl.. "I know." He spoke before Raven could even begin explaining her exchange with the blonde. "She wants me."

"You can feel her that strongly?"

"Right now, it's like I can feel everything she feels. I hear her voice in my head, crying out."

"I tried to warn you." Raven sat down across from him.

"I know. I'm stubborn."

"As a mule. So is she. But as much as I hate to admit it, you may be the only one that can help her."

"I would still prefer to attempt." Starfire spoke up, appearing from behind a doorway.

"Star?" Robin perked up at her entrance.

"Friend Terra is in need of our assistance. You have done enough, Robin."

"No, Starfire, I haven't. I still have more to do." He stood up, taking the alien girl's hand and rubbing it gently with his own. "I'll be okay. I don't have to go into her head anymore. Now it's about helping that wretched girl find her reason to live again. No one should go through what she has." He turned to look at Raven meaningfully, given the sorceress own battle with her dark nature. "But too many do."

"Robin, I do not wish for you to face this again. You should not be put in this position. The last time, Friend Terra nearly made you-"

"I know. But it won't happen this time. Besides, you and Raven will protect me, right? And her."

"I will not allow any harm to come to either of you." Starfire insisted.

Raven massaged her temples. "She can't reach out to you like she did before, you both would need to be unconscious for that. And she can't use her powers from here. Starfire's right, you should be fine. Physically, anyway. But she'll probably exhaust you mentally and emotionally."

"I'll handle it." Robin breathed, preparing himself. He squeezed Starfire's hand a second time, reassuring her. "Don't worry, Starfire. I won't lose myself."

"Robin…Terra is…in need of you." She spoke hesitantly, as though she were either uncertain of the words, or whether she should even say them.

"I started this. I have to see it through to the end. We've come too far, I'm not letting go of her."

Raven interrupted. "She's determined to die."

"Then I'm going to rip her off of that experience." Robin stated with grim determination, letting go of Starfire. He walked beyond the women gracefully, entering into the isolation chamber that Terra was being kept in. His footsteps fell quietly, but Terra knew he was coming. The Terra in his head sensed the change, and waited patiently, struggling not to shake.

Terra looked up as he entered, afraid to meet his gaze, frightened to ever look away. "Robin?"

"It's okay, I'm here."

She jumped up from her bed, springing forward from the mattress, and Robin had to extend his arms to catch her or they both would have tumbled to the floor. She wrapped her legs around his waist, clutching herself to him tightly. "I'm sorry." She bawled, hooking her neck into his shoulder, crying. "Please, God, I'm so, so sorry."

"Shhh. Hush now." He said, stroking her hair gently, still taken aback by her reaction. "It's alright."

"Don't leave me again, Robin. I can't do this on my own."

"You're not alone." Robin whispered. "We're all here, and we're not giving up on you. Beast Boy has been here for days. And as soon as he wakes up, he'll be back. Come on now, I know you want to smile for him."

"It hurts." She clinched her body tightly. "All these memories, they're in my head, they keep playing over and over…I just want them to stop!"

"You have to get control. It's your mind, no one else's."

"You're in there too." She sniffed.

"Then use me to help organize. You're not weak, Terra. And you're not broken. You've come so far. Don't give up now. You didn't survive for so long to take the easy way out."

"I don't know how. Please, Robin. Just let me go. I don't want Beast Boy to see me like this…please, let me go."

"No." Robin insisted. "We're going to help you, Terra. You have so much left to live for."

"Remind me." She breathed.

"Terra, it's alright."

"No, it isn't. Either let me go…or promise you never will."

"Terra…"

"Promise me!"

"I can't be that, Terra."

"You have to promise. Promise me that no matter what, no matter whom else, you won't ever leave me. If you want me to live, if you want me to go through this, then you have to promise you'll always be here for me. You have to promise! I can't do this without you!"

Robin stood still with the smaller girl wrapped around his body, letting her trembling form slowly relax as he continued to support her weight. "What do you need me to do?" He asked.

"Promise me that we'll always have each other. No matter what else happens, no matter who we might be with…there will always be us. Don't let go of me."

"Terra…"

"Promise."

"What you're asking isn't the kind of promise that I'm sure I can keep. I'm not going to lie to you."

"Then mean it. Promise me, Robin. Please don't make me beg."

"Don't make me promise this, Terra. Ask Beast Boy. He's the one who should. You love him."

"I still love him." She whispered, tears streaming from her eyes again. "But he's not the one who rescued me. He found me, but he's not the one who saved me. He's not the one in my head, the one who makes the hurting stop. I can't do this without you, I can't face these demons. Please, Robin, don't give up on me now."

Robin gripped her tighter, feeling his resistance give way. He knew this was dangerous, that he was making commitments that would have far reaching consequences.

But he would see himself damned before he would fail this girl again. "Alright. I promise. If you'll live, if you'll let us help you, then I'll never let go."

"Never let go." She whispered into his ear.

"Never."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

She pulled herself upward, breathing into his ear slowly, gently, brushing her lips against the lobe. "Save me." She whispered. "I can't take these memories anymore."

"They're a part of you." Robin told her. "But not the only part. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, Terra."

"I've hurt so many people."

"Well we're going to help make sure that doesn't happen anymore. Won't you make some better memories with us?"

"Yes." Terra nodded, still crying, but no longer wracked with sobs . She squirmed slightly in his arms. "I think…I think I'm hungry."

Cautiously, Robin untangled the girl from his frame, setting her down on wobbly legs. "Hold on." He told her, turning around and reaching behind him. "I'll piggyback you."

Awkwardly, Robin helped hike the smaller girl up onto his back. Her physical strength had greatly diminished, but with some effort, he was able to pull her up by the knees, using the balance techniques he had learned as a child to keep her from toppling them both backwards. At length, Terra flatted herself against his back, gripping his shoulders like handholds and wrapping her legs around his torso. She was shaking again, but seemingly more from her precarious position than from emotional turmoil.

Robin took a few slow steps, getting a feel for her weight before moving properly, ducking down to keep Terra from banging her head on the doorframe. "You know, next time, Beast Boy can do this properly. Maybe turn into a horse or something." The masked boy grunted as he made his way back out into the observation room.

"Or a donkey." Raven added. "I'm sure it will go better if he plays to his strengths." She cocked an eyebrow at the blonde girl. "Comfortable."

"I could get used to it." Terra nodded with a small smile, and if it caused her to hug his shoulders any tighter, Robin didn't say anything.

"We're off to the kitchen ladies. Coming?"

"What?" Raven asked. "We don't have to stand in line for the ride?"

Starfire immediately rose, taking a place next to her boyfriend. "It would make me most delighted to accompany you both." She expressed, taking Robin's right hand in her own as she walked, leaving Raven to roll her eyes and follow behind them.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Down in the kitchen, Cyborg had temporarily traded in his auto-mechanic tools for the culinary ones. He was beating eggs in a bowl when Terra and her entourage entered the area, which caused him to look over in puzzlement.

"Either we're entertaining royalty, or-"

"-Terra finally decided to join us." Robin smirked, crossing to the dining room table. He pulled out one of the chairs and carefully bent over so that Terra could slide off of his back into it. "Maybe she just needed the right motivation."

Terra looked a bit solemn as she situated herself in the large wooden chair, and certainly self-conscious. "I know that each of you did a lot to help me. And I know I'm still a mess. But thank you for…for not giving up on me.. I just…no one has ever…tried with me before. I'm really not used to being liked."

Cyborg shrugged simply. "Everyone here has their own struggles. We've all made poor choices at one point or another. And we all have something in our pasts that makes us different. But we're also kind of a family. I mean, check us out. Star's an alien, Raven's a sorceress from another dimension, Beast Boy's a changeling, I'm half-robotic, you've got some kind of elemental power…and Robin's just a plain old, everyday guy. Um, you know, trained by the world's greatest detective in grueling mental and physical skills, of course."

"Nice save." Raven deadpanned, while Starfire hugged her significant other tightly.

"The point being that we're all a little different."

"Not to mention dysfunctional." Raven interjected. She turned to Starfire for backup, but the girl's green-eyes were currently completely captivated by Robin's. "But, we somehow make it work "Speaking of work, what are you making, Cyborg?"

"Battered chicken with my famous garlic red mashed potatoes. Oh, and uh, battered zucchini for the green guy. Speaking of Beast Boy, isn't he going to be rather surprised to see you up and about?"

Terra looked down at the table. "Robin said he's been watching over me for nearly three days straight."

"He has." Raven confirmed.

Robin patted her shoulder. "So now that you're finally out of bed, how do you feel?"

"Tired." Terra yawned for effect. "Groggy. Hungry. But at least I'm out of bed. Do I even want to know what I look like."

Starfire moved over, and hugged Terra from the side in a surprisingly gentle manner. "You look like our friend. Welcome back."

A voice from the staircase greeted them. "Hey, guys, Terra isn't in the medical bay. Is she…" He trailed off at the vision of the gathered Titans in the kitchen, Terra sitting at the table, looking small and wan, but alive. "Terra? TERRA!" He yelled with joy, breaking into a run, leaping into the air, and moving into a cat, landing deftly on the table in front of her.

The feline Beast Boy purred and nuzzled at her cheek affectionately, causing Terra to laugh. "I missed you too." She told him, prompting the cat to hop off the table, morphing back into his normal form.

"Terra! You're okay!"

"Well, I'm something anyway." She smiled, sliding out so he could hug her. She found herself clutching to his form tightly. "Thank you." She whispered, burying her face into the top of his head. "You always believe in me."

"We all believe in you." Beast Boy reiterated, holding her tight, but careful not to squeeze.

"Then I'll try my hardest, this time. With you. And Robin. And Raven and Cyborg and Starfire and-"

"With the Titans." Robin finished for her, ruffling her hair. "Come on, let's let Cyborg get to cooking. I'm sure you and Beast Boy have a lot to catch up on." Robin decided to make a discrete exit from the kitchen, motioning for Raven and Starfire to come with him.

Robin proceeded through the main door, going outside Starfire and Raven looked at each other, Raven shrugging as she followed the Leader. Both women found him looking out over the bay, at the setting sun. "She'll be okay." Robin said, both to himself and his audience.

"Will you?" Raven asked the obvious question.

"Maybe. In time. With help." Robin admitted. "She's chattering like a schoolgirl in my head right now." He chuckled. "I don't suppose she's going to fade, is she?"

"No way of knowing." Raven told him. "You'll need to compartmentalize. If you try to muzzle her, you'll only make it worse. Find a place for her in your head that you can go to when you want her, but where she won't invade your thoughts. Like a room of sorts..

"You can help with that?"

Raven nodded. "I can teach you some techniques. And, maybe a few distractions might help." She let her gaze drift back and forth between Robin and Starfire. "It's a nice sunset…"

Robin took the hint, reaching out for Starfire's hand. "Sure you don't want to come."

"Thanks, but I've never been much for long walks on the beach. I'm more of the late night stroll through a graveyard type." Raven smirked. "See you at supper." She added, floating off to the roof above, no doubt to work in a pre-dinner meditation session.

"You are a good man, Robin." Starfire told him, letting herself be led down to the beach that circled the edges of the island.

"I just do what I feel is right, Star." He told her. "I couldn't be the hero if I were selfish. Besides, I've really only loaned Terra some of my strength. She'll still have to take the steps on her own. We can help and encourage her, but she has to be the one to walk."

Starfire nodded. "Perhaps. But as Cyborg had expressed, we are family. I am most grateful that you are in mine."

"Hey, we're Titans." Robin told her. "We'll always have each other. And we'll always be family." The two joined hands, threading their fingers together and squeezing gently. Starfire seemed to practically squeak in happiness, and the piece of Terra that dwelled within Robin seemed to hum softly, quieting on its own. They didn't come often, but some days were wonderful.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Raven pulled away from the mirror, shucking the rest of her clothing and stepping into her bath. It was amazing how so simple a thing as warm water against her skin could have such a relaxing feeling. Not that today had been particularly stressful by any means, but this was her sanctuary, even if it likely wouldn't last for long. Sometimes, she felt that both Robin and Rain were allies against her in some kind of game that was going on. Not that she worried about her own ability to keep up, but she did envy Robin's ability to interact with their daughter on a more emotional level. It was hard for her to do so, and she was hampered by more than just destructive empathic powers. So many of her own hopes and been distilled into the little girl, it sometimes made her ponder crying. Rain, she hoped, would be the one to break the cycle. That she would never struggle with her humanity, or be the byproduct of a dark prophecy and unholy union. Rain would be able to live life for its simplest of pleasures, and in those ways, Raven quietly hoped that her daughter would surpass her in every way. The very notion made her feel more at ease. And she closed her eyes, letting her mind focus on a lower level meditation technique as the soap and water washed away her more physical concerns. They had already come so far together as a family, she wouldn't doubt know when they were stronger than ever.

Somewhere outside the bathroom, she heard Robin laughing in tune to the television, with the delicate giggling of Rain For the moment, all was right with the world.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

Ok, so it took me a lot longer to update this story than I expected. Mea culpa. I've been trying to figure out this chapter, let it come out of me on its own. And I had other things crowding my head for attention. So this took some time. I also wrote that Danny Phantom Christmas story, so it took me, so I had to switch back to this in my head. Took me awhile to find my legs and get to where I wanted to be with the characters. But lo and behold, it's out. Now just a few days to play with my new PlayStation Vita, and its off to work on the next update. I've got some scenes in my head for Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Terra that I want to take for a test drive, as well as some things on the burner for Starfire, Raven, and Robin. Oh, and Lucky Girl, of course. We don't want to leave her out, she's a singular pleasure to write sometimes.

I'm still pleased whenever I finish a chapter of this story. There's something about the experience of writing it that fascinates me. It's like a story about nothing and everything all at once. I write the chapters to be of substantial length and the plot and character development is coming along relatively on its own. I've got certain scenes I'm building towards, but unlike most everything else I've written, here the journey is the destination. There are probably those out there that read this story and ask why. The only reply that I have is…why not? The study of people being people fascinates me, and so it is one of the central driving themes behind this grand experiment of a fanfic. As long as I continue to do things that everyone hasn't already seen before, then as far as I'm concerned, I'm winning. In the literal, I've-done-what-I-set-out-to-do sense, not the Charlie Sheen sense.

What else to say? Special thanks for the few of you who have looked this over at various stages beforehand, given me encouragement to keep writing, and most of all, to the readers who stick with my idiosyncratic story and watch me continue to produce this thing. Here's hoping that I'm doing something right.

To that end, please feel free to drop me a line, send smoke signals, or better yet, just review this thing and let me know what you think. It will help both of us sleep better at night. Send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

2/21/12

5:22AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM:Asukaphile26


	8. Domesticity

_Domesticity_

Terra went through her Saturday morning routine with a hint of worry. It had taken her time and effort, but she had finally managed to work her way out of Beast Boy's bed. Her partner was not very large, but when he slept soundly, holding her, he was like dead weight. More often than not, it was something she rather enjoyed—that he grew so relaxed and content with her by his side that he fell asleep completely. Although it was difficult to extricate herself from him once that happened. But left to their own devices, it might not be until lunchtime that they ventured forth from his room, and she had things she needed to do today.

Terra entered the bathroom of Beast Boy's apartment, turning on the light over the mirror. She must have slept well. Her hair wasn't terribly mussed, and while there was still some circling under her eyes, she had woken up to much worse in her time. She plucked her earth-tone toothbrush from the little stand on the counter and set to work on her teeth. She meant to take better care of herself, but some things had a tendency to feel tedious. Or perhaps it was only her own nervousness coming to light. Now that she had decided to approach Raven, it was as though she were pushing through a wall of Jell-O. She was moving forward, but there was heavy resistance. Emotional resistance, specifically. It was to be expected. A part of Robin had been living inside of her head for years, now. Asserting himself when he felt like it, making him nestled within her memories, sharing his strength when she needed it. That part of Robin left behind was now a part of her, influenced by her memories and the experiences of her life since that day he took up residence. And Robin was not going to quiet easily. He was too much of a hero for that. He felt that it was his duty to protect her and guide her. The saddest part was that he was sometimes invaluable.

Terra spit out her toothpaste and rinsed, running hands through her hair. It had grown down to her hips, sometimes getting in her face, but Beast Boy seemed to like it, and Robin preferred the way it framed her face. Shutting the door, she peeled off her sleepwear and stepped into the shower. It was not an elegant bathroom, designed more for utility than comfort. The shower was just a square stall with a slightly angled floor, channeling water to the middle. The Spartan design did have one big plus in Terra's book—the small size of the stall warmed it up quickly, making it much more comfortable to linger. Terra set her head under the warm, cascading water and looked upward, allowing it to beat against her face, rushing away sleep. She also took time with shampooing her hair, washing it twice, and also helping herself to some of the conditioner she left in her partner's apartment.

Saturdays were a day when she felt slightly more at ease—waking up next to Beast Boy, going shopping with Starfire and Rain, jogging with Robin, it made her feel a little more normal. Not that her everyday life was so bizarre. They were all a little older now, and they didn't rush into battle anymore. Not when there were so many others to take their place. Not that she would decline to fight if she was needed, but ever since the whole crisis with the Brotherhood of Evil years ago, that different members of her family had told her about, trouble just seemed to be something they had less of in their lives. Which was probably a healthy thing since someone so young and defenseless was living amongst them now. Terra was grateful that her days of being a hero and a villain were behind her. With luck, she would only have to use her powers in productive, landscape engineering ways from now on, although the tingling in her mind told her that, one day, Slade would likely come to them directly. He was a patient man, and preferred to wait until fruit ripened before picking it. She shuddered at her own metaphor. Suddenly, the shower didn't seem as warm and inviting as it had when she had stepped in.

Without hesitation, she shut the water off, stepping out onto the soft bath mats and retrieving an earth-tone towel that she left here, wrapping it around herself and tying it behind her like a makeshift garment. Her hair she tended to with a smaller, white sheet that she wrapped around the top of her head like a beehive. It made her look a little ridiculous, but then again, her life really needed that. Too much of it had been spent in pain and sorrow. She lived, today, because Robin had showed her how to, Beast Boy had given her reason to, and little Rain had given her what even the men in her life could not—hope.

Grinning, Terra scrubbed her hair with the towel around her head, getting rid of excess water. Sometimes, the cruel jokes could be the most fun. She grinned to herself as she slipped out of the bathroom, going back to the bed. "Beast Boy…time to wake up…" She cooed quietly, brushing her fingers against his cheek gently.

Not unlike a sleeping dog or cat, he moaned slightly, stretching, but at the sound of so pleasant a voice, reluctantly opened his eyes—a decision he did not regret at all upon seeing the love of his life in her current attire, or lack thereof. "I think I just found a new reason to get up in the morning!"

She threw him a coy, irresistibly cute look. "I really should get a more imaginative towel." She laughed.

"No, no, it…suits you." He reached out to lift his own chin up when he felt a trickle of drool beginning to form. Blinking, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't still having an unusually pleasant dream, and Terra took that opportunity to pull the towel around her hair free, throwing it over his face.

"And here I thought you'd like my natural color most of all." She purred.

The changeling felt as though he were about to boil over. This was the greatest morning of his life! Very carefully, as though he wanted to savor the moment, he began to peel the towel from his eyes, peeking out ever so slightly at the vision of beauty he had dreamed about nearly every night since first meeting her, only to see…Terra giggling with her towel wrapped around her. "Huh?" He asked, confused. "Wait, but I thought…"

"Aww, did I really make it seem that easy?" She asked, leaning over and stroking his head.

"That was a dirty trick."

"But it was so much fun!" She giggled. "Besides, you don't really want to see me without this towel on, BB. I look like a toothpick with hair!"

"Terra, you know that's not true."

The blonde laughed. "Then why can I eat almost as much as Starfire or Cyborg but it never goes anywhere?"

"Um, I don't pretend to know a lot about girls, but I'm pretty sure if you say that too loudly in public, someone might come running at you with a knife."

Terra sighed. "I just don't think—"

Beast Boy didn't even let her finish. "Terra, you know I will never push you to do anything until you want to. But I promise that, no matter what, no matter what you think of yourself or your body, you couldn't possibly disappoint me, Terra. You're the most important thing to me, and there's nothing about you that could ever change that. You know that, right?"

She responded by reaching out her arms and pulling him off of the bed into a scorching good morning kiss. "Keep talking like that and you'll charm the towel right off me."

"Hey, that was the idea." He smirked, earning a light smack on the cheek for his troubles.

"All in good time. Sorry, but I'm not quite ready for the complications…yet." She winked, frowning slightly as she found her standard outfit of tan cargo shorts and a black pullover. "But I'll make it worth your while when I am, okay?"

"Okay." He smiled, stealing another kiss before she disappeared back into the bathroom to change. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned her back against it dreamily. "Guess maybe I've got it after all." She grinned to herself.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Down in the common room of the tower, Cyborg was at his favorite station, the stove, happily making himself his weekend omelet. All manner of meat and vegetables were stuffed inside of it—bacon, sausage, ham, mushrooms, onion, pepper—it was as though there was no room left for the actual eggs. The burly robotic man hummed a familiar theme to himself as his breakfast simmered in a skillet, noting with satisfaction that the sounds of the assorted meat and vegetables cooking sounded like applause. "Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all morning." He smiled with satisfaction, testing the texture of the eggs with the edge of a spatula.

"I hope not. Part of the whole weekend thing is to go outside and play." Robin advised him as he entered the room from the staircase, Rain riding on his shoulders happily.

"Robin! Didn't think I'd see you so early on a Saturday."

"Rain is kind of an early riser." He grinned. "Comes with being a father." The girl tugged on his hair as if to emphasize his point, and Robin gently set her down on the floor so she could explore.

Cyborg shook his head in adoration. "She really got Raven's face, didn't she?"

"Yeah." Robin agreed. "You know, it's amazing how expressive her face is. It's easy to see in Rain, but I can see it in Raven, too. You just have to know how to look."

"She shares your bed, man. That's called an unfair advantage."

"No, it's more than that. It takes time, but learning her moods is something I pride myself on. It's the little, almost imperceptible things you have to look for. I see it most when she holds Rain. There's something special there. It's more than just a mother holding her child. I think, in Rain…it's like there's a part of Raven that flies free."

"Aren't you poetic?" Cyborg smirked. "Where is the lady of your house anyway?"

"Indisposed." Robin shrugged. "I thought I'd take Rain downstairs." He sniffed. "Making a weekend omelet, I see?"

"It's my reward after a long of week of doing custom work."

"I only gave you two cars."

"Yeah, but I don't believe in doing anything halfway. Besides, we could use the repeat business. I've got my eye on some new features for my baby. And we were supposed to talk about building you and the little lady a car."

"Little?" Raven cocked an eyebrow as she phased through the ceiling, towing a laundry basket behind her with a portion of her soul-self.

"He said it, not me." Robin smirked.

"You know better." She advised him, channeling the laundry basket to his chest. "You forgot something when you snuck out."

"I was going to do it."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And I'm running out of things to wear." Raven explained, spreading her arms to reveal a very baggy T-shirt with a "Baby On Board" emblem across her stomach.

Cyborg laughed. "Hey! I remember that! Jinx and Starfire got that for you as a maternity shirt when you came home looking like you swallowed a bowling ball."

"I was not that big." Raven protested.

"Then why did you need Robin and me to help pull you up off the couch?"

"I could have flown, thank you."

Robin shook his head. "You were worried about the baby, remember?"

"Whose side are you on? I want my leotards back in my closet, by the by. The laundry isn't going to do itself."

"I don't know, Raven." Robin scratched his chin thoughtfully. "I liked the pregnant look on you. Those were some good times. You look good carrying my child. And I was able to read those old Nancy Drew novels to Rain, start honing her detective skills early."

"Because my pregnancy was all about you." Raven rolled her eyes. "Do you have any idea what labor feels like? Especially when you have a confused body that isn't cooperating as easily as it could? Try pulling your lower lip up over your head."

"No thank you. But I was very proud of how well you did." Robin praised her.

"Thank you. I survived by imagining contraception. Permanent, irreversible contraception that would take some of the spring out of your step."

Cyborg and Robin both narrowed their eyes at her insinuation. "Ouch" They said in unison.

"Exactly." Raven smirked. "Speaking of the fruits of _my_ labor, where is she?" Raven levitated herself half a foot upwards, peering around the corner where she saw her daughter fascinated by the contents of a cabinet drawer she had somehow gotten open. Fortunately, it only contained some of Starfire's decorative knick-knacks, so she wasn't likely to hurt herself. Still, no need to wait for an accident. She floated across the room, scooping the girl up. "You can clean up the mess, Cyborg. Robin's too busy with the laundry."

Robin and Cyborg exchanged another look. Robin smiled playfully. "She who must be obeyed. And just think, I live with her."

"That was your idea." Raven reminded him. "Speaking of your ideas, where is our resident babysitter?"

Cyborg scratched his head. "On Saturday morning? Probably cuddled up with Beast Boy in his boxers."

"Now that was an image I didn't need running around in my head, thanks." Raven added as her daughter fussed in her arms, making the tiny dark tresses on her head bounce slightly between her own movements and those of her mother's. Her eyes seemed to widen somewhat as she squirmed, but Raven continued to hold her securely. "Someone needs some serious playtime. What about Starfire? She can't still be in bed at this hour?"

"She's not." Cyborg informed her. "She came down earlier; I think she was going to cook something. Fortunately, I happened to be in her way with my breakfast. You can thank me later."

"I'll thank you now." Robin grinned, hoisting the laundry basket. "You going to have Star babysit?"

"I've really got to get some proper meditation in. Plus, I've been a little distracted from my studies lately. I have a lot of incantations that I need to review and memorize. I've let myself become a dull instrument."

"I wouldn't say that." Robin remarked. "You can be as liberal as Jinx when it comes to doling out punishment."

"Curses and hexes are not my specialty." Quipped Raven. "I try to use my spells for good. You know; healing, inner sight, levitation…" Rain fussed a bit more in her mother's arms, as though she were begging for release. Raven clutched the girl a little tighter, not wanting to have to chase off after her. "…sleep spells." Raven mused.

"She takes after me." Robin said proudly. "She wants to explore and find her next adventure."

"And here I was hoping that my genes would overpower yours." Raven mused. "Come on, Rain. Let's go see Aunt Starfire for awhile. I'm sure Silkie will play with you…" Raven spoke aloud as she floated up the stairs.

Cyborg shook his head as she left. "Man, I don't know how you do it. I mean, she's a fine girl and all, but she's…"

"A challenge." Robin finished for him. "That's okay. I've always enjoyed a good challenge. And the reward was something more than either of us could have considered. I've never really been all that good at letting other people in, you know? Maybe I really needed someone like Raven—she forced her way in. Maybe she didn't entirely mean for things to be the way they are now, but, I couldn't imagine them being a different way. With everything that's happened in my life, for better or for worse, it seems like there's always been a reason.

"Then keep it up, man. I'm glad it was you. You know, I doubt she'd ever admit it, but she really does need someone. Hell, we all do. Without that feeling of family, it's like you just don't belong. I lived too much of my life after the accident feeling that way. I used to worry so much about how I looked, that I shouldn't be alive. It took people like you to make me realize that it's all part of the adventure, you know?"

"Yeah." Robin agreed. "I do know. Thanks for supporting us, Cyborg. I really wasn't sure how this whole…me and Raven thing would go over when we moved back here. For awhile, I thought we'd have to find our own place."

"It was an adjustment. As I recall, you owe Jinx quite a bit. And Starfire. You know that she wishes you the best, but she still…"

"I know." Robin admitted, gripping the laundry basket more tightly. "There are some things you just can't take back." He hated to think about it, but it was a part of who he was, and always would be. The day he cleft Starfire's heart in twain.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Thirty-Three Months Ago…

Robin pressed his palm against the door of Starfire's quarters, his heart thundering in his chest. There were so many things he needed to say to the redheaded alien, and all of them sounded woefully inadequate in his head. How could he possibly make it right between them? But he had to try. He owed her that much. "Star, it's me." He said simply, pressing his thumb to her door chime.

"You may enter." She said in an uneasy voice, letting the door slide open.

"Hi." Robin gulped, feeling rather timid. It was fearful to think of facing Starfire's wrath, but even worse to imagine her hurt and disappointment. But, he had to face up to it. This was the bed that he made, he had to accept that.

"Hello." Starfire said quietly, huddled on her bed with Silkie in her lap, trying very valiantly not to cry.

"Look, Starfire…I know there's nothing I can say to make it right, and I'm not going to lie. What can I do?"

"You could find a way to go back in time and take me with you to Gotham." Starfire whispered. "If you wished it, I would have gladly borne you the strongest and most prized children."

Robin stiffened, wishing there was something meaningful he could say to her. "It was never about that, Starfire. Raven and I having a child…is not why we're together now. It's kind of an unexpected, life-altering…happy byproduct. I mean, I've never been more scared of anything, but at the same time, it just feels right, like it will all work out as it should. Maybe it already has." He sighed. "But Star, we didn't do this to hurt you. I know it must seem that way, and regardless of my intentions, you deserved better treatment. I'm not going to ask for your forgiveness. But I would like to know what I can do to make it hurt less. You can as me anything you want to know, I won't lie to you."

"Do you find…she is more pleasing to you?" Starfire asked, her voice half-breaking.

"Raven is a part of me, Starfire. I just didn't realize it. I never knew, really knew, what she's been through in life before meeting us. It's like the two of us were cut from the same cloth. She showed me things…beautiful and horrible things. I don't know how she managed. I think of my own past, and then I look into hers…and I'm grateful. I had it better than her, in spite of everything. And yet…it's still not that simple. It's more than just being relieved about my own pain. I'm grateful that I can at least relate to her, that I can stand next to her, say nothing…and there's still that understanding between us."

"I was unaware that you ever had these kinds of feelings for another."

Robin sighed. "I was unaware too. I…I should have told you, when it started. It was selfish and wrong of me not to. You deserved better."

Starfire turned away, cradling Silkie in her arms gently. "I had hoped that…that I could take you home to Tamaran again. And choose you as my partner. Perhaps I have misunderstood—"

"No." Robin cut her off. "You didn't misunderstand. I just…changed course is all. I had thought for so long, that you were what I wanted. No, that's still wrong. What I mean is…you were what I desired, Starfire. I was comfortable with you. I didn't realize something was missing until I went back home to Gotham—until I skulked the rooftops of that dark city late at night, on my own, searching for myself. Everything I've become, everything I've left behind. I didn't realize any of those missing pieces were in Raven, that she was the part I'm missing. I didn't realize it, because I never got to know her until then. Not really. Oh, I knew her better than the others, I'm sure. What's the simplest way to put it? Twice nothing is still nothing. And that's what I had, nothing. It was foolish of me. I had thought that the whole Trigon thing, that it was the key to knowing her, the root of her issues. But, I was wrong. Her father issues may have helped mold who she is, but, there was so much more. So much that synced up with me, and before I knew it, I was spending all my free time just talking with her. Somewhere along the line, the ice broke, and she opened to me, and…."

"And you discovered feelings for her you had not considered before." Starfire nodded.

"She resisted, Star. She really did. It was my fault. I wasn't…content with finding a soul mate, I wanted,_ I needed_, to complete it. I couldn't share all I was with her, and then give my heart to someone else. So I gave it to her, and I'm sorry. I know an apology can't ever wave this away, but…"

"I am willing to believe that it was not your intent to hurt me." Starfire said quietly. "But I do not know how I should feel."

"You should feel however you want." Robin said. "If you're angry, you should be angry. Just…try not to destroy the Tower, okay?" He smirked. "I'll be happy to give you plenty of free shots on me. I deserve it."

"Blasting you with star bolts will not make me stop hurting."

"Then be sad if you're sad. Cry if you need to. All I ask is that you not blame yourself at all. You did nothing wrong, Starfire. And there is nothing wrong with you. Raven is not better than you—she's just a better fit for me. But I beg you to leave her out of it. It's not her fault, it's mine. Blame me, punish me, hate me if you must…but leave her be."

"No." Starfire said quietly. "I am grateful for your honesty. But I am also relieved that, if we were not meant to be, it ended now rather than with more complications. But I don't know how to be happy for you. I am sorry."

"I don't expect you to be happy." Robin explained. "You can take all the time you need. But, just the same, when the baby comes, we want you to be a part of it."

"If both you and Raven wish it, then I will be present." Starfire nodded.

Robin stood, not knowing what else to say. "I just want us to be okay, Starfire. I know that it won't just happen overnight, but I want to believe we will be."

"I do not know." Starfire shook her head. "Robin, there is something I wish to tell you. Something Raven said."

"Go ahead." He nodded.

"She said…that she took you from me. Not to hurt me, but because she…wanted to. I could not believe it. But now, I think I understand why. You, too, offer her something special—something that possessed her to reach out for you possessively. I would urge you…not to let go of that. "

"Starfire?"

"Yes?"

"You're a better friend to me than I have been to you. I'm sorry."

"I am too. I will…ponder the things we shall no longer share." She dismissed him. "Go to her, Robin. I will find a way to heal. I am not without help." She smiled weakly. The masked boy got her meaning more clearly when the door opened to reveal Starfire's roommate. She blanched slightly at being caught eavesdropping, but recovered quickly.

"Well hey there, Lover Boy. Broken any homes up lately?"

Robin frowned. "Nice seeing you too, Jinx."

"Hmm. Not at the point where we can make jokes yet, I see." She noted.

Robin literally pushed the smaller girl out the door, letting it close behind both of them. "How is she, really?" He asked.

"You know, Robin, you really should have thought of that before you decided to knock up the gloomy chick."

"It's not that I didn't think of Starfire." Robin sighed. "I just…found something I wanted and couldn't take the time to be more proper. I should have, I know that. But I felt as though I'd been denying myself any real happiness, real completion for so long. What better place was there to lay it all down and wrap myself up in something new than Gotham?"

"She's hurting pretty bad, but she'll pull through." Jinx shrugged. "You should have told her sooner."

"I know."

"But at least you told her the truth. Some guys wouldn't have."

"Other people, Jinx. Not me. Besides, Raven would have accepted no less. But you'll keep an eye on her for me? I just want—"

"For everything to be okay again, sure. But we both know it isn't that simple or easy. Fortunately, you're pretty good at the only ends to what you seek."

"And that is?"

"Time and patience. That's the only thing that will make it better. I've never been much for either of those myself. I pride myself on my impatience. Granted, it might help if Kid Flash weren't also so impatient and…hey, wait, we're talking about you here!"

"I didn't say anything." Robin smirked.

Jinx grumbled, giving him a look as though there were several choice hexes she wanted to try out on him. "You're lucky that I like you."

"I could say the same thing to you."

"Yeah, well…" She let out a breath. "Alright, fine, so I owe you. But you called in that favor when you left for Gotham."

"Then how about for the knowledge that I'll owe you one? I figure that's got to be worth something."

"Fine, but I choose the terms under which I collect." She bargained. "You're just lucky Starfire is so…"

"Friendly?"

"It's not like I wanted to like her!" protested Jinx. "She just…wouldn't let me not like her. She kind of insists upon herself."

"Yeah, that's Star. She gets in your heart and just kind of stays there. You know, even though I've found I don't want to be more than friends with her, I still find her friendship to be something I really treasure. It's different than with the others."

"Just don't go breaking her heart again, okay? I'll take care of her for you. Just remember, you owe me."

"I owe you." Robin nodded. "Just let me know when you come to collect."

"You'll never see it coming, Bird Brain." She chided, moving past him to enter Starfire's quarters. "Hey, Red, I hear you're having some guy troubles…" She introduced herself, the door sliding shut behind her.

Inwardly, Robin wondered if he had just done himself more harm than good.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The girl was watching her. Raven hated being watched. Gawked at. Ogled. Even if it was by someone she knew. She had shut her eyes, hoping it would be easier to go away. But the almond eyes continued to bore into her through the darkness. She could not find her center like this. "What?" Raven finally asked, opening her eyes to look into Terra's blue orbs, opened wide with wonder.

Terra shook her head, as though coming out of a trance. "Sorry." She blushed. "I just…I've never seen someone so…pregnant."

"Neither have I." Raven groused, looking down and frowning at the way her entire stomach seemed to stretch out before her, despite the fact that she was leaning back in a recliner to support her back.

"What's it like?"

"Annoying." Raven said, and earned a kick inside her uterus, as though her unborn child were sassing her. "You stay out of this." She told the large bump, but it only kicked twice more and then settled. Raven sighed. "I shouldn't say that, it's just…harder than I expected."

"Rough pregnancy?"

"You should have seen me in the first trimester. I was sick all the time."

"Morning sickness?"

"Noon and night. I couldn't keep anything down, I was sneezing and aching like I had the flu, I got dizzy all the time…"

"I can't even imagine."

"You wouldn't want to if you could. My entire body betrayed me. It was like my body was saying 'Hey, Raven, screw you, we're making a baby down here.' That was the worst part. The fact that I currently occupy twice as much space as I should, that's just annoying by comparison."

"I'm sorry it was so hard."

"I keep telling myself it will be worth it. To be honest, I was kind of freaked out when I first realized I was pregnant. That feels like a lifetime ago. Now I can't help but think how much this is going to change my life for the better. Although I think this kid is going to grow up to play a lot of soccer." Raven winced as she got another kick inside her womb.

"You, a soccer mom?" Terra asked, envisioning it in her mind.

"Hey, it could happen." Protested Raven. "And that's Gothic Soccer Mom."

"Right." Terra smirked, still gazing at her friend's disproportion.

Raven took a deep breath, realizing she wasn't going to get any peace, and moving to another room would require entirely too much physical effort…and possibly a forklift. She had reluctantly agreed no more flying or levitation after falling on her butt last month while meditating. She didn't want to risk stimulating premature labor. "Do you want to feel him kick?" She asked the blonde.

"Oh could I?" Terra practically jumped off of the sofa, bounding over the recliner that had been setup for Raven's benefit. "I…um…you really don't mind?"

"I'm not going to get any real peace until everyone gets to ooh and ahh over the miracle of life. So I might as well let people get their fill. Give me your hand."

Terra did as she asked, and Raven guided it her rounded belly, skimming it back and forth and finally resting it near her navel. "Hmm, probably around there. He's been kicking a lot in that general vicinity today." Raven explained.

Terra stood expectantly, waiting to feel something. "Am I doing it right?"

"He's not cooperating." Raven rolled her eyes. "Of course."

Robin chose that moment to enter the scene, a grin plastered on his face as he saw what Terra was doing. "Showing off our little bundle of joy, Raven?"

"And failing." The sorceress explained. "He's been kicking me all day, now that I actually want him to, he won't."

"Eight months of growing inside you, some stubbornness is bound to wear off." Robin quipped.

"Keep talking Boy Blunder, and you can sleep on the couch tonight."

"Your bed isn't big enough for the two of us in your current condition."

"Terra., you have my permission to clobber the comedian." Raven bristled.

Robin immediately protested. "Oh no you don't! She's on my side!"

The baby gave a kick of support. "Hey! I felt it!" Terra beamed.

"Oh sure, now he kicks. What is this, some kind of conspiracy?" Raven complained.

"No conspiracy." Robin told her, closing the distance to Terra and his partner. "How are you feeling?"

"I was feeling great until you got here."

"I was only teasing." Robin stroked her arm gently.

"Ha-ha."

"I brought M&M's…." He trailed off

"Give them to me." She demanded.

"First you have to behave…and accept my humble apology."

"I don't have to apologize. You're the reason I'm in this mess."

"Don't act so proud. I've seen you eat M&M's off the floor, remember?"

"That was a family secret."

Terra stepped backwards, caught in the middle of their argument. "Um, maybe I should go—"

The birds ignored her. "Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you're angry?" inquired Robin.

"Is that why you spend half your day baiting me?" Raven asked.

"That, and it's fun." He grinned, producing a large bag of M&Ms from inside his uniform. "I thought you could use a pick me up. They're fresh out of the freezer…" He tempted her.

"And warmed by your body heat."

Robin shook the bag. "You know you want them."

"If I could get up, I would hit you."

"Just say you forgive me."

"Never."

"You're caving."

Raven let out a low moan. "Fine. I forgive you."

"Blessed are those who forgive." Robin smiled, opening the bag and taking a handful of M&Ms, then handing it to the goth. "For they shall receive."

Terra cleared her throat. "Are you two always this…"

"Perfect?" Robin finished for her.

"You should see us when we're alone. We can _destroy_ one another." Raven explained. "This is just pillow talk."

Terra blanched. "Maybe I'm just a little more traditional…" She hesitated.

Robin shrugged, moving to put a hand on the blonde girl's shoulder. "As long as it feels right for you and him, that's what matters. Besides, beneath all that banter, there's a woman I really think the world of. It's just a little hard to find her under that baby bump." He chuckled.

"Be on notice, Robin. I am going to wake you up for every 3AM feeding after this kid is born." Raven told him sharply.

"See that?" Robin explained. "That's just her way of telling me she loves me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." His partner muttered, helping herself to a generous amount of the candies. "Make yourself useful, order out some food. Something Thai. And some fried chicken. And maybe a pizza."

Terra narrowed her eyes. "Wait, you're going to eat all that?"

"No." Raven stated, stretching and running bother of her hands very tenderly over her womb. "He is."

"She's been eating just as well as Cyborg for the last month." Robin told her. "As long as it means our baby is growing healthy and strong, I say she can have whatever she wants."

Raven felt a kick in response to Robin's comment, a smile playing at the corner of her lips "Finally, he takes my side." She rubbed the spot where she felt the kick with affection. "You and I are going to be a team."

"Terra, can you go order the food? I need a minute with Raven."

"Take your time. I'm just so glad you're back." Terra told him earnestly, throwing him into an awkward hug. "Thai, chicken, and pizza, right?" She asked

"And could you get some ice cream?" Raven asked. "Cookies and cream. With peanut butter sauce." Both Robin and Terra turned to look at her. "Don't look at me like that. It's your son's fault."

Terra rubbed the back of her neck nervously. "I think I can get it all. It might take me a little time, though."

"Take Beast Boy with you." Raven advised. "He can help you carry things."

Terra nodded. "See you soon. And congratulations again, Raven."

Raven sighed as the blonde left them. "It's easy for people to say that. They're not the ones who have to give birth."

"I'll be there with you." Robin promised.

She nodded, adjusting her position slightly to relieve her aching back. "It's finally happened, hasn't it? I've become a fat, humongous pig."

"I think you look sexy." Robin told her, and it nearly elicited a laugh from the sorceress, or as close as she was willing to dare.

"That's a little below the belt."

"It wasn't a dig." He explained, reaching out to stroke her hand. When you stand next to me, with your belly hanging out because you're carrying our child, it makes feel so proud, and I think it makes you look beautiful and alluring."

"Careful not to start something you don't intend to finish, Boy Wonder. It's been a long time, and my hormones are hyperactive with this pregnancy."

"Who says I won't follow through? You and me, tonight, you're room. We'll light your favorite candles, cuddle up, and see what happens."

"When you really want to be, you can be quite the romantic, Mr. Grayson." She whispered.

"I'm not the only one. I still have _very _fond memories of my birthday."

"You do realize that was probably the night that led to this." She reminded him, moving his hands down to her abdomen.

"I couldn't think of a nicer way for that night to have ended."

"My birthday has usually been a celebration of death." Raven stated. "That first year after Trigon…I was just existing. I wasn't sure how to handle anything. I felt guilty that I was alive, like it was wrong somehow. You and the others, you gave me the finest birthday ever the year after. You helped me realize that I really had my whole life ahead of me. That I could become whatever I wanted to become. So when it was time for your birthday, I wanted it to be a celebration of life. I know it always makes you think of your parents, and it's good to remember them. But I thought it was high time for both of us to let go of the past and dwell on the present. That was my gift to you."

"And what a gift." Robin flushed. "I had no idea exactly how limber you—"

"Just don't forget that I'm not at the moment." She interrupted his reverie.

"Of course not. But you're still just as beautiful." He promised, kissing her forehead.

"Flattery will get you everywhere. Now, do you mind helping me up? Because I really need to use the little sorceress' room."

"Raven, you have a way with words." Chuckled Robin as he helped pull her out of her recliner to her feet.

"And you wouldn't have me any other way."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Man, I never thought I could imagine it, but you look good with a bun in the oven." Cyborg grinned at her as he slid out from beneath the T-Car.

Raven arched an eyebrow. "Bun in the oven? I hate that expression."

Cyborg rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Any special reason?"

"It sounds so…domestic."

"Having a baby isn't domestic?"

"No. It is. That's what scares me."

"He's treating you good, right?" The burly man inquired, fingering a wrench.

"Honestly, I'm rather impressed at how well he's adapted. If he's done any freaking out over impending fatherhood, he's kept it away from me. I prefer to do my freaking out in quiet, empty rooms where there's no collateral damage."

"So you have become domesticated?"

Raven sighed. "I don't know when it happened. I've never felt like I've needed others to be complete. I'm just me. It's easier that way. But…somehow, Robin's been inside of me—and I'm not referring to the act of sex. It's like there's some fundamental component I was missing that I wasn't even aware of. So if this is the adventure that life has in store for us, who am I to argue? It's a little late now."

"That's poetic." Cyborg told her, looking up from the work sled. "No second thoughts then?"

"None that I'm seriously entertaining. I'm not exactly a pushover. I've let things come this far between us that couldn't have been an accident. So, we've decided to just go the distance and see where it takes us.

"Of course, you probably won't feel that way when you're giving birth. I mean, you look…"

"Big?"

"Well, I don't know if I'd—"

"Spare me the platitudes. I'm perfectly aware that I've ballooned to comedic proportions. My back reminds me every time I move. I'm not entirely certain I was built for this."

"You must've been, otherwise it couldn't have happened."

"No, I think it's some kind of punishment. The whole hassle of being pregnant thing I mean, not the baby."

Cyborg nodded. "You name him yet?"

"Actually, we've been thinking a lot about that." Raven replied. "But we haven't found anything we're really attached to yet."

"It'll come to you. Hey, maybe you could ask Starfire. I'm sure that gesture might make her feel more welcome."

"Or more awkward. I still haven't figured out how best to deal with Starfire. I've tried to be open with her, but, it's hard to imagine how she must feel. I think she's taking it fairly well."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"You're not coping well with this, are you?" Jinx asked, sitting on the far end of Starfire's bed.

"I do not know how to react. When I become sad, the sadness turns into anger. When I feel the anger, it changes into heartache. And the heartache makes me sad again. Never have I felt so…"

"Lost?" Jinx offered.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Okay, so you're a mess. It's no big deal. I mean, getting your heart broken is just a part of life. I've had it happen to me before." Jinx patted the red-head's shoulder. "Of course, revenge was always one of my specialties. With a little bad luck, I've ruined some guys' lives forever." She said with a giddy expression. "Oh, sorry. Some of the old me is still kicking around."

"I understand." Starfire explained. "It would be easier if it were not my friends who had…changed things."

"You held onto Robin for as long as you could, Star. Just because it turns out he isn't the perfect match for you doesn't mean that you don't have one. You know there are plenty of eligible bachelors in the city. And hey, you know, you're not alone. You'll get through this."

"I thank you for your support. I just…"

"Don't really know how to feel?"

"Yes! That is it. I do not know what to feel."

"There's an easy cure for that. When in doubt, shop."

"The mall of shopping? It will make me feel better?"

"There's no feeling that shopping can't cure. Except maybe the feeling that you're broke. Come on, Starfire, I promise it'll help you forget for awhile."

The alien girl seemed to process this statement and then nodded with some determination. "Then let us go. I will endeavor to set aside these confusing feelings."

"Now you're talking. We're gonna get you a whole new look, Star. I promise."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Cyborg clapped Robin on the shoulder startling him back to here and now. "You were spacing out."

Robin nodded solemnly. I was thinking about that day, when I had to tell Starfire. I've never really felt right about it."

Cyborg shrugged. "Maybe you're not supposed to. The important thing is that she got over you."

"I hope so." Robin sighed. "I'm not even sure I'm over it myself."

Cyborg balked. "What?"

"No, no…it's not like that. I have lingering feelings for Starfire. Not romantic ones, more like…she's this great girl that I did something bad to. I didn't mean for things to happen this way, and I never wanted to hurt her. But that doesn't change the fact that I did. Part of being a hero is to make the world a better place. It's not always about just riding out to save the city. Sometimes, it's just one life at a time."

"Have you been doing that zen thing again?" Cyborg asked. "Because you're getting poetic. I like it on you, though."

"Thanks." Robin told him, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "I'd better do the laundry. If she checks up on me and finds I haven't moved, I'm in for it. Trust me, you don't want to be grounded by Raven. It isn't pretty. Or fun."

"I'll keep that in mind, but I'm fortunate enough not to have that little problem. That one is all you, man."

"Fortunately, I happen to like it that way."

"We still up for tonight?"

"I convinced her to go." Robin smiled with his comment. "Should be fun."

"You're not gonna turn this into some kinda mushy-pseudo dating thing, are you?"

"This from a guy who drools over cars?"

"Hey, you know how I feel about certain vehicles. Especially my baby. They're labors of love and works of art."

"So is Raven."

"Now you're just being unfair."

"Fine. You tell her I'm wrong on that one, then. I'll be in the laundry room. Far away from any blunt objects she might start flinging around the room."

"Let's not and say we did. I'm just saying, is all. She's gotta be cool."

"I think we both know that Raven is the coolest girl around. That's why I'm marrying her. But, I am glad there's only one of her."

"Too much of a good thing?"

"Something like that. Besides, I'd rather have the genuine article."

"You're right about that one, Robin. There's only one Raven."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Why so fussy?" Raven asked as her daughter continued to try and squirm out of her arms. Much as she hated to admit it, Rain was quickly becoming an explorer by nature. She wanted to run through the tower and explore every nook and cranny. Unfortunately, the tower proper was not necessarily the safest environment for a toddler to wander, and Rain did delight in seeing areas of the tower other than the living complex the three of them shared as a family unit.

Raven rapped her foot gently against Starfire's door—her hands to occupied with her daughter to ring the chime, and she didn't trust her concentration enough to use more resourceful methods at the moment.

The door slid open to reveal Starfire in a green, two piece bikini and a crème-colored sarong. "Raven! You are most unexpected. I was contemplating visiting the mall of shopping this afternoon and, as Friend Jinx would say, I am, ah, making it easier to meet new friends."

"I'm sure." Raven rolled her eyes. "Look, I hate to impose, but Terra is a little busy doing things I'd rather not think about at the moment. Could you look after Rain for a little while? Terra will watch her after lunch, so you won't miss your chance to go out."

Starfire seemed to ponder for a moment. "I would be willing to look after Rain for two hours." She nodded her assent.

Raven lowered her daughter to the ground, grabbing her hand before to girl could run off. "That would be perfect. Thanks, Starfire. Rain, you be good for Aunt Star, okay?"

Rain looked at her mother as though she had sprouted a second head, and was immediately scooped up by the red-headed alien. "Sorry, Starfire. She's being fidgety today. She's been trying to get into _everything_."

"It is not a concern. I believe that I have many things to occupy her interest. And there is always Silkie. Will you be eating lunch here?"

"Yeah, after some meditating and some studying. I kind of have a full day. If you give her back to me at lunch, I can watch her in the afternoon. Her father is going out."

"She will be in good hands." Starfire smiled, and the look exchanged between the babysitter and the youngling seemed to settle Rain down a bit. Starfire raised the girl's small arm and made a waving motion to Raven. "There we are now. Say bye-bye, Rain."

"Grhchuk!" Rain exclaimed, smiling with delight as though she had just told a very amusing joke.

"It's a start." Raven let out something that looked suspiciously to the redhead like a smile, stroking her daughter's black hair gently. "I'll see you later." She reluctantly turned and walked away. She really did need to meditate, Her emotions were stable, yes, but living in an increasingly crowded tower, especially when she shared living quarters and even her bed with another, meant that she had to keep constantly reinforcing the barriers. Still, the extra effort was worth it. She was no longer the team's solitaire—the girl everyone else wondered about. True, it was a part of her identity that she no longer had, but the trade off, indeed, opened her to new possibilities that she was still discovering each day.

"Promises to keep." She thought to herself, phasing upwards and to the roof for some quiet.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The laundry room in Titans Tower had begun to resemble that of an apartment building. There were four separate washer and dryer units, a small expense that had been made to end conflicts over who got to use the machines when. Under the current setup, it was very unlikely that they would all be busy at one time. This was something Robin was grateful for. His hero costume needed a washer all its own, as did Raven's leotards. Fortunately, their casual wear, and Rain's tiny little outfits, could occupy a machine together. But this still meant that he had three machines going at once. There was going to be a lot of folding to do later, one of his least favorite chores.

"She stuck you with the chores, huh?" A familiar voice called out.

A lesser man would've flinched, but being raised for a significant portion of his life by the World's Greatest Detective and his signature entrances and exits, taking Richard Grayson by surprise was an order of considerable magnitude. "It's a living." He shrugged. "And it has the bonus of keeping me out of trouble. I thought you'd be having breakfast. Or still snuggling." He chided.

"At some point, if you don't get out of bed, you get a headache." Terra explained. "Besides, I have some things to do today. Like the rest of us. Where's Raven?"

"Meditating. We're going out tonight." He grinned.

"Does that mean I'm babysitting?"

"Yeah. But I think tomorrow, I'm going to spend some time with Rain. I don't really see her enough during the week."

"You do your best. She definitely recognizes you."

"That may be true, but I can give up some of my time for her. Heck, how long until she grows up enough to not want to spend time with me?" He chuckled. "I figure I should get in all the quality time that I can."

"You're a good man." Terra smiled, leaning against one of the tables used for folding and sorting. "And a good father too. Sometimes it makes me remember…"

"I know you think it's your fault, but it's not." He said softly. "You know what happened to my parents."

"But you weren't the one who killed yours." Terra whispered, hiding her face.

"No, but even that doesn't make it your fault. Sometimes, you wish it was, don't you? Because then you'd have someone to blame. God knows I used to feel that way."

"That doesn't make it any easier."

"You're a special girl, Terra, who was given special powers for some reason and it took you a long time to learn some true measure of control over them. What happened to your family was an accident. I know that doesn't just make the hurting stop, but sometimes, things just happen. And I'm proud to have you as a godmother to my child. Don't be like this."

"Thanks Robin, I needed that." Terra composed herself, turning back towards him. "I…did some talking with Beast Boy…and I think it's time I ask Raven for some help with this whole…thing."

Robin nodded. "You feel like you're ready?"

"I had to learn to live without you being nearby when you went away to Gotham with Raven. It wasn't easy. I wasn't sure I could even handle it. I don't think I would have, if I didn't have this little version of you running around in my head all the time. He kept me composed when all I could do was cry. Letting go of that crutch feels so hard. But if I don't…I can't ever really give myself to him."

"Are you asking my permission?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She palmed her forehead.

"Then you have it either way." He smiled for her. "I want you to find your happiness, Terra. I wanted that years ago, when we only just met. I always wanted what was best for you."

Terra nodded, feeling a smile appear on her face. "You know, if we're not meant to be lovers, you make one hell of a big brother."

"I think I would like that very much."

As was her custom, Terra closed the distance between them for a hug, kissing his cheek. "So I guess this means there's only one person that can help me."

"She's meditating at the moment, remember. She needs it, and so do I." He smirked.

"Well, since Rain isn't here, I'm guessing you suckered Starfire into watching her."

Robin shrugged. "Probably. I wasn't in charge of her. Raven had her last. I'm sure she found someone to babysit."

"But if you weren't with her, how do you know she's meditating?"

"I can feel it in her aura. We're connected too, remember? Just not in the same way you and I are."

"That must come in handy."

"It's our way of communicating thoughts and emotions without risking any sort of problem on Raven's end. It took me awhile to get used to. When we first started to get serious, we talked about how we could overcome certain things. You should've been there when we first established this connection. She would never admit it, but I could tell Raven was more nervous about it than she ever was about, um, physical intimacy."

"She values her privacy, silly." Terra giggled. "And she was letting someone into a place she had never let others intrude. She was giving you her heart and soul."

"I know. It was…I knew what it was like to _be_ her, for a moment. She's the girl." Robin explained. "That was when I knew, without question, that this was girl I belonged with, belonged to. I think she knew as well."

"Sounds romantic." Terra said dreamily. "I hope I know that feeling one day."

"You will. Hey, since the other girls are busy, what do you say the rest of us rustle up a game in the living room until lunch?"

"What, and give me the chance to prove to Beast Boy that I'm better than him at every game in the house? Sure, why not?" She laughed. "We'll still run later, right?"

"In the afternoon, I promise."

"Okay then." She blushed. "I'll meet you in the common room with BB after you're done playing housewife." She giggled, picking up a pair of unfolded boxer shorts and deftly rubbing them in his face. She ran off before he could recover.

"I am not a housewife." Robin mused to himself as he began folding the undergarment, waiting on the next dryer to finish so he could get another load folded before playing with his friends. "I'm just self-sufficient. Besides, scoring brownie points is always important for a man who wants his Saturday night cuddle…" He wondered to the thin air. _Yeah, that's my story and I'm sticking to it._

Several stories above, a young woman who was levitating slightly in the process of her spiritual meditation had her concentration broken suddenly with a sneeze.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

This chapter took a lot longer to write than I expected. So many different things to pin it on. Work was considerably more full of, well, work in the past few months. Nearly all of my writing is done on the job, so I guess in a sense, I do get paid for it. But it also means that it's something that I pick and peck at. Some days, it's quiet, and I'm able to write for long periods at a time. While others, I don't even have the strength to look at the bloody thing, much less let the creative juices flow freely. The result is sometimes a hodge-podge.

In many ways, this is a story about nothing, but it's about the human condition, I feel. There is something more to it waiting in the wings, a more cohesive plot than a bunch of people just sharing their lives. I just don't want to rush into such things. I'm slowly but surely letting this weekend unfold "as is" in the story, and I will be following that up with more of a real plot. I'm leaving little breadcrumbs here and there which will slowly manifest themselves into a story proper over time. In the meantime, I suppose the very nature of this fanfic makes it somewhat unique. It's a crowded archive with a lot of writers writing a lot of stories in a lot of different genres. My overall goal is to give you something that you can't find in every other story. Maybe I succeed at that and maybe I don't. It's hard to tell. But there it is anyway.

I'm hoping that, with summer more or less underway, things will continue to lighten at work, freeing me up to dedicate more time to this craft. My free time outside of work is dedicated to being with my friends both online and off, reading, gaming, and GBTV. It's a full and diverse schedule, and all of these things are interactive. Unfortunately, I just don't have more time to give. Hence why I have a folder of unfinished stories that I promise myself, one day, will all get completed. But that's neither here nor there.

Special thanks to everyone who supports me with daily encouragement both in my work and my writing, as well as you special people who take the time to review and give me some indication as to what you like or don't like about my story. I don't really know how the average person feels about this thing. Maybe it's hard to put into words because it's just not like most other stories out there. That's okay, but I do hope that people continue to find it at least a pleasant diversion.

I'm going out of town in a week, so I expect the next update in late June or early July. But anything could happen. I just go with the flow. As always, I value your feedback and your communication. So, send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

6/5/12

6:49AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer(at)yahoo(dot)com

AIM: Asukaphile26


	9. Genetic Disposition

Chapter Nine: _Genetic Disposition_

The sun was shining, and the seagulls were squawking, as Raven levitated on the roof of Titans Tower in the late morning sun. While the darkness was something she was more accustomed to and preferred, there was something undeniable about the way sunlight plied its fingers against her skin, gentle and loving and full of warmth. The sensation meant that she was alive, and she soaked the rays, inhaling the warm air. It was peaceful and soothing and allowed her to fall easily into a simple trance of meditation.

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

Raven began her usual mantra, opening her mind. Images swirled before her, were her. The very definition of 'self' for Raven had changed so much within the past few years, slowly grown to accept and encompass others, making them a part of her. _The image of me. _The thought came unbidden, rippling across her thoughtscape. It seemed to change with every moment. Herself. Robin. The Titans. Rain. Terra. Jinx. The countless others that had banded together in a common cause. She was like a drop in a bucket, rippling across them, her life touching that of others. No, it wasn't that simple. It couldn't be. She was more than that. She still belonged to herself.

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

The air had turned cold, and she was now alight upon it, keeping her body sleek and aerodynamic, cutting through the wind. This was a place in her mind she hadn't journeyed to in some time. It was cold and solitary and, once upon it time, it had given her comfort. Distance. How long had it been her greatest companion? Even in her years of being a member of the Teen Titans, Distance had been her only real friend. She was part of the team. She showed up for training. Responded to all team efforts. Looked out for her companions in battle. But then it would be back to her room or another place of solitude. Even in placating attempts to appear 'social,' she had often just stayed in the living area, reading. She couldn't help it. It had all seemed so pointless. Relationships, friendships, family bonding, romance…none of it was something she could possess for more than fleeting moments. None of them really knew who she was, what she was capable of. What would happen. And then her father came, and in spite of a lifetime of preparing…the despair she had felt in those final days still weighed on her tenfold. Even then, when she had turned to Robin, her truest friend…when she had needed to share some measure of her pain and plight with him, he still was unable to fathom the true level of hopelessness she knew. Because once he had been introduced to the situation, he brought with him the greatest pain of all…hope. Hope that there was something to be done, some door she could pass through that could still bring about salvation. But she quickly came to know better. There was no door. She was the end of the world. And no volume of good she spent her life doing would make a difference. Nothing she tried could atone for what she was. She prayed for death, and welcomed the release when her role in the horrid prophecy was finally finished. She had never really counted on Robin being so damned stubborn. But he had walked the line for her, cheated death for her. And that small pining in her heart she had slowly begun to suffer over the years would no longer be smothered with indifference or yield to her negligence. With a new life ahead of her, even her old friend Distance could no longer keep the stirrings of her very heart and blood in check.

"Azarath…Metrion…Zinthos…"

And finally she had to meet with the council of emotions she kept in Evermore and put herself on trial before them. And her cursed emotions like, love, jealousy, lust, pleasure, happiness, and even sorrow confronted her with evidence that forever destroyed her life as she had known it. The simple will she had left for Robin to find—assuming there was still a world left afterward, Raven knew he would have been the one to go through her room, catalogue her possessions, and try to honor her wishes. No one else understood solitude like he did. Like she did. Perhaps, if those events had come to pass, he might have been the person she could have closest related to.

"_If you are reading this, then I am gone, and there is nothing to be done to bring me back. I know that you will blame yourself, but I beseech you not to. There was nothing you could have done to stop it. And if you have survived even a day to find this, then you are already carrying the best I had to offer with you. The contents of this room are yours. I'm leaving them to you because I know that you will not misuse them, will not be so curious as to peek into things better left shut away. You understand what it is like to be alone and private. I thank you for the gift of friendship you bestowed upon me. It is something I have not known for a very long time, and I promise to keep it in death as I have in life. If I have ever said or done anything to make you question where your loyalties lie, I beg your forgiveness. Watch over the Titans, and take care of Starfire. She has placed so much of her trusting heart with you. If we ever meet again, I will answer the question you have held since that night our minds touched. You're friend in this life and those to come, Raven."_

She had never been much for words. Ironic, considering all the reading she had done throughout her life. But they still somehow felt clumsy to her, as though she couldn't find a way to clearly express her intent. It wasn't about friendship, and it wasn't as simple as another boy-meets-girl story. There were times she truly wish that she didn't have emotions. Hiding them all the time was difficult, but not nearly as painful as realizing that she didn't even understand how to express them. How could one make someone understand their feelings without being able to show them, to wear them? Well, except maybe for sarcasm. Now there was a wordcraft she had honed to a fine art, the only thing she could truly express without consequence to the environment around her. And Richard was always there, verbally sparring with her. He understood that she couldn't be emotionally free, like Starfire…like Terra. And yet, he took it in stride. He communicated with her the best way she knew how to, kept up with her, made her more comfortable. If she hadn't had so much pride, she would find it commendable. As it was, it still gave her something of a warm feeling that he was willing to give up even more normality for her sake. But, given the fact that Robin was anything but normal himself, perhaps it only made the sacrifice seem natural.

"Azarath…Metrion…-"

"Um, Hi?" 

The sudden intrusion caused Raven's eyes to start open, but there was only a minor lopsided dip to her levitation before Raven regained her center. "Terra." She spoke simply, rotating herself to face the blonde.

"Sorry if I interrupted."

"Everything's okay with Rain? I left her with Starfire." The sorceress asked, suddenly worried that there was a maternal matter that required her attention.

"She should be fine. Haven't heard anything from Star asking for help." Terra shrugged. "Actually, I'm here for me."

Raven blinked, not entirely sure what her fellow Titan meant by that. "Elaborate."

"It's about me. And Beast Boy. And…and Robin."

"Trouble in paradise?"

Terra nodded. "I need your help as a professional, Raven. I can't…I can't get any closer to Beast Boy…unless I let go of Robin. He's been in my head for so long now, it's getting hard to remember what it was like before he was there."

"And you're sure you want me to help?"

Terra sighed. "You were the one who did this to us. No, wait, that's not right!" Terra waved her arms frantically as Raven glowered at her. "I mean, you helped us join. But this isn't your fault!"

"I tried everything I could to dissuade him."

"I know. No one blames you, Raven. I shouldn't have said that. Honest? I've never really regretted it until now. The only thing that has been hard has been that feeling of connection to him I always have. I…don't mean to come between you two. But I know I do. And Robin comes between me and BB."

"That's the sorrow that can come from your type of bond. It should never be undertaken between two people who aren't truly ready for all the consequences it brings. You can't just…touch someone's mind and not become one with them."

"Robin says that you did, once."

"That was different." Raven tried to explain. "I was controlling myself. I can facilitate bonds between others, but I can't really control how deep they go. It depends on the action of those inside the bond. Robin gave it all for you. He threw himself into the heart of your despair and pulled you out. That's what he does. He never takes the easy way, never does anything without giving his all. That kind of bond, it can't ever really be broken. What I did with Robin was only an echo of what he did with you. Our minds did touch. But we didn't become one as you and he did."

"I'm sorry." Terra whispered.

Raven held a hand in front of her to stem the apology. "He would have done the same for me. For any of us. In his own way, he already has for me." Raven closed her eyes. "You've seen inside of him as well. You know."

"He loved you even then. He just wasn't willing to accept it or admit it, Raven. I…" Terra squeezed her hands in front of her into fists. "I tried…to give him a push towards you. To be honest with himself. When we were one."

"And to some extent, you succeeded. Otherwise I imagine things wouldn't have turned out as they did in Gotham. Although I suppose a lapse in judgment on my part is also to blame."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Raven. It's not your fault that you have feelings for him. And even though I know that Starfire had to suffer-"

"That doesn't make it right. Because of my bond with Robin,_ you_ still have to suffer. Starfire was wronged, yes. And despite her nature, I will never be entirely comfortable with what happened. Though I cannot change it. You don't admit it, Terra, but I know you suffer. As hard as I try, I still play the part of a traitor." Raven steepled her fingers. "I am not blind, Terra. Nor do I choose to be. But I do trust. I knew what I might be opening myself up to when I didn't push Robin away in Gotham City. But I did it anyway. I trust him. And even though I know you are…sometimes weak in this, I trust you as well."

"Raven…" 

"I'm not finished. As I said, I am not blind. I know what you feel for him. I also know that, despite a few lapses, you have been worthy of trust. Because even when you have longed to be with Robin…"

"…I've always known afterwards that I'd end up more alone than I started." Terra finished. "It's funny, you know? I mean, before all this. I never really disliked Robin. I think the other me was attracted to him. You know, he was strong, dependable, stoic, handsome, hunky…"

"Indeed." Raven permitted a flicker of a smirk to cross her face.

"But, the real me. The one you first met—before Slade. He never would've gone for Robin. I never really stopped falling for BB, except maybe when I wasn't myself, or my other self, or…"

"The human bonds we forge among one another—there are none really like the kind of trust that comes with letting someone else in, letting someone else really see what a mess you are on the inside. Allowing them to see your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, learning how to destroy you from the inside out. Trusting them not to do so. It is intimate. And it very often awakens feelings that never would have otherwise. When you see someone in an entirely different light, they can become attractive to you. Your entire perception of them can change. Barriers are broken down. And when you truly feel that connection, it extends any other obstacle. Age, race, beliefs. We can't always control what we feel."

Terra nodded her head, but found herself looking down at the concrete surface, averting her eyes. "I love him, you know that. I love Robin. I'm sorry."

"He feels the same way, Terra. As I said, I understand there is a part of him that I know is beyond even my reach. I accept that. And I trust him, as I trust you."

"And it's time I dealt with it. He's not for me. And I'm okay with that. There's someone else who has been waiting for me for too long. Who has been kind and understanding and…and too patient. I've always cared for Beast Boy and I want to be able to care for him the same way I do for Robin. I know you can't just change it all back. But…do you think you could suppress him in my head? Maybe make it so I don't feel him all the time. I've relied on him for so long now. But I have to cut this cord in some way if I'm going to stand on my own and live my own life. Can you help me?"

"I don't know." Raven admitted quietly. "But I will try."

"Thank you. I'm just…I'm _sorry_, Raven."

"During the time Robin and I have been together, have you ever once done something with him to betray me?"

"No. But that doesn't mean that I haven't wanted to."

"Nevertheless, you didn't. You can't stop yourself from thinking something, from feeling something. But you can control your actions. And you have. Besides, it's hard to fault your taste in men. On the other hand, you've slept in Garfield's bed. I do have to take points off for that."

Terra rolled her eyes. "Everyone's a critic."

"I'm more concerned at the prospect of Beast Boy procreating."

"You should give him more of a chance. He's a fun guy."

"A fungi? I think we're finally in agreement."

"Are you going to help me?"

"I am helping. It's not too late to go out there and meet someone new."

"Raven…"

The Goth let out a breath, extending her legs to touch the ground and shift to a standing pose. "Fine. I'll help you. But it will be a lot of hard work. You've never taken the time to compartmentalize. We have to build a room inside your head for Robin. Unfortunately, he's never going to go away. But you can give him his own space and keep him out of yours so he can't interrupt your thoughts and feelings. You have to separate your own voice from his."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"It would be considerably easier if you hadn't let the issue run unchecked all this time. This will be like trying to train a dog that is three years old instead of a puppy. But better now than never. I know it wasn't easy for you to come to me. It shows maturity." A sliver of a smile crossed Raven's lips. "Maybe all that time with Rain has paid off."

Terra twiddled her fingers together nervously. "Sometimes, I think maybe you should've picked Starfire to be her godmother."

"Actually, Starfire was a strong candidate. Ultimately, we picked you because we were worried that Starfire might get called home to Tamaran again, and it wouldn't be fair to divide her loyalties like that. I've done enough to her." Raven sighed. "Still, I wanted her to be just as involved. As an alien, I know there is much Rain will learn from having Starfire in her life."

Terra turned her smile. "Rain is growing up in Titans' Tower. Regardless of any powers she may or may not have; she doesn't stand much chance of being 'normal,' does she?"

"No, but I don't think she'll be any the worse for wear than the rest of us." Raven paused, looking more intently at Terra, knowing this might be a touchy subject. "You turned out just fine, in spite of everything. And Rain has not exhibited my emotional empathy, so I believe it is safe to assume that she'll be rather well-adjusted on that front.

Terra looked away. "That's what I'm afraid of. I learned to control my powers because of Robin. Because he was in my head. Giving me confidence, something to draw in when I wasn't sure if I could keep pushing myself, when I wanted to just give up."

"But you still did it on your own. You may have relied on that reassurance in your head. But you still did the work, Terra. Robin couldn't do that for you. Not the one in your head, not even the one who was physically there. You are stronger than you think. You have been down a dark path before, and if there's one blessing to show for it, it's that you know the signs."

"But I don't feel strong, Raven. Most of my life, I've been running. I had to become a monster to stop, and then I ran away from that too. All of you have made me feel welcome here in spite of the past. I didn't deserve a second chance and you gave it to me anyway. But sometimes I still feel like I don't belong. Like I'm just waiting for my next mistake. That's the problem with me, isn't it? I always take more than I give."

"Enough." Raven interrupted the blonde's wallowing. "You have to let go of all this doubt you're holding in. How are you ever going to stand on your own if you don't trust yourself to do the right thing? You've come so far, don't hold yourself back now. No one's keeping track of your mistakes. Because no one else wants theirs tallied."

"You're a better friend to me than I am to you, Raven."

"I've just been around the block a few times. You had the fortune of not being here for the worst of my struggles. Let she who is without sin cast the first stone. Besides, I'm impervious to most forms of torture. I'm a parent."

Though the words came out in Raven's native deadpan cadence, there was a feeling of mirth beneath the surface that Terra could pick up on. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. We'll start this week on your training, if that's alright."

Terra nodded her head in an exaggerated bow, as though she were being done a great honor. "Yes!"

"Right. Um, was there something else?" Raven asked.

Terra found herself pawing the concrete slightly with her boot, unsure if she should proceed. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I just…don't realize that you probably understand me better than I give you credit for."

This caught Raven off guard, making her shift her weight slightly "Alright, I'll bite."

"There have been a lot of me, if that makes any sense. Like when we first met. I was just myself. Alone, scared, but I knew I had to show you confidence. Not because I was trying to deceive you then, but because I wanted to fit in. I've met people over the years that have had different powers, but you guys were the first real team—the first people I dared to hope might give me a home. But I didn't trust you enough—because I didn't trust myself. I ran away, to Slade. I knew it was a mistake, but I thought it was the only way I would ever be able to control my powers. Then I became his puppet. And I hated myself. I hurt inside so much, because I knew that I had given up something so precious out of fear. I hated what I had become, who I was, and I used those feelings to make myself hate you and the others too. It was so easy to beat you all with Slade backing me. And the truth is that even while I was doing it, I felt like I was punishing myself. And it felt good, somehow. You see, even when I was at my worst, I was being true to myself. I've been hurt so much in life, lost everything. Making you all feel the way I did somehow made it more bearable."

"You have to let go-"

"This time I'm not finished." Terra pressed on. "Anyway, you were there. You know what came afterwards. I'm still a little hazy on it. I did the only thing I could to save myself, but it was more instinct than anything else. And then, there was darkness. I don't really remember that other life, the one Beast Boy found me in. Just echoes. I remember I…me, not the other me…I think I reached out to him once, tried to push him away for his own good."

"You should have known, he'd never give up so easily. Even in those years you were gone, he never gave up on you. If there is one thing Beast Boy excels at, it's optimism. He always believed in you. He knew that you could be more. And Robin considered you his greatest failure."

"I know." She whispered. "That's the point, isn't it? In the end, what I'm best at is hurting others. Even when I'm trying to do right. Even when I'm true to myself. I even tried to remake myself into someone else. But the truth is that even then, I was only running away. It's what I'm best at. Help me not to run away from this, Raven. Don't let me run away from the only good things in my life."

Terra gave the Goth an awkward hug, which Raven lightly reciprocated. Gathering her thoughts, she placed a hand gently on the blonde girl's shoulder, brushing her hair out of the way. "You're so screwed up." Raven said softly, pulling Terra back to look her in the eye. "But you haven't given up. I will help you as long as you swear to me you won't give up on yourself."

Terra nodded. "I won't."

"Good. Because I've been there. When you give into the fear, when you let go of whom you are, that's when the darkness comes." She suppressed a shiver. "You can't hesitate. You have to keep going forward. You were right to come to me."

"Thanks for listening." Terra breathed. "Sorry if I-"

"No apologies necessary. Go on, why don't you try to get a little rest?" 

"I spent most of the morning in bed as it is." The blonde smirked.

Raven inclined her head slightly. "If you're looking for something to busy yourself with, try this exercise. Build a room for the Robin in your head. Instead of letting him run around in your thoughts, interjecting his opinions, practice going to him instead. You need to mentally contain him—it's your mind; you have to be the one in control."

"I haven't really wanted it until now. The thing is, I have a tendency to make bad choices. I think that having Robin there, since that day, it's kept me on the straight and narrow. Prevented me from making wrong turns."

"Perhaps." Raven pursed her lips slightly, drinking in the blonde's words, acknowledging that he had even imperceptibly guided her at times—a prospect that Raven wasn't entirely certain how she should feel about. "Still, you need to be the one in control. The part of Robin inside of you is really only that. An imprint, an echo. You make the rules inside of your own mind. You don't have to erase that. You simply need the clarity."

Terra nodded. "If it's alright, I think I'm going to try this meditation thing. I promise to be really quiet…"

"At the moment, I need to meditate alone. I'm a bit behind. Perhaps tomorrow."

"I understand. I'm sorry to disturb you."

"You are not a disturbance. I just need a little 'me' time." Raven explained, picking up on an expression she had heard Robin use on occasion.

"Maybe I'll see if Cyborg can use an extra pair of hands then."

"Manual labor can help focus the mind." Raven added.

"Thank you Raven, for everything. I'll see you later." Terra took her leave, finding her way back to the stairwell into the tower and leaving the sorceress to her meditation. "That went better than expected." Terra said to no one in particular as she descended the staircase to the top floor. Truthfully, Raven sometimes frightened her a little. And at other times, she looked like any other mother in Jump City. Well, maybe not _any_ other mother. "I wonder what Cyborg is up to…" Terra pondered as she made her way to the elevator.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Rain's eyes started wide as she stared into the closet of the Tower's resident alien princess. She toddled forward with glee, hurling herself into a pile of multi-colored objects.

"I acquired these at the mall of shopping." Starfire beamed as she watched her small charge rifle through the large blocks. "I was told they are appropriate for your age. Perhaps I could attempt to build the castle I grew up in."

If Rain heard the red-head's words, she certainly paid them little heed as she began to haphazardly stack blocks in front of her, laughing when her small little towers would fall over.

"I have always wondered what it would be like to have children. You are like a gift, Rain." Starfire smiled, sitting down near the closet and helping the little girl to create wonders out of molded plastic. "You would not understand, but at times, I have been envious of you."

Rain, seemingly aware of her caregiver's statement, punctuated it by placing a blue cube on top of the yellow rectangular base Starfire had absently begun to form with several blocks around her. Instantly, Starfire connected the color to the emotion of sadness and melancholy, what Cyborg had once tried to explain to her as the "blues." This made sense to her—the Earthling penchant for relating songs to color. The first time she had really understood the meaning was years ago, when she had lost Robin to her friend in his absence. Blue was a color she even associated with Raven, although she did not wear it. Strange.

"Sometimes I believe you understand us all more than we know."

Rain seemed to smile at that comment, staring down at the small gathering of blocks she and Starfire had pooled around them. Starfire blinked, then looked closer to see what had piqued the young girl's interest. Curiously, Starfire pushed several of the smaller, grounded blocks around, but couldn't seem to find anything. "Rain?" She asked, her green eyes blinking.

Rain stood, toddling back to the closet and its reflective, mirrored doors, as though beckoning her caretaker to follow her. The dark-haired girl turned towards the red-head, an expression of wonder on her face as she laid her little palm flat against the mirrored surface of the door, pulling herself through the mirror like Alice Liddell.

Again, Starfire blinked, as though dumbfounded by what she had just seen? "R-Rain? This is not the time to be playing seek-and-find, please…" She spoke nervously, fearful when she opened the door to the closet and could not find her charge. The alien literally jumped back when the mirror spoke to her in a childish voice. "Stahfar!"

In the over two years of the little girl's existence, Rain had never spoken. Now, she was saying Starfire's name as though it were the first word she had learned a year ago. She was there, in the mirror, looking back at her babysitter with a beaming smile. "Star-Star!"

"R-Rain, where did you go?" The Tamaranian's voice rose and octave, realizing that Raven's daughter seemed to be weaving her own magic spells at so young an age.

"Here!" The little girl smiled, extending her hand, which left an imprint on the glass. Starfire reached out to mirror the motion, but her fingers purchased only the cold, reflective surface, Rain's happy smile looking back at her.

Freaked out, Starfire grasped her communicator so tightly she was in danger of crushing it. "ROBIN!"

"Star, what's wrong." Robin responded in mere seconds, acutely aware of the distress in his friend's voice.

"You must be coming to my room very fast! Rain is-" The alien never finished her sentence.

"On my way." Robin said darkly, literally dropping everything he was doing to respond to the call, a basket full of his boxer shorts spilling sideways. He envied Raven her phasing and teleportation abilities at the moment, racing up the basement stairs two at a time, bypassing the common areas altogether in his sprint to the living areas of the tower. As he reached the living areas, the Boy Wonder vaulted the railing of the staircase onto the landing, passing by the elevator just as it opened for a very confused Terra.

"Robin?" She asked in puzzlement as her Leader flew by her without sparing a glance, but she heard him call out Starfire and Rain's names as he reached Starfire's door, hitting the door chime and banging on it with abandon. Her thoughts of visiting Cyborg set aside, Terra walked towards Robin, determined to find out what the emergency was.

The blonde's wait was miniscule. A visually pale, tall form of Starfire opened her door, pointing in alarm to something inside her room. Robin pushed past his friend immediately, and Terra gave chase, running into the room moments later, only to literally crash into a seemingly stupefied father. Catching herself from completely falling over, Terra staggered backwards, rubbing her delicate nose. "Robin, what's the-" The Earth Mover fell completely silent upon seeing what her friends were staring at, her mouth literally falling open.

Panic wormed its way through Robin's brain, seeing his only daughter inside of a mirror. He wanted to scream, but as soon as the urge came, the training imparted on him by his mentor kicked in, keeping him in control of his motions. "Starfire, how long?" He asked curtly, shattering the silence that had settled for a moment.

Starfire herself blinked, as though something in her brain realized Robin was speaking to her but her brain was responding in a kind of slow-motion. Quizzically, she looked at the frantic father, then the other girl that had appeared in her presence. Shaking her head to clear the cobwebs, Starfire processed the question she had been asked. "I am not exactly certain—only minutes. I called for you very quickly."

Robin nodded. "You did great, Star. But how did this happen?"

"I do not know!" Starfire cried. "We were only playing, with the blocks. Rain simply stood up and walked to the closet and…and…and _into_ it! I do not know how this is possible!"

Trying to keep a calm demeanor, Robin approached his daughter, weaving a path through the blocks on the floor to get closer to the closet. "Rain?" He asked plainly.

The small girl smiled back at him, her hair bouncing slightly. "Dah-dee." She grinned as though she were having the time of her life.

Robin took half a step backwards upon hearing his daughter talk. "She just spoke like she's been doing it for some time…" He muttered quietly, completely confused. "But, she's never spoken a word to me."

"She said my name right before I called you." Starfire ventured, shaking. But she was already inside-"

Robin cut the alien off. "Terra, has Rain ever spoken anything to you when you've watched her?"

Like Starfire, Terra took a moment to recover from the shock of what she was seeing. "Wh-what? Oh, um…no. Babbling and gibberish sometimes, but nothing even close to this. She's…speaking like a girl her age should, but Rain never has."

Instinctively, Robin clenched his left fist. "Get Raven."

"Consider it done." Terra responded, beginning to feel uncomfortable with a little girl she cared for so much in some kind of frightening peril. She meandered out of the room and took off at a pace only slightly slower than the one Robin had assumed to get her in the first place, yanking the door to the staircase that led to the roof open with a force Cyborg would have applauded.

Carefully, Robin stepped up to the mirror so that he was right in front of it, extending his arm so that he could touch it. He reached up to where Rain's dark hair projected as though to touch it, but his fingers only purchased the smooth, reflective surface. This solicited another little grin from Rain, smiling as though she were pulling off some kind of practical joke on her family. "How on earth?" Robin wondered, but moments later found himself looking into the steely eyes of his mate, her face upside-down and locked in grave concern that made her normally stoic demeanor seem warm and inviting.

Raven offered no words as she effortlessly rotated herself after descending from the ceiling she had phased through, landing right in front of the mirror and pulling back the hood of her cloak. She spoke no words upon assessing the situation, running through a myriad of possibilities in her head.

"Did she phase?" Robin asked, interrupting her train of thought. "Maybe she's inheriting your powers?"

"If she had phased, she would have gone through the mirror, not inside of it." Raven explained. "And if she does inherit any of my abilities, they shouldn't manifest like this. She's two. She doesn't know any magic spells or incantations. And we've never seen her emotional state have a reaction on the environment."

"So, um, just to be clear." Robin began. "We're saying this probably isn't a result of you or your heritage."

Raven turned to look at him momentarily. "Anything is possible, but that was my first instinct, and the signs aren't matching up."

"Mah-me."

Every gaze turned back to the mirror, where the girl inside had just acknowledged her mother for the first time. A panting Terra returned to the room moments later, her eyes widening again as she watched the interaction of mother and daughter.

Raven bent down onto one knee, cautiously smiling at her little girl. "Hello, Rain." Her voice threatened to falter, but she kept it even, not wanting to frighten her daughter. Raven extended a hand to beckon Rain forward, motioning with her arm for the girl to come to her. Smiling, the little girl did exactly that, marching forwards playfully, stepping through the mirror as though it didn't exist and into the arms of her mother. Raven wrapped her arms around her child, clutching her tightly as she picked the small girl up, her normally expressionless face showcasing a great deal of relief.

"Raven…" She heard a voice call her name, turning her head towards Terra. Terra did not seem at all relieved by their reunion, the blonde's face still painted with fear and trepidation.

Holding onto her daughter more tightly, the sorceress rotated her gaze back towards the mirror, seeing a second version of her daughter, still smiling happily, still looking as though she were playing a game. Examining the girl in her arms, she could see almost no difference between her daughter and the Mirror Girl other than demeanor. Smiling sweetly, the Mirror rain raised her hand, pushing her palm against the surface of the mirror as though it were a tangible thing. And indeed, it seemed to be, as a handprint appeared on the glass.

"Rain?" Raven whispered in confusion, but the Mirror Rain only smiled at her again and ran off into the ether, becoming smaller and smaller in the reflective surface until she disappeared, the handprint left behind darkening to a blood red color.

Acting purely on instinct, Raven placed her daughter into Robin's arms and charged the mirror, but much as she had explained moments earlier, she merely phased through it, emerging not inside of it, but rather inside of Starfire's closet. "Ouch." She muttered, becoming tangled on a cluster of hangers and unworn outfits she had purchased on many a shopping spree with Jinx.

Robin ran to the closet, opening the doors with a free hand to extract his lover, while holding Rain over his shoulder. "Rae, what's happening."

"I intend to find out." She said darkly, accepting his proffered hand and pulling herself to a standing position. "Terra, find Beast Boy and bring him to the Common Room. Starfire, have Cyborg put the tower on lockdown and then ask him to the Common Room."

Neither of the women hesitated as they rushed out the door, Starfire taking to the air to improve her speed to the garage and Terra running in leaps to the room she often shared with her heart's intent.

Robin adjusted Rain in his arms, stroking her hair and feeling her clutch at him tightly. He lifted her in front of his face to examine her, eyes searching his in some form of silent wonder. She was mute again, it seemed, but he paid it no mind, gracious to have recovered his precious little girl. But he didn't need to be an empath to pick up on the maelstrom of emotions from her mother. "Raven, settle, we have to figure this out logically.

She heard him, but he could tell from the strain on his love's face that it was only one voice among many warring within her at the moment. She raised a hand as though to smash it against the mirrored door that had nearly taken her child from her. "Raven, don't. It's our only lead." Robin said in a more serious, yet somewhat pleading voice.

Her eyes momentarily flashed red, and she pressed the palms of her hands to her temples, struggling against an inner rage she had not felt for some time.

"She's safe for now, Raven. She's right here. Don't you want to hold her again?" Robin asked her, trying to speak more soothingly. "She's okay. You protected her." He encouraged, hoping his voice would calm the storm of the worst emotions within her that wanted control. Slowly, Raven's breathing slowed and she lowered her hands from her head one at a time, breathing heavily. Quieting Rage within her was never an easy task, and while she was no longer a door for her Father, she knew with certain wrong choices that she too could visit much suffering upon humanity. But she was better than that, chose to be every day. And the daughter she held dearer than her own life was all the reason she would ever need to be true to herself.

Breathing deeply, Raven looked into the eyes of her mate. "Thanks." She said quietly, extending her arms to accept her daughter's weight. Rain made no fuss at the transfer, seemingly pleased with the extra amount of attention she was being given.

"For a moment there, I was worried." Robin expressed earnestly, bending down to join his family.

"Sometimes, it feels so hard to fight what I am." She explained. "You give me reason to." Raven explained to the silent girl in her arms, stroking Rain's hair.

"And you worry about being a good mother?" Robin smiled.

"There's nothing I wouldn't do for her." Raven admitted easily, holding her daughter a little tighter before finally setting Rain on her own two feet, taking her hand.

"I feel the same way—about both of you."

"Flattery doesn't do much for me." Raven gave him a hint of a smile, taking her other hand and placing it in his, making them look something like a traditional family unit. "Nevertheless, I appreciate the sentiment."

"As do I." Robin smiled broadly, reflecting the feeling he knew his family could not entirely. "So what's our next move?"

"We keep the tower on lockdown until we determine if this is an attack, and cover up every reflective surface until we know what is happening."

"Starfire said that Rain stepped into that mirror on her own, just like you coaxed her out of it. That other Rain-"

"Don't call her that. That….aberration is not our daughter."

"Do we know that for sure?"

"Richard…"

"Alright, alright. The Mirror Girl, then?"

"Agreed."

"That Mirror Girl, she has something to do with this. But I'm not sure what. She didn't strike me as evil. Or good for that matter."

"Whatever she is, she's not taking my daughter again."

"I know, Rae. It's fun. We won't let this go."

"I've asked you and everyone else to make sacrifices for me already."

"You never asked. Everything I've ever done for you is because I couldn't stop myself. I'd never leave you twisting in the wind."

"But now we have our child to consider, and she comes first."

"That's right. But she needs her mother. You're not doing this alone."

"Richard…"

"No. This is something we all do. Rain is our daughter. But everyone here will protect her. Our little girl has an extended family. They want to protect her. And we can't do everything by ourselves. I know how special she is, but don't shut them out. Don't shut me out. I need our little girl as much as I need you."

Raven relented by letting go of her mate and daughter, switching positions so that Rain was in-between them, and they each took one of Rain's small hands, something that seemed to greatly please her, as she let out a little squeal of pleasure that was almost like a giggle. The sorceress suppressed a sigh, keeping a slow pace to make sure Rain's smaller legs could easily keep up with her parents. "Remind me again how two people as stubborn as you and I decided to have a child."

"Because underneath all the little barbs, we understand each other. You know better than anyone how screwed up I can be. But the two of you, you make me better. I never really saw much of a future for myself before. That's something you gave me. My only regret is the time it took me to realize that."

"Not to tear open old wounds at an inopportune time, but you would've been alright with Starfire."

"Yeah, that's the problem. I would've been alright. But not like this. She's a great girl and I'll never lie to you and say there isn't a part of me that doesn't still love her. But she's not you. She doesn't get inside of me and push me to be the best Robin I can be. Not just some hero who runs around saving the city. But someone who is trying to make a better world for her." He tightened his grip on Rain's hand for a moment.

"Well if you're going to go and speak openly about things…" Raven rolled her eyes.

"Uh-huh." Robin winked.

"Then I suppose I should thank you for pulling me through in my…time of need. I let myself forget who I was, because it was easier. You never gave up on me."

"I wasn't willing to live in a world without you. You had already done a lot for me. I know you don't offer friendship easily. You gave that to me, and I never took it lightly. I should have realized you were my soul mate a lot sooner."

"That isn't your fault. I denied it to myself for a long time. Perhaps if I hadn't…I wouldn't have faltered when Trigon came."

"You came through when it really mattered. I was proud of you."

"Aww, am I interrupting your little love fest?" Teased a familiar blonde, poking her head in through the doorway of Starfire's room.

Raven grimaced. "I thought you were escorting Beast Boy to the Common Room."

"He's already there, with Cyborg. They were playing on the GameStation. She beeped my communicator to tell me."

Raven wiped at her face using her free hand. "We'll be right down."

"I'm sure." Terra grinned, then suddenly developed a serious look. "You belong together. It wasn't a mistake, so don't ever doubt that. Robin and I were joined by you. I saw things. And I know that I'm a complication-"

"You're not a complication." Robin interrupted, but Terra marched over his words.

"I am. And I'm working on it. But what you have is special. Don't loosen your grip on it for anything. In just the few years you've been together, you've already made Rain." Terra beamed, leaning down to give the girl a one-sided hug as her arms were currently occupied. "Think of all the other wonders you might accomplish."

"I'm sorry, my mind wandered to birth control." Raven deadpanned, but the shine in her eyes visible only to those that truly knew her told them everything they needed to know.

"She's a keeper, Robin." Terra chided, turning to make her exit.

"Yeah, I have to remind myself of that every day." He sighed with an exaggerated manner.

"Only every day?" Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Every hour or two I find I need a reminder that I love you."

"That can be arranged…" Robin offered

"That kind of thinking is how we ended up here in the first place. I guess the simple days aren't coming back."

"Yeah, I miss those times when we only had to deal with the Brotherhood of Evil trying to conquer the world and your Father coming forth from another plane to destroy it."

"You too?" Raven asked, in a tone both playful and serious. "I knew how to handle those things…eventually. This is different. My daughter is at stake, and I'm not just going to let something happen to her. I gave up on myself once. But I made a promise never to give up on Rain."

Those words made Terra turn back and embrace Raven in a manner that caught the Goth off guard. Raven's suffering expression made a smile crack on Robin's face. "I gave up on myself too." Terra sniffed. "He has this way of bringing you back. Beast Boy never lost faith in me. Robin wouldn't let me go. And you…you gave me control."

"You gave yourself control, Terra." Raven patted the weeping girl's shoulders awkwardly. I only gave you tools to help you. The rest, like everything, came with-"

"Time and patience." Terra gripped at Raven's cloak. "I'm sorry, I just…I'm scared for Rain."

"We all are." Raven put a hand on Terra's back to steady her. "But we shouldn't let her see that. We don't know what's happening with her just yet, but none of us are just going to let anything bad or frightening happen to this little girl. You're part of her family too, Terra. And we're counting on you."

"Okay." Terra rubbed at her eyes to dry them. "You're right. I'm good. I can do this."

"_We_ can do this." Robin reiterated. "Come on, let's discuss this with the others. I'm sure we can figure out what's happening."

"That doesn't matter." Raven expressed. "Whatever is happening, I don't intend to allow it." She squeezed at her daughter's hands, feeling the small fingers slip between her own. "Let's go."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

In the common room, Beast Boy was scratching his head at Starfire's explanation of what happened with Rain, while Cyborg was putting the GameStation away.

"So, you mean Rain went inside the mirror?" He asked, eyes widening. "You mean like that time Cyborg and I-"

"It was nothing like that." Raven interrupted. "The mirror you experienced is merely a tool I use, a way for me to connect with my various emotions in a safe environment. Rain does not possess my empathy. When she is happy, she laughs. When she is upset, she cries. She doesn't need a Nevermore."

"Okay, so this….Mirror girl. She's not an emotional state of Rain, like the other yous?" Cyborg asked, finishing his task and wanting to ensure he stayed completely in the loop.

"I don't see how. This doesn't feel the same. Something is wrong."

Beast Boy picked up Rain, who had contentedly been playing on the floor with several old TV guides, and placed her on his lap, feeling her head. "I don't think she's sick or anything."

"Of course she's not sick, BB." Terra threw her arms up into the air. "This is…I don't even know what this is."

"I am the one at fault." Starfire hiccupped. "Friend Raven entrusted me to look after her. I have failed in my duties. As penance, I shall wear necklace of _gromstork _so that my shame is known to all!" Tears like waterfalls fell from the alien's eyes, and Beast Boy slid himself up against Terra to keep dry, Rain seemingly enjoying the ride.

"That won't be necessary, Starfire. We're not meeting to assign blame. We're meeting to try and figure out what happened and what we can do to prevent it."

Cyborg shrugged, raising one of his cybernetic hands to his chin. "Well, I guess we could cover all the mirrors in the tower. But that's kind of a band-aid solution at best."

"Agreed." Robin noted. "Let's do that as a precaution for now. Anyone have any idea why this is happening? If we rule out the Nevermore idea, then what else could it be?"

"Some of our enemies have dragged us into some pretty wacky places." Beast Boy offered. "Like Mumbo or Mad Mod."

"Mumbo might have a grudge against me. I beat him at his own game."

"He's been quietly lately." Robin muttered. "But even he couldn't get through the security. And even if he could, why would he have let Rain come back? He would have taken her, and wanted us to know it."

"And Mad Mod's not that creative." Cyborg added. "Guy's a fruit loop."

"Slade?" Terra asked, hugging herself a bit.

"He said he would be back." Beast Boy nodded.

"It's possible." Robin pursed his lips. "But again, he would have taken her, and want us to know it. He'd want us to suffer. He would want Raven and I to know he has her and there's nothing we can do about it unless we play whatever sick game he has in mind. Slade is calculating, and an egomaniac. If he were after Rain, he would want to make sure I knew. I'm positive of that."

"Well this is certainly productive." Raven snapped, her mood more stand-offish than normal. No one blamed her with her daughter in potential danger.

"It's frustrating me too." Robin added, lending her his support. He made an attempt to soothe her through the bond he shared, but found that she had bound it tightly. Raven was brooding, and did not wish to be disturbed from it.

"What if it's just some kind of power of hers?" Cyborg asked. "You said it yourself. She went in the mirror. She came out. She wasn't hurt or upset."

Starfire nodded. "On my planet, it is common for our young to be unaware of their own strength and have accidents. Perhaps Rain's curious nature merely caused her to have an accident. If she is not distressed, she may not understand what she was doing.

Terra snapped her fingers. "She talked when she was in the mirror, right?"

"She spoke my name." Starfire affirmed. "Rain also addressed Friend Robin and Friend Raven as her makers."

"Say what?" Beast Boy asked.

Cyborg conked the team's gesture on his head. "She called them Mom and Dad."

"Oh. No one's ever done that to me." Beast Boy rubbed his head where Cyborg had hit him. His comment earned him an even harder thumping from Terra. "You'd better hope no one ever does unless I'm involved."

Even Raven's surly mood couldn't allow her to miss that opening. "We're the good guys, we're supposed to make the world a better place. I've already slipped up by helping Boy Blunder there pass on his DNA. You pass on Beast Boy's and there's no telling the damage that will be unleashed on the gene pool."

"That sounds like a challenge." The changeling rubbed his hands together. "What do you think Rain, should we give you a cousin to play with?"

"I'm so glad we had this talk." Terra grit her teeth.

Raven resumed order by standing up and walking to Beast Boy, taking her daughter in her arms. Casually she sat back down with Rain, looking into her eyes. "I don't suppose you can tell me what this was all about?" The little girl cocked her head to the side, then made an unintelligible, happy sound and gripped her mother by the shoulders, trying to push herself higher into Raven's arms. "Still not talking to me…" Raven sighed in her frustration, But she couldn't bring herself to be upset with Rain. The girl was only being herself. Indeed, she was getting too old to be so quiet. So why had she spoken when inside the mirror? Pieces coming together in her head, Raven extended her arms to hold her daughter above her head and at arm's length. "Is that it? You're trying to tell me something?"

Of course, even if this were the case, Raven was aware that Rain's development would still be insufficient for her child to actually understand the words she was saying. Still, simple baby words shouldn't' be beyond her. Terra frequently encouraged her with vocal play, and she herself read to Rain, encouraging her mental development. She should be babbling simple things coherently by this point. And she did. Inside the mirror. But not now.

"That's it." Raven suddenly stood up, bringing her burden with her and placing Rain down directly in front of Robin. "She spoke inside that mirror. But she can't here. What if…it isn't her being shy or slow or underdeveloped. What if she _can't_ speak here?"

"Something that prevents her from talking?" Robin asked, stroking Rain's cheek, passing two fingers through her dark black tresses.

"There were complications…" Raven began.

"I remember. I came as close as I ever dared to losing both of you. I haven't ever been that frightened before. Because I felt like I couldn't do anything to protect the family I had forged."

"You did do something." Raven reassured him. "Don't you remember?"

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

And yes, I am going to end it there, because that's the kind of sadistic tease that I am. But seriously folks. It's been a year since I updated not just this story, but really wrote at all. I've done stuff here and there for other people, helped them out with projects, penned snatches of dialogue in IM windows….but I haven't really sat down to just write in a very long time. As I've probably moved at some time or another, I'm getting older. I can never locate enough free time for all my interests. And this is coming from someone who is single and in his early-thirties! Imagine if I were married or had children or…any of the things someone my age usually has. There's a point to all this somewhere. I'll let you know when I get to it.

What I'm trying to put in a more succinct manner is that I don't find as much time to write as I'd like. Hence why I have so many projects on my "to be finished eventually" backed up in the proverbial sink until it's overflowing. But, I recently reconnected with these characters and found the actions and dialogue flowing freely over the keyboard. This story began writing itself again, as it did when I first began it, so that has made me overjoyed. And I already know where I'm going with the next chapter, which is a major excitement for me. I've endeavored to make this story about nothing, which is to say, instead of it having some long, complicated, overarching plot, it's just about a dysfunctional but loving extended family trying to live. And adjust to a more ordinary life. I'm probably not always successful in that, but I feel that these been enough stories that tell of the heroic exploits, and enough romances that tell of the myriad of pairings that could be created. Here, I made the pairing decisions beforehand and have tried to tell the stories of what it takes to make a relationship survive and thrive rather than the simple discovery of love. The easy part has already passed, the long road ahead is where the pairings are now.

That's something that has always made this story such an enjoyment. That it takes characters that live in a universe full of metahumans who have battles for good and evil with ramifications over the entire world. But at the same time, even many of the villains can still be complex people. For instance, I adore how many things can be done with Jinx. She's more than just a reformed villain, and I've only scratched the surface of things I'd like to see her do in this story. Sure, we all love a little Flinx, and I'll pepper it in when appropriate, but I really want to see how she develops on our own. I only hold the pen. I never presume to tell any character how they will or won't act. They tell me. And in many cases, show me. I would rather let them be themselves, rather than try to fit them into my mold. Sometimes that means the story changes on me, often times hardly resembling what I originally thought up in my head. But in every case, it's for the better. Because if I lose touch and become the puppet master instead of the guy writing down their stories, well, then something is lost. And that's not something I'm willing to part with. Even if it costs me readers in the long run. I set out to do something different and I've no intention of running away from that now.

And I'm not really sure what else to say after a year of absence. Except that I've got some great stuff already written out for the next chapter, I'm really going to enjoy this next particular flashback sequence. I think those of you who are such big fans of Rain will too.

Oh, that's right, there is one more thing. I can now be found on Twitter. So to get random tweets from me about fanfics, politics, different fandoms, life in general, etc., love me lordmalachite. Or just Follow me. Whatever. Because your daily Twitter feed needs one more voice.

Reviews always welcome, including constructive criticism. Yup, the spiel never changes. Send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

7/15/13

4:49AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer

AIM: Asukaphile 26

Twitter: lordmachite


	10. Pregnant Pause

Chapter Ten: Pregnant Pause

Robin paced within the claustrophobic observation area uneasily, risking a glance through the glass occasionally. Every time he did, he wished he hadn't. Seeing Raven so vulnerable and in such obvious pain angered him. Especially when there was nothing he could do about this. He couldn't protect her from what was happening, and he couldn't lay the blame at the feet of a villain. The rage he felt inside of him only grew stronger, but he tempered it carefully. The medical personnel were trying to help, and taking his anger out on them wasn't going to make their job any easier. But the worst thing for him was to feel powerless. It was a chilling reminder of when he had had to surrender to Slade, although that was such a long time ago now, and the circumstances very different. Back then, he had only done what was necessary to protect his friends.

This was completely different. There was no way to protect Raven from her own body. He understood all too well what was happening. Her reproductive system and her body had gone to war. Raven's hybrid DNA actually seemed to be working against itself, like one side of her was warring against the other. Normally, her advanced ability to heal herself protected her from the worst most villains could do. But she couldn't heal herself effectively when her own body was causing the problem. More importantly, she had explicitly told him that she would do no such thing.

The baby. Thought of it made Robin queasy. If it were able to think what would be in its thoughts at this moment? Its poor mother trying desperately to save it from her own body that was treating it like a foreign object. An invasion. The thought of it made him shiver just a bit. Life hadn't felt so fragile for one Richard Grayson since the day he lost his own parents. He had always tried to honor them with the life he had chosen since then. But Raven was fading. He knew how this would end. The decision would fall to him.

"You can come in now." The voice over the loudspeaker was soft and gentle. That instantly set him on edge. No one getting good news needed comfort. Robin had been in and out of her room more than once. He wanted to just sit at her side, but he knew his emotions made Raven's sleeps more fitful, and she needed every ounce of her energy available to keep her own body in check, to keep it from aborting her own child. "She's awake. But we'll need to sedate her again shortly."

"I understand." Robin nodded, washing up with a sealed sanitary rag in case he carried anything in his hands that might be harmful. A soft buzzer sounded and the door clicked open. His instinct was to run to the side of the woman who held his heart, who understood him better than he did himself. But Robin forced himself to keep his steps slow yet purposeful. Calm was something he knew Raven desperately needed.

The bed she was on looked like an ordinary hospital bed. Raven was propped up in a reclining position, the back half of the bed inclined. A dazed and exhausted, yet conscious Raven occupied the bed. Her eyes shut, fingers gently running along the surface of her abdomen, hair matted with sweat. "Hey." Robin said gently, trying to give her a greeting like it was any other day.

"Hey." She returned the effort, but Robin's ears could pick up the strain in her voice, which made him worry all the more.

"You're doing great." And he meant that. He couldn't blame her for this problem. Never her.

"I'm just keeping the game going." Robin heard it there. There was emotion in her voice. More than she usually let out. She was centered, not for her sake, but for that of their unborn child's."

"We'll get through this. It's alright."

"It's not alright. My body is in distress. _It wants to kill my baby_." Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper. She was breaking down, and it hurt him so much to see her like this. He had never seen her this frightened. Not even when Slade had come to torture her with his little reminders of her purpose in life years ago. She had been scared then, yes. But that was fear for herself, fear for her friends, fear for the world. This was something she couldn't bear, he saw it in her eyes.

"There has to be a solution. We'll find it."

"Robin, I need you to understand something." Her voice darkened.

"Anything."

"Promise me. Promise me that you will not allow them to take this child away."

"Raven…I want this baby. But if it's going to kill you, I have no other choice."

"I choose the baby." Raven grit her teeth, trying to ignore a sharp pain from inside of her.

"And so do I. But if I have to choose between you and our baby, I can't let go of you. Not with everything at stake."

"Robin, if you allow this pregnancy to become a miscarriage, if you allow anyone to terminate it…if you let that happen, I will never forgive you."

"_What?"_ He whispered, both confused and hurt.

"This baby is my chance to be normal. My child will not have to pay for the sins of either my father or me. This is my victory. And if it means I have to die, I'm ready."

"No." Robin spoke with a bit more forcefulness behind his voice than he meant to. "No, I'm not ready to lose you. Not with how far we've come."

"Would it be more comforting to know that that was the easy part?" Raven asked, letting out a sharp gasp of pain. "I wasn't cut out for this sort of thing. If I go out of this world by bringing something pure into it, then I'm alright with that."

"But I'm not. Don't talk like this. I'm not giving up on you. Either of you." Robin clarified, placing his right hand over her own that was poised just above her womb. "There has to be a way to save this baby without sacrificing you."

"There is. That's why we're having this conversation. It's a very risky surgery."

"For you?"

"For the baby too. They need to cut into my womb and fix it. Microscopically."

"Fix it?"

"For lack of a better term. My body doesn't even know what it's growing, a human, or a demon. The nutrient balance is off. The rest of my body can't recognize it and is trying to treat the baby like a foreign object."

"So they can go in your womb and…clarify things?" Robin asked.

"Yes. If successful, they can regulate the flow to that of a normal human fetus' needs. Then they'll bleed in just enough of what a demon spawn would need to keep my body and Rain's DNA satisfied."

"Did your mother have these kinds of problems?" Robin asked earnestly.

"My mother loved me. I never really asked her about my birth. Rain has only half the demonic DNA that I do, so I can only imagine that it was far worse, and her pain nearly unbearable. She chose to have me."

"I'm glad. I never realized how badly I needed to meet you all those years ago until after I did."

"And you helped me realize that if you only give some people a chance, they will accept you as you are."

"Even Beast Boy?"

"Even Beast Boy. But he is not allowed to hear that until I am dead. And worms have consumed my remains." Raven added.

"Fair enough." Robin consented, reaching up to finger a lock of her hair. "My God you're beautiful."

"I'm strapped to a hospital bed and I haven't had a proper shower in days. There are tubes going into my arms. I am not beautiful."

"You are. I'm not just saying that, Rae. You light up a room when you enter it."

Raven reached out with one of her hands to feel his forehead, wincing at the exertion. "With my sunny disposition? Robin, you're becoming delirious. And I'm the one with the fever."

"No, I'm perfectly fine. I'm just…seeing you for-" He sighed, unsure of himself.

"Robin?"

"I'm trying to put it together. I've always felt drawn to you, you know? It didn't start out as this romantic thing. We didn't have any kind of connection. But that first time we met, I knew it. You were just…all alone. So much like me. And different somehow. Those years passed, and you helped me a bit with my obsession with Slade, that time he nearly drove me insane with fear and paranoia. Then there was that nasty business with your father, and it was my turn to be there for you. And you trusted each of us somehow. Turned death into a fighting chance for life. But that wasn't enough for me. I was so determined to get you back. It was that moment that I realized you were everything. That if I could save you, I could save myself."

"You did. You saved me. I remember it very clearly."

"But that wasn't enough. I felt it then. That you were more important to me than a friend. But I didn't think you wanted this, and I cherished the place I had in your life too much to risk it. So I tried to distance myself a bit. Redoubled my efforts with Starfire. And she made it so easy. Star, she's so easy to love. She has this gorgeous naiveté to her. She sees the best in everyone. I haven't even had the courage to face her and tell her the truth. I know she'll be so hurt, and I hate the idea of her suffering, crying, knowing it was me who broke her heart. Some hero. I can't even face that sweet girl and tell her what I've done."

"Robin, if you want to be with Starfire, tell me right now-"

"No! That's just it, I don't want to be with her. I'll be honest. She's beautiful and sweet and I'm sure we could have a wonderful future together. But that's not enough for me anymore. I chose you, over and over again. I care about Star, a lot. But I was only ever just running away from myself with her, following the path of least resistance. I always knew that Starfire and I would make it. But you—there were so many scenarios in my head where we would go wrong, I didn't much dare to believe that you would even allow us to get started. But still in my heart, I chose you. I put you first. I think maybe I always have. So if I've ever given you the impression that this is just some kind of fling, something I'm only doing because Starfire is around, then let me disabuse you of that right now. I'm not looking to get out of this."

Raven sighed, shutting her eyes to stall her response, concentrating instead on her own body and the war being raged between her immune system and her reproductive system. How long could she endure without help? But what if the risk of surgery induced a miscarriage? Silently, she growled to herself. She hadn't sought out this pregnancy, yet found herself more protective of it than her own life. Strange. Likely it was simply nature—her innate desire to pass her DNA on, something embedded in all living things. And she had chosen her mate because he was an exemplary specimen, with both a strong mind and capable body whose genes would serve the child well. But that was only a small part of it. The truth was so simple, and yet so difficult. What she had really desired was a partner she could share herself with, who would not look away. Who understood what it meant to walk in the world alone. Where else could she ever have found someone who would walk the world with her and make it a little less lonely, who could share a moment without needing to say anything? It couldn't just be an accident that Robin had become her mate. It was more than a hormonal desire or a romance of convenience. It was what she had been looking for. And that was enough to nearly scare the hell out of her. Nearly, but not quite.

Opening her eyes, she looked at his expectant face, a flicker of fear seeming to trace it, as though he were on the cusp of being rejected. "What we have done, however much it means to us, is unforgivable. Starfire not only trusted her heart to you, she trusted me to look after you, that I would return you to her safely. We can never take this back."

"No, we can't." Robin nodded. "But our only other alternative is to simply run away together. And you know how much I hate to retreat. I'll take the responsibility, Raven. I have from the very first moment. Maybe since the first day we came to Gotham. I wanted you so much. It wasn't just some desperate hormonal desire, some fantasy. Night and day, I just wanted to tell you that you didn't have to be so distant, that I would understand even the darkest things you were frightened of sharing. Because I understand solitude. How much we can both crave it. And, somewhere locked away within ourselves, how much we need just one person to share it with. I don't want it to be anyone else. You're everything. And I love you. And if you feel the same way, then I'm going to spend my life trying to make you happy."

Raven's eyes started wide, in a combination of pain at the battle raging within her body, and the declaration her partner had just made to her. "You just have to pour your heart out to me when I'm lying here helpless…"

"I'm not letting go of you."

"Richard…" She hesitantly extended her right hand, brushing her fingers over his, making a slow stroking motion that he responded to by gently lacing his fingers with hers, pressing their palms together. There was a moment of surprise at his boldness, but it was almost to be expected now that she was so helpless. "I…I have never really known what it is to be happy. I've only felt contentment and satisfaction in small, momentary doses. I'm not talking about the downplaying of my emotions because of my empathy. I'm talking about never really experiencing that emotion. Joy. I have never once experienced that level of happiness. Except for a fleeting moment, when I banished my father and realized that for the first time in my existence, I had won the war. Not just a momentary victory over my background. I was now in control of my destiny. You gave me that, Richard. You and this child are my best hope for that future, that destiny that I am now free to write as I see fit. And I am trusting you in this."

"And I will uphold your trust, no matter the cost."

"Even if the cost is the shattering of her heart?" Raven asked. "She trusted you. She trusted me. We betrayed her."

"You know none of this was done to hurt Starfire."

"But that isn't enough. The shame is also mine to bear. I am not helpless. I complied in this every step of the way. Because I…I desired this."

"Maybe now isn't the best time to hash this out." Robin rubbed gently at her left wrist, feeling the restlessness inside of her war-torn body.

"We've been running away from reality for too long. We agreed to go home."

"And we will. But not like this, Raven. You need constant monitoring. Until the doctors can find a way to get your biology back in sync, or…or-"

"Or I lose the baby." She said darkly, tensing. "Not an option. I'm having this baby even if it kills me."

Robin searched her face, looking over its contours. Her eyes masked a far greater physical pain she tried to hide from him, but there was also defiance in those beautiful, amethyst orbs. "I'm worried that it might." Robin whispered, realizing they were facing a true test of their relationship.

"I know." She looked up at him, her stoic face softening. "That makes two of us."

Clenching a fist, the hero tried to make his meaning clearer. "I love you. I know I don't say it much, and I don't show it well. And I know you don't like it when I'm direct about these things."

"I accept your feelings. And I reciprocate as much as I am able to. You understand I may never be able to do so in the way you would prefer."

"I know. I don't need any of that. Not when I have you. You show me, every day. In your own way."

"But we have someone else to consider now. We're having a baby. This is something that happens, and I refuse to believe it's just one of those things, some kind of coincidence, some random chance. At times I wonder if it was…intentional."

"You mean like we somehow planned this?"

"I was aggressive in the lovemaking in which this child was conceived. My body desired it. I felt it at the time. This was more than just simple lust in the heat of the moment. I believe that I may have allowed the reproductive desires of my demon half to overcome my more cognitive humanity. It's a little unsettling, actually. To realize that I may have acted purely on impulse and instinct regarding such a serious matter." 

"And I definitely could have been more careful." Robin added.

"Perhaps. But I didn't want you to be. I remember that. Perhaps I am a little like my father after all."

"No, I don't believe that. A creature as selfish and cruel as Trigon would never put himself at risk for a baby. You're so much better than that. You're everything. Don't you see? When I was still only a boy, after my parents were gone, I asked God for help. I wasn't even sure if I believed in him. I still can't be certain either way. But I asked for someone to guide me. To keep me from losing myself. And that's when Bruce came. And he did exactly that, for years. He guided me, molded me. And eventually I grew old enough that I had to become my own man. But Bruce never left me, even when our differences became to great. I chose to leave him, because it was time for me to become my own man. On occasion, I regret it. But that is the price for my freedom, my desire to forge my own path. But God, or Fate, or Time, or…whatever, it sure wasn't done with me yet. I didn't stop to realize it. But you were sent too. To be different than Bruce. To guide me to be myself. And to show me that there was someone out there who understands what it means to be alone, to be different, to stand by yourself. And I'm not letting go of you, Raven."

The Boy Wonder stopped, abruptly, as though he had no more to say. He looked his partner over, her weakened form still heaving slightly as her body struggled against itself. She struggled in vain to find some kind of appropriate response. She was aware enough to understand that this was Robin's way of making a declaration to her. And every response she could come up with felt flippant or dismissive. Why did words have to be so complicated yet so imprecise? Why couldn't she get comfortable with the idea of letting someone else in? It was more than simple fear. She had given him permission to her private chambers, her bed and her body, her thoughts. But she was still stubborn to share those darkest parts of herself. The side of her she controlled and denied, but could not stop from being a part of her. There was evil within her. It was contained and subdued, but it would always be a part of her. A part she still feared he might reject, and the thought frightened her. Every time she failed to share that aspect of herself, it prolonged a lie that their relationship was being built on. But the stubbornness within her, coupled with the fear, overcame her rational knowledge that the longer she waited, the worse it would be. "I'm not asking you to." Her eyes darted back up towards his, a gentle squeeze of her fingers within his.

"You need your rest, Rae."

She nodded, knowing it was all too true. It was a constant difficulty, slipping into healing trances to keep her body from collapsing, but not allowing it the strength to make a dedicated assault on the fetus it so wanted to reject. "Stay just another few minutes. If anything happens…"

"I won't allow anything to happen." Robin insisted.

"Even so, I want to sleep remembering why I chose this."

"Don't talk like that. It isn't you, Raven. Don't talk like you're going to die. You're going to outlive us all, puttering around that tower by yourself and complaining our baby doesn't bring your grandchildren around often enough."

"You have a…unique vision of the future." She whispered. "But if you really love me, save this baby. This may be the greatest thing I ever do. If I lose it, Trigon wins. Don't ever let that happen…" Her voice weakened, and Robin watched her eyes slowly shut, as her body began to focus more on protecting its precious cargo from her immune system.

Robin dropped to his knees, still clinging to her hand. He ran his free arm across his mask to temper his frustration. It was so disconcerting to watch Raven like this, so weakened and fragile. After all of the things he had seen her live through, all she had suffered and persevered over, her entire life was being defined by a single event again. Last time, it had been her father and the terrible prophecy of her birth. Now, it was this pregnancy. Life could be so cruel.

Planting a kiss on her forehead, he rose to his feet, reluctantly leaving the side of his mate only because he knew she needed the rest, the feel of her sweaty fingers slipping from his own, the fever in her body making them feel so hot to the touch. Almost involuntarily, he could feel his own hands balling into fists, longing for something he could fight, that the situation would manifest itself in a manner he could actually protect her from. But all he could do was wait, and he found himself leaving the intensive care area and sitting in one of the chairs in the observation room, bowing his head.

"Look, God. I don't know if you're there or not. I mean, I haven't had a lot of good in my life. I've never been one of those religious people. I used to think that everything happened for a reason, some reason. Then I spent enough times with the Batman fighting off criminals like The Joker. And you come to realize that sometimes, things just happen. Maybe there isn't some grand kind of plan for the universe. And then I'm forced to wonder when I became so significant in this universe as to question whether there is a plan or not. But I don't know what else I can do. So I'm going to pray. I'm not going to make some kind of bargain, some promise I could never live up to. I'm just going to ask. If you're up there, save her. I know she's different. I know she's not even entirely human. But even that's a lie. That heart and soul of hers, it's one of the most human I've ever encountered, and when we're together, I feel like my heartbeat falls into sync with hers. I never planned on being happy. And maybe that's why you sent her to me. We've done so little, we have so much farther to go. Don't take her away now. And while you're at it, could you please give that baby of ours your protection. I want it. I'll do everything I can to be a father worthy of that child. Please don't take what we made away." He squeezed his hands together tightly, providing an outlet for his mental stress. "I know I'm asking a lot and maybe I'm not even worthy, but I do what I can to make this world a better place. I put it all on the line for her once. It can't be for nothing, I'm begging you, don't make it all have been for nothing."

Throwing his head back, Robin ended his plea to higher forces. There was no telling whether any existed to hear them, and assuming they did, that they would even grant his request. Maybe prayer was only a refuge of the damned, but he'd take anything he could get at the moment. Soon enough, he suspected one of the surgeons was going to consult him about the surgery Raven had mentioned. But until then, the waiting was insufferable. Wiping at his brow, Robin pulled the Communicator from his belt. He didn't want to do this, but he had to talk to someone. And there was only one person left he could confide in at the moment.

XoXo

The communicator lying on the nightstand made its sing-song tones, over and over, and the blonde girl who owned it moaned, groping around for the source of the noise. Some part of her brain running on autopilot groped indeterminably at the nightstand, and after about six chirps, the offending object somehow found its way into her hands. "The Tower had better be on fire…" She groaned and as she finally accepted the call, her voice raspy and laden with sleep.

"God I hope not, Raven and I need a place to come home to sooner or later."

"Robin?!" Terra rubbed at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I know what time it is. It's just…I've got this problem, and I can't talk to Raven about it because she's…indisposed. And I really can't talk to Starfire, though I should. So I figured…you know me pretty well and all, because of…what we share."

Terra drew herself up to a sitting position, pushing some of her covers down. "You're going to expect me to be awake for this conversation, aren't you?"

"It would kinda help. I'm sorry to bother you-"

"You are not a bother. Never that." She sniffed, wiping at her face, pulling her nightshirt down. "I always have an ear for you. You've been there for me so many times."

"Thanks. I-I'm in deep, Terra. I don't know what to do."

"Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. And more importantly, neither is Raven."

"You guys are hurt? Or…or…"

"No. No, not that. It's just…"

"Robin?"

"Raven. She's pregnant."

"…"

"Terra?"

"You're serious?"

"Yeah."

"How could you have let this happen? Geez, when I nudged you towards her years ago, I didn't mean push her down and knock her up!"

"It wasn't like that. At all. It was…ah, I could keep you up all night trying to describe it. Besides, that's not why I called."

"Go on."

"It's…not going well for her. She's in jeopardy of losing the baby. And it's dangerous to her. But she won't let it go. Even if it kills her."

"Oh no…"

"And I have to decide, what to do. Any minute now, a surgeon is going to come in here and consult me. Tell me the options. Tell me I have to make a choice. It may be possible to save the baby, but it could be dangerous. I could lose Raven. And she won't let me take any other action. She just told me that if I allow anyone to take her baby away, she'll never forgive me. I don't know who I can turn to. Raven knows me best, but she's made it clear what she expects me to do. And I just can't tell Starfire. Not now. Not like this. She's going to find out eventually, but I don't want it to be this way. She deserves better than that, better than some breakup by phone. I owe her a real explanation, I owe her the chance to strike me for what I've done to her. But you…Terra you've been in my head, you know me. I trust you."

The blonde felt a lump forming in her throat. "I've missed you so much…" She felt tears forming behind her eyes.

"I'm sorry. I won't be gone forever, I promise."

Terra shook her head, feeling so much smaller and more vulnerable. "I still remember, those awful days after I got my memories back. I tried to make you kill me…"

"Hey, now, come on, that's over."

"…what I remember most, though, is how scared I was to sleep after that. Scared that I would try to make you do something again, scared of how every time I slept, all I could see and hear were people I'd hurt, I'd killed, over and over…" She sniffled.

Robin found himself taking a breath. He'd called for her advice, and only wound up upsetting this fragile girl. He should have known better. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have disturbed you."

"No…I'm not done. Please. I'm…I'm remembering this for a reason. Hear me out."

"Terra…"

"You never let go of me. You held me in your arms and rocked me, shushed me, soothed me…I had forgotten what it was like to feel something like that. You stayed with me each night, until I would fall asleep." Terra wiped the tears from her eyes. "And that was the first time I really felt love, like I was wanted—not because I could be used, but that someone just thought I was a life worth saving. I was so convinced I was too far gone, that I couldn't be saved. You were right, all those years ago when I made you my enemy. I had to save myself."

"I knew you would. Even during the worst of times, I knew there had to be some way to reach you."

"I dreamed of you. When you rocked me to sleep. And I knew nothing bad would happen. I wouldn't wake up, unable to remember what I might have done, who I might have hurt. In your arms, I knew I was safe. And that the world was safe from me. And that piece of you that has been in my head ever since sheltered me from my demons, made me see that no matter my past, I didn't have to be tied to it. Because of that, I found the strength to keep on living. And I will _always_ love you for that."

"You don't have to-"

"Yes, I do. It's not some obligation I feel. It's my heart screaming in my chest. Please don't ask me to deny those feelings—better to ask me to live without breathing. I love you. Maybe it isn't right, maybe it isn't what was meant to be, but I do. And I'm okay with it. This is what I've come to accept while you've been gone. I have to be okay with my feelings, or I'll never allow myself to feel anything else. If I try to hide them, deny them, then I'll never be able to come to terms with them, be able to let anyone else in. So I love you, and I accept that that's as far as it goes. You'll always be with me, so I'm never really without you."

"And you're okay with that? Even if…"

"Yes." She interrupted him, sniffling. "I'll be okay, Robin. I mean it. Now, this is the real question. Do you love her? Do you love Raven?"

"You know better than I do." He told her. "You showed me the feelings I had for her."

"That's not true. You always knew. I just put you in touch with them. So if you love her, Robin, then don't let her go. Don't ever let her go!"

"What if this surgery hurts her? What if it-?"

"Trust her." Terra whispered. "She's trusting you. She's trusting you to honor her wishes. She won't leave her baby so easily, not if she wants it this badly. Do what you have to do, for both of them. And when it's over, be happy as a family, okay?"

"Thank you." Robin breathed, clutching the communicator more tightly in his hand. "I'm so sorry, Terra. I never wanted to make you suffer anymore."

"I'm not suffering." She sniffed, knowing she couldn't be putting on a very believable front with her tears. "Robin, don't you understand? I didn't even know what love was until you. You're the reason I'm able to love today. And if the price for that is something I can't share with you, so bet it. I love you, but my heart isn't broken. Because I want you to be happy. And if Raven can make you happy, then I'd give you up to her a thousand times over, and still consider it the least I can do."

"You deserved so much better from me."

"I've already got the best of you." Terra whispered. "Asking for the rest would just be unfair. You're a wonderful man. And I will spend the rest of my life just trying to be worthy of the gifts you've given me. So don't feel sorry for me, okay? Please don't. I'm happy for you, Robin. You're going on an adventure that is going to give you so much. I wouldn't ask you to trade that for anything."

"And you were worried you weren't worthy. You're a class act, Terra."

"I learned from the best." She said earnestly. "Save them both. And be so, so happy."

"When this is done, we'll come home, okay? I won't abandon you."

"There's still someone who looks after me." She smiled. "I think I can finally learn to let him in now. If he doesn't mind sharing my heart, anyway."

"Who would?" Robin asked rhetorically, encouraging her. "Anyone who earns the smallest fraction of your heart lives a life of privilege. Thank you."

Terra nodded, her golden locks bouncing. "Thank _you_. I know I keep saying it, but…I love you. So pass it on. If you want to do something for me, then tell Raven you love her? Tell that baby growing inside her."

"I'll do you one better. I'll make sure she _knows_."

"Then you'll have nothing to fear. Good luck!" Terra stared after his face as it winked out on the communicator, tracing the tips of her fingers against the screen. "Be happy." She whispered, letting the device fall to her bed. It was so strange. Her entire body felt this wave of relief that she had confronted her own feelings and realized in doing so that she could live without her savior, as long as he accepted her as she was, she could live without being able to sleep next to him every night. Robin was happy, if not frightened for his mate, and the feeling in her gut was one of relief. And yet, tears continued to stream down her face. "I just wish it wasn't so complicated." She sniffed, burying her face in her hands. "Come on, Terra, you can do this. For him, for yourself."

If our love is tragedy  
>Why are you my remedy?<br>If our love's insanity

_Why are you my clarity?_

She remembered reading in the paper how some woman had once assaulted a local deejay at the radio station, insisting he was playing songs about her. Fortunately, the situation never got out of hand. Kid Flash had gotten there in plenty of time to keep the situation from getting violent, not to mention furthering a name for himself as one of Jump City's finest protectors. Still, in that moment, the song wouldn't get out of her head, and Terra wondered if it had been written specifically for her. "If you pull then I'll push too deep, and I'll fall right back to you." She whispered, mouthing the lyrics. "If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?"

It took her several minutes to get composed, but when she did, the feeling that her world wasn't ending was a joy in and of itself. There were no more tears to cry. Getting up, she ran to her bathroom and washed her face to remove any tearstains, stepping into a pair of slippers and leaving her bedroom, moving only a few doors beyond her own. Her right hand came up to ring the door chime, but she hesitated, then punched in an access code, granting herself entrance to the resident changeling's private quarters.

Beast Boy was actually curled up in his bed looking exactly like a cat—no small feat seeing as how he was currently in his normal, humanoid form. She approached quietly, brushing his catlike hair with her fingertips, a motion which immediately caused his eyes to flutter open.

"Move over." Terra commanded, and Garfield began to rub at his eyes.

"Whoa. Is this a dream?"

In response, Terra pushed, making herself a space on the small bed, hugging herself tightly, her back pressed against him. "Do you remember when I came back?" She asked. "How you would sit next to me at night, waiting for me to come out of my coma?"

"Yeah, I remember. I didn't think you would? You were really out of it."

"But when I did wake up, it wasn't your arms I ran to."

"I…" His face appearing crestfallen, he looked down at the blanket, away from her. "Yeah."

"I was never rejecting you, BB." She sniffed, reaching out to him. "I just…felt so safe with him. Because he was with me, when it all happened. In his arms, nothing bad could ever happen to me…"

"I guess it's only natural. S'okay. I'd rather see you with Robin then have lost you."

"I know. But that's not what I'm here for. He held me for as long as he could. And I love him, God help me."

"I know. But I'd still rather lose you like this, then have you lost forever. You're back. It's not so bad, losing you to a guy like him."

"No, that's just it. He doesn't love me. He loves someone else."

"It's cool. You don't have to try and make me feel better about it. I'm not happy about it, or anything, but I'm just glad you're here, Terra."

"Stop talking." Terra whispered, turning around. She placed her hands on his shoulders, bring her lips to his cheek. "Listen." She whispered in between flash-kisses. "You've always been there for me. And all this time, I've never really let you in. And it wasn't that I didn't like you. Back in that time, when I was Slade's apprentice, you were the one thing I never had to lie about. And I've just been so messed up since. I didn't mean for this thing to happen between Robin and I. And neither did he. But it's done. And I want him to be happy. I've never had anyone do what he has for me. And the part that hurts is I know that you would have. I _know_ it. And in spite of these complicated feelings, you are not unworthy. Far from it. And lost somewhere inside of me is what we once shared. I betrayed it because I was so afraid of myself, of Slade. I'm not afraid anymore, BB." Her voice hitched, and she clutched at him tightly, pressing him against herself as hard as she could. "I think my heart can have room for more than one person. I don't know what will happen. And I know I can't just stop feeling for him. But Robin is happy. He found what he was looking for. And the funny thing is, I'm not sad. I'm so, so happy for him. I know what my heart wants, but I think…I think even more than that, it just wants to know that he's happy. So would you like to try? Will you put up with me?"

"Put up with you?"

"I know it won't be easy."

"I seem to recall being told by a mutual friend of ours to take it one day at a time with you." 

"Today's a new day." Terra whispered. "And every day thereafter." She brushed her lips against his, her hair briefly flaring around them.

"I'm warning you, I'm gonna keep trying to make you happy, Terra."

"You make me smile. That's a really good start." She leaned forward with her weight, pushing them down against the mattress. "Hold me, okay? Until I fall asleep?"

"Until you wake up." He smiled, stroking her long, blonde tresses as she burrowed her face into his chest, her right arm coming up to scratch behind his ear, inhaling his scent.

"You're a good man." She yawned, drinking in his warmth. She felt the only response she needed when his arms encircled her body, his eyes shutting dreamily as he held in his arms the only woman he felt could ever hold his heart.

XoXo

Starfire sat hunched up in her bed, her knees tucked into her chest as she stared at the blankness of her communicator, the bright light from its empty white screen bathing her in illumination. Jinx stirred in the bed across from hers slightly, an annoyed expression on her face. "Go to sleep, Princess." The young witch commanded, but the alien shook her head sadly.

"I cannot. I had thought that Robin was trying to reach me."

"At three-thirty in the morning?" Jinx cocked an eyebrow, yawning.

"Apologies. I did not mean to awaken you."

"I used to live with five idiotic teenage boys. Trust me, I learned to sleep with one-eye open. Attempting to raid my panty drawer was like their number one hobby outside of video games and pigging out. At least a girl can get some privacy around here!"

"Mmm.."

"Are you even listening?"

"…."

Jinx palmed her face. "Silkie's talked to me about getting his own place, really spreading his wings, get to know the nightlife scene."

"I see." Starfire said absently. "Why does Robin not call?"

"He's probably getting his beauty sleep. Although in his case, I guess that's only a metaphor. Then again, he is in Gotham. So he might be waist deep in human scum right now and can't come to the phone."

"But it has been over a _grantorp_ since we last spoke! He would not be taking this long! Something is wrong!" Starfire rose to her feet in a flash, stamping her foot. "I must go to the City of Gotham and save Robin!"

Jinx scratched her head. "Or, you could just try calling him. It's the twentieth century. I know you didn't grow up on Earth, but it's not unusual for a girl to call up a guy nowadays."

The redhead started, as though such an idea had not even occurred to her. "I had not considered this option."

"You know, if you're lonely, I'm sure the two of us could scare up some pretty fine dates. Trust me, if I don't make Kid Flash appreciate what he has, he'll look for another soul to save. I mean, Rob's an okay guy and all, but you could do better."

"But Friend Robin and I are locked within the fifth stages of Tamaranian courtship rites. I would not engage in social activities outside the range of friendship with another male until at least stage seventeen."

"And exactly how many stages are there?"

"It can depend on the province, but the most widely accepted customs have twenty-eight. Although there was once a feud between noble families during the _Groq'tor_ period about the interpretation of the nineteenth stage, which lasted until _Chruk'thol_ the Fearless decreed…"

"I'm sorry I asked." Jinx rolled her eyes.

"It is no trouble. I am grateful to share my culture with others."

"Yeah. About that, look, men aren't that complicated, Starfire. They're actually pretty stupid when you get right down to it. They'd be lost without us. But it's more than that." She hesitated, realizing she was about to talk about herself. She hated talking about herself. A lengthy childhood in the H.I.V.E. Academy had taught her that the more others knew about her, the easier it was to defeat her. And Jinx knew all too well that that wasn't something from the villain handbook—it was an undeniable fact of life. Still, she was among friends here. "You want to know what always keeps me coming back to Kid Flash?"

"It might indeed be helpful to better understand the romantic feelings of others."

"Alright then." Jinx sighed, feeling a little uncomfortable but knowing she was being foolish. "It's just…I'm used to getting my way, you know? I've always had to push other people to get results, been surrounded by people that really weren't at my level. But Kid Flash isn't like that. I can't control him. And it really irritates the hell out of me!" She snarled, running her hands through her hair in a flurry. "The thing of it is, I can't control him. And as frustrating as that is, there's this other part of me that finds it really _hot_." Her cheeks flushed at her words, the thought making some kind of damnable flame course through her. "And if you ever tell him I said that, I'll put a hex on you so fierce you'll have to break thirteen mirrors while walking beneath thirteen ladders while thirteen black cats cross your path, on Friday the thirteenth, just to make yourself _less_ unlucky!"

"I would never betray your feelings, Friend Jinx. This is like, the sisterly bonding, yes? Only perhaps better because my own sister has been known to be treacherous and deceitful."

"Yeah, unlike me." Jinx smirked. "You know, that can be one of the hardest things about being good. I was _so_ awesome at treachery and deceit."

"I prefer you the way you are now."

"Oddly enough, I think I do too."

Starfire's wastefully cheerful smile for her friend soon faded. "You are better experienced in Earth's courtship rites. Why would Robin not contact me for so long a time?"

"Oh come on, Princess, he'll call. He's probably locked up in a lab somewhere, analyzing evidence in some big case. I know it's annoying, but you can't expect men to be attentive to your needs all the time. Oh, they should be, don't get me wrong. But like I said, they're stupid." Jinx took the communicator from Starfire's hand, setting it aside. Come on, let's go get some chocolate. If we're going to be up this late, or early, it can't be for nothing."

"But what of Robin."

"If he doesn't call you by tomorrow, then you call him. Okay?"

The alien's green eyes seemed to shimmer brightly with tears, and Jinx offered a prayer to any god or devil that would stop Starfire from crying—she couldn't stand it when the girl cried, as she could be so emotional. "Starfire? Come on now, don't be like that. We—we can bring Silkie!" The pale girl ran to get the troublesome larvae, suppressing a shudder as she was forced to choose between picking it up, or dealing with a crying Tamaranian. Her need for sanity outweighed her intolerance for grossness, and she half carried, half cradled Silkie in her dress, proffering it to the orange-skinned beauty.

Starfire took her surrogate child happily in her arms, sniffling as she rocked it back and forth. "Yes, you are right. I will contact Robin tomorrow." The strength that the alien used to squeeze the larvae never seemed to amaze the witch, considering how Silkie never seemed to be harmed. In a way, it was as though the two of them were made for one another.

"Alright then. Now for some chocolate. My one true weakness." Jinx chuckled to herself. But it was hard to keep up with Starfire's pace, as she had already lifted herself a few inches from the ground, freeing herself from the confines of gravity, speeding ahead of her friend. "Someday she's going to have to teach me how to do that." Jinx shrugged, running after the redhead.

XoXo

"Hey, Flash, you awake?" Asked Cyborg, his cybernetic eye coming to life, as though struck by a sudden thought.

"I am now." The lightning fast hero responded groggily from his corner of the oversized living space. Sometimes, he wondered how he had allowed Jinx to talk him into living in such a tiny area. Not that his roommate was intentionally cruel, but Cyborg required a lot of noisy machinery to recharge, machinery that took up space and he was only just learning to allow its rhythmic humming to lull him to sleep at night.

"You ever wonder why we don't have any late night, heart-to-heart conversations?" Cyborg asked, turning his head to look in Kid Flash's direction.

Something like a groan escaped Flash's lips, longing for a return to the embrace of unconsciousness. "Because we're heterosexual men?"

"That's a big ten-four good buddy." The burly hero chuckled, feeling himself slipping into yet another recharge cycle.

"Glad we cleared that up." Kid Flash rolled over in his bunk, tucking the sheets over his head.

XoXo

"Sleep tight." Robin said, lingering on the face of the blonde girl he was forever bonded to for a moment before terminating the connection. "I love you too, Terra." He said to himself, putting the communicator away. "I just hope you find the happiness you deserve." He stood up, walking out an adjacent door that lead into the hallway, proceeding to the central Nurses' station. "Tell Doctor Jacoby no consultation. We'll risk the surgery. She wants the baby."

"You'll still need to speak with the surgeon and sign the paperwork." Lisa, the nurse on duty, responded automatically. "And, if you don't mind my saying so, you shouldn't waive the consultation. There will be risks to both that beautiful young woman and the baby."

"I know. But this is what she wants. I have to try. Trust me—Raven and I have been through death and life together. She won't give up."

"Stubborn patients seem to be drawn to my operating table." Dr. Jacoby sounded, appearing from the staff kitchen behind the Nurse's station. "I'll take it from here, Lisa."

Robin extended a hand, accepting a limp handshake from the surgeon assigned to their case—ordinarily he might consider it a sign of disrespect, but he knew from experience that a surgeon had to be extremely careful with their hands, or it might affect their ability to operate steadily. "She's a fighter. Before drifting back into unconsciousness, she threatened me. Apparently terminating the pregnancy isn't an option, or I terminate any chance of living happily ever after with her."

"As long as you understand the risks. The chances aren't altogether grim, however. Step into my office, I'll go over her chart and try to explain what we need to do."

Robin pressed his gloved hands together. "Knowledge is a powerful ally, let's go."

"This may seem like an intrusive question, but has this young woman had any prior pregnancies, failed or otherwise?"

"I don't think so. Definitely none carried to term, I've known her for years. I'm pretty certain that she's never had an abortion or a miscarriage. I'm not even certain she's been very sexually active. But, Raven is a private person. What she does on her own time is her business."

"But to your knowledge, this is her first pregnancy."

"I'd be pretty surprised to find out otherwise. You think it isn't?" Robin raised an eyebrow over his mask.

"It's possible, but I'd rather just show you the charts. Your girlfriend has quite the intimidating physiology. Fortunately, Gotham General has played host to more than one, shall we say, special case over the years. I'm sure we can help." Doctor Jacoby entered his office, lighting flickering on automatically. He pulled an oversized manila folder off of his desk. "These are the X-Rays we took of Raven a few hours ago. They're not as clear as I would like, but we were concerned that with the issues her body is dealing with, the position we would need for a proper MRI might only further increase the chances of a miscarriage. Still, the problem seems simple enough. I'm afraid it's the solution that will prove difficult."

The doctor placed the X-Rays on a large display, flipping the backlight on with a switch. "Her reproductive system doesn't seem to know what it's growing. If you look at this raised area here, compared with a similar one from below, that's where the trouble lies." He explained, using a small blackboard pointer to indicate the areas he was emphasizing.

"Okay, and what am I looking at?"

"From what I can tell, this developing fetus actually has two placentas."

"How?"

"As nearest as I can tell without doing invasive surgery, it's as though she actually has two reproductive systems fighting over the same uterus. One of them is supplying normal nutrients and blood to nurture a developing human baby. This other one, the wider one, presumably is trying to do something similar, only it's trying to develop a little baby demon. The two are competing with each other, and so Raven's immune system is treating the fetus less like a developing baby, and more like a foreign body to be expelled."

"So what do we do to fix this?" Robin felt his fist clenching. There was a battle going on inside the body of the woman he loved, and there was still nothing he could really do about it. It was infuriating.

"It may be possible to cut the extra placenta off. without damaging the fetus. The bigger problem is that the child would still be in danger. The mother is half-demon. With you the father, that means your child would still be a full one-quarter demon. Those aspects of her DNA will very likely require different nutrients, different building blocks. If we cut off the demonic umbilical cord, there is still a great risk that this child won't develop properly."

"Is there anything we can do about that? Some kind of supplement Raven can take?"

"Not that I'm aware of. I could fix that surgically, but it's much more invasive. It's like lifting the engine out of a car and reconfiguring it while the car is still running. I'm afraid in her condition, we could lose both the mother and the baby. We're talking about splicing the two sides to her reproductive system together so they function in unison to make a healthy baby. If you two were just trying to get pregnant, I could do it. I would say you'd need to wait eight to twelve months to be certain her womb had healed properly and could support a developing life, but overall I'd say it wouldn't be a terrible risk. But with this young lady already pregnant, there's a good chance this could still cause her body to terminate the pregnancy. Or that something might go wrong and slowly starve the fetus. I would rather not be responsible for either outcome."

"And if we do nothing?" Robin asked.

Doctor Jacoby shook his head. "I'm afraid you'll lose the child for certain. She cannot carry on as she is now for months. The stress will tear her apart, and with each passing day she struggles like this, the more duress her body is under, the more stress for that developing child. To put a point on it, doing nothing will only accomplish one thing. Changing the date on the termination of this pregnancy. I understand there are serious emotions here, but Raven is ultimately my patient. I have to do what's best for her."

"And I can't let you take this pregnancy away without trying, doctor. Raven is strong. We have to try. I know it may just sound like words to you, but that girl isn't leaving this world without one hell of a fight. She wants this baby so badly. And so do I."

"And nothing would make me happier, but the risk…what you're asking could be considered a violation of my Hippocratic Oath."

"No, it won't. She'll be okay. Because I'm going to lend her my strength. Just prep for surgery and give me a few minutes. I guarantee you she'll be strong enough."

"What do you intend to do?"

"Just trust me. That girl and I share a bond. I can help her. You'll see. Make your preparations, and I'll make sure she's stable and healthy enough to do this. You don't have to take my word for it—I guarantee her readings will be stable."

Robin turned and walked out of the office, almost dismissing the surgeon. He hoped he hadn't come across as arrogant—it was not his intention to alienate the good doctor. But if this was going to have any chance of working, he had to be there for Raven now more than ever.

The Boy Wonder tore into the ICU, mashing his hands against the release button for sanitizing agent as the doors parted. As quickly as he could, he navigated the small maze of gurneys and stations until locating the one that Raven was lying on, breathing fitfully, her eyes screwed shut in concentration. "Raven." He whispered, pulling a chair next to her bed, reaching for her hand. "Rae, I know you're fighting, but I need you for a minute. I think I've got a plan."

There seemed to be a bit of struggle in her visage, but her eyes opened, the amethyst irises looking faint from exertion. "I'm all ears, Boy Wonder."

"Good, because I'm about to earn that name."

"And to think, all I had to do was get knocked up and in danger or losing my life." She coughed, but the way her fingers laced through his betrayed her gratitude.

"You know us guys, we're so difficult to get through to." Robin smirked, brushing his free hand against her forehead, pushing stray violet locks of hair aside. "You and I, we have a bond, back to when you went inside my head all those years ago, when Slade was striking out at me from the grave. But we might have to go further."

"That's just an echo. If we had forged a deeper bond then, the darkness inside of me might have consumed you, Robin. I could not have risked that, not when I couldn't be certain I could protect you."

"Then I hope that's no longer an issue."

"With my father gone, and the prophecy finished, there's less danger. I am what I am, Robin. I can't change that."

"I wouldn't want you too. But can you bond with me differently?"

"Differently? How differently?"

"I'll give you my strength. I know you need all of yours and then some to protect the baby. If you take my strength, I think you can survive the surgery and keep our baby alive. Can it be done?"

"Yes." Raven said without hesitation. "But for too prolonged a time, it will put you at risk.

"Better me than you or the baby. Unless you know of a better way."

"Let's not kid ourselves. If we do nothing, I lose the baby. I can't keep this up forever."

"That's what Doctor Jacoby said." Robin added. "So let's do this. Take my strength. As much as you need. I can take it."

"You might regret saying that. You're going to feel my pain as well if you do this, Robin."

"You said something similar to me the first time we kissed."

"And the lights exploded one by one." She nodded, remembering. "You seemed to enjoy making that happen. But this is different. I link to you to draw on your strength, and you'll feel my body's distress. And I am in great distress, Robin."

"All the more reason to give you a break. Just promise me you'll come through this. You've been toughing this out for day, I can survive a few hours. Let's have a baby, Raven. Together."

"Sweet talker." The sorceress responded, squeezing her fingers within his. "Alright, Boy Wonder, you're on. Let's have a baby."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Cyborg stood up from the couch, unsatisfied. "Hold you. You can't just end that story like that!"

"Like what?" Raven asked.

"You have to tell us what happened!"

Raven exchanged a look with her mate, furrowing her brow. "Well, we're both here. And so is Rain. So I figured the rest is self-explanatory."

"So this thing worked?"

Raven massaged her temples. "Unfortunately, I'm wearing a leotard presently, so I'm afraid I can't offer proof. But trust me. I have the scars to prove it. One from the surgery, and an exceptionally lovely one from the C-section they gave me to get you out of there." Raven smirked, brushing a hand across her daughter's black locks.

"Unreal." Terra shook her head. "Do you hear that, Rain? Your mommy and daddy went through all that just to have you."

Seemingly cognizant of her name, Rain cocked her head, sticking out her tongue at Terra and making a noise that seemed to be quite hilarious to her. "Oh yeah." Raven murmured. "I just feel the love and appreciation."

"Give you any ideas, Terra?" Beast Boy asked, making eyes at her.

"Yes. To invest in a diaphragm." The blonde's eyes went wide, looking horrified at the thought of her stomach inflating like a balloon.

"That only works if you use it." Raven warned.

Starfire leaped up, expressing confusion. "Wait, I am not understanding. Is a diaphragm not part of the vocal system? How is one able to use it to prevent the onset of reproduction?"

"Say what?" Beast boy asked, scratching his head.

Terra looked as though she were about to turn as green as Beast Boy, and her hand desperately sought the Tamaranian's orange arm. "I-I'll tell you later, Starfire."

"Thank you, Friend Terra. I would not want to do anything unsafe." The comment caused ripples of giggling to take over the common room, and even Raven was forced to find her funny bone tickled, a smile creeping across her face. "Have I said something humorous?" Starfire blinked, confused.

Cyborg slapped the alien on the back with a boisterous guffaw. "Starfire, you're a real cut up."

"I am?" She asked, inspecting her outfit. "I am unable to find any tears or cuts in my uniform. My earth slang is still behind. _Krebble-nebbitz_!" She growled, pounding her right fist into the palm of her left hand.

"Hey, it's cool Starfire. We'll catch you up."

"But I wish to understand from the beginning." The red-haired woman lamented. "English does not seem to merge as well with Tamaranian as other earth languages."

Robin couldn't resist a chuckle. "Starfire, English doesn't get along well with other languages here on earth. The fact that you speak it as well as you do is rather impressive."

"You are impressed?" She asked, her green eyes blinking hopefully.

"Sure am. You should be proud of how well you speak it just from that one kiss when we first met." He blushed slightly.

"A shame I can't teach you ancient languages in a similar manner." Raven sighed in contentment, leaning herself slightly against her lover. It was rather unusual for Raven to stoop to even that level of public display, but there it was, likely due to the memories and emotions her story doubtlessly welled up within her, not to mention the earlier frightening situation with Rain in the mirror, and Robin wouldn't be surprised to know that his complimenting of Starfire likely evoked a jealous streak within the sorceress. And pushing Raven outside of her comfort zone was one of his favorite activities. It was a calculated risk, but he reached up to twirl several strands of her hair with his finger, an act that seemed to make her start for a second, but she chose to let it pass rather than make a scene.

"I am most grateful for your patience." Starfire half-bowed, then proceeded to grab the Tower's resident half-mechanical man in a hug. "You are most knowledgeable in these things, Cyborg. You will teach me?"

"Well, I don't know about that. I've got a lot of work to do in the garage, and-"

"But I will endeavor to learn very quickly!" Starfire pleaded, remembering a trick Jinx had once taught her involving using a certain movement of her hair to obtain favors from men. Recalling how it was performed, she whipped her head in a fast motion, flipping her fiery red mane to give it a bouncing motion, while adding the mandatory rapid blinking of her eyes in a widened state for the desired coquettish effect.

"Oh come on, this isn't fair!" Cyborg complained, wilting under the beauty's assault. Pressing her advantage, Starfire used her finishing move, a pout that had been known to break even Raven's resolve on occasion. "Oh, all right, fine, just stop making that face! Please?" Cyborg begged, and was rewarded by one of the alien's signature glomps, his circuits protesting the force exerted on them.

"Wondrous! When my training is complete, I shall prepare a feast to celebrate our success."

"I can't wait." Cyborg muttered under his breath, deciding that he was starting to miss the years when enduring Starfire's cultural foods and practices was Robin's problem. "How do I get dragged into these things?"

"Please! Let us begin! I am most eager to learn." The redhead begged, pulling on her friend.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming!" Cyborg relented, being half-dragged by Starfire's superior strength towards the staircase.

"Raven, what about you?" Robin asked, watching the other two go. "Do you still need to meditate?."

"We need to make sure Rain is safe before I can concentrate on that. For now, I'm just going to start covering up mirrors in our apartment."

"And BB and I will do our rooms so we can baby-sit." Terra volunteered.

The changeling sulked. "Yeah, as long as I don't have to clean."

"About that." Terra grinned. "I think it's time you did your laundry. I had to wade through an ocean of your clothes this morning, that's got to change if you want me to keep sleeping over." She chided.

"Can't I just sleep in your room instead?"

"Not until I can trust you to treat it like my room—neat." Terra stuck out her tongue.

"You're harshing me? So uncool—and I'm even picking up some hours at the salad bar next week so we can afford to go out!"

"If you wash your clothes, I'll fold them. But only when they're washed, dried, and have passed my inspection."

"Aww man…" Beast Boy whined. "This is such a waste of a perfectly good weekend."

"Hey, we're supposed to set a good example for Rain. Raven depends on us, right?" Terra asked, turning her head towards the goth.

"Yes." Raven responded. "However, training Beast Boy is a far more daunting task than raising a child."

Beast Boy morphed into a dog, whining as though he had just been kicked in an effort to gain mercy.

"Oh no!" Terra bristled, "Nothing doing BB! This is non-negotiable. I'd better find laundry in the washer in an hour, or I'm grounding you, get it?"

The green dog unleashed a pathetic bark, its ears drooping and its tail falling between its legs as it scampered up the stairs, leaving behind an earth-mover who looked quite pleased with herself. "See? Old dogs can be taught new tricks."

Raven blinked. "I'm just impressed you were actual able to make Beast Boy do something hygienic."

"I love that man." Terra sighed. "But he needs a lot of whipping into shape!"

"I'm all in favor of the whipping part." Raven added.

"I think I do a pretty good job, myself." Robin rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his free hand, the other one untangling the curl he had made in her soft velvet hair, making a combing motion to straighten it.

"You have your moments." Raven admitted, which Robin took as a rather considerable compliment.

"Like on Sunday mornings when you enjoy staying in bed and curling up into me until I finally get up and make breakfast or we hear Rain fussing?"

"Yes. Although I submit it is not my fault that you happen to be both warm and comfortable."

"And those sheets on your four-poster bed are surprisingly soft."

"Because I insisted on the four hundred thread count."

Terra clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a giggle and causing the goth to roll her eyes. "I'm sure that I'll regret asking, but what about us is so amusing?" Raven queried.

"Both of you!" Terra unleashed her laughing fit, finding herself doubling over. "You-you really are just like-" she snorted, falling back against the couch, her legs splaying. "It's like you're already married." She sniffed, gaining some control of herself. "I think it's sweet." Terra added, waving her hands in front of her at a glowering look from Raven. The blonde couldn't possibly be aware of the conversation she and Robin had had last night, could she?

Robin smirked, rather flattered by the comment, and he moved his hand out of Raven's hair only to reach down and grab her by the middle, sliding his mate and their child into him. "Hmm, I dunno Rae. I think she's got something there. Mr, and Mrs. Grayson, plus one. Or maybe you'd prefer just 'The Graysons?"

"I do not define my life by you or anyone else in it, Richard." Raven sighed when she tried unsuccessfully to squirm out of his grasp. She was quite aware that she could simply teleport or phase free, but that might disorient Rain. More importantly, it was hard to tell what played into Robin's desires more—that she stay put, or that she struggle. Resigning herself to the situation, she rested her head against his shoulder with a frown on her face.

"You could at least smile."

"I do not smile."

"Then look content."

"Contentment dulls your senses."

"This is her way of telling me she loves me." Robin explained for Terra's benefit.

"Or tolerates, anyway. Although in spite of my best intentions, I do find you…agreeable." Raven explained.

"Agreeable." Robin reiterated. "You hear that, Terra? For Raven, that's like a sweating palms high school crush confession."

"You two do more than argue, right?" Terra asked hopefully.

"It's not arguing. It's banter." Robin explained. "It's my way of trying to let Raven maintain some of her normalcy and independence. There are ways we share our affection, a bond the two of us have. Not the same as you and I, though."

Raven nodded. "You and Robin do not have a direct bond—rather, it's like you have afterimages of each other from sharing minds. It was strong to the point of telepathy at first, but that rapidly faded to what you now have, what will always be there. What we spoke of earlier."

Terra nodded her understanding. "And what you share?"

"It's a conduit that allows us to share emotions and complex ideas. So, in a sense, you could say that I am contented. This wasn't exactly the life I was planning on, but for now, it's working. More importantly, _Robin_ is working, and_ I _am not."

"You know, sometimes work can be fun." The blonde sighed "I wish I got to do something more. I'm lucky if I get called three or four times a year."

"You could do other things." Raven coached. "Your work doesn't need to include your powers."

"I guess not, but I have them for a reason, right? So many bad things have been done with them. I want to do something useful to them. Sometimes I still go out when there's trouble…" Terra sighed. "I'm building a better me, you know? I just haven't found my niche yet."

"You will in time." Robin encouraged her. "And you've made a great godmother so far." He indicated the squirming little girl in Raven's lap

"She's hard to keep up with." Terra smiled. "But that's not so bad. Most of us didn't get to have very long or happy childhoods. She deserves better."

The birds exchanged a look, something between surprise and pride. "And here I thought Starfire was the one with mother pangs. The way she looks after Silkie is very…maternal." Robin ventured.

Raven nodded. "Yes, but Terra seems to capture our daughter's attention easier. Still, Starfire is very good at stimulating her as well. I'd say they both have biological clocks ticking."

"You think I'm maternal?" Terra asked, taken aback. "That I want to be a mother?"

"You're maternal where your goddaughter is concerned. As for whether or not you desire to have a child, that's really up to you, isn't it?" Raven informed her. "Of course, you would presumably be having children with Garfield. That might explain certain hesitations."

"I don't know…" Terra turned her foot demurely, looking embarrassed. "I just got attached to Rain, that's all." The blonde leaned forward, bending down to Rain's height. "Hello there. All done scaring us for today?"

Rain wore an expression that looked slightly happy and mischievous, but it was punctuated more fully by the way she reached out with her arms to Terra. The two exchanged smiles, until something happened that made all of them start. "Up."

It took a few seconds of all three of the adults looking at each other until it sank in that it was, indeed, Rain who had uttered that simple preposition. Feeling as though she were being ignored, the toddler struggled further against Raven's hold, hitting her arms insistently against Terra. "Up up."

"Did she just?"

"Holy-"

Raven said it best. "She spoke, to you. Just like yesterday, you said she was babbling—she talks to you."

"Oh, Raven." Terra's smile fell away. "No, it's not like that. She'll talk to you too."

"She wants you." Raven responded, ignoring the comment. She extended her arms out, holding Rain to her.

"No, that's alright. You should have some family time." Terra tried to back away.

"Take her." Raven commanded, placing her child into Terra's reluctant arms.

It did not go unnoticed how Rain's small arms wrapped contently around Terra's frame, happy to be carried by her godmother. Terra lifted her awkwardly, for the first time feeling very inappropriate with the child. "Oh, Raven, she's just a child, hardly even that." Terra felt her eyes tearing up. "She doesn't understand yet."

"Thank you, that makes everything better." Raven replied sarcastically, phasing herself out of Robin's grip.

"Raven!" Robin shouted after her, causing the goth's head to turn as she floated near the ceiling.

"I am behind on my meditation. Please see to the mirrors in our apartment." The sorceress expressed herself, teleporting away, presumably to the roof.

"Go after her." Terra pleaded in the aftermath, readjusting her precious cargo as Rain began chewing errant strands of her long blonde hair.

"Terra…"

"Robin, it's so obvious, isn't it? Rain is attached to me because my emotions run free. I don't have to temper them like Raven does. So to Rain, I'm warmer—maybe even more motherly." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "It's not her fault, Robin. I know she thinks it is. Look at what I've done! I'm a terrible godmother! I knew it; I knew you shouldn't have trusted me. I ruin everything! It's the one thing I'm good at!" She cried, the tears finally falling down her face in little rivers. He saw it then, in her delicate features. The scars on her neck from when he had strangled her—when she had tried to kill herself through him. They were faint, but unmistakable to his trained detective eye, handprints that seemed to form a butterfly shape around her porcelain throat from when he had nearly squeezed the life out of her—he thought he could still feel her pulse in his hands as she begged him to extinguish it. No, he could never bear to see Terra in such a state again—he would damn himself first.

"Hey, now, that's enough of that." Robin admonished, motioning for her to sit down.

"But Robin, I'm stealing this beautiful girl from her own mother, I'm horrid…" 

"Stop it! This is not your fault, Terra. You can't control that, anymore than Raven can. I'll go after her, believe me. I've been chasing her for too long to ever really stop. But you didn't do anything wrong, Terra."

"Then why do I feel like such a homewrecker? Why is it that everyone I touch is ruined?" 

"Raven is not ruined, and neither is Rain. You're worried you did something intentional on some subconscious level, because of what we share. Stop thinking like that. Raven will be okay. But she needs time. Try to understand how she feels."

"I get how she feels—I feel sorry for her, Robin. The last thing I want is to come between you. Never that. God, there really will be nothing left in me but wretchedness if I go down that road."

"Rain is a beautiful little girl with normal emotions who is behaving exactly the way a child her age should. Don't deny my little girl that, okay?" He asked, unable to keep from smiling at the way Rain clung to this magnificent specimen, clutching at Terra's shoulders.

"O-okay." Terra sniffed, knowing she was going to cry. "I'm sorry! I'm so…"

"Shh, come on now, don't you cry anymore, alright? I've seen you have to cry too often." 

"Sometimes I still do." Terra whispered. "I'm real screwed up, Robin. Healing, yes. But I'm-"

"Among friends. And family." He added. "Are you okay? Can you look after Rain while I go and try to ease Raven?" 

"Just go." She whispered, clutching Rain tighter, burying her face in the little girl's dark black hair. "I'll take care of her. I promise. How can anyone stay sad looking into her eyes?"

"I know." His whisper echoed her own, and he still found himself hesitating for a moment, caught between his desperate need to reassure Terra that she wasn't some kind of home wrecking monster, and the knowledge that every moment he hesitated with Raven might push her further into hurt and resentment, further into that fear she always held that she would be punished for bringing another life into this world. As a mother, his mate had just been dealt a critical blow, and he had to go to her now. But still, something held him back. "Terra?"

"What?" She rubbed at her eyes with the arm that wasn't cradling her goddaughter, hating the fact that she was not recovering faster.

"Rain really does think the world of you. She just shared something with you she normally doesn't with either myself or Raven. You were right, she just doesn't understand her mother yet. What child in Rain's position could. You think you're some kind of monster, Terra, but look at how far you've come. Years ago, because of my failure and your fear, you tried to tear us apart. Now look at you. You're holding my daughter—and I know she's in very safe and capable hands."

"I…I don't deserve people like you."

"No, you deserved them years ago, long before we even met. Take care of our little girl, okay?"

"Okay." Terra breathed, finding a smile despite the tears still streaming down her face. But somehow, she didn't feels so sad anymore

The decision made, Robin departed the common room as though he were a younger man being called into action by the city, leaving the emotionally wounded earth-mover behind with his only daughter, little Rain releasing Terra's hair to look up into the eyes of her godmother with what seemed like great concern and puzzlement. Her small hands grasping Terra's cheeks, feeling the dampness there, and she clapped her hands against them, smiling as though to chase Terra's melancholy away.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Author's Notes

Wow, now this was a long chapter. So much went into writing this one, each idea seeming to lead to the next one, at times I wasn't even certain how long this was going to be, and more importantly, what note to really end on. Actually, the ending just kind of came to me as a spur of the moment thing, as it began to dawn on me that such a complex upbringing would have to provide friction sooner or later. This is how I've decided to go about it. Hopefully, it's worth the effort. Although I'm quite certain the handful of people that actually read this story with enthusiasm will be rather upset by how I ended this chapter, but it's always preferable to leave your audience wanting more.

I'm still in constant amazement over how much people seem to love Rain. I do enjoy doing cute things with her, but what I really love the most is making her touch the lives of these adults in different ways. A child changes everything—not just for those that bring it into the world, but the lives of those they touch as well. When I decided early on to make this a story about living, and specifically that it was going to deal with bringing up a baby (well, Rain's really a toddler), I knew that I wanted that to be a focus of the lives of these characters, and not just something to take in and out of the proverbial closet. If you've been reading the story from the beginning, you'll note that with the exception of when I told Terra's backstory, Rain is a rather central figure throughout it—the lives of everyone in the tower being impacted by her in one way or another, even when she isn't "on-screen." Having a child is work, it's a whole new facet of life, and I wanted to ensure that if I was going to have Robin and Raven have a child, it needed to have real impact to the story, and not just something that happens. If she were just a plot device, I think I would have completely failed with this story. Considering that I seem to frequently come up with new ideas and angles.

As I believe someone remarked, I tend to just update when I feel like it. I tend to always be noodling around with things, but some times are just easier to write than others. I have a lot of hobbies that demand the attention of my free time, especially gaming, and with the PS4 so close to launch not to mention a flurry of excellent end-of-generation titles coming out, I've got plenty to keep me busy. Anyone else excited at the chance to play as Deathstroke (Slade) in Arkham Origins? If only Ron Perlman had been cast in the role again, the circle would be complete. I wonder if there will be a downloadable "Slade Skin" to give him his animated TT appearance?

Sorry, I think I went totally fanboy for a moment there. Fortunately, all this stuff doesn't mean you'll have to wait another year for the next update. I tend to do almost all of my writing during my downtime at work, and the more of that there is, the more I'm likely to work on this sort of thing. It comes and goes, based on my stress level, but I'm relatively committed to the threads here, and don't feel like I'm becoming bored with the story at all. Maybe because I'm kind of fascinated by the weirdness of it myself. As I always say, I'm trying to tell a story that hasn't been told ten thousand times before—it may not make me the winner of a popularity contest, but what pleases me the most about anyone who finds this story is that they come away from it feeling it offered them something unique, even if it wasn't their cup of tea. I never really know what's going to happen whenever I post a new chapter of this thing, but the event is in the hands of the fanfiction gods at that point, I suppose. My job is to hold the proverbial pen, or mouse and keyboard as the case may be, and allow the story to tell itself.

One thing I have found is the lengthy commute to and from work each day lets my mind wander to the story and the plights of the different characters. I tend to let the radio dial meander until something good manages to come on, or I delve into a classic collection of older music because I'm now in my mid-thirties and I guess I like the reminder that the stuff I grew up listening to in the 80's is now old as dirt. But still, a good song is a good song, be it recent or back in the catalog, and some of them just begging to strike a chord with me, especially pertaining to character arcs. I don't think I have a complete soundtrack yet, but I'll share the ones I do have for your approval.

Zedd—_Clarity _ (Terra)

Ivy—_Edge Of The Ocean_ (Beast Boy & Terra)

Genesis—_Invisible Touch_ (Robin & Raven)

Gloria Estefan—_Anything For You_ (Starfire)

Miley Cyrus—_Wrecking Ball_ (Raven & Terra)

U2—_Beautiful Day_ (Robin & Terra)

Ivy—_Blame It On Yourself_ (Starfire)

Coldplay—_Shiver_ (Beast Boy)

Coldplay—_Paradise_ (Terra)

Colton Avery—_Bella Luna_ (Beast Boy & Terra)

I'm sure that there will be many more, but these are just a few that have inspired different portions of the story (including those that haven't seen publication yet). Musical tastes tend to vary wildly, so please feel free to insert your own songs (or complete silence) as preferred. _Clarity_ just feels like it was written for the version of Terra that I put into this story, but I've probably made her a lot more dramatic than she ever was in the series. There, she was a troubled call who was used and manipulated. Here, I've tried to give her a lot of different complexes. Hers is a life filled with tragedy—but in the past few years, there have been good things as well, a reason to keep living. But her heart is split in two, and she's a very confused young woman trying to live day-to-day. My heart rather goes out to her as she's rather fragile, and yet, Rain is very special to her because in looking after Rain, Terra can help give her the childhood she never had. But, I do find myself a bit protective of Terra, despite all the terrible things I do to her, it's because I feel I can wring worthwhile emotional responses out of her, and that has made her a very powerful and special character to me. I hope I've done something with her that everyone else hasn't—admittedly, it would just be too difficult to try and read every story with her. So I just do my own thing and hope someone out there will tell me if I'm rehashing. Or not. Some people apparently enjoy this story, that's enough for me.

Speaking of Terra, I strongly recommend looking up _ Bella Luna _by Colton Avery on You Tube if you happen to be a fan of Beast Boy & Terra. While _Clarity_ best describes Terra's relationship to Robin, I'm planning for _Bella Luna_ to highlight a special moment between Beast Boy & Terra in the coming chapters—and it's another song that really does a fantastic job of telling her personal journey, IMO. It's also one you very likely haven't heard unless you went to the Man In The Moon event in Salt Lake City this past summer, so I'd urge you to give it a try. Please and thank you!

What comes next? Trying to find a way to get Robin to cope with the two women in his life will be the primary thrust, not to mention little Rain. To have so many different caretakers, she must get confused! And I plan to let that little drama play out. As for how, well, that would be telling. Meanwhile, I'll try my hand at comedy with our other characters, and I'm quite certain that they still have their own roles to play in the drama as well.

Or not. I start writing and the characters will hijack the story on me and take it wherever they feel. Trust me, they've done it with almost every chapter so far—especially back when I did the Terra backstory. I don't know if I ever lost that much sleep over writing before, but perhaps it was my own fault. I had been arrogant enough to think I could write out her story, only to find that she was telling her story to me, constantly, and I couldn't stop writing it down. She may look cute and vulnerable, but that's how she lures you in until you're caught in her spell and a slave to her tragedy. Yes, that's exactly what it was like. And I'm quite certain I made several mistakes at work during the week or two I was doing that—one of the only times in my life I can say I was outright ignoring my responsibilities because I had to get this thing out of my head and down on the metaphorical paper.

Anyhow, I've rambled enough, so I now return you to your regularly scheduled fandom until the next update. Please take the time to tell me how I'm doing—I'd rather get ten reviews saying it's the worst thing people have ever read than silence, largely because I can improve as a writer with constructive criticism. And that's something I hope to never stop doing, up until I retire from this fanfiction business. And if you thought this chapter was great, my ego can use the stroking too. That makes it worth having Tragic Terra in my head!

Until the next time; read, review, or reach out to me directly. I'm not too hard to find. You may send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

10/3/13

5:09AM, EST

E-mail: ranger(underscore)writer

AIM: Asukaphile26

Twitter: lordmalachite


	11. Closer To You

Chapter Eleven: _Closer To You_

Though Robin was keenly aware of his mate's disturbing emotional state, he found himself walking up the many stairs quite normally. This wasn't going to be a pleasant confrontation he was certain, and he felt a weight on his shoulders as he reached the floor that housed the living accommodations for his teammates, walking with trepidation towards the quarters he and his family shared, a modified apartment that Jinx had dubbed the Nest some years ago when he and Raven had returned home—her very pregnant and him with a lot of awkward explaining to do.

Robin stopped in front of the door to their apartment, taking a deep breath. He didn't need his bond with Raven to feel the maelstrom coming from the other side of the door—but having it only made things that much clearer. Knowing that delaying the moment would not make it pass; he finally thumbed the passcode on the door panel and watched it swing open. Instantly, he regretted taking his time, things were worse than he had suspected.

Raven was not, as he had assumed, brooding. Quit the contrary, his brief search led him to the darkest part of their apartment, a part originally made from her room that housed her various books and scrolls and artifacts, windowless and with a touch of foreboding. But the carnage was actually far greater. Countless books were floating, their pages lolling out like tongues, pulsing with the black matter signature of Raven's soul self. There were also angry dark marks on walls of the kitchen, and Robin was unsurprised to find that the toaster, electric can opener, and microwave had all met with sudden and traumatic endings.

But the wounded mother herself was suspended over their four poster bed, looking altogether distraught ant massaging her temples—the proverbial toothpaste having been squeezed out of the tube while she struggled valiantly to put it back. Robin sighed upon seeing her in this state. Truthfully, he did like it when she expressed her emotions clearly, even if it could be a bit hazardous. But this seemed a little childish to him. Then again, it was clear from the emotions she was projecting at him, consciously or not, that Raven was indeed a wounded bird; one who loved her daughter very much and was feeling decidedly unloved by her child.

Being careful not to approach her too quickly, he instead entered the war-torn kitchen and opened the refrigerator, withdrawing a bottle of cranberry juice and finding two suitable plastic cups to pour some into—glass wasn't a good idea to put in Raven's vicinity at the moment. Projecting an aura of calm, Robin replaced the bottle in the fridge and returned to the bedroom holding both cups, a kind of peace offering. "Raven, you need to settle down." He stated calmly, not wanting it to sound like an order.

"You shouldn't pour that juice out onto the carpet; it will leave a nasty stain." Raven replied blandly, keeping her focus on her emotions and the need to rein them back in.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm sorry; I thought we were doing a thing where we exchange patently obvious advice." The sorceress deadpanned.

"I'm trying to be supportive."

"And I'm not in the mood for platitudes."

"Alright then. So when do you intend to apologize to Terra?"

"Ah, yes. I see your support of me only goes so far when your girlfriend is involved."

Robin felt his body stiffen. "That's a low blow, Raven."

"Or does it just hit too close to home?" She asked, opening her eyes, deciding that perhaps letting a few of her emotions run free was for the best, despite the risks. She couldn't force them back inside so easily.

"There is nothing going on between the two of us."

"Not physically, no. But the way she looks at you is obvious to everyone. Even Beast Boy. She'd throw herself into your arms if you would take her."

"Don't you dare blame her for that. It's all my fault. _My_ arrogance forged that bond between Terra and I, _my_ refusal to let her go a second time brought her memories back. She was just along for the ride, frightened of living out the rest of her life as a lie. I did it. And that made her fall in love with me. So if you want to be angry at someone, you be angry with me and leave her out of it."

"Protective too, I see. Afraid to let her fight her own battles?"

"She's suffered enough, Raven." 

"And yet she has the love of our only child."

"We chose her as Rain's godmother. She's spending a lot of time raising our little girl. That's only natural."

"I don't object to Rain being affectionate towards Terra." Raven bristled. "I object to being replaced."

"Terra is not replacing you. Raven, this is ridiculous. I understand how you would feel-"

"No, Richard. You do not understand."

"I'm trying to support you here!" Robin threw up his arms, exasperated. "Terra is not Rain's mother. She's not trying to be!"

"That only makes it worse. If she were trying, I could focus all my rage on her."

"But she isn't. Look, you know what there is between her and I. But we've set rules. You know, Raven. You know what would happen if Terra and I were together. It would hurt too many others—and perhaps worst of all, it might destroy us both in the end. Don't think it was so easy to just set her to the side. But I knew it was for her own good, for mine. Terra and I are too much…alike."

"There are those that would argue you and I are too alike." Raven allowed her cloak to billow behind her as she turned sharply, not as eased by his words as Robin had intended.

"Sometimes. Stubbornness certainly runs through our veins. Along with a consistent belief that we're always right, the tendency to obsess on the things that upset us."

"I'm not in the mood to banter with you right now, Richard. Poke me and the living room is going to meet its end."

"It wasn't a taunt, Raven, it's a fact. You're stubborn. Obstinately so. I'd find it annoying if I wasn't the same. As it is, I find it rather endearing, if a terrible fault in both of us. We don't back down when we feel we're right."

"I'm always right."

"Raven, just…see reason." He asked her bluntly, feeling a headache coming on.

"I liked her better when she was treacherous." Raven maneuvered to the ceiling, focusing a great deal of her soul self, which spread among the surface like veins, then slowly began to retract, pulling in floating lamps and books towards their master. Robin watched quietly, knowing she was trying to reassert her carefully measured control of her emotions, but looking for a reason to lash out. "I knew where I stood. Where she stood."

"Life has a way of changing all of us, Rae. Go back three or four years, did you ever picture yourself being a mother?"

"Not especially. And with you? What was I thinking there?"

"You don't really want me to tell you everything you say in the throes of passion, do you?"

"The other side of me is primal. I take no responsibility for its mutterings."

"I'm going to remind you of that the next time you wake me up in the middle of the night with that 'now or never' look."

"Richard, I'm working here." Raven grunted in frustration, feeling her soul self begin to move outward again, and a cacophony of emotions vying for control over her.

"That's exactly what you said" He arched an eyebrow, noticing that Raven was unwilling to take the bait. "On second thought, I think I'd miss that TV. Rain will cry if I don't watch cartoons with her." As though punctuating his statement, a book fell open in front of him, no longer a victim of Raven's emotional spell. He watched in fascination as she slowly pulled tiny pieces of herself out of the storm of objects surrounding her, one by one watching them fall to the ground, his lightning reflexes moving to catch any objects that seemed fragile or breakable. "That's my girl." He whispered to himself, glad to see her coming back from the abyss, glad to know she was still reachable. But words, he knew, wouldn't be enough.

Robin allowed the silence in the room to grow until the objects stopped dropping, and Raven herself had assumed a meditative state, her breathing notably increased. Waiting a few minutes longer, eyes darting around the room at the carnage, before settling once more upon the sorceress who held the largest portion of his heart, her eyes looking down at him pensively. Silently, Robin gestured to her with the cup of cranberry juice, and Raven gave an imperceptible nod, floating back down to the floor level and taking the proffered drink. Robin watched as she drank from it in a greedy yet somehow dainty matter, no doubt eager to replenish herself after her exertion. He had no sooner taken the cup out of her hand and set it aside with his own, then embraced her strongly, catching her off-guard and nearly setting off a new wave of emotional side effects. She struggled against him for several moments before finally relenting, allowing herself to be held in the sanctity of their own space. She braced her middle finger against her thumb, flicking the longer digit at his forehead in annoyance.

"What was that for?" Robin asked, touching his forehead to hers.

"That little comment back there. 'That's my girl.' I am no one's possession, Robin. You of all people should know that."

"You honestly took that literally?"

"Do I seem in the mood to spar with you right now?"

"No, but that would prevent us from talking. Our conversations are like minefields."

"No one's found a safe way through one yet." Raven deadpanned, finding herself settling into his arms a bit more than she had intended. Something about that admission between the two of them made her feel more at ease.

"You're the woman I love." Robin whispered into her ear. "Nothing past with Starfire, nothing present with Terra, nothing in the future with anyone you can imagine, will ever change that. No one can take from you what I've already given you, Raven. You're the one person I've trusted with my pain. You've got to stop running yourself down so much. Where did this inferiority complex come from?" 

"I wasn't made for this world." The words spilled from her lips so easily, betraying her. "For any world. I wasn't born to create, I was born to destroy."

"Only if you choose to." Robin returned. "You are this beautiful contradiction. I've always admired you for choosing to be who you are every day. Don't stop now."

"It can be so hard sometimes…and the darker path is so much easier. Every day I choose not to take it, but sometimes, the path through the forest of my subconscious becomes unclear and I wander from the trail." 

"Then we'll make it easier." Robin whispered, holding her tightly, tilting her chin up to kiss her properly, a maneuver she only briefly resisted, admitting to herself how good it felt in the moment to have the physical reassurance, the manner in which his lips probed her own so gentle and agreeable, a rhythm she had learned years ago, each wave of emotional empathy dissipating into the ether harmlessly as she redirected it with little effort, allowing herself to be opened up by the only man who had ever truly glimpsed the well of darkness and pain she hid away.

Gently he guided her to the bed, toppling them both, and her eyes gave a start. "Not now." She whispered, freeing her lips. "I don't have full control…"

"We don't have to make love." He massaged her neck gently. "We can cuddle."

Gently, Raven raised a palm to his forehead. "You're feeling alright?"

"I want to cuddle with my beautiful fiancé who has just been through an emotionally turbulent experience with our only child. We can copulate another time."

"Done." Raven nodded with only a moment's hesitation, pulling at the top of his uniform. "But I want to feel you, not the hero or the businessman."

Robin smiled, letting her peel back his brightly colored duty uniform. "Done."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

Terra sat patiently as Rain climbed over her body, never seeming to be quite content, as though she could pickup on the earth mover's emotional distress. The small child's arms wandered Terra's lean frame, more than once the tiny girl's hands had clinched her chest in uncomfortable places, but the blonde's attempts to make her charge settle were met with resistance—Rain would not settle down, how could she, when her favorite caretaker was so uneasy?

"Rain, please." Terra picked the small girl up from under her arms, standing up to hoist her over her shoulder in a classic burping position, shifting her arms to Rain's middle to hold her steady. "Terra needs a little break now." The action made Rain squirm against the attempt to hold her in one place, and Terra sighed longingly, taking a deep breath to find patience. "Rain, I know you don't want to, but please, do Aunt Terra a favor and settle down? Please?!" Terra begged, lifting the girl forward again to stare directly into her eyes. "Quiet?"

A silent staring contest, followed by some strange blinking of the child's eyes, seemed to indicate that an agreement of sorts had been reached. Sighing with relief, Terra moved back to the couch and sat down again, setting Rain next to her. "Thank you." Terra spoke, one that nearly formed into a groan as Rain moved again, this time climbing into Terra's lap. However, the little girl leaned backwards against her babysitter this time, finding a relatively comfortable position and stopping her writhing. Something that sounded like "pulk" came out of the little girl's mouth, and Terra decided not to question it, petting Rain's black hair gently. "Thank you." She whispered again, leaning her head back. "Mommy is really upset with your Aunt Terra." She sighed.

"Zilthus." Rain said to her, as though it were the answer to all of her problems, pushing the back of her head into Terra's abdomen affectionately.

"I'm not your mommy, sweetie." Terra whispered, passing her fingers through Rain's dark hair gently. "I know why it must be confusing…"

Rain did not respond, other than a tiny yawn, and the blonde girl realized after all the excitement, it must be time for a nap. "I think you're the first kid I've ever seen go to bed willingly." Terra smiled, moving her hand in a soft, slow rhythm to stroke the little tresses that framed the tiny girl's face. "Sleep tight."

The sensation of feeling Titan's Towers greatest joy slowly settle her breathing into a gentle rhythm, all within the confines of her lap, made Terra feel very fortunate. And also guilty. Since Rain had come into her life, the precious little girl had awakened a desire for children that was absent previously. Still, she didn't entertain the notion much. Terra remained unconvinced that she would make a good mother. Rain seemed to adore her, yes, but the child was not hers. And as much as Terra loved Rain, she did not want to be her mother. It was logical, yes, but also cruel and unfair, that Raven had been unable to bond with her own flesh and blood in the same manner. And now Raven hated her for it. Who wouldn't? "Driving people apart is my one true talent." Terra sniffed, whispering to herself. "I can't even be true to him, what kind of monster am I?"

The answer to that question came in the form of a pounce—a distinctively green kitten landing on her shoulder, claws digging in only very slightly for balance. A purr emanated from the tiny cat's throat as he nuzzled her neck. "Beast Boy." She whispered, exposing more of the nape of her neck to his gentle fur, large eyes widening at his ability to comfort the girl he loved so intently. He jumped from his shoulder to the cushion beside her, morphing into his human form. "Hey." he said quietly, not wanting to disturb Rain's rest.

"Hey." She responded simply, wishing all of her complex feelings could be explained in a word so simple.

"I know I'm supposed to be doing laundry, but I heard this commotion, and I thought I should check up on you. You okay?"

"No." She whispered, petting Rain's resting head to give her hands something to do. "No I'm not BB."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Am I in the way?"

"No." She freed her right hand and reached out to seize his. "No. Just, stay. Okay?"

"Yeah." The changeling swallowed, sensing something serious was happening. "I'll always be here for you Terra." His words were like a knife in her heart, knowing that when she was honest with herself, she wasn't being truly faithful to him. In action, yes. But not in thought, not in desire.

"Beast Boy?"

"Yes?" He asked with trepidation, the hesitation in her voice betraying an unpleasant conversation.

"You'll always be my friend, right? No matter what?"

"Terra, what's wrong?"

"Say it! Say you will…even if you knew something really, really bad about me."

The words hung in the air between them like a wraith, echoing off their hearts like a long remembered and best forgotten conversation from years earlier when circumstances of their own choosing drove them apart. That horrible night she had first broken his heart by revealing her relationship with Slade and her ruse as a Titan.

"Terra?" He whispered, feeling his heart rate increase.

"I'm sorry." The blonde screwed her eyes shut, scooping Rain up in her arms and placing her awkwardly into Beast Boy's lap, the girl stirring fitfully at the noticeable change. Terra stood and ran out of the room opening a window and jumping out.

"Terra!" Beast Boy called after her, awkwardly trying to follow with his precious cargo, reaching the window and seeing Terra land on a sizeable rock she had summoned, her lithe legs bending at the knees to soften the impact, the trajectory of the stone carrying her further away from the tower, away from him. "Terra…"

Beast Boy longed to take the form of a bird and give chase, but he couldn't while he had Rain to think about. Paralyzed, he simply watched her form grow smaller as she headed out to the city. He couldn't lose her again.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"I see." Starfire's emerald green eyes darted back and forth over an elementary school worksheet. "The rules of English grammar are most complicated compared to other Earth languages I have encountered/"

Yeah, and we keep coming up with new words and Slang." Cyborg grinned. "English evolves faster than we can learn it."

"But you will be able to help me improve?" The redhead asked hesitantly. "I do not wish to feel so left out."

"Star, we like you as you are. The way you talk is just part of your charm. We wouldn't make fun of you for talking differently. That would be like making fun of any of us for how we look. Accept Robin." Cyborg amended. "The rest of us were born this way, or in my case, my accident made me this way. Robin chooses to dress like a goober."

The remark sent the two of them into a giggling fit. "You are most kind, Friend Cyborg."

"You miss him?" He asked, aware of the touchy subject.

"It is complicated. I simply wish for my friends to be happy. But sometimes I cannot understand why I was not the one he wished to engage in procreation with. Perhaps I did not interpret correctly. My knowledge of human courtship rites is limited."

"I don't think you misunderstood, Star. I think he just…changed."

"I should have gone with him to the city of Gotham."

"Maybe." Cyborg shrugged. "But I always believe that things happen for a reason. I mean, think of how many times we should've been toast, and we're still here. The right thing always seems to happen when it needs to. What if there's someone out there you haven't even met yet that makes Robin look like a total loser."

"I used to console myself by saying he was the loser for losing out on me." Starfire smirked.

"You did let him off kinda easy."

"In words, yes. Not so in my heart. There is still…emptiness. Friend Jinx offered many distractions, but they were unable to compete with the hole left within my heart. Yelling at my friends for hurting me would have made me feel…righteously angry. But it would not have returned things to the way they once were. I was left to find my own path. I have cried for what I have lost enough. I have chosen…not to feel bitterness. I love my friends in spite of what they did. With the years that have passed, I have accepted that they did not do what they did to hurt me. Do you think it is wrong for me to behave this way?"

"No." Cyborg said gently, finding himself swelling up with a new respect for the Tower's resident alien. "I think that makes you very mature, Starfire."

"You would not have said that long ago when I was using his picture as a _krolpraw." _Starfire explained with a casual smile.

"I'm gonna assume that's a bad thing."

"Indeed. Still, I have other means of fulfillment. The Silkie is wondrous company; he always seems to understand my feelings. Having Rain around, I sometimes consider if I will ever have children."

Cyborg's face began to pale. "Um…yeah, y'know Star, maybe that's not one of my areas of expertise…"

"You do not wish to engage in procreation with an appropriate mate?" The alien asked, curious.

"I…ah…never really gave it a lot of thought."

"I understand." Starfire nodded. "In the magazines for earth women I have endeavored to study, male commitment is often a problem that is written about."

"Um…could we talk about something else Starfire?"

"You are uncomfortable." Her words were more of a statement than a question.

"Look, I just…have my own things I haven't completely worked through, you know. I try not to tune myself out to the possibility of a significant other, at least not entirely, but-"

Starfire raised a hand. "You need not say anymore. I remember your…reservations about your appearance when we all first met. I would not wish to push you into something you are not ready for, but you must believe that you are worthy. I have found through a friendship that you have much to offer."

Cyborg felt his organic eye begin to twitch; beginning to worry the alien was referring to herself.

"Starfire? Did you mean..?"

"Think nothing of it. On my world, matchmaking is sometimes a royal duty." She blinked, not realizing her hand had fallen over his in what many on Earth considered a form of intimacy. Cautiously, Starfire seized his beefy hand in her slender one, pumping her arm in one of the first Earth gestures Robin had taught her—the handshake. "My apologies if I upset you. I wish for you to remain a boy who is my friend but is not my special boy who is also a friend. Did I say it correctly?" Starfire asked, her brow furrowing slightly in trepidation.

"I think you said it perfectly. I know this may seem kind of weird, but you've always felt like a sister to me."

"I have not had good relations with my sibling. I would enjoy being a sister to one I could trust."

"Hey. Starfire. Stop me if I'm being nosy, but…have you ever thought about…dating someone else again? As your honorary brother, it kind of worries me if you're not happy."

"I suppose I have not made a satisfactory effort." The redhead frowned. "I do not believe that I know what I am looking for in a special boy who is a friend."

"Maybe you don't have to know, Starfire. Maybe you should just…make more friends. Who are boys, I mean. And see if one of those friends might be on you find, y'know, special."

"It feels like a more difficult concept than it is. I fear that I will leave something behind."

"Closure." Cyborg nodded. "That's it. You've always cared deeply for Robin. And while you've acknowledged the fact that you two are no longer an item, you never did that last step. You never let go of that feeling in your heart. You know, it's okay that you still care for him Starfire. Just…learn to let go and feel something else, though. Just because you decide to be with someone else doesn't mean you have to stop being a friend or a teammate to Robin. He cares about you too. He wants you to be happy…he just doesn't really say anything on it because he's the one who hurt you. He doesn't have the right to tell you how to feel."

"Perhaps not. Still, I believe I would welcome his input. I prefer to offer forgiveness for transgressions, even to those who often prove themselves unworthy, like Blackfire. It is just my way."

"It's a good way, Star. A real good way."

She offered her friend a small smile. "Rain. She looks much like her mother, and yet, I sense there is something very different about her."

"Probably got it from her father." Cyborg chided.

"No, I mean…she is…Rain…there is something about her that I am not certain Raven fully realizes. Something I cannot put into words. She will do great things."

"With you as one of her role models, Star? She can't be anything but great."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Have you always had these scars on your back?" Raven inquired as she absently felt at the bare skin beneath her hands. This doesn't feel like a bruise or a cut."

"That's because it isn't. A bit of frostbite. I ended up on the wrong side of Mr. Freeze's gun once. I tried to dodge out of the way, but he still managed to tag me. I thawed out in a tank in the Batcave. No real permanent damage, except for some numbness."

"It feels smoother than it should." Raven frowned, deciding not to press the issue. The two of them lay together in the bed, Robin devoid of his top, Raven without her cloak, but the rest of their clothing was still on. Raven hadn't wanted to get carried away in her emotional state, and Robin was careful to respect her wishes. Still, the "cuddle" had done her some good. Her breathing had slowly synced into a proper rhythm, and their close proximity brought their emotional bond to a full effect, Robin being able to give her reassurances about their daughter, and Raven's own place in their family. Not that she was overreacting. Raven did not overreact; it was one of the things she was insistent on. She merely had certain subjects that she felt extraordinarily passionate about. Robin always chose not to question her on this; it wouldn't prove to be of any use. Besides, there was something about her stubbornness that he found incredibly endearing—perhaps it was because he could see so much of himself in his mate.

"So do you." Robin smirked, running one hand through her shoulder length lavender hair and while the other maneuvered down her left arm, the sleek material of her leotard giving a supple finish to the feel of her skin.

"I'm not really the cuddly type." Raven rolled her eyes.

"I don't see you objecting."

"I am allowed to draw on you for emotional support as a basis of our upgraded relationship."

"I love you too, Rae."

"That's my misfortune." She said quietly, slipping her hand into his. "Still, I guess I'll make the most of it."

"The last time you said that we ended up with Rain."

"I'll bet you thought that was an accident." She chided.

"I adore our little girl. And her mother. Her _biological_ mother." Robin emphasized.

"Nice save, Boy Wonder. Maybe you'd like to show me how much?"

"Was that an invitation?" He arched an eyebrow, daring to hope.

"I am sometimes prone to lapses in judgment." A smile flickered on her face, and she leaned in to stroke some of the wilder hairs sticking outward from his scalp, her face close enough to his to inhale his scent, her breath tickling his nose slightly.

"Maybe you'll make one now…"

"I think I'm about to…" She admitted before a door chime interrupted the moment.

"You've got to be kidding me." Robin growled, drawing back.

"Apparently, Fate looks out for my lapses." Raven reminded him, brushing a hand against his cheek.

"Oh no, this isn't over."

"You like me more at night anyway." Raven stated, sliding out of his grip and towards the door as it chirped a second time. Her lavender hair bouncing slightly as her slender legs hit the floor, bouncing on the pads of her feet. Raven thumbed the pad to open the door, blinking twice in confusion at the sight of a distraught Beast Boy, who seemed only barely capable of holding onto Rain's right hand, the little girl trying to get away.

"Yes?" The word was drawn out, as though she was already regretting the visit. Before getting a response, she reached out and took hold of Rain's left hand before her daughter could tear away, gently pulling her into the room. The little girl struggled somewhat, but capitulated quickly, realizing she wasn't going to escape. Like most developing children, she adored exploring her environment and hated being kept in one place for more than minutes at a time.

"Raven. Terra bolted!" Beast Boy looked distraught, and began tugging at the hair on his head now that he had both hands free.

"She's gone?" Raven asked.

"Yeah. She just…left. She was pretty upset with the whole…you and her and the mommy thing."

"I suppose I didn't behave any better." Raven sighed.

"You didn't have to be so hard on her. She doesn't try to be you, y'know. All she ever does is help and you give her a hard time. I never knew you were so selfish!"

Raven blanched. "That was not my intention. I admit that I was wrong to leave things as I did, but try to see it from my side. My child is treating someone other than me as her mother. How would you feel if you and Terra had a child and it called Robin 'daddy' instead of you?"

"Um…maybe not so good."

"Then I'm glad we had this talk"

Robin sauntered to the door, scooping up his daughter and hoisting her upwards. She did not seem to protest, keen on the idea of being lifted into the air, the pleasant sound of laughter emanating from her as Robin made swooping motions with his arms, giving her more of an airborne effect. "Where is she?" Robin asked, never taking his eyes off of his little girl.

"I dunno." Beast Boy sighed. "I thought you might."

"Sorry. I did talk with her briefly, but Terra never indicated she was going anywhere. Try calling her on the communicator."

"I did. She's not answering. She…she might if you call." The changeling looked up at him hopefully. This communication was not lost on Raven, who looked between both men.

Robin sighed, carrying Rain to the bed. He flopped backwards onto the mattress and proceeded to 'bench press' Rain over his head, much to her own delight, giggles flowing out of her happily. "She might." Robin acknowledged, letting the adults know he wasn't ignoring the situation. "But I can't keep being that for her, I have a family. And as much as I love Terra…I can't love her the way she wants, and she knows that. She cares about you, you know. A lot more than you think." Robin added, sitting up to look directly at Beast Boy, pulling Rain down into his lap. "Go after her."

"But what if I can't-"

"Trust your instincts. Go to her. You'll find her. If you really need me, if you really have trouble, you know who to call." He grinned.

"Thanks dude. You're right. No one knows Terra better than me! I'll find her." He beamed proudly, his chest puffing out a bit before he took off down the hallway, morphing into a cheetah en route.

Raven stood, a feeling overcoming her that she was unaccustomed to. Raven was stunned. "Richard…"

"What?"

"You just put me before Terra."

"I love you, Raven. While I do love Terra…it's not the same thing. You always see her as a rival. That's why you were so upset when Rain was treating her like a mother. You honestly think she'll replace you."

"I am not that insecure."

"Yes, you are. That's all right. It means you're scared of losing us. It makes you human." He smiled, standing up and walking towards her, Rain happily going in tow.

"But Rain doesn't…like me." Raven sighed.

"I'll bet we can fix that easy."

"How?" 

Robin smiled warmly, taking Rain's hands and placing them into the much larger ones of her mother. The girl seemed to accept this, but soon began struggling. She did not seem uncomfortable or scared so much as she did bored. "She loves to be in the air, Raven. Indulge her. Float."

"She could get hurt." Raven sighed.

"Would you ever hurt your own daughter?"

"No…"

"Then there's nothing to be afraid of. Hold her hands and just float. Lift her up off the ground; fly around just a little bit. She'll love it."

"And if we find out she develops the ability to fly?"

"Not likely." Robin advised. "You don't just fly, it wasn't an accident. It was something you learned. Maybe she'll learn one day, like you, but I don't think she's about to just start floating over her crib.

"She wasn't supposed to start walking into mirrors, either, but she did." Raven glared; concerned at the flippant way Robin seemed to be addressing the stimulation of their child."

"Kids love this kind of stuff, Raven. She's an adventurer! She damn well should be, she's my daughter. When I was only four, my father would take me up on the trapeze with him. Always with safety nets, and never really high, but he wanted me to know the joy of flying through the air. He gave that to me. I didn't get into the whole trapeze act just because it was a family thing. There was nothing I enjoyed better than challenging gravity. Don't hold her back. Kids can sense when you're scared for them. It makes them uneasy. Why do you think Rain likes Terra so much?"

"Because blondes have more fun?"

"In this case, you're right. Have _fun,_ Raven. With your daughter."

Raven hesitated for a moment, but held Rain's little hands tightly and levitated off the floor a bit, pulling their child with her. Rain dangled below her, a lopsided grin on her face as Raven pulled her up, hoisting the girl up and gently holding her by the torso. Beginning to get more comfortable, Raven allowed herself to rotate so that she was floating on her back, holding Rain up over her and then slowly allowing herself to rotate, little squeals of mirth and delight coming from her daughter at these new sensations neither her father nor Terra were quite capable of giving her.

"See that Raven, you're a natural." Robin praised her, and Raven found herself surprised that she was, actually, enjoying this.

Returning her daughter's smile, Raven allowed herself to dart around their apartment, making small swoops and ducks. Raven knew she probably lacked the same kind of grace that Starfire brought to flight—the Tamaranian twenty-something truly experienced flight as a joy that was beyond Raven's grasp, her aerial movements defining form over function. Even in combat, Starfire's flight maneuvers had an unmatched elegance that Raven knew she could never match. Even so, Rain seemed very taken by her own simplistic maneuvers, and when the sorceress finally floated over to the bed and brought them both down upon the mattress, a bond seemed to have been formed that was missing previously.

"Was that fun?" Raven asked, questioning the child now resting happily in her lap.

As though understanding, Rain's smile grew into a furious nodding of her head, standing up and clutching at her mother tightly, stirring Raven to awkwardly return the embrace. She had never been much for physical intimacy, but today she seemed to be getting it in large doses.

"See how easy it can be?" Robin offered, wrapping his arms around mother and child, plating his chin on Raven's shoulder. "And you thought she didn't love you."

"I've been wrong before." Raven admitted, causing Robin to sputter.

"You? Hah! Even when I'm right, I'm always wrong/"

"That's because you're the man. Don't forget, we outnumber you."

"Yeah? Maybe we _should_ have another kid then, even up the score…"

"Now you're simply fantasizing. Passing your DNA on was a total lapse in judgment on my part."

"Oh yeah? I think Rain came out the better for it."

"That's because my demonic DNA beat up yours when Rain was just a zygote and showed it who the boss is. Why do you think we had a girl?"

Robin smirked, pointing a finger at his mate. "You exist to torment me, don't you?"

"No. I was born to murder the world. Fortunately I've settled on just tormenting you instead. It's less messy. And more fun."

"For you maybe."

"Oh, Richard, you know you'd be lost if I wasn't here to challenge you at every step of the way. It makes your little triumphs so much more meaningful." She leaned backwards against him, allowing him to literally play the role of the supportive male.

"Who says we aren't a normal family?" Robin shrugged, enjoying this moment he had. As though answering his question, Rain looked up from her mother's lap and stuck out her tongue, giggling.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Ah, Blondie. This is an unexpected surprise. Though I must say, you've come to the right place." Jinx leaned happily in the doorway of her apartment, a wry grin on her face as she looked the blonde over, cocking an eyebrow at the significant chunk of rock turned onto its side nearby like an oversized lawn ornament.

"I don't even know why I came here. I just…did."

"Well, I'm not much for the hospitality thing, but you may as well come in. Just remember, my house is my house." The petite witch shrugged, turning sideways to admit the wayward Titan.

"Doesn't Kid Flash live here too?"

"When I let him." Jinx smirked, shutting the door behind her as Terra entered. "Is this a social call, or are you looking for a place to stay?"

"I don't really know. I thought you said you weren't into hospitality?"

"I'm not, believe me. But we sisters have to stick together. All the others, they were born into this hero stuff. You and me? We're hard cases."

"But we're not the same."

Jinx paused before speaking, stepping into the kitchenette to put some water on to boil. "I was there when you were reborn, you know. When Birdboy went into your noggin?" She tapped the side of her head for emphasis. "I used to believe that I was miserable, when I was young and foolish, before the H.I.V.E. Academy. You made me realize I didn't know what real suffering was. I thought I did. But I was wrong." She shrugged. "Look, let's not get into some kind of miserable pissing contest. We both still have a long way to go. Normally I get off on _schadenfreude_, but come on, tell me your troubles. I can be a good listener."

"Starfire speaks highly of you." Terra smiled weakly.

"I don't really know why. The Princess has her ways, I guess. I spent countless months ministering to her after the Birds broke her heart. Sometimes I'm not sure if any of it got through."

"You'd be surprised. She's…different, since you left. It's been awhile, hasn't it? I thought you were heading East with Kid Flash?"

"Home is relative to him—we're talking about someone who can run between raindrops. Where we live isn't that important to him, he can always get there in a few seconds. Me? Dreary and pathetic as Jump City can be, it's kind of homey. Plus, I figure I kind of owe it. I spent a lot of years terrorizing this place. That stupid conscience of mine won't feel right until I've spent just as much time making a difference for the right team, I guess."

"You? A conscience?" Terra laughed. "I thought you had killed that years ago."

"You and me both. Turns out, I forgot the cardinal rule. Always make sure you identify the body."

"You look good." Terra inclined her head to Jinx's new hairdo, which still came up, now at an elaborate point above the center of her head.

"I've been trying a few new things. I always want to be striking, you know? When Kid Flash and I go out there and bust a few bad guys, I like to make sure they remember me."

"You ever run into your old crew?" 

"Sometimes. But I never really bother. They're idiots. Lazy too. Without someone as brilliant as me to lead them, they're of no real consequence."

"But of course." Terra smiled wryly.

"Besides, they're still kind of pissed at me for that whole Brotherhood of Evil thing. I turned against them that day."

"The great and mighty Jinx, turned inside out by a boy?" the blonde girl teased.

"Hey, hey—get the story right! I switched sides because my idol, Madame Rouge, turned out to be way uncool. Kid Flash was just a delightful bonus."

"Mmm-hmm. I see."

"Don't push your luck, Blondie." Jinx charged pink, kinetic, bad luck energy between her fingertips. "Or I'll make it all bad."

"I make enough bad luck on my own already." Terra sighed, putting her head down on the table.

"That's right; we are here to talk about you, aren't we?"

"If we have to." Terra pouted.

"You came to me. Which makes you…what, exactly? Desperate doesn't quite seem like the right word."

"Everything back home just feels so…wrong."

"Alright. I'm pretty sure I've been there before. Wrong how?"

"It's about Rain?"

"Baby Blues, eh?"

"Of a sort. I'm her godmother. And with Robin actually working and Raven needing to meditate a lot, she can't be there full time, you know? So I do a lot of the heavy lifting. I get help from everyone, though. It's just…"

"You're worn out?"

"No, not at all. I guess you could say I'm the problem, but, it's not me that's the problem."

Jinx snorted, blowing a few low-hanging strands of hair out of her face. "You give an aspirin a headache, Blondie. Mind making sense?"

"Raven thinks that…that Rain prefers me to her. And the worst part is, I'm worried that she's right."

"Well, the kid obviously has good taste. You're the whole package, next to the gloomy chick."

"Raven is emotionally distant. It's not her fault. Rain likes me because I'm…warmer and softer, I guess."

"And the sorceress is handling this development really maturely, I take it."

"If looks could kill, I would've dropped dead today." Terra frowned.

"Ouch. I guess it's to be expected, though. Coming between a mother and her child."

"But I'm not trying to!"

"No, but you still are. And she's definitely the possessive type. The quiet ones always are."

"It gets worse."

"Oooh, drama?"

"Maybe I should go."

"No way, you can't just bait me like that." Jinx rose to answer the whistling tea kettle. "Tell me the details."

"Only if you swear never to discuss this with anyone. Not even Flash!"

"Huh? Look, I know I'm not the Humanitarian of the Year or anything, but I'd never tell anything really dirty that could compromise a friend." Jinx responded, turning off the burner and finding some mugs in a cabinet.

"Friends? We're friends?" Terra blinked.

"Well it's not like I'm in the habit of letting strangers into my place."

"No, it's just. I thought we were more like…allies? Acquaintances, perhaps?"

"Like I said, you and I, we're hard cases. I was there when you were reborn. Maybe I didn't play that big a part, but we have something of a common past. Come on, spill. Would this face lie to you?"

"Wasn't deceit one of your specialties?" Terra arched an eyebrow.

"Yeah. But I'm working on it." Jinx grinned, pouring water into a pot and brewing some China Black. "Look, you either take me at face value, or you don't. But you came here, which means you must think I'm something to you."

Terra looked away, placing her arms on the table and hiding her head in them, muttering. "_I'm in love with Robin_."

"Come again?" Jinx asked, placing the pot on the table with a wicker disc beneath it, making the return trip for their mugs.

"Robin." Terra acquiesced, raising her head enough to say it clearly. "I'm in love with him."

Jinx blanched, dropping one of the mugs on the floor, the sound of splintering ceramic punctuating the earth mover's declaration. "But I thought you and the wild child-"

Terra shook her head. "We have something, but…it's not like all those years ago. I keep trying, I really do. But it's just…not enough."

"When you say love, as in Robin, are we talking an 'I love the way his body fills out that ridiculous costume;' or an 'I think about him holding me in his arms every night before drifting off into a fitful sleep?"

"Definitely the second one."

Jinx picked up the largest fragments of the shattered mug, fetching a dustpan and hand-broom from beneath the sink to deal with the smaller ones. "Not that you probably need me to tell you this, Blondie. But I will anyway—this isn't going to end well for you."

"I know. It's been building for years now, ever since he rescued me…rebirthed me, I guess. I've always been able to make it work until now. I know we can't be together like that and I accept it—honestly, I do. But then this whole thing with Rain getting attached to me, and I feel like I'm…I'm replacing Raven. Why shouldn't I? That part of me that wants him so badly would like nothing better! But my wretched existence has caused too much pain and suffering to others already. Most of all them. I did the worst thing I ever could have to each of them all those years ago. To come between that family the three of them share…there won't be anything left of me if I do. Nothing worth saving."

"So then you'll do what? Run away?"

"If I leave, it will hurt that innocent little girl. And if I stay, I feel like I'm risking everything. For what it's worth, I never meant to fall for him so hard. He did everything for me, everything. And BB has been so loyal to me, so patient. Waiting for the day when I turn completely around, come back to him the way he wants. I'm always there halfway, and he just…just takes it. Never complains. Why isn't he enough?"

"It's not your fault, you know. Who you love. Love." Jinx rolled her eyes. "Now that's one thing I was never really looking for. If he hadn't been so obnoxiously persistent…" Jinx sighed. "Never mind, we're talking about you, like I said earlier. And what matters most is that you're being honest. Have you been honest with both of the men in your life?"

"Robin knows how I feel, and BB knows how I feel about Robin. He wants to wait for me, and Robin encourages me to go after BB, tries to be a friend, tries to encourage me without giving me false hope. But he's in my head, literally. I have conversations with him, that echo of him that's a part of me. He is not just a man. He's the man that saved me when no one else could. The boy who held me in his arms when I had tried to make him kill me just to ease my suffering. The boy who believed that I could still be more. That was willing to lose himself in my mind just to give me a chance to be whole again. I still remember him holding me in the med lab when I would drift in and out of consciousness, wanting to die because of my memories. And he kept me alive. Whispered in my ear that it wasn't over, that there was so much of a story worth writing with my life, holding me through the night and telling me I couldn't go yet, not like that. No one in my life had ever cared for me. Not like that. How could I not help but seal my heart to him from that experience. I get it. I get that he was saving me, out of love. Not the love a boy has for a girl, but the love a brother has for a sister. He was Slade's Apprentice once too. He couldn't let me go. And he didn't. My heart belongs to him now and there's nothing I can do about it except try to forget. Now Rain comes along treating me like a mother…and I just can't cut it! What am I supposed to do? There's enough temptation in my life and I temper it, keep myself pure, never tread where I know that I shouldn't. But this is more than I can bear. Why is this happening to me? I have so much to make up for and I try so hard, and now it's like I'm being deliberately tempted with the family I can never have. I'm not that sweet girl's mother but there's this undeniable part of me that wants to be so bad, that would've given anything to have been the girl that got to bear that child, call it her own."

"Geez you're really in deep." Jinx stated when the fragile girl finally seemed to break, blubbering into tears after all the emotions that had come out of her. Even in her days as a confirmed villainess, the witch never would've wished this kind of thing on her enemies. Jinx emptied the dustpan into the garbage and returned it beneath the sink, moving to stand behind the sitting, quivering girl and gently stroking her back. "Hey, come on now. Let it out. If it's this bottled up, just let it out."

"I am so sick of being so pathetic!" Terra howled through her tears, no longer caring about keeping up appearances, broken sobs interrupting her breathing.

"Okay, okay." Jinx placed her hands on Terra's shoulders, massaging gently. "Easy, easy." She took a napkin out of the holder and held it in front of the blonde. "It's okay now. This is just girl talk, alright?"

"Yeah…girl talk." Terra wiped at her eyes. "Does it ever get any better? Will this ever get any easier?"

"I don't know." Jinx expressed honestly. "Just breathe, okay. Don't let it all crush you. These things all have a way of working out in the end. You just have to be patient."

"I have been patient. It's not fair. Are my sins so great that I have to be tortured like this? If I am so unworthy, why couldn't he have just left me?"

"Are you mad at Robin for saving you, or mad at the universe for your current predicament?"

"I have to pick one?" Terra sniffed. "I know life isn't fair. But this is still cruel. All I want is just something for myself. I had that, once. In Beast Boy. I had it, and I lost it, because of Slade. That was my stupidity. And yet he loves me still. And now that I'm able to do something about it, my heart has been changed, set hopelessly into someone I can never have. Why? I didn't ask for these feelings? I just wanted a chance to find my own happiness, and it's moving further away from me every day. I tried to do the right thing—even gave Robin a damned push towards Raven because when we were joined his feelings to her were so obvious to me. I wanted him to be happy. I was okay with that not including me…not as his life partner, anyway. And yet the more I try to be honorable, the deeper I fall. And the more I try to find a way off this path, the more it traps me like a web."

"Does Raven know?"

Terra nodded. "That makes this…issue with Rain all the more painful for all of us. I know that look in her eyes. Raven feels like I'm doing this on purpose. And there's that dark part of me that wants to. I just want this all to go away!"

"Alright, alright. Relax. You're getting all worked up over things you can't control." Jinx frowned. Starfire had never needed this kind of help, after losing Robin. The alien girl had been a wreck, sure, but she held a lot of it in. Terra was more like a ticking time bomb—filled beyond capacity with emotional turmoil and exploding all over the witch's quiet little slice of suburbia. Much more of this and the earth mover was liable to start, well, moving earth, and her security deposit would be shot to hell. Jinx poured a cup of tea from the plot, carefully placing it in Terra's hands. "See? Feel that? Warm, soothing. Come on now, come back down from this ugly train of thought…"

"I don't even know why I'm telling you this." Terra exhaled, pressing the warm mug to her forehead, not caring that some of the tea spilled out.

"Because you want the opinion of someone who isn't directly involved."

"Yeah, I guess that makes sense. You're a pretty good listener, you know that?"

"I find it just as surprising as you are. I think it's just because I spent all those years with those idiots from the Academy. When Robin took me in, around the time you came back? I thought rooming with the Princess was going to kill me. Turns out, she can actually be kind of fun. And then when he broke her heart, well, someone had to pick up those pieces. You were sort of involved, obviously she couldn't talk to Raven…so I got nominated. I'm not entirely sure I fixed that. She says otherwise…but I'm pretty sure she's still carrying a torch for Robin."

"Robin told me, back when I was with Slade, that I could only save myself. Maybe Starfire can only get over him when she's ready to get over him."

"Yeah, I guess. Still. It isn't healthy of her to hold on for so long. There's plenty of fish, as they say."

"Just so you know, that line is really annoying when it's said by people like you,"

"Because I can be capricious?"

"Because you're with someone. Happily, I might add."

"Not all the time. Happily, I mean. But, I suppose in the greater scheme of things…"

"You're so going to marry him?"

"Have I really been that domesticated?" Jinx asked, sputtering.

Terra gestured with her arms to the small but cozy apartment for two around them. "You tell me, Hex Girl."

"Yeah, well, don't expect me to be going all Betty Crocker. That tea isn't even organic."

"Perish the thought!" Terra chided, suddenly feeling…better, she supposed. She was far from over it, but she didn't feel as though she were going to start hyperventilating anymore. That was as good a start as any. "But thanks."

"Going to make it work with the Wild Child? Or hold out for Robin? I mean, the Gloomy Chick has got to mess things up with him sometime, right?"

"Anything is possible, I suppose. But all the same, I don't think I can spend my entire life like that."

"Of course not. Want me to give her a push for you?!" Jinx asked, becoming excited.

"We're the good guys, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Right." Jinx snapped her fingers in disappointment. "Well, I'm sure it'll all work out okay."

"It probably won't. But, I'll survive. I just…need a little time off before I go back there."

"I can give you a couch." Jinx offered.

"I was thinking more like a five star hotel?"

"Oh, sure. We're the good guys, remember? Unless you've got that kind of cash legitimately."

"What do you suppose ten bucks will get me?"

"My couch and some Chinese take-out."

"What about Kid Flash?"

"He won't mind. Unless you sit in his chair. Not that he sits for long, anyway, the damned showoff." Jinx cracked a smile.

"You guys like fried wontons?"

"When they're fresh. Maybe some Moo-goo-gai-pan. Chicken chow-mein, spare ribs…" 

Terra blinked. "Listen to you! Are you pregnant?"

Jinx twitched slightly, not rising to the bait. "Who says this is all for me. If we don't over order there won't be enough when that guy gets through. Trust me. Once he ate my toast!"

"Your…toast?"

"It's a long story."

"And I've got nothing but time. I'm not going back there until there's less tension."

"Hey, hey, this isn't a hotel. You can stay a night or two. Okay?"

"But aren't we sisters?" Terra pouted.

"Yeah, that's why I'm not charging you rent."

"You're all heart."

"I know. Don't spread it around."

"Deal. So, the toast?" Terra asked, finally sipping her tea, blanching to find it didn't have any sugar.

"It's a funny story, actually. So we were sitting in this little luncheonette…"

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

_Author's Notes_

All of a sudden, I just got furiously inspired to finish the next chapter of this story, so here it is. After posting chapter ten, I got to work on this and got about a third of the way through it, then I just seemed to slow down for quite a while, adding paragraphs here and there, but not really certain what exactly this thing was going to be. Then I got the idea for yet another story, _Miss Misery_, for **Jimmy Two-Shoes**, and I got a prologue banged out to that so quickly. So I figured if I could write that so quickly, what was keeping me from getting back to real production on _Seized With Life_? I opened this file up again, and the story just start coming hardcore, my fingers flying over the keyboard. All I needed was a quiet day at work, and boy, did today fit the bill. I'm really quite pleased with how well this worked out.

Ironically, this new chapter also taught me how little control I have over my own work. This entire Jinx and Terra visit? It was never part of the plan for an instant. I don't know where the idea came from, but a few lines became a throwaway scene became an absolute cornerstone of this chapter. And it all just came. I was really happy with the way Terra's emotional breakdown came out. I've been making that poor girl carry around a lot since the start of this story and I didn't know how she could ever uncork those emotions without really upsetting or distressing some of her fellow Titans. Jinx just felt like the right person to unburden herself to, someone who wouldn't really have a horse in the race and try to tell Terra whether her feelings are right or wrong. Sometimes, you just need to go with things.

Of course, that wasn't the only thing I liked about this chapter. When I look it over, I really like, well, everything. Most of the character interactions felt relevant to me, and each scene had something to say. That's the most important aspect of this story to me, that it's actually saying something. There are a lot of my own personal beliefs and demons and little things mixed in throughout it, so it's one I'm really rather proud of. I strive to make every chapter rather long, too. Not just in quantity, but in quality. I know you all end up being kept waiting for new chapters far more than you would like to be, so I try to make sure that each one is worth your while and not published for the sake of just saying I updated the damn thing. Each new chapter should grow the story in some ways and make you connect with the characters. This one, I feel, is full of those little moments.

I also ended up writing a lot of as-yet-unpublished Terra material that I may not even end up using, but I just end up with ideas for the blonde. Ironic, since I know most people either love her or despise her. I see her as this beautifully fragile young girl who has a lot of love to give, but can't seem to find the right place to put it. Btu hell, let's face reality. This story goes so far against the grain of most **Teen Titans** fanfics that I doubt it makes much of a difference at this point. Like I almost always end up saying in these notes, I really am trying to tell a story you can't find told a thousand other ways. Maybe that's interesting to you, maybe it's boring. But it is what it is. This is far from the most popular story in the archive, or even that I've written, but I sure do seem to have a great deal of fun with it. With any luck, if you're reading this far, you are too. If you approach this story with an open mind, you'll probably get the most out of it.

Speaking of which, I've been considering something a little different for a while now. I was going to pen yet another story—related to this one. Tentatively titled _Gotham Nights_, it was going to be about exactly how the hell Robin and Raven ended up together to begin with. Now I'm considering just doing some special chapters of _Seized_ to fill in that backstory, like I did with _The Human Stain_ chapters way back in 2011 (was it really that long ago?!). I'll probably put up a poll on that—I've needed to overhaul my damned, hideously out of date profile for years anyway. With this epic snow and ice storm bearing down on me that is guaranteeing I punch ten digits into my phone and tell them I'm not showing up, so maybe I'll be able to work on that tomorrow. Or not. I suppose it all depends upon whether or not the power stays running or not. But keep a watch for that poll; I'll put it up as soon as I reasonably can.

So, I guess that'll do it for now. A lot of different stuff went into the proverbial soup that is this chapter, so if it isn't too much to ask, do me a favor and tell me what you think of it? Even if you hate it, hey, it made you feel something, so I'd still consider that a moderate success. Constructive criticism is accepted, I only throw out pointless flames. Read, review, you all know the drill.

As always, you may feel free to send your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands to:

Lord Malachite

2/13/14

5:07AM, EST

E-mail ranger (underscore) writer

AIM: Asukaphile26

Twitter: lordmalachite


	12. Guilty By Design

Chapter Twelve: _Guilty By Design_

It was warm and bright inside the bridal boutique, but also empty. There were no other worried brides-to-be milling about, or staffers looking to close a sale on a pricey satin wedding gown. They had the entire boutique to themselves, with just one staff person on retainer by the register to assist them with any purchase or requested alteration. The lighting was bright, and seemed to reflect off the cornucopia of white formal wedding attire adorning the mannequins and racks, further enhances by reflection from the mirrors that were all around the room at different, tri-paneled stations. The most central of which she now occupied.

The dress fit her snugly, a tight fit across her muscular breasts and ribs, loosening into the traditional flow as it trailed off into a train behind her, the headpiece mixing with her blonde hair wonderfully, giving it a gossamer sheen. She felt like a girl playing dress up, only this was much more important.

"You have no idea how happy you're making me." Terra spun in her bridal gown, her arms branching out for balance.

"Oh, I think I have an idea." Robin grinned, dressed in his street attire, jeans and a white T-shirt displaying the logo of Jump City's illustrious baseball team. "Isn't this bad luck, me seeing the dress?"

"No way!" Terra giggled, clutching onto him. "You're the only one I want to model this for. It's not like it's going to be a big wedding. No one's coming." 

"Given the circumstances, it's probably for the best."

"I don't care." Terra pouted, letting go of her fiancé's shoulders. "If it's just you and me against the world, it's enough."

"You're pretty when you're defiant." Robin smirked, lacing their fingers together.

"I was made for you, Dick. I always wanted you to see that. You can trust me with your heart. I will never leave."

"Everyone else did."

"Do you blame them?" Terra sighed, crestfallen.

"No. And it's not worth asking forgiveness. But I miss my little girl."

"Do you blame me?" Terra asked, dreading the answer.

Instead of using words, he enveloped her in his arms, holding her tight, inhaling the rich scent of her hair, the earnestness of her voice. He knew more than ever when he held her that she wouldn't let go of him even to save her own life. "Would I be here if I did?"

"And you'll marry me?" She asked again. "Just plain Terra? The girl who has been a plague on your life since you first laid eyes on her."

"You are not a plague. I make my own decisions."

"I will give you the family you lost." She whispered into his ear, squeezing his hands tightly, pressing them against her abdomen. "Plant as many children in me as you need to be satisfied, I'll have them all."

"Terra, shhh. That's not why I'm marrying you."

"I know. But I just want you to know that I'll do anything you ask. This is all I've wanted for so long. Don't hold back anything from me."

"What I want is you Terra."

"If you only knew how long I've wanted you to say that. I love you so much, Robin. You'll never really know how much…"

"What about on the honeymoon?"

"Hmm, well, I wasn't planning on packing anything but my toothbrush…I thought we could spend our time in the room…"

"You really don't want to see Niagara Falls?" Robin asked.

"You're the only natural wonder I plan to look at." She blushed, earning herself an incredulous look from Robin. "Alright, alright, I suppose I can do both. But I'm going to need around the clock attention." Terra giggled, taking his hands away from her abdomen and holding them in her own, clenched between the two of them. "I know I'm not your first love, Robin, and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I want to be your last love. I want to give you everything you've lost and so much more. You complete me, Boy Wonder. And one of my vows to you is to spend every day trying to bring you even a fraction of the happiness you've bought into my life. You chose me, and I'll never let you regret it, Dick. You are my first, last, greatest, and one true love."

"You keep this up, and there won't be anything left for the wedding!" Robin smirked.

"I'd marry you here in this boutique, right now, given the chance."

"Try to hold out a little longer, love. It's only next week…"

The blonde girl nodded solemnly, spinning in her dress once more. "So, be honest. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" Robin asked, drinking in the way the dress hugged at all of Terra's athletic curves, hiding her strong, slender legs and caressing her modest chest in a way Robin found both enticing and conservative, a white and grey sheen hiding much of her lower body from him. "I think that if you wear this dress, then someone is going to marry you." He whispered into her ear, inhaling her tantalizing scent once more as he nibbled at her earlobe.

"Anyone in particular?" She asked, her breath catching.

"Someone who looks fabulous in a mask and cape…" He teased, breathing into her ear canal.

Terra quivered at the sensation, being expertly manipulated by her fiancé. "I never knew Speedy was into me." She chided. "Now I have two men to choose from."

"Oh, trying to play coy after that speech you gave me?" Robin asked, lifting her into his arms, bridal style.

Terra actually beamed at the treatment, realizing how perfectly she fit into his arms. She didn't feel awkward in the slightest. "Okay, okay, I surrender!" She cried, taking a breath to extend the moment. "I yield!"

"Hmm, maybe I'll get a bit of a jumpstart on that honeymoon!"

Terra laughed, making her entire body shake, and she cried out in mock protest. "Help! Oh help! A ruthless cad has ahold of me! Someone save me before her absconds with my virtue!" She called, making little banging motions with her fists against his shoulders like a true, helpless damsel in distress.

"Huh, I was just going to take you out to a fine dinner, but that sounds like it has so many more possibilities." He grinned wolfishly, curling her close to nibble at her neck.

The action made her squeal, her breath coming in pants. "You're going to ruin the dress…"

"You're only going to wear it once anyway. Two hours to put it on properly, two minutes to rip it off."

"So much for the romance!"

"Says who? I could setup the room anyway you like. Wine, rose petals, scented candles…"

"Anywhere is fine as long as it's with you. Everything it's taken just to get here, everything you've given up."

"I've got you, though."

"Yes. And you always will. I just…never meant for there to be this much suffering. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be. I chose to leave."

"I know. But it was my fault."

"Loving me was not your fault. I didn't have to reciprocate. I could've stayed with Raven. I could've helped her."

"Yes. That's what I'm sorry for. I pushed you towards her all those years ago. Because I could feel those emotions in you so strongly. I shouldn't have done that. I should have pushed you towards me. Then none of this would have happened, not like this. Maybe Beast Boy would still be hurt and Starfire would still be upset…but you wouldn't have had to make Raven and Rain suffer."

"Rain probably wouldn't even exist."

"Yeah." The blonde shuddered slightly. "I'm sorry. I don't wish for her to not have been born. I just…all I ever do is make others suffer."

"As it turns out, I'm not much better. Every time I tried to do right by you, by my family, by my team, I only hurt them more. I am responsible for what Raven has become. Not you."

"We are both responsible. And we always will be. I know she hates me and I understand that, accept it. God, I welcome it. What I did to her was unforgiveable."

"Shhh. Come on, it's alright. I'm here."

"You're the only good thing about me, Robin. You are my salvation. Save me."

"Terra…this isn't good for you."

"Yes it is. It's the only thing that's good for me."

"No. It's not healthy."

"Robin."

"Terra. You can't use me like some kind of rosary to sleep better at night. I exist in your mind to be your guide. I've indulged your dreams in unconsciousness…but I believe that it does more harm than good for you to continue to come here."

"No. Don't take this away. Please, no!" The lighting within the intimate dress boutique seemed to dim somewhat, like a thunderstorm threatening to wreak havoc on the power grid. The subdued lighting seemed to cast dark shadows around the previously bright interior, making it feel more cramped and confining. She looked in abject horror at the reflection they cast, seeing Robin begin to fade from it. She clutched at him more tightly, pressing herself into him in desperation. "This is all I have! Let me dream in peace. Just hold me here. Love me, take me. It can be enough. It doesn't have to be reality. It's real enough to me when I shut my eyes and curl up into a ball beneath my blankets."

"And what would the Terra that exists in Robin's mind say? Would she not want to stay out of the way? You cannot keep shutting your eyes and closing your ears to the truth."

"Who says I am? I ran away because I was coming between them. I never want to do that. I know it will destroy a family. I'm not that selfish. I'm not this selfish in real life. Please don't take this away from me. If I can have what I want in my dreams and fantasies I can stay alive. Don't take away my only solace."

"This isn't right for you, Terra. The tighter you hold onto what cannot be, the lonelier you'll become. You have to move on."

"I can't." She whispered. "This is it for me. The end."

"No. It's a beginning. You're such a beautiful, tortured soul. I should know. But there is a place for you. Don't doubt that."

"This is my place. In your arms. His arms. Can't he see that? Aren't I worth something?"

"Love takes different forms, Terra. He only wants what's best for you. He doesn't want to hurt you. Like you don't want to her Beast Boy."

"I know. I get it. I do. But this is what my heart wants. You know it. You _feel_ it."

The echo of Robin that resided within her mind did. "Yes. I do."

"Then be him for me. Hold me the way he won't, please! Don't make me be alone. I can't bear it alone anymore! Leave me something to escape to."

"Alright. I won't try to stop you any longer." The image in her mind resigned, reaching out to her."

"And don't hold back." Terra pressed. "Convince me it's real. Make me long for my bed each night and my reunion with you."

"You don't think that's unhealthy?"

"Maybe it is. I just don't want to live a lie anymore." She whispered.

"What about Rain? She cares for you. You're very special to her."

"I won't abandon her. But I need your strength to keep putting myself in that situation. To be so close to that little girl. To stand next to him. To feel Raven bearing down on me. She knows, now. I never wanted her to hate me. I don't hate her. Envy, perhaps. But not hate. She helped me. She trusted me. And in my heart I know…I know she'll never forgive me."

"You have done nothing wrong. You never acted on your feelings. You never tried to replace Raven as a mother or a mate. You're innocent."

"That doesn't make it go away."

"Time and patience, Terra. You still have so much more to do in life. So much more love to give."

"And where am I supposed to put it?"

"Here, for now." He reached out to her, enveloping her small, lithe form in his arms, unable to deny that she fit there so perfectly. Like a mate that had been made for him. Or maybe that was Terra's doing. He was an echo of the real Robin, certainly. But this was her mind. She had control. But did it matter? Her mind was his reality, and that was all that really mattered. He would hold Terra because no one else could, not in the way she needed. He just had to hope that it would be enough.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"You don't mind missing the auction?" Raven asked.

"Cyborg can manage without me. It's you I'm worried about."

"Worried?" Raven responded with a bit of trepidation in her voice.

"I want to make sure my family is okay."

"In the greater scheme of things." Raven responded, but her response was delayed just enough to concern the Boy Wonder.

"You're still hung up on Rain and Terra, aren't you?"

"Richard?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think that I'm…bad at living?"

"Bad at living?" Robin pondered the words, trying to gauge their meaning.

"Am I too distant?" She tried again. "From you, from our daughter."

"Rae, I understand that you have limitations. We talked about this back in Gotham. When I told you I wanted you, it wasn't just some words I said to get into your panties."

"I know." Raven tapped her head. "Empathy, remember? If I had detected any deception in you, I would've led you on and then shot you down just to teach you a lesson."

"Remind me never to cross you." Robin smirked.

"Too late." The sorceress inclined her head. "Now, don't avoid the question. Am I distant?"

"Were you distant when you were playing with Rain earlier? Were you distant when we were cuddled up in bed this afternoon?"

Raven shook her head sadly. "Even after all this time, I am still…not good with interpreting all my emotions. I have to dwell on them, categorize them, study them. But I can only feel them in the faintest of ways. I understand what my feelings are, why I have them. But I can never just allow myself to truly revel in an emotion, express it more openly. The first time we made love in Gotham the Tiffany lamp shattered because you whispered something in my ear. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

"You said…"

"I know."

"You said it was enough. Just to lie there with me. I wasn't even certain we could without…problems."

"Raven, don't you know that by now? I would want you even if we never could've made love, could never had Rain together. I made a promise to you that it was enough. It wasn't just something I said."

"That's exactly the problem, Richard."

"Okay, now I'm confused." He threw his arms up into the air.

"You don't just say things. Platitudes. You mean what you say and you do it."

"I wouldn't ask you to trust me with your heart if I didn't."

"So then tell me now, Boy Wonder. Can you keep your promises to Terra without breaking your promises to me?"

"What are you talking about? It's not nearly the same! You're my mate, Raven. My soul."

"I'm not accusing you." Raven reached out for his hand, guiding him to sit next to her on their bed. "But you have made promises to that girl. Promises that are keeping her alive. Only a fool would deny what she feels for you."

"I haven't betrayed your trust, Raven."

"I am not saying you have. But we need to discuss this. Terra's ultimate happiness is dependent upon your reciprocation of her romantic feelings."

"I let her down easy."

"You promised to make her happy, Robin. To protect her. You're hurting her, now. She will not speak of it, not to you. But she came to me, asked me to help her. But I cannot. To truly help her, I would have to alter her memories. I don't think it's an ethical thing to do."

"So then what?"

"I never planned on needing someone." Raven said quietly. "I grew up alone, believed I was best off on my own. When we met, all those years ago, you taught me that I was wrong to think that. That being alone is not the answer. Our friendship has meant more to me than I ever thought possible. Upgrading it…there was something that just seemed right about that. In spite of the inherent risks involved. Perhaps even against my better judgment."

"You're everything, Raven. You of all people should know that."

"And yet you are everything to someone else whether you choose to acknowledge it or not."

"That's not fair, Raven."

"No, it isn't. To any of us. And yet it is the truth."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

She fixed him with a look, pursing her lips with a frown. "Do you wish me to?"

"Of course not!"

"I see."

"Stop playing word games Raven. Tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm thinking that I am involved with a man who has the best intentions." Raven offered. "Yet there are other lives involved here. Most of all Rain's." She motioned to their daughter, who currently sat on the floor across the room, playing with a small collection of Pretty Pretty Pegasus toys.

"Okay, hit the brakes, backup. I am totally committed to our little girl."

"I'm not doubting you, Richard. Neither your intentions towards me or our daughter."

"Then why do I feel like I'm being dumped?!"

"You are not being dumped. We aren't breaking up. I'm not asking you to leave. Don't worry."

"You start a windup to what sounds like a breakup speech and I'm not supposed to worry?"

"If I wanted you out, you would be out. What I want to know is what you plan to do about Terra."

"I don't intend to do anything. I get that she loves me. I feel for her. Hell, I feel responsible for her. But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to love her."

"No, it does not." Raven agreed. "Be that as it may, the fact remains that you do love her, Robin."

"What?" He sputtered, taken aback.

"You have feelings for that girl. They are not the same that you share for me. For what it's worth, I don't believe that they are intentionally romantic in nature. However, you have a strong connection with Terra. I have known this for a long time. You held her in your arms when she was recovering years ago. Made promises to her that you would give her a reason to live as she drifted in and out of consciousness. You are sworn to her in spirit. The evidence suggests that she does have a claim to you."

"Raven, this is crazy."

"No, it isn't. It's logical."

"But I never promised her my heart."

"And I believe you. If I thought you had, we would be having a much different discussion. Despite my earlier outburst towards Terra, I too feel responsibility for her. I linked your minds together."

"Under my orders."

"That is not an excuse. I also chose to enter into this relationship with you, in spite of forging that prior bond. I could have refused. As you have admitted, it was your arrogance at play that made you give me the order, made you believe you were right. But it was my own selfish desires that allowed me to share all of this with you…" She gestured to the apartment around them and the family they had forged, "…in spite of knowing that there were risks. So I also bear responsibility. If I had acted less emotionally, I would have refused this. Unfortunately, it is too late for that. And as I said, we have Rain to consider."

"What does Rain have to do with any of this? She is our child. We conceived her, you birthed her, we've raised her…"

"With considerable assistance from Terra."

"Yeah! And considerable assistance from Starfire and Cyborg and Beast Boy too! She is still _our _child."

"And she will continue to be. I am not proposing a dissolution of our relationship. I am merely recognizing that Terra has a claim to you."

"So what? I let you two fight over me? Sounds like some kind of soap opera."

"Hardly. I do not wish to share. And you are not allowed to have a harem." The hint of a smirk on her face at that decision seemed to resonate with the hero. For Raven, these were rather strong declarations. She did not speak of her feelings openly. And she was now as much as admitting that she would not give him up without a fight.

This knowledge seemed to spark something within the Boy Wonder, reminding him of why he had always desired her. She never gave anything away with ease and constantly challenged him to be better than he was. She was his warrior woman in every sense of the term. A sparring partner and confidante. But also fiercely loyal and, running deep inside of her were her passions, chief among them the little girl that had given her life such purpose. "I only need one Queen, Rae. You know that. You know it's you."

"No, I don't." The sorceress sighed.

"What?" His voice lowered to a whisper.

"I am certain that you believe what you are saying to me. My doubt is not a question of your devotion to either me or Rain. It is about your obligations. Terra weighs heavy on your mind. And you are…a large part of her aura, occupying her thoughts, her hopes, and her dreams. This is not some schoolgirl crush. She is a woman in love and she is bonded to you. That is not something that can just be wiped away. Time and patience is required."

"And what if-?"

"No. There will be no 'what ifs.' Raven admonished. "What will be, will be."

"You're serious."

"I am always serious." Raven cocked an eyebrow. "Do you love me?"

"Raven, there is a part of me that has been falling in love with you since we met. You remind me so much of myself. And yet, at the same time, you can be so different."

"That's good to know. I wouldn't want you dating a mirror."

"I'm scared of losing you, Rae."

"That's also good. It means you have impeccable taste." An awkward silence fell between them until Robin found himself embracing his Intended, which she begrudgingly accepted, folding her arms around him. "Relax. Deep breaths. It will be alright."

"But what if it isn't?! What if I…I…"

"Do you love Terra?"

"Rae, I…."

"Speak truthfully." She insisted.

"I don't even know. It's so different. Terra…I have this unending desire to protect her. She's part of me. Like you. Like Rain. I can't just…let something happen to her. Let her be alone. Let her…"

"You won't. One way or another."

"At the cost of you? Raven, I know that I can't have it both ways. I'm telling you—you are what I want. I care about that fragile, broken, earnest, earth-moving young girl a great deal. I know her pain. But I don't want to put her in your place. And as much as I want to save her, I'm not willing to just let go of you or Rain in order to do that."

"She will come for you, Robin. And she will beg. She will plead. She will do these things not out of a desire to break you and I apart, but out of a desire to complete the bond within her heart. A bond you forged with her. A promise you made to her."

"I'll say no."

"Perhaps." Raven nodded. "But even so, it will come to pass. I believe my best option is to allow it."

"You can't be serious. You would not want me to be unfaithful to you."

"No. However, we were not completely honest with each other when this relationship began. The reckoning for that will come. And on that night, the night you don't come home to Rain and I, your bond with Terra will be completed. This is a boon that I grant you, without malice or strings attached, provided that it only happen the one time. On that night, and that night only, whenever it may come, I permit you to be with her."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. And I understand it is what you need. Not just for Terra. For yourself."

"I need to betray you? To take the promise that you would be my one and only, and attach clauses and mitigating circumstances to it? That's what you're saying?"

"I do appreciate your desire to be faithful to me, Richard. And I believe your sincerity. However, I have also come to appreciate that this is something that must happen. It may be the only way that Terra can be free. I share responsibility for her current state, and so I will allow you to do what is necessary to help her. Because I believe you will return to me."

"Then why does this feel wrong?"

"Because you are a good man. Trust me in this." She reached her arms up to his shoulders, looking at him. "We will be alright. We will get through this. We will survive it because we choose to."

"You're not even giving me a choice."

"Fine then. Talk with her. Explain my proposal to Terra. Look her in the eye and tell her you can't give this to her—a gift from both of us. And then we'll talk."

"That's dirty pool, Raven."

"Where your stubbornness is concerned, I have no scruples. It is a match for my own, after all."

"And how can I just do this?"

"Be with her. When that time comes, think about her. I absolve you in advance of any wrong-doing. We are both to blame for this situation. Her claim to you is valid, at least in part, and I will honor it. But this does not mean that we have to give up what we share. I would prefer that our child have two parents. Perhaps three if we count Terra.

"Is that your idea of a joke?"

"Beast Boy doesn't get to be the only comedian around here. Besides, Terra has largely been a blessing with Rain. I owe her an apology for the way I acted. It was immature."

"I think you're entitled to a little immaturity." Robin smirked. "Especially considering your proposal."

"As long as it is only the one time."

"What about Beast Boy?"

"Nothing happens without his knowledge and approval. He has a right to know. But I think he'll be okay with it."

"I don't know if I'd put those words in his mouth. If it were a situation where we were together and there was something between you and him that could only be resolved by…"

"I forbid you to finish that sentence. The very though is nauseating." 

"I dunno, Rae. Maybe it could work if you were like some kind of dominatrix."

The sorceress held a hand up to her forehead. "Honestly, Richard. It's like you're asking me to do physical harm to you. I'll have to meditate and extra hour tomorrow just to exorcise that image from my mind."

"Well, you could always try it out on me first…" Robin gently rubbed her free hand, circling the soft, smooth skin with his thumb. I want you tonight."

"You say that now. But we both know you'll want me tomorrow night too. And the night after that."

"Hey, I only get to be young this once. From where I'm sitting, I need to enjoy it. If these are the best years of my life, I want to spend them with you."

"Then I suppose I'll have to accommodate you. After Rain goes to bed."

"Isn't it past her bedtime?"

"Let her be awhile longer. _Anticipation_." She whispered the last work in his ear, releasing him. "I'm going to go and take a bath. I'll see you later, Boy Wonder."

Robin stared after her as Raven sauntered out of the room with an added swagger to her hips, toying with his emotions. "Did you see that, Rain?" He asked his daughter, who was still occupied with her building blocks. "Your daddy calls that cheating."

Rain looked up, small black tresses bobbing slightly. She gave her father an expression resembling puzzlement and disinterest before returning to the assorted winged horses she was playing with, the rug starting to look like a stable with its myriad of accessories and pastel-hued beasts of burden. Rain laughed as she kept pushing Butterbean and Sparkleface together, causing Robin to wonder if his daughter was precocious and perceptive enough at her age to be making a joke at her parents' expense.

"Oh, sure, laugh it up." Robin crossed over to his daughter, picking her up. "You're on her side. Don't think I don't know it."

Rain stared up into her father's eyes as he held her in front of him, sticking out her tongue. The effect caused both parent and child to chuckle. Robin swung her onto his shoulder, steadying her to ensure she wouldn't fall. "Okay little princess. I think it's time for pajamas and a bedtime story."

"Rupblrg!" Rain smiled gleefully as she was carried off, looking up over Robin's shoulder to see where she'd been. Her little hands clung to his shoulder blade tightly, making her feel more secure.

Robin carried his daughter into her bedroom, sitting her on the bed while he pulled some toddler-sized pajamas out of a dresser drawer. The outfit he selected was one meant to resemble Raven's usual attire—a soft, silk pull over, jet black like Rain's hair, adorned with a little row of embroidered jewels near the waste. A tiny pair of little black shorts accompanied it. Much to his surprise, Rain did not fuss or squirm as her day outfit was peeled off and replaced with the pajamas, although she seemed to find some amusement in her father's efforts to pull her shorts up all the way, Robin finally resorting to hoisting her into them like a sack of potatoes. "You might find that amusing, baby girl, but nothing is easy with you. You are definitely your mother's daughter."

Rain looked up in awe at that comment, then began to tug on Robin's sleeves, wanting to be picked up again. Knowing he had the time to spend, Robin acquiesced, lifting her up and grinning. "You want to dance, don't you?"

The little girl's response was to grip tighter to her father. "Okay, but one day you're gonna be too heavy."

Rain shook her head furiously, something Robin found to be adorable. Whatever her difficulty with speaking, she seemed to understand language well enough. "Alright Rain, just for you. Let's just hope Mommy doesn't catch us." Robin cleared his throat, recalling from his detective memory the simple lyrics she loved so much.

"_Well you may go to college  
>You may go to school<br>You may have a pink Cadillac _

_But don't you be nobody's fool _

_Now baby_

_Come back baby come back_

_Come back baby come back_

_Come back baby_

_I wanna play house with you_"

Robin moved in time with the tune in his head, swaggering his hips slightly and bouncing Rain up and down and side to side in the manner she loved, the little girl giggling all the while as though her father was the greatest musical amusement park ride in existence.

"_Now listen and I'll tell you baby_

_What I'm talkin' about_

_Come on back to me, little girl_

_So we can play some house_

_Now baby _

_Come back baby come back_

_Come back baby come back_

_C'mon back baby_

_I wanna play house with you_"

Robin lifted Rain outward at the chorus, holding her waist steady and spinning around. Her eyes widened in pure glee as she got treated to the sensation of flight for the second time that day, and Robin could only imagine what she was thinking when she looked so happy and content.

"_Now this is one thing baby_

_That I want you to know_

_Come on back and let's play a little house_

_And we can act like we did before_

_Now baby _

_Come back baby come back_

_Come back baby come back_

_Come on back baby_

_I wanna play house with you_

_Yeah!"_

Robin wasn't too certain about his career as an Elvis impersonator, but Rain wasn't a very harsh critic. She loved the classics. He wondered if it had to do with that hospital in Gotham that played all those oldies tunes. Raven had spent a lot of time in and out of there during her pregnancy. And its possible her developing newborn form remembered certain notes and impressions from her time in the nursery before coming home. At least he had the hair for a pompadour hairstyle if he ever wanted to go all the way. It might be worth it just to get a rise out of Raven.

Attentive to his daughter's amusement, Robin crossed to the bed and knelt in front of it, setting Rain's little feet down on the mattress so they could mock dance together, he moved her arms and she allowed herself to be pulled in silly motions, adding jumps to the mix.

"_Now listen to me baby_

_Try to understand  
>I'd rather see you dead little girl<em>

_Than to be with another man_

_Now baby _

_Come back baby come back_

_Come back baby come back_

_C'mon back baby_

_I wanna play house with you_

_Oh baby, baby, baby_

_Baby baby baby b-b-b-b-b-b baby baby baby  
>Baby baby baby baby<em>

_C'mon back baby_

_I wanna play house with you!_"

Robin finished in a fit of laughter all his own, tipping Rain gently backwards onto the bed and tickling her tummy, the dark-haired tot squealing with laughter. "There we are! Who loves you little girl?" He relented, allowing Rain to catch her breath, he stroked her hair gently, coaxing her into settling down after all that play. "You're gonna grow up so fast, you know that Rain? Today you're barely talking at all and before I know it you'll be begging me for a cell phone. Coming home with boys for me to scare off with an exploding Birdarang." He mussed her hair slightly. "You changed everything, you know. I never even thought about being a father. Now I can't even imagine a life without you. I didn't realize how empty it was before. So thanks for being here." He leaned down and kissed her forehead. "Okay, time for bed Rain. Let's pick you out a good story for dreamland."

"Do you mind if I cut in?" Raven asked, standing in the doorway holding a book with a warm-colored leather cover.

"How long have you been there?"

"Since the second chorus. Speaking of, aren't I the one you should be serenading with a song like that?"

"I can't help it if she has good taste in music."

"Be nice and we'll keep playing house." Raven touched his cheek gently as she passed before sitting on the edge of the bed where their daughter lay, Rain gazing up at both of her parents somehow expectantly.

"She looks so much like you, Rae. She's got my hair, I know. But she's got your eyes, your cheeks…"

"She is ours. The one thing I'm certain we did right."

"We've done plenty right, Raven. Rain is just the best one."

Raven turned to him, slightly flushed. "I…appreciate your feelings. Go on and light some candles. I…want to talk to you before we…"

Robin placed his hands on Raven's shoulders. "I'll see you in a bit, Rae. Goodnight, Rain. Sweet dreams okay?" Robin cast a worried glance at the mirror over the dresser that he had covered earlier in paper wrapping.

"Buh." Rain smiled happily, making a modest waving gesture. It was enough to make her meaning clear, Robin exchanging a pleased expression with his mate before departing.

"You who were born to such ridiculous people as your father and I." Raven tried for a smile in her expression, wanting to appear warmer to her daughter. "You're alrighr, kid. How about a fairytale from my homeland? It's a part of you too, you know."

"Gupqrtz." Rain nodded her head, hanging on her mother's every word as she opened the book with reverence, beginning to recite. She did not begin to nod off until moments before Raven had reached the end.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

The first thing she felt was an unexpected warmth on her face. Like a glow, or a faint, hot breeze. She ignored it, settling back into unconsciousness, a thumping sound that seemed to occur intermittently—sometimes close, sometimes far away, lulling her back into blissful rest and dreams that were far more enjoyable than reality.

The next thing she felt was somehow familiar, strands of hair being parted from her face, a hand that was somehow both rough and gentle caressing her skin. "Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!" The unmistakable voice of Jinx called her back to consciousness. The purveyor of hexes looked down upon her quarry, straddled over the blonde demurely. "Come on, Blondie, it's time to get up. You don't need this much beauty sleep. I mean, you're not that ugly!"

"Not on the outside." Terra rubbed at her eyes, looking up into the mischievous face of the witch.

Jinx was clad in a simple black number that was like some kind of cross between a tank-top and lingerie—bare arms through little more than straps on her shoulder, held together in back by the familiar clasp of a bra, but covering past the girl's modest breasts to just above the navel. A grin split her face. "You sleep like the dead. You were smiling, though."

"Sometimes I feel like the dead." Terra sighed. "Are you going to stay on top of me all day?"

"I just wanted to get your attention." Jinx announced, rolling backwards and vaulting the arm of the couch behind her, sticking her landing admirably. "Time for breakfast."

"Another day in my life." The blonde girl rolled her eyes, debating between getting some food and rolling back over into blissful sleep and the arms of a man who only came to her in dreams. While the latter was sorely tempting, pissing Jinx off seemed like a markedly bad move. She had nowhere else to go.

Terra counted backwards from ten, and in one fluid movement, rocked backwards and used the inertia to pull herself out of her lying down position into an awkward, slumped form of sitting. She stretched her arms wide, letting out a catlike yawn and rubbing some sleep from her eyes. "What's for breakfast?"

"Eggs and bacon, like I said." Jinx chided. "And some toast. I've got orange and cranberry juice. And-"

"Coffee." Terra finished, starting at the percolator with something resembling affection. "Yeah, that will really hit the spot."

The earth-mover stood, pulling up her beige cotton sleep shorts and tucking her simple but functional blue t-shirt into the elastic band of the shorts. Pretty bare feet making soft padding sounds on the finished hardwood floor. "So a breakfast spread, huh? How positively—"

"Don't say it!" Jinx pleaded.

"…Domestic." Terra drew her response out, grinning malevolently as she snatched a slice of lightly buttered toast.

"I despise you!" Jinx responded, dropping herself into a chair.

"As you say, I call them like I see them. You are so in love." Terra kicked out her feet, stretching her legs onto the seat across from her, directly next to Jinx.

"I don't have to take that from someone who is madly in love with someone else's fiancé" Jinx pouted, lashing out.

"Ouch. First thing in the morning?" Terra asked, feeling a little gloomy.

"Ugh. Fine. I'm sorry. That was a little below the belt. But you started it!"

"And yet you're the one who went to all the trouble to make us this breakfast. Which, obviously, was not done for my benefit. You made this for Flash." Terra narrowed her eyes. "I'm just a convenient excuse."

"Oh, shut up!" Jinx spat, stabbing a fork into the scrambled eggs she had already set onto her plate, the warm smell of fluffy eggs beaten into milk and cheddar cheese and done on a gas range making Terra's stomach growl.

"Hey, I don't mind being used. Your couch is pretty nice. So where's Flash anyway?"

"He ate and ran. Literally." Jinx worked the food from the fork into her mouth with something resembling violence before stabbing at her plate again. Terra had a distinct impression Jinx was imagining a certain arrogant red-head's face was in her plate. "Ungrateful bastard. I rather wanted to have a nice cozy breakfast, you included. It's good for couples to do things with other people, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. I dunno, I don't do much. Beast boy and I are technically an item, and I do spend time with him. But whether we're alone or with the others, it doesn't feel like this thing, you know? It's not like we're entertaining guests. We all live under the same roof."

"You need to get out more." Jinx set down her fork, crossing her arms.

"You need to tell him how you feel. Really tell him. Make him listen. You know he cares. If you thought he didn't, you'd be too busy hexing him right now."

"He makes me weak." Jinx groaned. "I didn't use to be this way. This being good stuff has so many rules. I thought it would be easier. Don't steal, don't hurt other people. I had to break a few habits, but I got the hang of that. But making myself vulnerable to someone else, it just…isn't me."

"Nobody likes being vulnerable. What little girl thinks of herself as being helpless without a man to save her? Maybe hundreds of years ago? But we're way past that. Hell, what guy would want to be helpless? We all are from time-to-time…heaven only knows what a mess I am. But still, even when I only had the most cursory control of my powers, when I truly did feel helpless, I never wanted to. I hated it. And I hated myself. There's nothing worse than feeling like you can't do anything right, like your only reason for existing is to hurt other people. And every time someone comes into your life and shows you a little kindness, you push them away. You make them hate you. Because you're so frightened of hurting them. Or worse. So making them hate you, leave you alone…it becomes your only defense. But still it poisons your soul. When Robin saved me, I dreamed. A lot. I drifted in and out of consciousness for a week or so. I remember trying to understand how I could have betrayed them all. What happened to me, to make me want to hurt the only people who showed me real kindness. Who trusted me. Who took a chance on me. How could I have been fooled so completely by Slade? But it was easy for him. He saw all my fears, all my weaknesses. He played me like a fiddle. But even so, I should have known better. I ran from the Titans after we first met. All because Robin knew I couldn't control my powers. I ran in fear and anger, thinking Beast Boy had betrayed the trust I put in him. But now I know that he didn't. Robin just figured it out. He always does that. Figures things out. Figures me out. He knew me better than BB did even back then. All he ever wanted was to help me. And I am like a plague on his life…I can't even stop myself from-"

"Stop it." Jinx insisted, her eyes widening at Terra's monologue. "Geez, Blondie. All you did was fall in love with a man. Who, while I hate to admit it, has some pretty good qualities. He took a chance on me too, you know. I wouldn't have. What is it with me and guys in masks, anyway? Kid Flash courts me, Robin rescues me…I'm surprised Speedy hasn't knocked on my door and asked me if I've heard the good word about the Titan way."

"Or at least coerced you into fixing breakfast for them." Terra sipped her coffee, savoring the comfort as it eased its way down her throat, soothing her. She gently stabbed at some of the fluffy eggs on her plate, forking them into her mouth greedily. "I'm starved."

"How can you be starved after we gorged ourselves on Happy Garden last night? Between the egg rolls and to Moo Goo Gai Pan and the scallops and the General Tso's chicken and those Chinese donut things, I thought I was going to give birth last night."

"Natural food. You get hungry after the initial feeling of being stuffed passes. Besides, if you're going to keep making eggs like this, I'm going to keep eating here."

"Great. Maybe I can always quit the hero business and just open up a luncheonette."

Terra clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling a large giggle.

"Oh, knock it off, Blondie. You already complimented my food, don't act like it's making you gag."

"It's….not…..that." Terra worked out in between gasps for air, finally doubling over in laughter.

"What's so funny? I'd better find it amusing!"

"You…are so….domestic!" Terra spit out in between laughing fits, causing the witch across from her to blanch.

"Okay, that's it! I'm going to hex you into next Tuesday!"

Terra waved her arms in front of her face in surrender. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just…come on, you know I'm right."

"Yeah? Will I still be so domestic if I kick you off of my couch and tell you to find another place to hide from your problems?"

"Now you're being mean."

"Jinx…I'm not making fun of you."

"That's not it. I'm just…sensitive about this sort of thing, I guess. I told you. I don't like feeling vulnerable. Sometimes I think about how I really want to make Flash happy. I want him to be proud of me. And that thought really sickens me. It just…isn't who I am."

"It's alright to want to please someone. It's not alright to please someone at the expense of hating yourself."

"I don't hate myself. It's just…I'm used to being independent. Let's face it, I couldn't exactly rely on the rest of the H.I.V.E. Five when I was with them. It was everyone for themselves. I had to be the brains of the outfit. And they never exactly thanked me for it. Idiot boys. My wants back then were pretty simple. Now I find I want this entirely different life. And I don't really miss the old one. I'm no goody two-shoes. I doubt that I ever will be. But I don't really care about being bad either. I just want to be happy. And I want Flash to be happy. And, though I really hate admitting it, it feels kind of good to make a positive difference sometimes. I never believed that I could. I used to think that I was born into this. But the reality is that we do have choices. Robin did teach me that. People like him, like Flash, they see that people like us can be more. Annoying, isn't it?"

"That someone sees better of you?"

"That they're right. I used to really hate Flash for that. But he was so persistent. Sometimes I still turn around and find roses waiting for me."

"What's that old saying, a good man is hard to find?"

"And harder to keep. But I'm trying."

Terra picked at her eggs, trying to savor the meal. "Did I ever tell you about my scars?"

"Your scars?" Jinx asked.

Terra nodded in response. "From after Robin was in my mind. They're on my neck."

Jinx blinked, then leaned across the table for a better look, embarrassing the blonde slightly, but she craned her neck.

"I thought those were tattoos." Jinx said at length. "You know. Butterflies. They suit you. You're like a butterfly. That whole mental trip you went on was like a chrysalis."

"But that's not how I got the scars. They're from one of the times I almost died, shortly after that fateful night."

"Someone tried to kill you."

"I tried to make Robin kill me. These butterfly wings of mine are really just his handprints."

"He _choked_ you?" Jinx raised her eyebrows. "Terra!"

"I used the mental link we still shared at the time to control him. I just…I just wanted to die. Sometimes I still do. Why am I still alive? What do I hope to accomplish by living? All my life has ever done is hurt other people. A cycle of samsara. So many people I've hurt. I keep course correcting, but it always ends up in tears. I was so ready to die, then. And I wanted him to kill me. Robin made me feel safe. And I just knew that if he ushered me out of this existence, I could go peacefully. I wanted to feel him. That's why I seduced him into choking me. But Raven found out and stopped it. My throat was so bruised for weeks. I had to drink this horrible stuff to heal it. Raven used her magic, but it could only do so much. And the scars…I asked her to leave them. They remind me of him. My butterfly wings. A permanent impression from the hands of a man who cared for me enough to kill me. But I should have known better. He won't let me die. Robin. Slade. Beast Boy. They'll never let me. So I try to keep finding reasons to stay alive. Lately, I feel like I'm running out."

"Blondie…come on, there are so many reasons. My cooking, for one."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I get like this. Really, I'm okay." Terra rubbed at her eyes. "Thank you. For…for accepting me. I am such a mess. And your cooking is really good. I'm sorry I'm not being a very polite guest."

"Hey, you've got problems. Look, not that I'm some kind of social worker. But unburdening yourself on me has to be better than trying to talk it out with your housemates. I'm here for you."

"I don't know why. But I'm grateful, Jinx."

"Yeah, well, as long as you don't go blabbing to the world about it. I have my image to maintain."

"I'm sorry I teased you about the whole domestic thing. Honestly, I think you're pretty brave. It all has to be new to you. But you're not afraid to explore it and learn. You're giving yourself the chance to be more."

"It's easier for others to forgive us than to forgive ourselves. It's only recently in my life that I've realized how much time I've wasted. Being inside the H.I.V.E., it may have been fun. I won't lie. I kind of enjoyed doing some of the bad things I did, exploring how far I could push my bad luck powers. But there was something missing. It was empty. I didn't feel like I had a purpose. I just waited for Brother Blood to give me assignments. Then after his defeat, I just did random crimes with my team. But they never really appreciated me. I was the brains and the beauty of the outfit, but they were just typical teenage boys, really. All they cared about was girls and video games and food. They never saw the big picture that I did. As a villainess, I wanted to be someone. And as a heroine, I'm the same way. Maybe I'm not like most heroes. I don't know. It's not glory I'm after. I just want the world to know that I was here. Speak of me good. Speak of me bad. But speak of me."

Terra clapped her hands softly in applause. "I envy you. At least you know the road you're travelling down."

"You'll figure it out for yourself. It doesn't happen overnight. Besides, I had some help. He's a cocky and arrogant do-gooder. But I guess it works. I admire his persistence. And let's be straight, most guys would be too afraid to approach me. Especially in my darker days. He just kept coming back like a kicked puppy—no matter how many times I pushed him away. He wanted me. And he hasn't left. I got kind of worried that he would some time ago, after I got this place. You know how it is. After you let a guy into your panties, you feel more insecure than when you decided to let him in the first place."

"Um…not really." The blonde blushed profusely.

Jinx sputtered, taken aback. "What?! You mean, all this time?! All this time, and you and the Wild Child never-"

Terra shook her head. "No. I mean, I've slept with him. But I haven't…slept with him. It just felt wrong. I have these feelings for someone else and he knows. I care about BB. I don't want to do it with him under those circumstances. It wouldn't be fair to either of us."

"Well, I'm no prude, but yeah, no point in punching your V-card for something you don't really feel. It should mean something to you."

"I offered it to Robin once. Years ago. Before he was with Raven. He turned me down."

"That's because he's a Boy Scout. He didn't know a good thing when he saw it."

"He doesn't love me. Not like that. Certainly not back then. I don't know. Honestly, I know he's never going to be mine. But I'd settle for him being my first. Then at least I'd know he loves me, in some manner. It would be enough. You know, the saddest thing about all of this is that in another life, we would've ended up together. I'm positive. We're the ones who survived being with Slade. We belong together. That's what keeps me going. Because I know that somewhere, in another time, in another place, I'm in his arms. And for that to happen, I have to go without him in this universe to be with him in that other one. Maybe it's silly. But…it feels right. Makes it more bearable. Honestly, as much as it hurts…it's not as bad as you'd think. I never thought anyone could ever love me. But Beast Boy has had nothing but an open heart for me since the moment we met. And Robin does love me in his own way—he loved me enough to save me, risk everything for me. Maybe it's not exactly the love I've come to desire from him. But it's something. And then there's Rain. She has so much wonder in her beautiful eyes. She always looks up at me expectantly. I don't want to let her down. But I don't want to confuse her either."

"She'll understand when she gets older. You know that."

Terra nodded. "But I don't know if Raven does. I'm sure she gets it logically. But Rain is her little girl. Honestly she took it better than I would have if our roles were reversed. The two of us really need to talk. I know Raven, and I know she wants what is best for her daughter. And…maybe I am in the way. I don't even know what to do anymore? 'Raven, hi, so your daughter thinks of me as her mother and oh yeah I still want to get into the pants of your mate. How's your day going?' The fact that she hasn't tried to outright dispose of me is proof of her patience."

"Give her some time. She knows you're not trying to hurt her. She's probably upset, but in your defense it's not like you tried to take Robin or Rain from her. But then, I'm not the one you really need to tell all these feelings of yours too. I'm just the sounding board. The Gloomy Chick is the one who deserves to hear them."

"But what if I can't face her?"

"What if I go with you? I'm not on anyone's side. I care about you, Blondie. Probably because you're kind of like me in some ways. But I'm not out to break up any families. And I know that in your heart, no matter what you might desire, you wouldn't hurt someone you care so much about like that."

"You would do this? For me?" The Earth Mover's eyes teared up again.

"Hey, hey, watch the waterworks! I just don't have anything better to do with my time!"

"Why is everyone so kind to me when I create nothing but problems?"

"Because you're cute." Jinx shrugged, reaching across the table and mussing Terra's hair. "And, I think that in spite of your mistakes, everyone can see the sweet and lost little girl who just wants to give back to the people that take chances on her. You're so convinced that you're this terrible person, but you're not. If you were, you'd just take the things you want and not care about the consequences to others. You know, the kind of girl I used to be." Jinx smirked. "Guess we're lucky to have the same benefactors."

Terra blinked, looking down at her plate. "I'm sorry. I hardly even ate. I guess Flash wasn't the only rude one."

Jinx sighed in response. "Some things just weren't meant to be. But you owe me a breakfast Blondie. One where you're not so weepy and emotional, perhaps?"

"I get this way a lot lately."

"So if we go hug things out with Gloomy and Bird Boy, you'll get better?"

"I guess I'm willing to try anything at this point."

"Then why don't you try taking a shower? I set out some guest towels. They're soft and fluffy since I don't normally have overnight guests."

"Not even Flash?!"

"He has his own towel. Not that he needs it. The air dries him faster than any towel could with his abilities."

"Thanks again for all your hospitality."

"Hey, it helps me grow too, right? The towels are on top of the hamper. There's 3 handles in the shower. The left one is for hot water, the right one for cold, and the middle one diverts the water from the faucet to showerhead. You'll figure it out. Oh, and the showerhead is detachable. That I insisted on." The pale witch smirked.

Terra backed her chair away from the table, standing up. "Thanks. I…may be awhile. I've got a lot to wash away."

"Start with the guilt. If you don't get rid of that, you'll never really live."

"I'll try." Terra stated with more energy than she felt, disappearing into the hallway, the faint clicking sound of a door closing indicating she had entered the bathroom.

"Cute kid. Crazy and a real project, but cute." Jinx took her communicator out of a nearby drawer and turned it on, cycling through frequencies until she came to that of the imposing Titan Leader, she depressed the send button, waiting for a response. It was with some surprise that she was greeted by the sight of her opposite number, Raven.

"I trust this is a social call?" The sorceress deadpanned.

"Oh, you know me. I just called to chat about the soaps with you."

"I don't do television. Try Starfire."

"Hey, be nice, Gloomy. I found something you obviously lost."

"The prodigal daughter? Keep her."

"You don't mean that."

"Try me."

"Oh, Raven, let's spare each other the bickering and bantering. You've got Bird Boy for that. Terra needs help."

"Yes, I'm aware. I have already spoken to Robin about…an accommodation."

"Do I even want to know?"

"Likely not."

"Look, however the three of you decide to work this out is your business. But go easy on the kid, okay? She's got a big heart. She's just…"

"Lost?" 

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

"You were once like her." Raven reminded the petite witch.

"Yeah, and look how great I turned out in the end!"

"Yes. Somehow you prove to be even more obsequious and annoying as an ally than you did as an enemy."

"Thank you! Now, where's Robin?"

"Clearing his head."

"It's already full of hot air. How can he tell when it gets clear?"

An imperceptible smirk crossed Robin's lips. "Consider your services engaged. You're coming by with Terra?"

"Soon enough. She's…getting herself together at the moment."

"Take your time. I won't bother signaling Robin about this until he's done. The break is good for him."

"What about the comedian?"

"I've enjoyed having him out of the Tower. But I suppose not notifying him of Terra's whereabouts would cross the line into cruelty."

"No, don't tell him she's here. Let her come back on her own. Just tell him she's been found and is coming back."

"Agreed. If I may ask, why are you getting involved?"

"She reminds me of me, in some ways. Anyway, we girls need to stick together. She's a good kid underneath it all. You know that, Raven. Don't give her a hard time."

"I do regret my recent outburst. If you'll understand, my calmer nature tends to flee from me when matters involve my only child."

"A regular Mama Bear, huh? You know Terra loves that little girl like her own. Ugh, maybe that was the wrong thing to say…"

"No. It is accurate. And despite this…situation, I am ultimately grateful to have someone who looks after my daughter in such a manner. I don't have to worry about Rain when she is in Terra's care. And that is both a relief and a frustration."

"Tell Rain her Auntie Jinx is coming to visit."

"She incorruptible, you know."

"We'll see. I'll catch you in a few hours after I've made Blondie presentable."

"I'll ask Robin to fix something." Raven inclined her head, terminating the conversation.

Jinx dropped her communicator onto the counter. "Gabby as ever, that one. The more things change, the more they stay the same."

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

"Wake up." Raven nudged her mate gently, tracing a finger across his shoulder.

"Don't wanna." Robin replied groggily, tightening himself into a ball. "Sunday. Gimme another half hour."

"Still feeling worn out from last night?"

"Dehydrated is more like it."

"Well then we should work on replacing those precious bodily fluids." Raven smirked. "Take one of the sports drinks I save for Rain. I need you to cook breakfast. We have company coming."

"Jinx invited herself over?"

"Not exactly. She found Terra for us."

"Beast Boy is gonna feel bad it wasn't him."

"Given the situation, she may have only run away from him anyway. Jinx may be a pain, but I'll give you credit for this one—she's done well for herself. I wasn't likely to see the good in her."

"You're too much like her." Robin yawned, stretching. "Anyway, it was Kid Flash who really believed in her. I just gave her the second chance when she really needed it."

"You did more than that. You encouraged her."

"I simply helped her see the big picture, before, she was trying to do good because of someone else—for Kid Flash. That's why she had the setback when they fought. She had to want it for herself. And I believe she did want it, that night. She's a pain in the ass, sometimes, I know. But sometimes it's good to have people around who give it to you straight. You've always excelled at that, Rae."

"And does this mean that I am also a 'pain in the ass?" Raven asked, causing her mate to sigh.

"That's a loaded question and you know it." He rolled over, so that his front was facing her instead of his back, reaching for one of her hands, he stroked along her fingers. "You really are sometimes. But, I wouldn't want you to change. Because I know you care. And I know you also push me to be the best man I can be. And I have to be the best, to be worthy of you and our little girl."

"You are worthy." Raven touched his cheek in a display of affection. "You are also in need of a shave." She smirked.

"Can't we cuddle for a little while?"

"_You_ want to cuddle? Usually you're obsessed with sex. How much can you have, anyway?"

Robin stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know. I haven't maxed out yet. But I'm still a little drained from last night. A cuddle is enough."

"A few minutes, I suppose. Terra's going to be coming home, courtesy of Jinx. I need you to be a good host and cook."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because I can only successfully make very simple meals like pastina, oatmeal, and macaroni and cheese." Raven reminded him. "That would not be a very good spread for our guests."

"You ever seen Terra eat? She's as bad as Beast Boy or Cyborg."

"Then let's refrain from giving Jinx something else to tease me about."

"Alright, alright, I'll do it." Robin relented, wrapping his arms around her.

"This isn't meal preparation."

"I need to soak up some of your strength first."

"What about my strength? One of us has to wake up our daughter."

"You volunteered me for kitchen duty, remember?"

"Maybe a few more minutes then." Almost unconsciously, she tightened her grip on her lover, twining her legs with his. "You weaken me, Mr. Grayson."

"I won't tell anyone about your ability to show affection of you won't." He grinned, stroking her hair.

"I'll only share you once, Richard. Remember that. After this matter with Terra is…dealt with," she hesitated for the right words. "Once it is over, I want all of you for myself. I won't share you with anyone else."

"You won't have to. Raven, you don't have to share me now. We can find some other way."

"There are times a woman knows what must be done. I permit you to do what is necessary. I even permit you to enjoy yourself. I won't say that I do not feel jealousy…but I believe you are faithful to me. If I did not, I would dissolve this relationship." She silenced his effort to protest with a finger to his lips. "Richard, enjoy what she longs so much to give you. Accept her love for what it is. Consummate it. And then hold onto her for the night. In the morning, when you let her go, let her know that you will always care for her, and that while you cannot be hers, you will always have that night. She will be saddened when it is over. But she will also feel complete."

"But what about you?"

"I will not interfere, nor will I pry into your emotions or your aura. But I may need a little more attention than normal."

"This feels wrong, Rae."

The sorceress sighed. "It is not my first choice. But I believe it is for the best. You asked me to trust you with my heart in Gotham. I still do. I will even trust you with it while we walk through this fire."

"What about Beast Boy."

"That's what today is about. We speak with him and see if he'll agree to my proposal."

"And if not?"

"I don't know. I don't have a plan B yet. I'm only agreeing to share you so that Rain and I can have you back, fully."

"You can't foist me off on Terra, you know that? I'll be back for you, Rae."

"I'm counting on it. While you're pleasuring the blonde, I'm going to make a list of chores for you to do when you get back."

"And what about you?"

"I'm a chore?" She asked in a threatening voice.

"No, but you'll need to get done too. If this really happens, I want to rededicate myself to you in every way when it's over."

"I think that can be arranged. You'd better enjoy that girl—because I'm going to make you forget her. I can be rather persuasive, Boy Wonder."

"Of that, I have no doubt." Robin found himself yawning, caught between his need to start his day and his desire to hold his love and drift back into unconsciousness. "Ten more minutes?" 

"How about an even fifteen," Raven murmured quietly, settling into their embrace and shutting her eyes. Sunday could wait just a little bit longer to start.

XoXoXoXoXoXoXoXoXo

_Author's Notes_

Yeah, I know, I didn't include some of the characters like Starfire and Cyborg or Beast Boy in this particular chapter—but I haven't forgotten about them. I'm kind of building to something with the next chapter—where I'll bring the absent Titans back into the fold in some exciting ways. I guess this was mostly an expository chapter. Still, I don't want to just throw stuff out there—I like to detail the thought processes of the characters and what they're going through, while still making time for some fun. In spite of the drama, I had a lot of fun with Jinx and Terra, and I had wanted to do something completely silly and ridiculous with Robin and Rain for some time! Sometimes I can have trouble telling the difference between what is cute and what is idiotic, so hopefully I didn't miss the mark too hard with that one. Or at the very least, that the cuddling scene at the end made up for it.

I know this chapter took a good four months or so to do. I've been caught up in a variety of different things, although I have been penning this latest chapter on and off for some time. I tend to work really hard on Seized. I know that it doesn't have a lot of readers, but it is important to me that the characters ring true and that the material that I ultimately present to you, the reader, isn't half-assed. I've always said that I wanted the story to be unique, and I've gotten feedback that it is. But just because something is unique, doesn't mean it is useful. I have to take the time to cook the chapters and make sure that they meet with my approval before I send them out of the proverbial kitchen for you to taste. Sometimes, it takes me longer than others to feel like I've hit all the right notes. Like I mentioned above, I ultimately chose to leave some of the characters out of this installment—I really didn't have anything for Starfire or Cyborg or even Beast Boy to do that was of any consequence. And while I enjoy working with their characters, I don't want to insert pointless scenes into the story that pull things off track. I have some fun ideas for BB in the next chapter and something cute with Star. I'll probably let Cyborg be the long suffering guy—he just comes across that way sometimes and it makes him really fun to write.

The other reason it can take so long sometimes is because I focus on making these chapters relatively long experiences for you to enjoy. I don't feel that you get the most bang for your buck (metaphorically as you don't pay admission for fanfics) if the whole experience is over within five minutes. I like to make sure there's enough material for you to digest and mull over. To want to know what happens next not because it was so short, but because I left off in just the right place to leave you wanting more. I like to take the time to craft the best experience that I can for you as the reader. I don't pretend to be some kind of mighty fanfiction god. Lord knows if I was trying to achieve popularity, I wouldn't consistently update this fic—by far the least popular ongoing title I have ever committed too. But as I have said numerous times, the fic is relevant to me most of all, so if even one other person is getting a captivating experience out of it, I'm coming out ahead.

I don't know where I get the ideas for some of this stuff. I can't tell you how many times I've been staring at a blank page, waiting for something to fill it. Sometimes I just have to let go and trust that something will come to me. And then it does, sooner or later. Oftentimes I will just throw two characters together and let them talk. Their voices always come out and I am almost always pleased with the result. I always allow the characters to dictate the story. I only give basic setups and let the characters do as they will. Who am I to tell them how to react?

I think this brings us around to the end. If you follow my work in detail, I am making a heroic effort to pen a new chapter of _Instant Gratification_. You know, that fic I haven't updated in about six years? My most popular work of all time? I've recently taken great inspiration from the film that I helped to Kickstart, _Wish I Was Here_. Most of my HA work was influenced by Zach Braff's first feature film, _Garden State_. Now that the spiritual successor is going to be released into theaters next month, I just feel it's high time to face up to my HA roots again and try to do something with that story. This doesn't mean that I'm stopping production on Seized, just that the next thing I publish will hopefully be an update to IG. After that, we'll just see what happens. But I'm already rather excited about the next chapter of Seized. I really want to see how that inevitable four-way conversation between Beast Boy, Robin, Raven, and Terra comes out. Because I don't entirely know myself. Like I said, I just document what the characters say and do—I don't decide for them. But I'm sure it will be a lot of fun. And maybe a bit dramatic and angsty too. I've recently talked with my pre-reader and editor about trying something a little different with the next chapter, a unique perspective. I don't want to say anything in case it doesn't work. But if it does, I think I'll be able to say without question that I really nailed that whole unique thing down.

Alright, end of the file, ladies and germs. Please don't forget to tell the author how he is doing! Read, review, and as always, send me your questions, comments, compliments, complaints, love letters, death threats, marriage proposals, and ransom demands

Lord Malachite

6/17/14

10:04PM, EST

E-mail: ranger (underscore) writer

AIM: Asukaphile26

Love me on Twitter lordmalachite


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